What would you do if you were starving? Robert Carlyle has a ball exploring starvation, cannibalism, American expansion in the 1840's, and the will to survive in this self-aware cannibal action classic, Ravenous.
We discuss the historical context of the film, various instances of cannibalism through recent history, and the not so subtle sexual tension between Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle. Despite the subject matter, the movie is a genuine treat. Good times are had by all. So settle into a chair and let us take you on a journey up into the mountains. Would you eat, or be eaten?
Check out our website: https://gormanongore.buzzsprout.com/
Tell us what you want us to cover next.
Email : gormanongore@protonmail.com
Feast with us in valhalla, or Truckee lake
buymeacoff.ee/GormanOnGore
What would you do if you were starving? Robert Carlyle has a ball exploring starvation, cannibalism, American expansion in the 1840's, and the will to survive in this self-aware cannibal action classic, Ravenous.
We discuss the historical context of the film, various instances of cannibalism through recent history, and the not so subtle sexual tension between Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle. Despite the subject matter, the movie is a genuine treat. Good times are had by all. So settle into a chair and let us take you on a journey up into the mountains. Would you eat, or be eaten?
Check out our website: https://gormanongore.buzzsprout.com/
Tell us what you want us to cover next.
Email : gormanongore@protonmail.com
Feast with us in valhalla, or Truckee lake
buymeacoff.ee/GormanOnGore
0:19
[Music]
0:34
hello everyone and a warm welcome back to gorman on gore a podcast about horror
0:40
films with me once again is my co-host jacob say hello jacob
who me
0:47
hey how are you it's this fine january evening
uh doing all right
0:53
had some pizza earlier it was pretty good uh wonderful
0:58
yeah i know i i don't know it was it's all right yeah i mean for the listeners at home
1:04
we're still technically in lockdown i guess so yeah there's only so much we can do
1:09
really i i mean i'm in san francisco so there's no like technical here
1:15
yeah uh that's the other thing for for those of you in the audience who don't know jacob and i are in entirely
1:20
different states of the left coast please forgive us yeah so i i record in a suburb a bit
1:27
north of seattle uh washington that's washington state not washington dc
1:33
and as jacob said he uh he he records his stuff in uh san francisco california
1:39
yep not like downtown but you know i'm in the area are you
1:44
yeah that's cool you just sent me some pictures i don't think i've ever actually been
1:50
oh yeah i uh i did have one uh i took a picture of a place that i think
1:56
was used for a uh an establishing shot in uh first puppet master movie
2:03
oh well that's really important so listen
2:08
i mean i yeah first of all i can't confirm that but the second yeah i thought it was neat yeah so
2:15
jacob when you were growing up you're a little younger than me right i like to think so so yeah did you ever
2:22
play the original oregon trail yes but not much because uh i was bad at
2:28
it and i as a child did not try to get good at things i was bad at
2:35
yeah those were in the innocent days of computer programs when uh at least i was very innocent about
2:42
and naive about the consequences of video games and so at the very beginning of the oregon trail game
2:48
you get to put in the names of all of the people who are going with you on the caravan
2:53
i think almost everybody the first time they always put the names of their friends and their family maybe a dog
3:00
you know that kind of a thing and then in the midst of the game i don't know i i'd say almost everyone
3:06
dies off in the first try and so you get to watch you know your mom go down a
3:12
river or your your dog get killed by a snake bite i mean i think people do that even
3:18
afterwards that's like half the fun yeah my trick eventually was just to
3:24
ride everyone really hard and then give them too much rations right at the end so they were healthy right when they got
3:30
to the finish line that almost feels like cheating well it sort of was and also a lot of people
3:35
died along the way so i mentioned the oregon trail as
3:40
blazed or trailblazed rather by lewis and clark because we learned about it in public school and we thought it was this
3:46
big impressive thing and i suppose the land trip is impressive
3:52
but i don't know as an adult especially when i looked into it more i realized
3:57
that it wasn't that amazing because they kept going to places where there was always people
4:02
already yeah that that would make it a bit less impressive i only bring this up because
4:08
it's the context the broader context of the film that we are watching today
4:13
1999's cannibal classic ravenous [Music]
4:21
we're sending you to california fort spencer we have four missing soldiers captain and nobodies
4:28
we need a supportable explanation
4:33
captain john boyd is about to discover no one just ends up at fort spencer we
4:40
come for a reason yours being well something he never imagined
4:48
we have a great sense of camaraderie here ford spencer this indian scout told me a curious
4:54
story it's an old indian myth from the north man eats the flesh of another
5:01
he absorbs the other man's strength now one man must choose
5:08
between [Music]
5:17
[Music]
5:23
guy pierce ives i'm gonna kill him robert carlisle it was tough but then uh
5:28
good soldier ought to be that was really sneaky
5:34
[Music] bon appetit
5:47
every single way to get to california sucks i think that's really the thing last year i read two years before the
5:53
mast which was from 1836 or so and it was about a guy who had to sail
5:59
all the way around south america to get to spanish california and it sucked
6:05
and in that book i didn't realize it when i was reading it but in that book there was one sentence where
6:10
incidentally the mandana says oh and there might be some gold dust in the rivers
6:16
and uh people latched onto that when they read about that it was published around the 1840
6:24
it almost single-handedly started the gold rush huh that's interesting yeah and so
6:30
almost all of the horrors that came from the pioneering days came from people's greed it was a combination
6:37
of trying to sneak around other people i think the people who genuinely wanted to go to a new place
6:44
did so in a calm and orderly fashion so really some of the worst cases
6:49
of human tragedies in american history you know that led to cannibalism were almost entirely because people cut
6:56
corners or they tried to sneak around behind other people's backs or get somewhere before they were you know
7:02
before it was safe to do so you know the the donner party for instance that was in uh 1846 and
7:10
they were a bunch of professional families and they used something called a hastings cutoff it's just named after
7:16
the idiot who told people to go that way where he misdirected people down the uh
7:22
was it the the salt lake salt flats and he was like yeah that'll be great
7:27
yeah there's no water and there's just salt everywhere and no one's ever gone here before
7:32
but it's like a more direct route to get right to california and this is mind you this is before
7:40
we owned california that was the other thing that i was caught off guard by when i started looking this up uh we
7:45
didn't own any of california until basically when the donner party was
7:51
going there and also when this movie starts oh yeah
7:56
and actually they weren't even done signing the peace treaty with mexico in 1847 when this movie begins
8:04
because right off the bat i mean we'll get into it more detail but right off the bat they just say that the the fort that the movies takes place in they say
8:10
oh it was an old spanish mission and i'm just like well what you mean like last year
8:17
yeah that's a good point we were so presumptuous as a people even then you know just like yeah well
8:23
whatever i mean no one's gonna stop us from coming here and just you know putting down some land some claims
8:30
i mean were they wrong uh clearly not so i mean you know who's the judge you know since we won
8:37
and all right yeah you know uh might make spring
8:43
uh well one goes that far but yeah that's the other thing no um this film starts right at the end well
8:50
most of the end of the mexican-american war where we just sort of decided we were going to take texas
8:56
and uh i guess to a lesser extent all of the other western states that were beneath oregon
9:02
i think that's actually why we did the oregon trail first was because that was land that wasn't technically anyone's
9:08
yet so it's like no one could stop lewis and clark but i looked it up and apparently
9:14
the mexican government still tried to stop lewis and clark i want to see like a movie about it they
9:20
sent a posse party of like 50 people and they were gonna arrest them but they
9:26
went up to uh i figured where exactly it was i think it was missouri or it might have been further down the
9:32
track but they got there a week late like oh you just missed the lewis and clark just came through here
9:41
i kind of like the idea of some kind of like inglorious bastard style like it's like historical fiction like what
9:48
if they like did catch them yeah just try to undo history
9:53
yeah just i mean i think that'd be interesting let's see if there's anything else in this beginning stuff i want to get into
9:59
before we actually talk about this this bloody and great movie oh yeah you want to guess on what the uh
10:08
what the tagline for this movie is before i tell you um they eat and they are eaten that's
10:14
actually pretty good uh the the actual no i'm sorry that's a cannibal holocaust is
10:21
it really like thinking of the other the other cannibal movement my cannibal movie's all mixed
10:27
up i i love the idea like thinking of someone you know like with a horror
10:33
collection of films and they're just panning like you know they're just rubbing their hand over a bunch of titles and he's like this is my cannibal
10:40
collection over here would not
10:46
would not trust anyone with like a dedicated cannibal section in their movies holocaust i got cannibal the
10:52
musical oh yeah also i do love that that story
10:57
of that guy alfred packer that uh matt and trey parker made into cannibal the musical
11:02
oh yeah he was the only guy in american history that was tried for cannibalism i forget if he was convicted or not that
11:09
guy uh straight up did it and i don't mean like i don't know i don't even think it
11:14
was a uh a survival issue because he went up into the mountains of
11:20
i think it was between utah and colorado he was trying to sneak into a mining operation before other people could get
11:25
there because once again it was a gold mine claim him and a group of dudes
11:31
wanted to get there before other people could and so they're like let's just sneak over the mountains you know it'll well
11:37
it won't take any time at all and they just cut through the steepest parts because alfred packer he was a
11:44
late addition to the party he was kind of a tag along and he falsely claimed that he knew the area
11:51
and that he would be a guide so he just straight up led them i don't think he knew where he was going and he
11:56
actually went higher elevation rather than lower when they found uh the pile of bodies
12:02
that he created he was actually pretty close to his destination but he was up like on a
12:07
higher elevation like it's like it took a wrong turn it's very weird and all of the all of
12:14
the bodies i mean not to get too graphic but the stuff that he he picked off was the easy stuff you know it wasn't
12:21
i don't know when you are in genuine trouble you will very sparingly do something
12:28
horrible and make it last as long as possible and then maybe you go on to the next one you know like those people from
12:33
alive the uh uruguayan plane that went down yeah they kind of
12:40
you know they did it in a systematic and reluctant way we're like all right well listen we're running out of the the pilot so we'll just move on to this next
12:47
frozen dead guy and see already this podcast has become
12:52
great so so they you know when they found alfred's
12:58
you know the remains of his compatriots they just had the soft bits taken off
13:06
i really like the idea of a picky cannibal yeah well i think it was just sort of like he lined up all the bodies
13:13
outside of his tent and when he was a little hungry he would just go i'll just take a little bit of cheek you know that kind of a thing
13:19
sure he said that he especially liked the the breast meat although they were all men so i i don't
13:25
know i i wonder if that i mean you can't see but i'm touching my my chest right now is i wonder if that's
13:31
good meat right there i would imagine so well he seemed to think so i mean not
13:36
that i you know speculate about cannibalism and what it would taste like and all that
13:42
too often yeah okay so anyway getting back way back to where i was starting uh the
13:49
tagline for this movie is you are who you eat
13:56
yeah i'm inclined to agree i mean like it's kind of funny i think in a way it sets a tone for the
14:01
movie uh it sort of warns you about how it's going to be silly
14:06
in a way yeah but yeah it's not super great
14:12
so historically the donner party failed in 1846
14:17
and this movie takes place in eight did i say 46 yeah so this movie takes place in 1847 so
14:25
it's just one year later and guy pierce has just helped uh win
14:30
the spanish-american war which apparently was an incredibly long
14:35
and bloody conflict and it took forever for them to to finish it and people when they got back
14:41
from the war were just wrecks and uh guy pierce who plays lieutenant boyd in this is no
14:47
exception so yeah i mean
14:53
he didn't get stacked under a pile of corpses that's that's not great well yeah
15:00
i love this movie because it starts with a big gross eating scene
15:05
yes uh the most disgusting looking steaks i've seen in my life yeah i was watching
15:11
a behind the scenes thing and they had craft services just bringing out these big drippy steaks for each take
15:17
yeah i think it's cause the steaks were going bad or looking congealed after a while
15:22
yeah they all looked very bad yeah so there's this big what is it some kind of a celebration dinner
15:29
and uh and everyone's sitting there's i don't know there's got to be like a hundred soldiers and they they each have a plate
15:36
and the on the plate is a big drippy kind of raw looking steak and and nothing else
15:43
i don't think there's potatoes or anything nope it's just the steak so yeah it's
15:48
got a it's got a real like strong like symbolism right off the badgers like here's some drippy meat
15:54
and uh right off the bat you can tell what kind of a movie it's going to be because it there's a lot of quick cuts
16:00
and like uncomfortable looks and you know and everyone's like eating and there's like a lot of mouth sounds
16:05
and cutting plates oh yeah you know like the fork on the plate noise you know that everyone hates
16:11
yeah i will say i am pretty uh i guess jaded to violence and blood in
16:18
movies like this like like a lot of that stuff didn't bug me but man that whole scene of them eating steak
16:27
was gross yeah it would have been an effective commercial to just try to encourage
16:32
people to be vegans i uh yeah honestly like you don't have to do this
16:39
this is what you look like yeah i mean i love that part when guy pierce eventually i guess he feels obligated to
16:45
try some of the steak so there's just like that heavy breathing like right next to the mic as he's like cutting
16:50
into the meat
16:56
yeah it's great and then he just goes out back and vomits and cuts right to the title card
17:01
ravidis yeah i was a little confused i think he is lieutenant boyd
17:08
but then he becomes captain boyd i'm not positive i think he's promoted uh
17:13
i think he is yeah because there's a flashback where they're yelling for him just in desperation lieutenant boyd help
17:20
us freeze and everyone's all of his friends are dying around him and he just lays down like a coward
17:27
but i guess he eventually took a mexican base somewhere
17:33
and so he's technically a hero but they they know that he he did dirty so you
17:38
know they're just gonna shuffle them off to an embarrassing remote location
17:44
yeah we're not even gonna put you in america we're gonna put you in the sierra nevada mountains
17:50
it's not even america yet oh okay so detail i wanted to go over
17:58
okay that whole the beginning with like the i forget who the quote was attributed to
18:05
oh yeah there's a quote from nietzsche and then a quote from anonymous i okay i
18:11
love the dumb cartoony uh arrow sound effect they
18:17
choose to use when they just sprawling yeah like wait what is that
18:23
yeah and it also reminded me that like nietzsche is uh like a favorite of
18:28
hipstery cynical dudes in college and nobody else
18:34
because even the quote is just ridiculous and self-serving it's just like if you fight monsters you may
18:39
become one yourself like yeah thanks confucius yeah
18:45
i mean i'm not sure i entirely agree with your uh conclusion about him but yeah but yeah sorry i'm throwing around
18:51
bombs i i minored in philosophy so yeah i got i got big opinions sure all right
19:00
he was not my favorite he is really fun to read though i will give him that
19:06
of all the uh the the philosophers he was like the insult comic philosopher he was just talking trash about everybody
19:14
it's a fun read uh yeah but yeah so yeah there was that first quote which i sort of loosely
19:19
paraphrased from nietzsche and then the second one was eat me from anonymous
19:25
i would have just had to be the director uh who was antonia bird by the way like yeah i said that yeah
19:32
hey you know i will say i i guess it's just like you know
19:37
showing uh maybe my my assumptions i did not realize the director of this
19:43
movie was a woman yeah well it wasn't originally uh there was a whole thing about that i
19:50
heard about that i i don't know the other guy's background but he was a director named mancheski
19:56
and uh the producers hated him well i don't know if that's quite it but they didn't seem to get along
20:02
and they were really hounding him throughout the whole thing and so he quit after less than a month of filming
20:09
i think it was like three weeks apparently uh he would send over the the rushes the you know the daily uh filming
20:16
they had done and they would get notes back for everything like this is too many close-ups
20:22
that seems like a uh a wonderful working relationship yeah and so they were going to put in someone else
20:30
oh god who was it i
20:35
wait a minute no i don't know but well they were going to be someone else it didn't work out and then i i can't i i can't remember
20:42
correctly but i think i could be wrong about this but i think george lucas helped make this movie well
20:48
or rather he recommended somebody i'm getting this i thought
20:53
uh i thought it was one of the actors well robert carla at least wait is it carlow well anyway somebody one of the
21:00
actors recommended antonia byrd and they went with her okay but i don't remember
21:06
oh never mind oh you know what i'll just i have to take that whole part out because no george lucas helped the
21:12
director who made return to oz which i looked up the other day chase i'm getting my wires crossed
21:20
yeah i mean it's understandable they're equally dark that's the important thing
21:27
yeah okay so yeah this is 1847 so the mexican-american war isn't quite over
21:33
but you know here we are we're in a place called fort spencer in california even though it's not california yet
21:40
uh they probably just conquered it about the year before but they have a lot of people there who seem well situated as
21:46
if they've been there a while and you know maybe they did i don't know there's a lot of americans who were going to california i just don't know
21:52
about the legality of it you know so apparently the the steep sierra
22:00
nevada range in california gets some of the heaviest snowfalls because of its proximity to the pacific
22:07
it's part of how uh the donner party got doomed they underestimated the early snowfall and got snowed in
22:15
the first scenes are just him you know lieutenant boyd him and a native american guide lady going to the
22:22
fort and it's just a beautiful location to shoot for a movie oh yeah it was wonderful i live like
22:29
like all day the establishing shots look great yeah i love the very american mountains
22:35
of uh slovakia yeah they they filmed in slovakia and in
22:41
durango mexico i don't know i don't see anything in the movie that looks like mexico to me
22:47
maybe some of the woods i guess but i don't know maybe
22:53
or maybe there's mountains there it could i don't know i believe the tatra mountains from slovakia are the mountains that are depicted in the movie
23:00
but they clearly did something in durango as well but i know nothing of it so we'll just
23:06
move on yeah all right so they get to the fort and one of my
23:11
initial notes for this is civilization never looks so uncivilized
23:17
yeah yeah uh it looks very bleak it's a rough looking palisade you know just like a wooden
23:23
wall of trunks and there's just a couple of little rough looking rude huts inside
23:30
yeah it must have been like getting assigned to work in antarctica yeah
23:37
he gets led to his room and the native american woman who you learn is named martha
23:43
martha okay i'm glad you did it someone's got to do it she offers him a big fluffy
23:50
blanket which looks great it's the only thing that looks good in the room and actually i think this is the the the
23:57
moment when boyd first remembers his cowardice in battle
24:04
with people just pleading for help and getting shot there's a great uh clip of a mexican american soldier waving around
24:12
an american flag yeah i took this yeah
24:20
like you wouldn't be excited yeah i also don't know i've never been in a combat situation i
24:26
mean i've fought people with my fists but i don't know what i would do in a fire fight and so i don't know if i
24:31
would be i don't know if any of us would know like what what we would do in that kind of situation you know where he already
24:38
knows he's basically dead and so he just lays down you know right in the middle of the fighting he's like
24:43
all right i'm going to pretend to be dead and then somehow uh tricks everybody into believing it you
24:50
know usually most soldiers are smart enough to to stick a dagger in the leg of corpses as
24:56
they're stacking them yeah but i guess they didn't do that for him although it would have been great if they did and he had to just pretend to
25:02
be dead while it was happening
25:10
let's do a few more stabs just to be sure i don't know why like
25:16
this that strikes me as like a very like jim carrey comedy thing to do yeah
25:22
a very uh when nature calls east ventura yeah yeah
25:28
okay so boyd is introduced to lieutenant hart who i i guess is in charge i'm not
25:33
really sure who's in charge of what is knox the most he's a major
25:40
so i think he he's most in charge but he's like drunk all the time so it almost doesn't count
25:45
yeah so yeah lieutenant hart uh i was gonna say uh
25:52
hart uh played by uh jeffrey jones the pedophile thank you
25:58
for knowing both his name and that backstory because i was going to look forward though
26:03
yeah i was going to say the dad from beetlejuice welcomes him to the fort he was also the principal from ferris
26:09
bueller and he was the possessed scientist from howard the duck look you can be all of those things but
26:17
you'll always be known as the pedophile guy when you're getting you know caught with child porn yeah and he also was
26:23
friends with uh with pee wee herman oh god so they must have had great
26:30
conversations like wait is pee wee was he is he
26:39
no i think that it was just that one thing where he was caught in a theater uh being a little too free with himself
26:46
it's like barely even a crime whatever yeah he was just too uninhibited he was
26:51
a free spirit yeah like what law did he really break yeah i have to say though i i've never
26:58
looked up whether or not he even did that i don't know why he was disgraced needless to say
27:04
that's what everyone spent years believing yeah i actually to be fair i don't know
27:10
one way or the other i mean if he's just a pervert then like whatever he's just a regular pervert
27:16
well i mean you know comparable to uh you know being a pedophile yeah yeah i guess
27:23
that's true so wait what's his name again jeffrey jones
27:30
i keep wanting to say jim jeffries but i think that's a comedian or something
27:35
that is okay so yeah jeffrey jones jim jeffries uh he
27:40
for the record i i don't think the comedian is a pedophile oh wait a minute oh is he that he's the puppet guy right
27:50
no no that that's like a jeffrey dunham oh you know i'm getting all my jeff's mixed up
27:55
yeah okay well anyway i don't want to know yeah he's cursed upon his name
28:01
yeah if you find him funny uh just turn turn the podcast off well i do
28:06
kind of like the old man puppet but the rest of them not so much hey senor jalapeno oh that was horrible
28:14
jesus okay like that's just like whatever whatever this is not about jeffrey dunham as much
28:22
as it needs to be it will not be okay so lieutenant hart says that this
28:28
place thrives on tdm apparently he's been translating books from the original languages
28:35
but he's so familiar with the text that he just uses some of the bigger books to smash walnuts
28:40
yeah they set up that he has a dagger in his desk mostly just so that people can use it later quite a lot
28:48
oh yes so yeah they mentioned it's a former spanish mission and then yeah lieutenant heart i love
28:54
this scene because it's a very simple straightforward exposition dump they're just like all right now there's eight
29:00
people at this fort and here's everybody yeah and it's great there's a nice
29:05
little montage but you kind of see something that kind of sums up each character in their weird kind of goofiness
29:11
yeah so yeah we got private toffler he's a christian doofus well that's the way i wrote it
29:17
uh he's being played by jeremy davies who if you will recall he's from saving
29:23
private ryan he's up him if you remember he's the guy who wouldn't bring me oh
29:29
yeah i think like half the movie is people like shouting at him
29:38
yeah so that movie was huge and that movie came out a year before this one did
29:45
oh no this is what he did after that that poor man
29:51
he's wonderful in this i don't mean to i don't mean to besmirch no but yeah
29:57
like oh god we gotta listen mr davies we have a perfect role for you we want you
30:03
to be a dim-witted preacher yeah if he could be just like a complete
30:08
weenie who nobody's gonna like yeah okay so we want you to sort of just kind of half sing to yourself while you're
30:14
trying to write hymns and not paying attention to anything so that's private topler and then
30:20
there's uh private knox who kind of plays a bigger role later wait private knocks no it's major knocks
30:26
damn it i wrote that down wrong i'm just gonna cross that out right now stupid me from the past okay so major knox uh he
30:33
plays doctor he used to be a veterinarian so that's promising
30:38
like well i sort of know what's in there and then uh there's private reich who's
30:44
played by neil mcdonough he's great he's the soldier yes i uh
30:50
in the few notes i have about him i have him uh written down as m bison because he
30:56
played m bison in street fighter the legend of gen lee i i'm sad to say i saw
31:02
most of that film yes uh i saw an opening day in theaters oh my god
31:07
i didn't even know that went to theaters yeah oh yeah and mind you audience it was like not the good street fighter with
31:13
jean-claude van damme well no that one's not good either but that's the famous one now this is an even more obscure one
31:19
that came out with no then what was it when it come up that is the good one it's the goodest one i guess
31:26
yeah uh let's see it's probably like 90 something right
31:32
oh god this is like way more recent 2009 yeah
31:38
god i had no excuse so yeah no neil mcdonough is great he does kind of have
31:43
a villainous demeanor but that's not his fault he was just born that way yeah he just looks like a villain he's
31:50
got the kind of whitish blonde hair or maybe they just make him always dye it that way
31:55
and he's got piercing blue eyes and just like yeah an excellent physique which they immediately show off because he's i
32:02
don't know what he's doing in the river like proving he's a man or something so it's a great intro for his character
32:08
though yeah he's just shouting into the wilderness you know
32:14
okay i need to get away from this legend of gently wiki page i'm like remembering
32:19
like oh my god the guy from black eyed peas played vegan i forgot about that like what the hell
32:24
no no we can't go down that rabbit hole we can't uh also wait kristen it's
32:31
oh wait they got it they got a wait hold on kristen
32:37
she's not chinese like they got a white girl to play chun li yeah
32:43
i mean i mean that's like why
32:48
because they're stupid idiots i guess but it's like that's so weird
32:54
okay so back to this movie if you don't mind sorry yes anyway sorry uh then
32:59
there's uh martha and george which i think are brother and sister and they just say that they came with
33:04
the place he's like all right here's some here's some local native americans i guess they
33:09
were just around yeah um i mean if it weren't for them being like
33:16
pretty good up front people that would seem really ominous
33:21
like this came with the place like what does it say what does that even mean they seem pretty cool i guess
33:27
yeah but like that is such a weird thing to say yeah well i mean martha is real tight-lipped but like in a cool way it
33:34
seems more like she saves her words for really important moments yeah and you know she seems real no nonsense
33:40
knows how to get things done which is cool uh her brother is i don't they
33:45
don't say much about him but what little you see of him he likes to get high on the wacky tabaki
33:52
and and he's real superstitious and that's really all you know he seems
33:58
like an alright guy i mean he seems like he would be good with his bow but spoiler alert he never actually uses the
34:04
damn thing yeah and back to the wacky tobacco they
34:10
come to private cleaves who is over medicated and it's david arquette so now you know
34:16
it's from the 90s and he's just having a swell old time
34:23
laughing it up with the peace pipe i mean i mean it's funny but
34:32
yeah i love a good cackle to be honest i mean you can kind of see uh yeah but yeah you can also totally
34:37
see like why the studio latched on to that it's like okay we got we gotta
34:42
settle up the uh the stuff yeah so you're referring to the trailer that both of us remember but i can't find
34:49
where they really play up the stoner part and there's only like two shots in this whole movie where david arquette
34:55
looks real messed up and he's you know he's smoking a pipe and i remember everyone thinking it was
35:00
going to be a big issue in the movie but not really it's just kind of a feature
35:06
yeah i mean it makes sense because private cleaves
35:11
i mean if you're trapped in a boring place where you do nothing all the time apparently he's the cook so all he does
35:17
is he cooks and he gets high i you know like him the guy who's constantly drunk i like
35:24
i feel i i feel you i think i'd probably be the same way i mean just out of boredom i would assume
35:32
yeah honestly or it could be that because it's so slow you can get away with being really dysfunctional and
35:38
still get your job done yeah i used to like night shift jobs
35:44
for a time nobody's there to get mad oh those are the best kind of jobs
35:51
like like a night watchman or something so yeah yeah so this fort as i mentioned
35:57
before there's only eight people in the whole place and boyd is number three in command like right off the bat
36:04
he may or may not be captain i forget he's either lieutenant or captain i i think he was promoted when he got
36:10
sent but i don't know because i feel like there's a part later in the movie where they do call him
36:16
captain but they don't establish it i guess they don't care so maybe i shouldn't care
36:22
i no i think they say something about that during the dinner but my mind kind of uh
36:29
as a self-defense mechanism mostly blanked out that same so they start eating there's a scene
36:35
where they have a dinner together they have toddler say grace and it's great because he puts his head down and he
36:41
folds his hands and he speaks so reverently like right to the table's top
36:46
and and then everyone just starts eating before he's even half done you establish right off the bat that the
36:53
private toppler is very earnest and very ignored yeah nobody respects him
37:00
uh rightly so again he seems like he's yeah i mean this goes back to that issue of who would be happy being trapped in a little
37:07
fort on a mountain pass and i suppose being a dim-witted
37:12
creature i gotta stop calling him that but i mean that's essentially the character you know just being
37:17
a little a little slow but very earnest very honest you know and very sweet i guess
37:25
yeah he does well so i mean yeah he seems to spend most of his time
37:32
composing music but everyone hates him for doing that too
37:38
i but i gotta admit that seems like a really advanced thing to do heidi she used to
37:44
play the flute in the room next to me and she would play the same thing over and over again every single day
37:52
well that sounds great and yeah no it sucks uh i i think certain instruments do better
37:57
but you know flutes are very shrill so it just it went right through the wall in a way that was not fun not fun for me
38:04
no uh he got that right i had a a neighbor
38:09
uh back knows uh still nedmans who would uh play the drums and you would always do the same
38:16
so it wasn't even like a song it was just like the same like set of notes over and over and over
38:21
again oh god for for years and he like never
38:27
seemed to expand beyond that or noticeably improve
38:35
it just kind of seemed like it was like a like almost like it was like a ritual
38:40
like like if it was like upset or something you go like do that on the drums i think it was very weird yeah
38:46
well far be it for me to besmirch a man whose hobby but i will best merger man this zombie
38:54
i yeah okay again they go back to the scene where
39:00
guy pierce you know lieutenant or possibly captain boyd oh i think at that point he's still lieutenant because you
39:06
know he hasn't been promoted yet anyway he's under a pile of bodies in a corpse cart
39:11
and blood is just pouring all over his face and the there's a internal exposition
39:17
from a scene you never see where some interviewer is asking him questions just so that he can be able to
39:23
answer them for the audience oh what you just played dead and he's like yeah i did that
39:28
well then what happened i got up and i pointed a gun and i and i i took over the base i found out afterwards that this was an
39:35
added scene the the exposition and i think oh yeah definitely it was it was on the assumption that people would
39:41
be too dumb to pick up on the previous scene you know that was essentially the same thing
39:48
i don't i don't i i don't know it's not as egregious to me as for instance the the blade runner
39:53
you know the one with the the noir uh voiceover by harrison ford oh
39:59
i actually kind of like that one though oh i hate it he's just like no no no no no no no he's not make some kind of a
40:04
guttural street like street language
40:10
just in case you were confused yeah uh okay i think you know i think you may
40:18
be onto something i think maybe i just like that that version for that line yeah because
40:24
at the end where it's just like and then i had a happy ending just in case you were thinking this might be ambiguous
40:31
she lived to be real old and we were happy the real blade runners are the uh the
40:38
friends we made along the way the treasure is in our hearts everybody
40:45
i was gonna make a short round joke but i couldn't think of it in time oh yes
40:51
it's not what short round anyway so one way or another guy pierce you know
40:58
lieutenant boyd he's got blood pouring over his face he gets a weird look
41:04
in the exposition dump he says that something changed in him and uh and he kind of gets up sort of
41:10
feral grabs a pistol and just points it at two or three guys and they just instantly surrender
41:16
yeah i mean i don't remember but i'm pretty sure they're all armed i wonder if they just didn't have a lot of
41:22
uh will to fight or maybe they were just caught up i don't know
41:28
yeah i mean like you see a lot of people dying but it could be that they were like
41:33
suffering a lot of casualties themselves you know yeah but this is his great war hero thing is that he pulled himself out
41:39
of a corpse cart and then he pointed a gun at two guys that means better than anything i've
41:45
done no it's fine and i know i don't yeah i don't mean that it wasn't an achievement i was just thinking in movie
41:50
terms it would have been a great moment to just have him you know you could see him shooting people in the back and doing cool stuff
41:56
uh but he you know like maybe he could have opened a gate let people in you know that kind of a thing
42:02
yeah but i don't think you're supposed to like think what he did is very heroic yeah you are supposed to think yeah yeah
42:08
i guess that's you're supposed to come away with the conclusion that he was kind of counter blade for doing that
42:13
he's a skated by just enough you know because they gave him a position of strategic importance to the war
42:19
effort i guess and so they're like all right fine you get a medal now just go away and never come back
42:26
and uh and that's basically all you need to know about the character because they don't care to tell you much more after that no you know every character is
42:33
fairly simple in that regard i mean in in a in a way it's just a very simple film
42:39
but in a good way oh yeah yeah i i think that the movie would be worse
42:44
off if you complicated it too much yeah david arquette who plays cleves him and
42:51
martha have to go do a grocery trip and they give him a list and lieutenant hart makes him read the list
42:58
in front of him like he's a child just to make sure he he can read and understand the words on the page
43:04
into the salt bacon coffee and then he tells him to not smoke any
43:10
of the local weed and to not do anything with the local women which is pretty great because then marth
43:16
like from behind just like no women as if you know they really like put the point home like listen man this is
43:22
getting out of control you have to stop i mean i i guess the scene is just there
43:30
so they could be gone for three days yeah and thank god because a lot of terrible stuff happens in those three
43:35
days yeah they really lucked out it's a very time constrained movie
43:40
things happen over the course of i think maybe two weeks tops yeah that sounds about right
43:47
it could be a little longer but it's something like that so pearson and uh and lieutenant
43:53
share a drink that they stole from a passed out major knox and heart implores
43:58
hoffler to stop playing a hymn on a whatever that instrument is i think it's an organ
44:04
like could you could you get your inspiration someplace else
44:10
yeah that's a great line also okay i've got to say if i was
44:15
a like an alcoholic out in the middle of nowhere i absolutely would notice if any of my
44:23
booze was taken oh they mentioned this yeah uh hart says uh that major knox has
44:29
some really good bourbon and and uh and boyd says well won't he no won't he be mad my heart says yeah probably
44:35
yeah yeah maybe like i don't know maybe they they're almost looking forward to the argument i mean things
44:41
could be so boring that you're just like i'm gonna start a little trouble just to have a fun little morning you
44:48
know uh that's horrible where the hell is my booze
44:55
while they're sharing their drinks lieutenant hart says something ominous a bit of foreshadowing i think it's uh
45:01
escape might have you end up someplace worse and uh and then immediately lieutenant
45:07
boyd sees a weird figure out the window oh you know i will say as an aside heart
45:14
gets some of the best lines in this movie yeah he got some good lines
45:19
he's the only one that really gets to say a lot because all the other characters are very involved in their own business and hart is sort of a third
45:25
wheel bookish guy so he just gets to kind of be thoughtful about stuff hmm up until he
45:33
well up until unfortunate things happen to him uh yes they spot a strange man out the window
45:39
they they go out to see who it is outside of the palisade wall and they find a man dying of exposure
45:45
this is a robert carlisle and the movie improves immensely from here on out oh absolutely he's oh god
45:53
the best thing about this whole movie yes every time every time he's on screen
45:59
i'm loving it or if he's not it's like please get back to uh kelvin oh i wouldn't go that far but i mean well i
46:05
think all the directors are good but yeah it really is the carlisle show here
46:11
yeah it's just like you want to see more of them absolutely so they they pour warm water all over
46:16
him in a tub and uh and they lay him by the fire and toffler eagerly
46:21
prays over him eventually he awakes and toffler is so
46:28
excited he goes to awaken major knox to tell him the good news and it's such a funny scene just because of how
46:34
buffoonish they play knox where i i have to say that tuffler you
46:40
know he he actually is played in a very like quietly enthusiastic way i like i i
46:48
really do like i've already forgotten the guy's name i like to i like that fellow's performance major up him or whatever he
46:54
was no he's private up and he didn't do anything and saving private ryan except for not help people
47:00
the actor of them is great and uh so he tries to quietly uh wake up knocks and then finally he's just like
47:06
wake up and knox is just like whoa
47:11
this does like this wide-eyed gaze you know like whoa like it it looks like the kind of face you would make in a in a scooby-doo kids
47:19
movie yeah and and then toddler is just like well he's he's awake he have to we can talk
47:27
to the man he's like oh whatever and he just rolls over and falls back asleep i
47:32
i mean from his perspective i would even like give a [ __ ] i would explain it as
47:37
being you know because of how hungover he is but that's not a hungover face he makes
47:42
you know he seems very alert at least to me because because i think a good hangover face is just like an extreme headache so
47:49
you're just like yeah like a giant rocks on your head and you're trying to lift it you know
47:55
despite it just like oh my god yeah so i i don't know that he plays it correctly but he does play it funnier as
48:02
a result you know just like whoa it it really sets up for the movie i
48:08
think yeah i suppose it does i mean almost all the characters have a really silly moment
48:14
in fact i'm trying i'm struggling to think of anyone who doesn't i think i guess lieutenant hart plays it pretty cool for most of it
48:22
but everyone else does says or does something silly yeah that's true
48:29
so the the man robert carlisle he introduces himself as f w calhoun
48:37
a servant of god uh also spelled in an unusual way yeah
48:42
it's got a g in there and it was very annoying because i don't know if you pronounce it or not uh i don't think so
48:49
but i i don't know it's no yeah also i think it's it like it's q
48:54
is it a q oh maybe it is i thought it was a g so maybe it's like welsh or something because i know they have a lot of
49:00
strange cues and stuff yeah i'm not sure yeah i just i just noticed that
49:07
yeah when i was a kid i used to read those ulster hero stories yeah like and there was a hero i loved called
49:14
well i thought he was called kuch elaine and then later on i found out you found out it's kahulin
49:20
where like you don't pronounce a whole bunch of the letters in there yeah because it's yeah well i don't
49:25
remember exactly how you spell it it's like c u c h u l a i n n you know so
49:33
yeah yeah but no it's kahulin not not any of those c's or any of that
49:39
yeah but whatever so yeah i assume it's yeah i assume it's welsh or irish or whatever
49:46
there's someone getting really mad at us listening to this right now no i don't blame him
49:53
yeah you should probably be upset so so calhoun has a crucifix wrapped around his hands
49:58
i wonder if that makes him catholic or not i actually did find out a lot of catholics like to migrate because they
50:04
needed a freedom to to religion i didn't realize that was a big issue it
50:11
just seems like everybody's a jerk wherever your headquarters is so even though catholics had you know the
50:17
uh we call the the main control in europe the ones in america kind of had a hard time and so they had to spread out
50:24
a bit i spent some time in nebraska and there was a big catholic population in the
50:31
city but there was almost no catholics in the entire rest of the state
50:38
it's like it's like they they ghettoize them like you will live here
50:43
well they probably can't but yeah i know uh i'm not sure if this extends to like the
50:50
general population but at least with like um presidents there was like genuine
50:56
concern over like dual loyalties oh yeah with john yeah where people were like can we trust
51:03
the catholic in office because or are they gonna have loyalty to the vatican over the united states yeah
51:10
which is weird and interesting thing to think about yeah
51:16
okay so calhoun explains that he had no food for three months but he still had things to eat
51:23
so right off the bat i almost wish i could show this movie to someone who had no idea what was going to happen
51:30
just to have it like dawn on their face he's like oh no
51:36
yeah because they kind of tiptoe around it at first of course so he lost 30 pounds this part as i
51:42
mentioned earlier is very similar to the story the real life story of alfred packer where he was the only survivor he
51:48
went back into civilization packer you know in the real story he was spending money with multiple wallets
51:57
so right off the bat everyone's like okay this is weird and then uh people who broke off from
52:02
his expedition you know at earlier moments they came back you know they all survived because they weren't with him and they're like hey i
52:09
recognize that knife uh that's not your knife and he's like oh uh that guy left it in a tree um i just
52:16
took it because he abandoned it and i and there was like three instances
52:21
of that there was other personal objects that he had he's like hey that's not yours and he's like uh she gave it to me
52:27
okay so he just seems like a bad cannibal like
52:32
you gotta like use your head man you gotta cover your tracks yeah
52:38
i feel like i could be a better candle than that guy right before he got into town and i believe it's breckenridge
52:43
colorado he left what remained of the remains he just threw him away
52:49
and he didn't do that right either because a bunch of native americans found it and brought it into town they're like there was a bunch of human
52:55
flesh just out in the bush i really
53:01
like the idea that that's how they framed it it's a i hope it was done in a more serious way
53:09
you just like jumping at their feet well we found look at all this this is crazy right
53:14
yeah oh my god look what they did in that guy's face
53:22
you white people are crazy god makes me want to throw up
53:29
so he tells them i i suppose i owe you gentlemen a story and a story he does tell
53:39
so he's in a little a little wagon train of only six people which is basically that would basically
53:44
be like one small family you know for instance the donner party i think there was 87 of them and that was just a
53:51
little splinter group there was hundreds of people going down the oregon trail yeah i did notice the uh
53:58
the size of their group was just strangely small i i mean i wrote down their names but they don't
54:04
factor into this very much there's a mr mccready and wife i hope they're they're naming them after the mccready from the
54:11
thing but i don't have proof of that so yeah mister i got to say probably not
54:17
yeah probably not mr mccready and wife mr janos uh a man named johnson
54:23
whoever the storyteller is it's you know honestly it's not clear who calhoun is but it seems to be calhoun and someone
54:30
named colonel ives but i looked it up later well okay i don't i guess i shouldn't reveal yet but
54:37
there's some confusion about who is who by the end of it and they they remain that confusion in
54:43
the uh imdb casting so i it's still a little mysterious for me i guess
54:49
yeah but they start playing a happy banjo song uh as their head oh yeah
54:55
i have a note from right i love it it's so great
55:01
you know as if it's going to be like this great story like out on the open range
55:09
we were having a grand old time but then the snow came in and we got snowed in
55:17
pam it's wonderful
55:22
this this movie is such a weird soundtrack yeah no it's it's crazy i found out
55:29
um i wrote down the names of the people who did it it's um it was damon albarn and michael nyman but there's confusion
55:35
about who did what and they fight about it so i'm not gonna say who did what i'm not gonna bother but
55:42
one of them had a band made up of people who don't play instruments so they they learned just
55:48
enough to play a plunky tune and uh and i think that almost helps the the songs because it's got a weird
55:55
roughness to it you know yeah that's really interesting like all right just pluck this uh
56:02
yeah like that just do it like that just just keep doing that it kind of makes sense when you think about it you know
56:09
yeah yeah because there's lots of crazy string music in this there's actually a weird mix of modern and
56:15
frontiers-y music a nice like prestige of uh period stuff or semi-period and then
56:22
just you know late 90s uh cynthia nonsense yeah like boyd has a that like theme
56:30
with like the like it starts out with that weird serve like
56:36
you know it's like it does a really good job of being this like intrepid like
56:41
we're going on an adventurous song but it's like it's really like but like this is kind of dark too
56:46
yeah well that's the interesting thing about it it's like the songs are enthusiastic but they're also sort of a
56:52
blank slate so when you attach them to unconnected scenes they become
56:57
flavored by it yeah yeah and it's just off tune enough that it's really ominous
57:04
like it works really well for a movie like this so anyway
57:10
calhoun says uh colonel ives was a detestable man and a disastrous guide
57:16
because he suggests a new shorter route through the nevada sierra nevada mountain range
57:22
and it was actually a longer and impossible to travel this is almost exactly what happened to
57:28
the donner party when they did the hastings cut off they the man mr hastings he's a real
57:35
person he was selling it like it was a brochure they were like go this way it'll be faster it goes directly to
57:41
california you don't got to go up to oregon and then down again you can just go straight there
57:46
but they didn't ever test it with uh with wagons so there was rocks in the way and tree
57:53
stumps and it took them days to go a mile we're not dating they went about a mile a day
57:58
when they should have been going seven or eight miles a day at least so they lost in a month and everybody
58:04
was exhausted and miserable by the time they they hadn't even gotten to the rocky mountains yet so what they did was
58:10
they had to go through a horrible bit you know of hastings cut off and then they had to cross
58:16
multiple salt flats and then they hit the rocky mountains
58:23
and if you've never been to america or seen a map the rocky mountains is almost half of
58:28
the continental u.s it's that big it's gigantic if you ever see one of those 3d maps i
58:34
love those because then you can see you get a sense of the scale of it because the rocky mountains yeah brings up like
58:39
the the western half of the us it's like a big i know like like a big scab
58:47
or scales you know so this is a similar story ives is a
58:53
jerk it makes them go a place they can't really go they get sheltered in a cave uh i don't know about you but i always
58:58
imagined that the donner party was sheltered in a cave like this something about it it just seems like
59:04
where a horrible thing would happen right it seems like a good place to uh to eat
59:10
people i was just thinking that because the i looked it up the donner party actually
59:15
they were in cabins there was two cabins that they were in up in a place called truckee lake
59:21
although later it was changed to donner lake for historical reasons
59:26
there weren't even doors on the cabins it was just like a weird rude hut
59:33
and the the roof didn't work so they had to put ox height over the roof so that the rain wouldn't get in
59:38
and then they got covered by a historic amount of snow that came about a month early and they were trapped there for
59:45
quite a long time and eventually they got so hungry that they had to eat the roof of one of the
59:52
huts so then everybody from the two cabins had to go into one cabin
59:57
and then the roof of that cabin because it was made of wet oxide started to rot
1:00:03
so by the time people went to save them they just found a snowed in hole in the
1:00:09
ground because the snow was so deep that you had to dig to get to the cabin
1:00:14
so they had to like climb down a weird pit of snow and then go into just a hole of
1:00:21
darkness and filth that just smelled like a gigantic dead animal
1:00:27
good lord so long story short the real story is almost worse than what is
1:00:32
depicted here like the cave in this is relatively clean and nice yeah it's a classic hollywood cave
1:00:41
i mean it's dusty and stuff there's one horrible room you know which we'll get to but generally speaking it's not true
1:00:48
yeah the bad room calhoun is clutching a crucifix as he
1:00:53
tells the story he says that they ate the oxen and then their horses
1:00:58
and then he ate his own dog and and that got them through the first month
1:01:04
and then they ate their belts and then their shoes and then roots
1:01:10
see i feel like at least part of this is this fault of uh poor rationing
1:01:17
well possibly i mean i mean oxen are pretty big
1:01:22
like i feel like you could like if you're willing to go a few days of like being hungry like you could
1:01:28
probably spread that out over a month with like six people yeah again that's the thing the the logistics don't work
1:01:34
out if you do the math i mean the thing with the donner party is that it was 80 almost 90 people when it started
1:01:41
and by the end of it only 47 made it out or something around there so you know it was pretty bad but what i
1:01:48
mean is the consumption rate was pretty high you could go through a an oxen pretty quick
1:01:55
and once at one point somebody's oxen dies and i think it was someone in the reed family
1:02:01
they sold a dead oxen to someone for like dollars which was a ridiculous amount of
1:02:07
money at the time well it was the price of two living oxen
1:02:13
i don't know if you ever saw that twilight zone episode where they were carrying gold like across the desert
1:02:18
uh no i haven't well it's a great one just well the ending is really stupid but everything up until the ending is
1:02:25
great because it's sort of like the treasure of the sierra madre where the the gold bricks are really heavy and they're
1:02:31
trying to cross a desert with them after they came out of i don't know what it was a time capsule or something
1:02:37
and as they're going only one of them has water and the other one doesn't and so the guy just pleads
1:02:44
with us like please just let me drink some of the water he's like all right i'll let you drink some of this water for a gold brick
1:02:52
he's like you bastard and by the end of it he yeah he gets all of the gold bricks and the other guy
1:02:59
gets so mad that he just kills him and takes them all and then i think he dies right when he's about to get to
1:03:05
civilization and they have the the one of those corny endings where people go to look at their corpses
1:03:11
you know clutching the gold and they're like oh isn't that weird they have all these worthless gold bricks here don't
1:03:16
they know we can just make those with machines now
1:03:22
[Music] i like the twilight zone but sometimes they can't help themselves they had to crank out a lot of episodes
1:03:28
i'm not going to blame them for not every single one being gold you know yeah
1:03:34
yeah you can go you got your joke
1:03:40
yes i did okay so as uh calhoun is you know
1:03:45
getting to this more drastic and unhappy part of the story george starts giving him the side eye
1:03:53
so jor jones died first a man we never really knew he died of malnourishment
1:03:59
and while calhoun was away they started cooking his legs do you remember the line he says in it
1:04:06
uh no i don't it was well it's just a it's a very simple line i was just thinking it was more his uh robert
1:04:13
carlisle's delivery is just so good but he said um no sure
1:04:18
when i when i entered this the smell of meat cooking
1:04:23
i thank the lord i think oh yeah yeah and everyone just kind of shudders like
1:04:29
oh god and then he says the meat only lasted a week
1:04:35
uh i wrote uh why so short so it gets back to that like really
1:04:40
i mean a human man you know 100 and something pounds i mean you're not going to eat all of them but
1:04:46
i don't want to go into the logistics of cannibalism too much but i just feel like you go a little further than that you know
1:04:52
well yeah i mean it feels like they're like having like full meals you know you gotta you gotta scale back
1:04:59
you see in the oregon trail game you could ration out things and you know you didn't have to give people full meals
1:05:05
right so they made versions of oregon trail oh there was
1:05:12
literally a dozen people dozens of versions did any of them uh
1:05:17
why you do uh cannibalize people hmm no i i think
1:05:23
in some versions uh they did let you do something similar to the hastings cut off and it is always a mistake
1:05:32
it's very similar i i was actually thinking of that where they actually do let you cut across uh
1:05:37
utah and if you didn't know anything about the map of the u.s you might not realize that there's like a giant dusty desert
1:05:44
down there so it's like oh maybe i shouldn't bring all my ox in there because there won't be any water
1:05:52
yeah just going through dusty horribleness they were saying in the uh the donner party thing that there was a rainfall
1:05:59
while they were in the salt flats and it made the salt becomes like a gooey gummy substance that would
1:06:06
the hubs of their wagon wheels would sink into it oh god yeah just becomes like a swamp of
1:06:12
sadness so yeah robert carlisle says that they uh you know they start having a
1:06:18
supernatural hunger it became uh more severe more savage
1:06:25
um i will give them lots of credit for not saying
1:06:30
more ravenous did you feel ravenous
1:06:37
i did indeed feel ravenous and i keep looking directly at the
1:06:43
camera down the barrel uh that reminds me of uh i like that there's
1:06:50
this twitter account i like that really just like make up lines like that where they say the name of the movie
1:06:56
or it's like where it's like i've become iron man too of course
1:07:02
yeah it's always horrible when they actually do that for instance
1:07:07
in death stalker 2 when they say and death stalker 2 no that's actually like the best use of
1:07:14
that but like say what you will about the rest of the movie that opening
1:07:20
is a riot i love it then they kill janus or janos and then they kill mccready
1:07:28
and then that leaves ives mccready's wife and him and then he left i guess
1:07:35
i don't know if any of this story is true so i don't know if the details are even that important to be honest
1:07:41
yeah i i get the feeling they were pretty much all made up
1:07:46
i mean i don't know for sure but it just seems as though he was gonna say whatever he needed to uh going back to
1:07:52
the alfred packer guy you know the real guy who ate everybody in colorado uh he just made up i think there was at
1:07:58
least three stories he kept changing his story every time he told somebody like you do like you do
1:08:05
and he had the bad logistics in his story this is real life that's the funny thing he didn't work it out so he was
1:08:11
just like oh yeah we had to kill this guy and then like two or three days later we got really hungry so we had to
1:08:16
kill someone else you can go like a day or two without food and be fine you know like it kind of sucks but i mean it's not like i have
1:08:23
to kill someone levels of hungry you know yeah like like like remember that south
1:08:29
park episode where they had to eat a bunch of people he's like what are you diabetic
1:08:35
i'm hungry again oh so i will say
1:08:40
i don't know how you feel about it but like because that story is so full of lies
1:08:45
i do think that he really was colonel lives well yes
1:08:50
that's what i was saying before i mean yeah spoiler alert i guess for this one but yeah he's either colonel ives or he's calhoun
1:08:57
or he's neither or he's both i don't i don't know i yeah i i've gotta
1:09:03
think that he's ives yeah i mean there's in the in the uh casting on imdb they list him as calhoun
1:09:11
ives so i i don't know it could be
1:09:17
hart is a nice man and so when he hears the story and that there's a woman and a man left in the cave
1:09:23
he immediately decides to you know dispatch almost everybody to go check it out it's three or four days march
1:09:31
and then right before he leaves george just whips out a strange parchments or or something or is it a map
1:09:38
yeah oh yeah he's like hey i have a a native american legend to tell you all
1:09:44
of this is the wendigo it makes you real hungry i mean that's
1:09:50
essentially it yeah i don't know if this is a localized curse or if this is something worldwide
1:09:56
because i feel like uh to me it feels like a localized thing you know like maybe there's something
1:10:01
about this area where if you do a bit of cannibalism it creates an ever insatiable hunger and an increase
1:10:09
in strength yeah i'm not sure yeah
1:10:14
it's it they never really explain it i mean it could be that maybe they're living in a fictionalized world where
1:10:21
anyone anywhere can do some cannibalism and you know become like this but
1:10:26
i don't know yeah i mean that doesn't seem to be how that works in uh in real life
1:10:33
not that we've seen i actually did look up various instances of cannibalism history
1:10:39
i'm glad i didn't forget them in my haste to get all this cobble together for this podcast uh but they they have a notion in the
1:10:47
sailing tradition they call it the custom of the sea and there's a bunch of old rules but one
1:10:53
of them is if you're shipwrecked people need to draw lots in order to decide who will be killed so that the
1:10:59
rest can eat them yeah and it actually and there's several recorded instances of this happening
1:11:06
in semi-recent times i mean up until around this period in history like 92
1:11:13
and what making a joke 92. oh no i don't think it got much past around
1:11:19
the victorian era because there was a british case where they actually got rid of it there was three men who were
1:11:24
stranded on a boat i think like a lifeboat and well they have more than one story if i
1:11:30
remember correctly and it's possible i don't but i believe the story is that they were going to draw lots
1:11:37
and kill whoever you know whoever got the bad lot but actually what they had done was they
1:11:43
were they had both the other two men had just decided to kill the smaller weaker one
1:11:52
so it's not i mean i mean i could see it going either way but to me i feel like they said to other people like yeah we
1:11:58
did the lots but but in reality they're like well listen this is the easiest way to do this
1:12:03
what's he gonna do with his feeble little man hands
1:12:09
i mean yeah like i feel like that probably happened more often than people would
1:12:15
like to admit you know what i'm sorry to the this to the family of these people that you maybe the great great great
1:12:21
grandchildren of this man who was eaten there was a male man at one point who died a terrible death
1:12:28
that's true also i feel like they probably have an estate of some kind
1:12:33
yeah we'll be hearing from them presently
1:12:39
so yeah they had to well what was that i was gonna say they they had to um
1:12:45
change the uh have you ever seen the show the terror i did and i was gonna bring it up but i forgot all about it
1:12:50
yes it does another one of those failed experiments to get to california uh see they were trying to go around canada
1:12:57
you know the northwest passage and uh they did a little boo-boo because they didn't realize that there's no way out
1:13:03
through there at least i don't think there is and so then they just started walking on foot and then they ran out of everything
1:13:10
and then they ate each other and some eskimos saw it so we actually have eyewitnesses but at the time
1:13:15
the brits didn't believe eskimos or inuit you know whatever tribe it was
1:13:21
and so you know they chose not to believe that and then there was those interesting legends afterwards
1:13:26
yeah they were also uh attacked by a uh polar bear spirit monster a polar bear
1:13:32
with kind of a man's face yeah yeah well that's that's what i'm getting at i think that's one of those
1:13:37
things where something so terrible happened and they were so sure that they would you know that they were well outfitted and that they could make
1:13:44
it through canada that they just couldn't believe that they screwed up so badly
1:13:50
that they had to just you know trick across canada to get help and just died
1:13:56
eating each other yeah that does seem a bit humiliating it's a ghastly terrible fate for any man
1:14:03
let alone a proud party of explorers yeah i believe they screwed up because
1:14:08
there was there was a lead poisoning issue i think the cans were poorly sealed or it was something like that
1:14:15
yeah i think it was like lead poisoning yeah um so bad times
1:14:21
yeah yeah it was a uh we were talking about the window go legends
1:14:27
um no no but i brought up terror for the for a reason we have another please pray tell no
1:14:34
no i can't i can't remember it i bet i goddamn it um
1:14:40
all right i lost that spot never mind carry on so i just wrote for this scene
1:14:46
where did this big weird picture come from i mean does this this guy george
1:14:52
is he just keeps his rolled up in his teepee i think they both have martha and him have a
1:14:58
a little teepee on the side of the fort so is that just sitting there all the time he's like i hate this legend but i
1:15:05
keep it so that i can show others if need be uh i mean if you thought that
1:15:12
there was like a cannibal spirit that could like turn people mad wouldn't you uh want people to know well i guess i just
1:15:19
i just thought it was weird to have a visual cue i mean it's great for the movie i mean i love seeing a weird
1:15:24
mythological picture of a of a blood-drinking looking cannibal monster
1:15:31
yeah oh okay i also i do like the uh way they uh
1:15:37
tie it into uh christianity with the whole like body of christ thing oh i knew they were gonna do that
1:15:45
i don't know lieutenant hart was just was just like do people still do this do they still
1:15:51
believe this and uh and george is just like uh well he whispers something in heart's ear and then uh heart translates from
1:15:59
you know whatever it is is it navajo i'm not sure what the language is but he says oh the white man eats the body of
1:16:04
jesus every sunday ah that's funny
1:16:10
yeah well you know honestly it is kind of funny yes well because transubstantiation uh
1:16:16
is bizarre even to people who believe it but to people who don't it's like extra bizarre
1:16:23
like does jesus give you powers when you eat him no it's just it makes me feel closer to him
1:16:31
i gone down gone down such a rabbit hole i was looking up what tribe they were and
1:16:37
i was like all right what are the uh you know the the tribes of uh
1:16:43
the sierra nevada and just there are so many oh no yeah there's too much it's like no yeah that's i'm
1:16:51
yeah i can't well i mean this is interesting but like
1:16:56
yeah i'm not yeah there's no way and it's such a mess
1:17:01
um i was looking briefly up the expedition of lewis and clark and when they went back they brought a mandan
1:17:07
indian chief with them they were a plains people that were mostly wiped out by sickness later on it was a terrible
1:17:13
story but that's a whole other thing so the the chief went to visit the great king in in washington uh because
1:17:21
i don't i actually thought that was interesting where he didn't really know anything about how western civilization worked or you know what americans were
1:17:27
but he's like you guys seem pretty cool i want to go check out your whole thing
1:17:32
and he did he went all the way there and then he he wanted to go back and it was so hard to
1:17:39
get him back it took multiple trips failed expeditions just to get him back
1:17:44
to his tribe because of all of the other tribes around you know they hate that guy or or
1:17:51
just aren't welcoming you know yeah
1:17:56
i was gonna say that uh they can make a movie off then called coming to america
1:18:01
coming back to america just go home mr mandan
1:18:09
honestly that that could be like an interesting movie yeah
1:18:15
maybe that's why it stood out to me it was just how bizarre that is we'd like to go home now we're not sure
1:18:22
that you can we're not actually positive how lewis and clark did it
1:18:30
okay so george calhoun boyd colonel hart
1:18:35
is a colonel heart or his lieutenant heart i wanted to get mixed up oh anyway heart toffler and reich all head out to find
1:18:42
the the survivors if there are any although hart notes that major knox had
1:18:48
too much bourbon in his bourbon so he would not be going uh very convenient how they keep him out of most of the
1:18:54
movie like that okay so for him from here on out i just realized i'm from here on out i wrote it
1:18:59
as colonel hart so since the beginning he was colonel hart and he shall continue to be so
1:19:07
uh yes i i made a note about him colonel hart keeps dropping important stuff stumbling around why did he come along
1:19:16
and he seems secretly he's old and he's feeble or at least the way they they portray him in the film he drops his hat
1:19:22
twice and calhoun picks it up twice his cr cardo kiddle heart you drop this
1:19:28
i think it's supposed to show that he's being nice but it also just shows the weird kind of earnest
1:19:33
almost comedic stance does the movie seems to be taking on all this it's just the bizarreness of
1:19:38
it yeah i mean i do also think that he was
1:19:45
or calhoun was ingratiating himself with uh with heart and there's very little time
1:19:51
for character development but that might very well be the case yeah i i feel like i feel like he's a long
1:19:57
game kind of guy so almost instantly i mean it was probably a long trip but you know they just show heart and the rest stumbling
1:20:04
around in a river and then almost instantly they're up in high mountains
1:20:10
and it looks like the the backdrop for the film uh alive uh speaking of which alive is my least
1:20:16
favorite cannibal film if we have one of those um
1:20:22
are at least of the well-made cannibal movies i'll put it that way yeah it was yeah i was gonna say i feel like there's
1:20:27
like uh there's a lot of terrible exploitation cannibal movies yeah yeah there's a whole sub-genre of european
1:20:33
movies that uh yeah i i think it's what i hate about alive is how self-righteous it is
1:20:42
it makes it seem like they had no choice i mean they were up there for a really long time and they kept not saving
1:20:48
themselves and the way that they got down was that two of them just left they climbed down
1:20:53
the mountain like well you guys could have just done that the whole again i don't want to insult the real
1:20:59
uruguayans okay as portrayed in the movie maybe if
1:21:05
i narrow it to that you know the way it's portrayed it just seems so wrong i don't know they didn't do a good
1:21:11
job of showing why they couldn't go down the mountain so the whole time i was watching i was like just leave just go
1:21:17
down the mountain no i mean i think it's also fair to say that they were selfish cowards
1:21:25
yeah listen no no we cannot do that those are real people they're real people who are still
1:21:30
probably like well i don't know when did it happen like the 60s or 70s yeah hey come at me
1:21:37
river phoenix was in that movie but he's dead so we can insult him um sure yeah
1:21:44
no we're from no people would be more upset about that he was the last crusade
1:21:51
remember that scene where all of the things that make harrison ford who he is were all established it was important
1:22:00
man i love a well-made movie like that no i love that movie but yeah no no it
1:22:05
is just a checklist you're like uh afraid of snakes um fights a line with a whip
1:22:11
gets a hat from a dude literally his most important day yeah
1:22:17
he's like i was so unfocused before this day and then all of it came together
1:22:26
okay so wait where the hell are we oh yeah they so they're up in the mountains
1:22:31
lieutenant boyd or maybe captain boyd whatever boyd asks calhoun what it was
1:22:36
like after he ate the flesh you know he said uh did you feel a change a physical
1:22:41
change this is the first scene where you see calhoun and those crazy snow goggles and
1:22:47
i'm just like oh these are awesome oh yeah oh yeah i had those written down [Music]
1:22:53
yeah calhoun steampunk goggles they're great well that's something that keeps coming up in the terrible stories of
1:22:59
cannibalism from real life that there are two big things that really ruin you
1:23:04
not having snowshoes and not having goggles because people would get snow blind and
1:23:10
they wouldn't be able to walk around on top of the snow and the snow was too deep
1:23:16
at the donner parties uh in the the valley where they were snowed in
1:23:21
they cut trees and after the snow melted it looked really bizarre because of how high the
1:23:26
snow was it was almost it was taller than a man uh where they cut so like you can get a sense of just how
1:23:32
much snow was piled all over them yeah and so you know it's the only way you're
1:23:38
going to get through there is if you have snowshoes and to their credit some of them did
1:23:44
make some out of uh ox height and wood but then so they call it the the group
1:23:50
of the forlorn hope uh they ran out of food and got lost and then they had to eat the ox hide from
1:23:56
the snowshoes
1:24:02
that's very unfortunate yeah so anyway uh these people much better
1:24:09
prepared they have this you can actually see the snow shoes on their backs and uh at least calhoun has snow goggles i
1:24:14
don't i don't know about everyone else though okay i don't know what this says about my priorities but like i feel like they
1:24:21
need like the person before the snow shoes you need those i was thinking so too i'm just like i
1:24:28
think this this is almost like maybe i should just cut off my own hand first and just keep the snowshoe
1:24:33
yeah yeah that's like i'm sorry the snowshoe was like the actual last resort
1:24:38
yeah all right well i mean i was planning on asking this later but i mean personally for me i don't know if
1:24:45
i could do the whole cannibalism thing i was just thinking of that british guy who was too hurt to go home in time or
1:24:52
like he was slowing down his party and he famously said i'm going for a walk i might be some time i think i'm more of
1:24:58
that kind of a guy you know like i think i'd rather just throw myself off a cliff rather than do
1:25:04
something like that you know see i guess for me the real concern is
1:25:11
am i able to like cook the meat because i mean like i think like i gotta
1:25:17
say i think i could eat a person i'll eat the flesh of a man but it's gonna taste good well no no it's not even taste it's just
1:25:24
like it's it's gross to eat raw meat yeah like i wouldn't i wouldn't even like
1:25:30
eat raw animal beef hmm well i feel like you would
1:25:36
well i mean yeah if i had to i'm just saying like preference preference-wise but also uh
1:25:41
i was gonna say incidentally i guess there is a i should look up a tape of sandwich
1:25:48
called a cannibal sandwich cannibal chances yeah it uses uh raw
1:25:57
like raw beef oh it's a like it's like a regional thing in the in the us
1:26:04
well i know that people eat steak tartare you know where you put a raw egg into some raw beef and then you just mix
1:26:10
it all up yeah no this is yeah this is like it's like a sandwich with like uh
1:26:19
it's just like yeah raw meat and onions very unappealing looking i am a big fan of onions
1:26:26
yeah also i don't like
1:26:31
i know you can like i know you can eat raw meat it's like where would i i don't know
1:26:37
where i would even go to get meat that i could trust eat raw you know sushi places
1:26:44
well but like when i'm saying at least for like the sake of a candle sandwich like i'm not going down to a local grocery store and being like all right
1:26:50
well you know let's take whatever trash they're selling um you would need to choose uh
1:26:57
a single cut hamburger stuff is always a mess where they just throw it all together but if it's yeah it's like a
1:27:03
steak cut you would have to get a better cut of meat i i did spend a short time on a butcher
1:27:09
block this is why i know this dumb thing but if there's less cuts there's less touched surface area you know so
1:27:15
basically they just cut it off of the animal so you got you have your best odds with what's like a nice steak or something
1:27:21
like that yeah i feel i mean yeah like i guess like i feel like if you could like source it from kind of like a higher end
1:27:28
like butcher shop you know then it then i'd be more okay with it yeah
1:27:34
so but uh anyway yeah sorry sandwiches cannibalism cannibal sandwiches uh
1:27:42
so calhoun says that he got a certain virility from having eaten it
1:27:47
and they share like a weird little moment i guess it's almost like boyd is feeling a little better he's like oh you
1:27:53
did a messed up thing too yeah they stopped for a bourbon break yeah i
1:28:00
love that that's what it is they're like yeah we need to have some booze sit down
1:28:06
not that i'm against it uh no but like yeah i i would say i feel like
1:28:12
like drinking during a situation like that would just like make things so much worse it would cheer you up though
1:28:19
i guess they were probably walking for a couple of days they said it was three or four days mission or walk or whatever
1:28:24
yeah it might have just been more of a morale issue so during the bourbon break
1:28:31
toffler finds a bone and he's real excited about it he's he's too excited because then he stumbles and
1:28:37
tumbles down a cliff it hurts himself very badly
1:28:44
and it's great because reich goes down there and you know to save him i guess
1:28:50
and he says oh he's all right and then he just goes in close and he's like are you all right
1:28:57
like i love you he just assumes like well he's he'll probably be fine but he's you know he's really not though because they immediately show him in the
1:29:04
in the next scene and he has a chunk missing from his abdomen i guess he cut it open on the
1:29:09
way down yeah that looks pretty gnarly yeah we'll see
1:29:15
to his credit uh he is not crying the way i would probably be doing he did
1:29:20
whimper a little a little but man i i would not
1:29:26
uh i do not think i would handle it as well well i see i like i i do like the performances in this from all of the
1:29:31
weird little side characters because toffler is wounded at this point and so they start tending his wounds in the
1:29:38
tent and there's this great scene where he at first he's just very quietly asked i would like to have some bourbon
1:29:45
and everyone just ignores him for a minute and then he's just like
1:29:52
yeah i was just like well that's the thing it's so ridiculous but then again he's in a lot of pain so
1:29:59
i can't really blame him oh yeah absolutely right
1:30:05
i know you guys are real into whatever you're doing right now but my whole side is cut open
1:30:11
oh also another uh instance of kind of weird music when he
1:30:17
falls well i didn't make a note of it i don't remember do you remember which which one it was
1:30:22
i don't but i i did write a note on that
1:30:28
um i mean like that's the thing it's like there are just like every now and then little like
1:30:34
scenes or actions so i just play like a little bit of a song and it's like that's really weird yeah there are like these uh asynchronous music stings at
1:30:42
strange moments in a scene yeah and it won't even be the whole scene it'll be like part of a scene
1:30:47
yeah so they go to bed and just right off the bat
1:30:53
calhoun loses it and in the dark they're just fumbling around and toffler wakes up and just starts shrieking
1:31:00
and uh everyone wakes up and you're like what's going on and there's just like a little smudge of blood on on calhoun's
1:31:07
mouth and uh and toddler says he was licking me
1:31:17
oh that's so good yeah it's so creepy and uh and reich goes to kill him immediately he pulls out a big old knife
1:31:23
he's like right and uh it's a shame he didn't do it right then and there because that would have ended the movie
1:31:30
yeah yeah i okay i will say i appreciate his initiative well honestly throughout the movie you know what i'm not like a
1:31:36
very violent man or whatever but in that moment i probably would have been the same i would be like all right
1:31:42
you got to die man yeah look you've already admitted to being cannibal but this is well you're
1:31:48
the only survivor from the suspicious situation you're leading us out in the middle of nowhere
1:31:53
you know you were just sucking on the wound of my friend your toast
1:31:58
boy yeah but heart is nice and says like no no
1:32:05
yeah we'll have him explain so they sent him outside and it's great because even as he's going outside private toddlers
1:32:11
just like sick man outside he's like a simpleton but it's great i
1:32:18
mean i can't really blame him again i can't blame him for this either if you're just like that's that's how you would be if you woke up and somebody was
1:32:25
just like gnawing on your wound yeah like i would flip out
1:32:31
no yeah he he he was if anything he was nicer about it than i would have been maybe so so
1:32:38
yeah calhoun just barely keeps from being basically executed on the spot he just says oh i woke up i was in a
1:32:45
nightmare my lips were on the wound and then he insists that he'd be bound up so
1:32:51
that he can continue the rest of the trip safely because he can't be trusted uh i would say uh i
1:32:58
would not accept that excuse what you know that he woke up in some kind of terror dream and was reliving
1:33:03
his nightmare yeah i feel like that would just like justify my uh my feelings
1:33:10
like if you i mean if you're if you're i'm sorry if you're at that point where you're having like uh
1:33:16
horrible like unconscious like compulsions to eat people
1:33:21
well if i really uh want you hanging around maybe so
1:33:27
but nevertheless being bound up this seems to modify the party modify the party
1:33:33
so they proceed and along the way george whispers wendy paul
1:33:40
he knows what's up oh yeah so they get down to the woods at lower
1:33:45
elevation and uh calhoun starts getting real excited as they approach the cake
1:33:52
once again just real crazy disturbing music starts to kick in
1:33:59
[Music] it's like it's just nuts
1:34:06
yeah i'm not sure what it is that's i think it's a harmonica i'm not positive what instrument it is but it's
1:34:12
like it's real high in shrill yeah it's great it's like an alarm you know just like some something real bad
1:34:18
happen here so he starts flipping out uh calhoun and
1:34:24
so they they kind of just set him aside and ignore him so i suppose it was a successful strategy because they got
1:34:31
everybody did not care about him for a while why they went and you know checked out what happened in the cave
1:34:37
calhoun becomes hysterical boyd and reich venture within their lanterns are huge
1:34:44
yeah i uh i also made a note of that yeah i guess that must be how they were i just
1:34:50
yeah they look neat they're they're like as big as a leg almost like really big lanterns
1:34:56
yeah and george has a bow and arrow and a tomahawk which i just wrote cool
1:35:03
uh they are cool he does very little with them but at least he has them
1:35:09
yeah sometimes that's all that matters uh reich wants to go in because you know he's brave and
1:35:16
awesome heart insists that pierce goes in as well because they need the commanding officer to go check it out i think is
1:35:22
their rationale and then different ominous music starts up it's kind of a an ominous drum beat
1:35:29
as they head into the cave they find a weird pit
1:35:35
reich kind of just elects to lower down on the rope and you know boy's just like well what are you doing it's like would you like to go first sir
1:35:43
like you know what no go ahead okay i know they don't like give reasons for
1:35:50
why everyone was like put out into the middle of nowhere i mean like it like obviously
1:35:57
give boy to racing but like rike seems like he's just got a pretty good head on his shoulders
1:36:03
like why do you see it why is he out here i i got the impression i mean they give very little time for some character
1:36:09
development for some of these characters yeah for reasons we'll soon see but uh for reich i got the sense that right
1:36:16
off the bat he thought that or maybe he just sensed that boyd was a coward
1:36:21
and and it's in this scene too we're just like i know you're not gonna go down this pit so i'm gonna go down it
1:36:27
and so i wonder if maybe he was insubordinate like i could see him maybe like punching a commanding officer or
1:36:32
something like that okay yeah that makes sense i mean i don't know uh it could just be that he's
1:36:38
a local guy or maybe he's you know he's just taking some time off before he does something more important you know they
1:36:44
don't all have to be a mess no but yeah i'm just like
1:36:49
he he like feels like the most i guess like outwardly competent i think i might
1:36:54
have given him a scene just to explain because i would like to know and uh and they don't really get to talk
1:37:00
to him he is probably the most competent and serious character of the whole movie
1:37:05
yes i mean in fact it's like it's like the joke when they introduce him it's like he's such a tough guy yeah he's
1:37:11
real serious so outside the cave while all this is
1:37:16
going on calhoun starts grunting and making weird hand motions
1:37:24
[Laughter] hey
1:37:29
it's great it looks like he's trying to cast a spell it's pretty yeah
1:37:35
it's good crazy i mean like the funny thing is like it's
1:37:42
like it's almost so weird that it like disarms you yeah i i think that's what
1:37:49
he was going for yeah because you know no one questions what
1:37:54
he's doing or why he's doing it after that so in a way it kind of works
1:37:59
yeah it's just like what would you know what would you even expect from that yeah or what what could
1:38:06
you so he's standing right by toppler while he's doing all this and like just staring him dead in the eye and doing
1:38:11
the hand motions tuffler's just getting real weirded out
1:38:17
i suppose you would uh yes understandably
1:38:22
so reich went down into the pit he encounters a skull amongst the rubbish on the floor
1:38:29
and it's it's such a weird skull to me because it has long hair yeah i don't know if you oh notice that
1:38:35
but yeah i i did i also know this the uh guitar roof oh yeah the bones are found
1:38:41
yeah see that's the other thing it's it's some contemporary or contemporaneous music and then it just
1:38:47
kind of goes right to modern stuff whenever it feels like it yeah
1:38:52
yeah so they find the skull with the long hair so i think it means that the face was chewed off but the scalp
1:38:58
was on so it's like a skull with like a skull cap or a scalp
1:39:04
which is just weird and gross yeah and see he does the he does the jump scare thing
1:39:11
where he's looking at the skull and he turns and almost just runs into five drippy gross skeletons hanging upside
1:39:17
down incredibly wet skeletons yeah they're real gooey
1:39:23
yeah yeah and he and you know what to his credit he doesn't freak out
1:39:29
no i like i said he's a competent guy as a cucumber
1:39:35
yeah yeah reich finds five skeletons in the pit including ives which he identifies by a
1:39:41
military outfit sitting by a guinea skeleton well it might be ives i mean that's one
1:39:47
of the ambiguities of the film we don't know who these people are i mean they're missing i think so really think that
1:39:54
kevin decides so well he could be ives and he ate calhoun
1:40:01
and then just put his military outfit in the cave you know put on regular clothes
1:40:06
yeah or something it could be calhoun who later pretends to be ives i i don't know
1:40:13
i well okay i also i feel like he's like pretty skilled with like weapons
1:40:19
oh that's true yes so i mean like i i feel like he displays all of skills that
1:40:26
would indicate that he is like scene combat or at least like has like training you know
1:40:32
yeah so uh reich does the count you know and realizes that everybody is dead
1:40:38
and he just yeah it's a trap and you and he runs out but is it a trap oh that's
1:40:44
uh i mean yeah that's weird cause like i don't know if you could like assume that but that is such a great like tense
1:40:51
moment where it's a great scene yeah yeah where they're like exiting the cave and it's like oh you know something's
1:40:56
going on like you don't know what's going to happen but you know something's happening yeah
1:41:02
i mean even before this it's getting real tense and heart is yelling into the cave you know to
1:41:07
what just get some confirmation from them or have them come back but it's not clear why hart is getting all weirded
1:41:12
out maybe just because he's unhappy to be there he's like i want to go home
1:41:20
i mean it seems pretty miserable yeah but then again i i mean also just like
1:41:25
everything seems miserable going back home would be miserable
1:41:31
like the whole situation sucks all of my states of being are
1:41:37
unfortunate i can either be here or not it makes no difference
1:41:42
well no it's true like the fort sucks going out there sucks like yeah going to town probably sucks i
1:41:50
like that every time they leave the fort they cross all these sad little graves it's like just a reminder that
1:41:56
everything out there is death yeah if we come back you're reminded of it
1:42:02
too you're like yep you just came from death so calhoun starts digging like a crazy
1:42:08
person on the side of the river tuffler's supposed to be watching him i think but he's you know he's weak and
1:42:14
he's not really paying attention and it's weird because in that scene you know they're supposed to go right to the
1:42:21
trap stuff i mean you already saw the people running through the cave to come back out again but they still stopped that scene
1:42:28
and have him get up again and calhoun just goes and makes some more crazy hand motions for a while
1:42:35
and then he goes back and gets the knife i just like that the the moment is interrupted by weirdness you're just
1:42:41
like getting the knife getting the knife wait a minute i need to go make hand motions
1:42:48
this is important everybody i mean
1:42:54
you see see you're joking but he does make noises like that
1:42:59
yeah wonderful crazy acting so yeah he found a knife
1:43:05
that i guess he put there he knew right where it was and uh he runs up and stabs heart and
1:43:10
then it starts playing the the harmonica again [Music]
1:43:16
and uh george is you know he's pretty he's pretty on the spot he's up on a ridge and he throws a tomahawk and so
1:43:22
calhoun just moves hard so he gets hit by it and it's wonderful
1:43:27
i love that that's great in any action film whenever that happens oh absolutely my favorite i think is in
1:43:33
the original for total recall when they just used some random person from the crowd and you just get sprayed with
1:43:39
bullets by everybody and they use them like multiple times
1:43:45
and then they he throws the dead body at the bad guys i guess it'll distract him
1:43:50
anyway
1:43:57
that's all right so anyway heart takes a a tomahawk in the back and a knife in the front he is not in a good
1:44:04
state no gotta say uh seems like you
1:44:10
really suck well he's already really feeble and kind of bloated and he was not really fit for this mission at all
1:44:17
so yeah he's basically done uh so yeah i mean who who is fit for a
1:44:23
tomahawk to the back though maybe rike i don't know yeah
1:44:28
yeah maybe that wouldn't kill him i mean i almost would have liked that kind of a scene where you know he gets
1:44:33
hit in the back and he goes down but then he just starts to get up again and calhoun would just get really mad be like really
1:44:40
are you serious so that does seem like the kind of thing that would like frustrate him more than
1:44:47
scare him yeah so yeah so calhoun steals hart's pistol from out of his pocket
1:44:54
and uh shoots george who does a great fall off of the side of the ridge
1:44:59
oh wonderful the only thing it didn't have was you know the the old yell the wilhelm scream
1:45:07
yeah i can't do it no one can do it except for whoever wilhelm was he was
1:45:12
the only one so calhoun yeah he shoots george and then he's about to shoot topler who's
1:45:18
just standing there like a doofus and he's not doing anything and i i actually had to replay the scene several
1:45:24
times because i thought there was a deleted scene where toppler had his rifle taken away but that's not true
1:45:30
he's holding it the whole time so toffler's watching heart gets stabbed and then toddler's watching george get
1:45:38
shot and then topless watching calhoun slowly pull out the pistol and aim it at him
1:45:43
and [ __ ] it and you know it very cinematically like you're gonna die and then and then he just closes his
1:45:49
eyes like i'm about to get shot i accept this and uh there's a click
1:45:55
calhoun so annoying so annoying and it's wonderful but i was just thinking how
1:46:01
pathetic that was that hart only had one bullet in his gun like you went out into the wilderness
1:46:07
with one bullet in your gun i look that's why for
1:46:13
all the bullying earlier i feel like it's pretty justified like i was waiting maybe it was uh maybe
1:46:19
it was a dud or something i don't know it could be that it was a bad a bad bullet
1:46:25
maybe but then he would just keep clicking i mean if i was that guy like it to see if any of the channels
1:46:31
yeah yeah no sorry you're talking about kevlar yeah no i i feel this
1:46:37
yeah calhoun's pistol was taken from heart so hart went into the wilderness with one bullet
1:46:43
yeah yeah that's very that's very odd i assumed that toffler had more but he has
1:46:49
no combat experience i guess so he's just standing there with the rifle allowing all this to happen
1:46:55
i don't know why but calhoun stops and and drapes uh a cloak or a shirt or
1:47:01
something over hearts dying body he's not even dead yet and and then he he holds up the dagger
1:47:08
in a weird kind of i don't know what he's doing like an imploring motion and he's just like run
1:47:14
and away they go and a fun old tune starts up
1:47:20
like like a store yeah it's like um it's like a song kind of song you know
1:47:31
it was pretty great and so yeah he chases him up the hill and honestly it is a really fun moment
1:47:36
for how gruesome and horrible it is i mean i guess i can't really be mad at
1:47:42
calhoun because of how incompetent these guys were especially toddler
1:47:47
oh yeah four or four toppler because as soon as uh calhoun goes after
1:47:53
him he just drops the rifle i don't know if you saw that i had to keep replaying it until i saw him release it i
1:47:59
i did see that yeah so he he's just holding the rifle with both of his hands and then calhoun runs at him and he
1:48:05
drops it i mean even if you don't want to fire it you can still have it as just a heavy stick you know
1:48:11
you can just hit him with it yeah or at least hold it out in front of you like please don't stab me
1:48:19
so yeah they chased him around for a while eventually pearson boyed ernest pierce
1:48:24
point uh reich and boyd emerge from the cave and they find colonel hart and he's not dead so he's
1:48:30
just got the cloak over him and he's bleeding to death like like it's as if he's already a corpse but he's just feebly laying there
1:48:37
like i don't know why this is on my face and boyd wants to tend to him but reich
1:48:43
is just like no we gotta go kill this guy right now uh the right decision honestly well i
1:48:48
guess i mean yeah you can't really do triage in the middle of a combat type situation i suppose
1:48:54
the the rank decision the right decision yes from here on out for the rest of
1:48:59
this we shall call it the reich decision okay so toffler screams twice
1:49:07
you know the worst has happened they seem to listen they seem to lose track of the trail
1:49:13
and for some reason calhoun spots them and then gets their attention he's just like ah
1:49:20
yeah that is odd well i think i think i know why it's because he wants to use the
1:49:26
natural topography to kill these people he knows the area i mean he's been eating people here for some time now
1:49:34
so he knows that i guess up a ridge there's a there's a cliff so he i think he's luring them to the
1:49:41
cliff so that he can throw them off of it and that appears to be the case they
1:49:46
find toddler's poor body he's lost a great deal of his stomach and he is dead
1:49:52
oh yes rest in peace annoying character we didn't really like yeah i don't know
1:49:59
i i feel pity but i i just thought it was weird that he
1:50:04
he dies in the same way that he was already wounded calhoun's just like oh you know you got
1:50:10
an abdomen wound so i'm just going to keep stabbing you there i'll make it easy for myself
1:50:16
to finish your meal you know you finish what you started you hurt yourself you got to keep going
1:50:22
well i'm just saying he he was licking the uh the wound you know there are some exposed intestines i
1:50:28
guess but it's not too bad no rye can boyd pursue calhoun
1:50:34
reich wastes two bullets shooting at what he thinks is calhoun i don't know if that's an illusion or
1:50:40
what that was supposed to be like you look over there you see calhoun standing there he fires twice you look
1:50:47
back again and he's not there yeah maybe he's a vampire like he can
1:50:52
move like super fast it's just wendy hill powers well if that's true he probably should have used it earlier
1:50:58
i mean he would have been foiled in his scheme if toffler had just been competent enough to shoot a
1:51:05
i mean that's all it rifle was just toffler not guarding him basically
1:51:11
so yeah they're out on the high cliff calhoun emerges and just rolls a knife right into reich
1:51:17
who plunges off the cliff and then boyd actually has the right idea i mean he actually shoots calhoun
1:51:24
right in the well i thought he was right in the chest but i guess it's the shoulder and he falls down
1:51:29
but gets up rather quickly like he grunts for a while and he gets up there's some blood on his lips but
1:51:35
you know not that hurt for having been shot uh no
1:51:40
and boyd because he is canonically a coward feels himself bested by the situation
1:51:46
you know the because after being shot calhoun seems pretty sprightly it looks like he's gonna you know tackle him
1:51:53
and he's got the he's got the devil eyes he's got the beady cannibal hunger
1:51:59
yes so he essentially gives up and just hurls himself off the cliff rather than face him
1:52:05
i mean i don't know is that cowardly i was thinking like it would be in a way fleeing somebody is
1:52:12
cowardly right but throwing yourself off the cliff is pretty nuts yeah
1:52:18
god okay yeah you've got a point it's like yeah the intent of the act is
1:52:24
cowardly but the but in like practice uh i couldn't do it yeah i mean
1:52:31
i think he thought he was gonna die but he doesn't die immediately of course yeah i do wonder if it was just a like
1:52:37
he just didn't want his body being uh eaten possibly
1:52:42
i mean right before that right before reich gets stabbed and dies or almost dies
1:52:48
he does tell him that he wants your boy tells reich that he wants to leave rike's like oh no we're gonna we're
1:52:54
gonna find this guy we're gonna kill him that it didn't work out
1:53:00
so by the end of this they're both off the cliff the boyd tumbles down
1:53:05
and he rolls over reich's body and the two of them just roll into some kind of a wooded hollow and just collapse in
1:53:11
there boyd's leg is broken the bone is exposed
1:53:18
and uh well you don't know that right away i guess he's just laying there so like the first thing actually is that uh
1:53:24
reich is hanging upside down and there's just blood pouring out of his lips and turns out he's not dead he's got one of
1:53:30
those kind of like i'm dying so i'm going to try to strangle you things going on
1:53:36
i'm not sure why he's doing that maybe just frustration or i i just assume it's because he's you know he's crazy from
1:53:42
dying uh also crazy for uh cowards
1:53:47
i just can't stand them yeah how dare you go off the cliff i assume you chose to do that
1:53:54
yeah unlike me who did not have a choice in the writer yeah so yeah he tries to get up a boy does
1:54:00
after reich dies and there's that broken celery noise which i just love in movies
1:54:06
yeah yes
1:54:12
so then calhoun calhoun is real dedicated because he he starts searching for them he climbs down
1:54:18
the the cliff just to go look for their bodies and he's he's literally sniffing around like not
1:54:24
just you know the the verb i mean like he's sniffing the air like he's a dog or
1:54:30
something so okay i want to i want to take a moment because um
1:54:36
that does seem like a weird almost like supernatural power that he has like it actually seems like he's like able to
1:54:42
track people by scent maybe yeah possibly so
1:54:47
is this movie pro cannibalism
1:54:53
because the movie seems to really drive home but there are a lot of
1:55:00
benefits to eating man flesh like the virility the restorative nature
1:55:09
of eating flesh the fact that it gives you something near supernatural powers yeah
1:55:17
yeah yeah is is that so you know is the movie uh pro cannibalism
1:55:22
maybe well the the thing is it's sort of like the dark side of the force where it's it's powerful at the start but then
1:55:28
the downsides are enormous i mean i guess sure and i think it's because it's something that you can't
1:55:35
you can't stop and it just spirals out of control too fast i guess yeah okay so i mean like i guess like
1:55:42
the real the real issue is the addiction not so much the the eating human flesh yeah if
1:55:48
you could get the addiction under control or if you could exercise the spirit yeah you could just eat a little bit of a dead guy and then you know get
1:55:55
cured of your cancer or whatever it is you've got and then just uh you know and then go through a
1:56:01
ritual or whatever okay yeah so it's like it's it's i i would say it's maybe not of the realm
1:56:08
of possibility to suggest that the movie is uh pro moderate cannibalism
1:56:15
like cannibalism yeah and you know i i think also that robert carlisle plays calhoun so
1:56:21
successfully that he makes it seem kind of awesome to be a cannibal yeah okay yeah that's also probably part
1:56:28
of it without spoiling it there are other characters that engage in cannibalism there
1:56:34
that's cool yeah this is true so reich died with his blue eyes open
1:56:41
and it's real creepy looking oh yes so boyd is trapped in the pit i guess
1:56:48
i guess calhoun must have missed him maybe he couldn't smell him under all the all of the pine needles i'm not sure
1:56:55
either that or maybe he was just leaving him down there on purpose it's a little ambiguous and honestly i kind of like it when they leave it like that
1:57:02
yeah i do i do kind of like the idea that he intentionally left him down there
1:57:07
knowing what happens well let's see how this goes
1:57:14
yeah i mean he seems like the kind of guy who would
1:57:19
do that you know yeah so yeah boyd painfully resets the bone
1:57:24
in his leg as he lays in the pit it's horrible oh yes and there's a little clip of
1:57:31
calhoun just cackling to himself as he's dragging bodies into the cave and then uh
1:57:36
boyd respectfully places some branches over reich's face i i guess it's sort of like a casual little funeral
1:57:44
what he's able to do in the time and there's a clip of just life going on at the fort with martha and you know
1:57:50
david arquette's character cleaves and just kind of blissfully going about their day entirely unaware that almost their
1:57:56
entire fort members are now dead and eaten yeah and i just have a note here that just
1:58:03
says this movie gets nuts right away yeah cause you think of how much this
1:58:08
escalated and this is not far into the movie i didn't write down the time stamp but this is maybe a half hour in maybe
1:58:14
something like that yeah there about it and there's already multiple instances of you know death and
1:58:21
cannibalism and just madness so uh boyd steals reich's jacket for
1:58:26
warmth when it gets cold at night and the reich's eyes stay pretty clear even in death like they get a little
1:58:32
cloudy but not as cloudy as i would have expected yeah and he just kind of stares him down
1:58:38
while he's laying there the boys just like tell me what to do i need you to tell me what to do
1:58:46
i i
1:58:52
i wonder if that's like a recurring theme is boyd's sort of cowardice like he doesn't want to make his own decision so he
1:58:57
keeps trying to ask other people for help yeah i noticed that
1:59:03
i i like that they're consistent about that because it would be it would be very easy to just write him
1:59:09
as like doing the cowardly thing and then having him be more traditionally like
1:59:15
heroic and protagonistic and yeah like when the movie is like
1:59:20
actually occurring and like stuff's happening boyd starts to get the hunger and
1:59:25
there's no easy way to show this in a movie so they just show some flames and you know some clips of him covered in
1:59:31
the blood from when he was buried in the corpse yeah and you know and he makes some kind
1:59:36
of constipated faces just like oh hungry i feel a little bad for guy pierce i
1:59:43
mean there's only so much you can do you know to look hungry uh yeah and i y'all oh yeah
1:59:50
oh yeah you go first well i was gonna say the i mean like the ridiculous thing to do would be to like completely
1:59:56
undercut the seriousness of the scene by playing like a stomach growling noise i think it did didn't it
2:00:04
did it i i thought it did play like a little noise but i'm not positive i'd have to play it back
2:00:10
yeah i don't i don't remember that if it did it was a subtle one and it didn't ruin this yeah
2:00:15
yeah yeah it wasn't it wasn't like uh oh my tummy
2:00:24
yeah i love the weird insane stuff he's saying to reich when he finally kind of
2:00:31
gives up and and starts to hack him up yeah did you write it down
2:00:36
uh no i didn't but uh it's it's insane but yeah he's he just says damn you
2:00:44
you're dead you're dead you're safe now yes like he's mad at him for his
2:00:50
problems being over that is so bleak
2:00:56
yeah literally it's dark what a black day for captain boyd
2:01:02
or or lieutenant boyd whichever boy he is yeah but yeah he he cuts a little out of
2:01:08
it out of reich's lake it kind of looks like beef jerky to me yeah i mean
2:01:13
like like of the beat we've seen so far in the movie uh reich does look the most
2:01:19
appetizing yeah i would say that yeah i would also say just generally for this movie that
2:01:24
the cannibalism is handled fairly well there's hardly any of it that's really gross or makes you want to throw up
2:01:30
yeah like i said the you know the movie does you know portrays cannibalism in
2:01:37
like pretty uh pretty positive light doesn't make it too gross or anything yeah i mean
2:01:43
speaking of which uh just a little bit of reich in him and yeah void starts to heal
2:01:49
that's what i'm saying and he's able to stumble out of the pit and and hobble his way home
2:01:58
uh when he gets there i actually made a note about the graves outside the fort i had to watch it later though just to
2:02:04
remind myself of whether or not they were there at the beginning and they are because i thought it would have been funny if calhoun or whoever had already
2:02:10
put their graves out there like symbolic graves like ah they're all
2:02:16
dead that would be pretty good i'm not sure how long he was gone it's i guess long enough for him to have his leg
2:02:24
reset a bit yeah i kind of got the feeling that it was like not too long but it was it
2:02:31
wasn't like a day i was just gonna guess like a week or maybe two weeks
2:02:37
something like that yeah cleaves you know slash uh david arquette sees him first
2:02:43
and then uh knox treats boyd and and boyd rests but he has horrible
2:02:48
nightmares they just like rolls out of bed i guess that's just the show maybe he's
2:02:53
got the wendigo in him now and it's it's like an evil spirit it'll it'll create unrest in his heart
2:02:59
or maybe just uh eating somebody you knew is real traumatizing you know yeah i mean
2:03:05
either way seems like you'd suck yeah so that brings things down to only the
2:03:11
cook you know our uh major knox martha and boyd
2:03:18
uh so boyd goes to martha's personal tp without her permission he just walks in there and it starts just pawing around
2:03:25
in her stuff and then she comes in with him already in there and and you know
2:03:31
she gives them a reproachful look but not much of one she's just like well i know most of the white men will paw
2:03:37
around in my stuff eventually but i'd rather you not do that right now i have business to attend to
2:03:43
lately in the way it's just a little odd to me well because also he has to establish in that
2:03:49
scene that he didn't kill her brother because george died too and nobody knows what happened he's the only one that
2:03:54
made it back so in a way that does make him look bad uh yes definitely so he has to insist
2:04:00
he's like wait please i did not kill your brother i did not and uh and he asks her about the wendigo
2:04:06
and how how to get rid of it it's great her answer is pretty great
2:04:12
she's just like no there's no way yeah you can't do it the one to go takes he never gives
2:04:18
you must die okay peter uh hot take for a second uh can we can we
2:04:25
admit that uh the wendigo is capitalism
2:04:30
maybe i heard that it was a joke but then like afterwards i was reading this like you
2:04:37
know maybe kind of i mean like like the western way of life to you know
2:04:43
always take it's i would say cannibalism is wrapped up in reckless
2:04:50
over expansion at any rate yeah you know cutting cutting corners doing
2:04:56
things the improper way trying to sneak around other people doing you know just doing things out of
2:05:01
greed and not with a lot of foresight yeah leads to cannibalism
2:05:06
uh so i don't know i mean i think that's one of the themes they try to bring up later i mean they do talk about manifest
2:05:12
destiny and yeah yeah robert carlisle says something awesome it was it was like
2:05:18
america was like a mother with her arms wide willing to embrace and also bury secrets
2:05:25
so yeah it was a good that was a good one yeah that's that's a bit later but yeah yes
2:05:32
it's a spoiler alert here calhoun comes back later of course he does why wouldn't that be weird
2:05:38
he's just like yeah that happened now we're going to just deal with it for the rest of the movie i get what we what would you even make
2:05:43
the movie about if you didn't yeah like he just wandered off into the
2:05:49
wilderness i think he's so weird yeah i would i would have it be like the end of uh the
2:05:55
revenant so he would just go track him down be like i'm gonna go kill that man
2:06:01
yeah okay you could you could take the movie in that direction i don't know if it's a great ending but
2:06:06
it's a way you could take it yeah rather than just have him give up and
2:06:12
just i don't know if he's left to his own devices he might even just come to his senses or find some kind of peace
2:06:19
although it makes it seem as though the when to go will always take you over in time so i don't know yeah
2:06:25
yeah i don't think he i don't think he's the the peace kind of guy
2:06:33
the two military men come back it's general slauson and another guy his assistant
2:06:41
i don't know the other guy's name no i on the other i guess it doesn't really matter he he seems like a
2:06:46
secretary of some sort does he even have like a a line in the movie
2:06:52
he almost says something and then general slauson stops him because he mispronounces wendigo he's just like
2:06:58
windigo and the guy starts to say something and he's just like i know i said it wrong i was just you're making a point
2:07:05
also is it okay not to like get too pedantic about this but also isn't wendigo the wrong way to pronounce it
2:07:12
it's like whitigo or something like that it could be i i don't know the real legend that's one of the few things i i
2:07:19
didn't look up at all i i should know that because i have read
2:07:24
so many stories that revolve around when to go mythology
2:07:30
i've watched maybe endless playthroughs of until dawn which is all about when to go
2:07:35
[Laughter] this may be an embarrassing omission because the game is kind of ridiculous
2:07:42
but i i like just watching different people's playthroughs where they get these name characters killed so yeah uh
2:07:48
yeah i no they okay as inside how is there no pc part of
2:07:54
that game i don't know i would play it if it was on something other than the crappy console
2:07:59
yeah yeah i mean it feels like it's like designed for streaming well yeah it is streamed a lot but
2:08:05
people have to dig out uh whichever playstation it's on is it three i don't know yeah i think it is playstation 3 but
2:08:12
yeah ridiculous come on give it to times ridiculous
2:08:17
yeah it is man so general slauson says there's you know there's four missing soldiers and no
2:08:23
bodies there's no evidence to to prove the story and apparently boyd just told him the
2:08:29
real story and i feel i feel like even if you relate to his position
2:08:35
i don't think anybody would do that he was like yeah he had powers and he attacked us
2:08:42
yeah that's like are you serious they must have been doing like the side eye with each other the whole time
2:08:48
yeah is this guy for real like just omit that stuff no just be
2:08:53
like you know he was a murderer and he got the drop on us yeah like i was okay people
2:08:59
people listening to this if you're ever in a situation like this where you have to like
2:09:05
frame a uh a story to convince a skeptic yeah don't
2:09:10
don't include the part about the supernatural powers downplay that omit it uh it's not gonna help
2:09:17
you know it's just well i would actually have the moment where they're about to say it and then
2:09:22
they think better of it you know and then they just sort of edit it out for themselves you know like yeah that's like think of like
2:09:29
silver bullet where like all these people are getting killed and and uh
2:09:35
whichever quarry it is corey heym i think it is he keeps insisting it's a werewolf and just like well why couldn't
2:09:41
you just say it's a murderer yeah oh man a silver bullet should we do that
2:09:47
we should do well we should do all things well sure but i like that would be a lot
2:09:52
oh no i like i borderline love that movie because gary busey is just insane it is in it
2:09:58
i i love the idea of his character because like you would never have that guy
2:10:05
yeah in like anything anything but like a stephen king movie where he's like here's like the the lovable like alcoholic who like actually
2:10:12
he actually has a problem yeah the sleazy irresponsible uncle
2:10:18
but he's like but he's like a good guy he's a good guy yeah but he's irresponsible he's just like a big kid
2:10:25
yeah he also has one of the best tadas in in movie history in that movie
2:10:34
i mean like gary peace is great yeah anyway long story short yeah don't say
2:10:40
it's a werewolf don't say it's a magic cannibal yes please
2:10:45
kids who like the children who are listening to this don't say it's a werewolf
2:10:52
yeah don't say it's a werewolf don't say it's cannibal don't say their magic powers so i mean but they're relatively nice
2:10:58
about it when he tells them the story or implies what the movie implies that he told them everything and they're just
2:11:05
like listen man we sent you here to give you a second chance why don't you just take that second
2:11:11
chance stop telling us crazy stuff and just you know change your story
2:11:16
that's all we're saying honestly a completely reasonable answer
2:11:21
yeah i mean he's already on thin ice so i mean you know
2:11:26
i mean the thing is i i feel like there's a tendency to have like authority figures like this in movies come off as like
2:11:34
way too stubborn and like like although like like unrealistically so yeah i mean like from
2:11:39
like if you think about it from their perspective it's like they're being a little bit nicer for you know to like
2:11:46
even kind of humor this absolute coward nut job yeah
2:11:53
this lunatic looking man they had to go so far slauson probably had to travel
2:11:58
for weeks to come just have this stupid conversation i yeah i i mean you'd be pissed right
2:12:06
it probably should have just been a letter be like uh we we are advising you or like we've read your story but i have
2:12:13
amended it for you i have included a copy yeah that's also like that's interesting
2:12:19
to me too because like i kind of wonder if he was in some trouble to like
2:12:25
be tasked to do this yeah maybe less trouble because he gets to be
2:12:30
in a better place most of the time yeah i guess but just like like who
2:12:36
who gives you that order unless you like this someone off yeah well maybe he did
2:12:43
in the meantime general slauson and his assistant who is unnamed or at least
2:12:48
until the credits yeah wait i think his name is lindis or something it's something like that i remember seeing seeing it in the credits
2:12:55
but i don't know if they even ever mention it but anyway his semi-silent assistant
2:13:00
mr janice really oh no yeah yeah no there's lindas there's a windows here no mr yanos was
2:13:07
one of the guys that died yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so i guess that's his name anyway
2:13:13
the two of them introduced the new colonel and it's an interim commanding officer
2:13:20
and uh he's like mr boyd or captain boyd i'd like to introduce you to colonel ives
2:13:28
it's called the whole reveal is so good it's it's wonderful
2:13:33
it's like it's great because like you almost feel gaslit for a second
2:13:40
like you like watching movies like what the hell is going on here yeah yeah i'm almost glad they didn't do
2:13:48
like a crazy just sudden dutch angle like you just tilt the screen you're like
2:13:53
yeah yeah it's topsy-turvy land and no it's it's great calhoun plays it
2:13:59
perfectly and then boyd he's r you can see how unprepared he is
2:14:04
for because he just straight up swoons when he sees the man yes this handsome man has given me the
2:14:11
vapors oh we'll we'll go into that a little bit
2:14:17
later i mean rightfully so but it's just just
2:14:22
in the yeah in the broader context of this movie it's funny that he just collapses on the side of this man
2:14:28
yeah i know it it's like he's a like hp love craft like protagonist
2:14:36
yeah that's true almost all those lovecraft guys would just pass out when something weird happens like oh i saw a monster and i passed
2:14:42
down it's like what are you like a child as all men do i passed out when
2:14:48
something scary happened oh okay i'm sorry i'm doing another aside but uh did you
2:14:54
have you ever read that like the challenger or the challenge from beyond that sort of like round robin
2:15:00
story he did with like a couple of like horror authors and then robert e howard
2:15:05
no i didn't no because they they they have the like the like lovecraft's segment ends
2:15:13
with like and then i saw the horrible thing and i passed out and then it immediately is like round-robined over
2:15:19
to uh the author you may not be aware robert b howard author of uh conan the
2:15:25
barbarian and yeah yeah i know healing well i mean other people that might not
2:15:31
but so it goes right from like he fades to like he immediately recovers and then
2:15:36
grabs something from the table and chops the head off of the monster and it's like that's
2:15:42
it's like they could it couldn't be a more perfect like representation of the difference between those two authors
2:15:48
yeah i mean me and my friends we used to do a round robin writing thing uh we would write almost every day and each of
2:15:56
us would take turns so we only had to write like maybe once every three days and we would do things where
2:16:02
i mean we were kids so there was an excuse for this so we would have characters straight up die that like the ones we didn't like
2:16:08
and then the next person would be like and then they came back from the dead and then they shot your character you
2:16:13
know sure
2:16:19
the professional equivalent of that yeah yeah no i know yeah yeah with like grown-ass men too which is
2:16:26
uh perfect robert e howard's just like passed out what
2:16:32
no i don't know it's like crap i i wish that someone would have like collected
2:16:39
the correspondence between them regarding that story because you know they you know they commented on what
2:16:46
everyone was doing and it's just like i wonder if they had a terse exchange
2:16:52
yeah yeah like i can't imagine that lovecraft was like yeah no that's good oh that's what i had
2:16:58
in mind i i think i think it would go like this uh lovecraft would be like oh
2:17:03
well i don't know if that's the direction i would have gone with it howard and then robert e howard would say well you know
2:17:10
listen i would yell at you about this but you might pass out
2:17:15
there you go ah sickness
2:17:21
yes okay we'll get back to ravenous but i
2:17:26
offhand i do think that he also literally does the like uh
2:17:33
feeling the like the the power of his like anglo-saxon blood flowing within him
2:17:39
thing when he when he like a robert e howard thing
2:17:45
yeah it it's beautiful anyway i don't i don't think i ever was able to finish a conan book it was never
2:17:51
really my cup of tea but yeah i can i can relate i guess
2:17:57
they're fun not to be say the anglo-saxon blood powering thing but yeah but just to jump
2:18:04
[Laughter] i'm powered by other things yeah
2:18:11
so yeah so boyd freaks out insists it's calhoun they're like what are you talking about this doesn't make sense
2:18:18
and he's just and boyd's just like listen major knox saw him he'll he'll he'll confirm it
2:18:25
and it's great i've made your knocks every scene with him is wonderful i mean in its own stupid way
2:18:31
because like his i don't know the actor i've already forgotten but he plays him as such a buffoon it's just wonderful
2:18:37
steven spinella i'll i'll take it uh
2:18:44
he's been in stuff such as ed
2:18:49
oh there's a tv show uh yes uh
2:18:56
and house of dust i don't oh that looks bad
2:19:01
oh that looks real bad i don't know so he's a tv guy oh
2:19:07
he was in bubble boy oh well that redeems them well everybody's favorite bubble boy
2:19:15
yeah bubble boy and virtuosity oh okay i do kind of like virtuosity
2:19:22
even though that movie is a pile of crap i don't even recommend anyone watch it in fact i kind of wish that you had
2:19:28
never heard us utter the words virtuosity it's not good
2:19:33
yeah that's that's cursed we've uh we've unleashed something terrible
2:19:39
it's like when you say voldemort out loud like it'll attract virtuosity into people's lives
2:19:45
okay it's not as bad as all that but it's it's it's aggressively not great i don't it's hard to describe
2:19:52
yeah anyway so major knox you know he was drunk out of his mind
2:19:59
well he was always drunk out of his mind but he was he was for almost the entirety of the time calhoun was in camp
2:20:07
so he just says i i knew that he had a beard
2:20:12
or i do recall you know it's like that's it that's all you got boyd accuses him of being drunk they
2:20:19
start to fight and you know in generous losses like all right enough and so
2:20:24
i think it's boyd no no it's not boyd it's uh major knox suggests like oh wait you said you shot him in the shoulder
2:20:30
right well why did you prove it yeah so they do one of those weird scenes where you bring in a new commanding
2:20:36
officer and make him take off his clothes um seems pretty normal to me what's wrong
2:20:44
it is such a weird scene and i think i have to thank robert carlisle for making it so like oddly
2:20:51
like i don't want to say erotic but yet kinda there's something weird about it
2:20:58
he's just like well i've never said no to a group of men telling me to undress so
2:21:06
can we okay can we just admit that it's intentional like this movie is like intensely homoerotic well i mean like it
2:21:13
might not be clear before but it's this scene where you're just like well wait is this this where this is going
2:21:19
uh yeah it also okay to be fair i'm not saying that as like it's weird or like bad or
2:21:25
whatever no to the contrary i think i think the homoeroticism is like a
2:21:32
benefit to the movie oh absolutely well that's something yeah we gotta say right away like i feel like
2:21:38
this this movie earns another star in my book because it's gay
2:21:45
yes i like the the additional weird dynamic of it
2:21:50
so i mean like it makes her it makes their relationship like the relationship between boy and
2:21:56
calhoun feel more intense you know because because there's that sort of
2:22:02
like undercurrent of that well they share cannibalism they both know each other's
2:22:08
horrible secret and they have like that kind of odd secret understanding
2:22:14
yeah so for the whole scene he's just like staring down boyd he's just like all right i'm gonna unbutton my shirt
2:22:21
i'm gonna just pull this off real slow you know it's just like and it's a long scene like and they stay on it and and
2:22:27
to the movie's benefit you know like it doesn't hurt anything it makes it better no it really no really like the movie
2:22:34
would be less interesting yeah and there's something about the way he reveals both shoulders
2:22:41
where i i almost feel like it's you know you're gonna get like that dirty sex from like old like 50s things like
2:22:48
yes no absolutely like like this like i'm sorry if you've nev if you haven't
2:22:54
seen this movie this is going to sound like a joke if like or or we're like making fun of the movie no
2:23:01
it's like how the scene feels you cannot look away
2:23:06
it's wonderful just like what's happening here it's like the whole time they're just
2:23:12
having that you know that that weird like yeah like i said he's just staring him down yes
2:23:19
okay i was gonna say like i haven't known about this it's literally just the like show me your shoulder scene because like
2:23:26
that's just like yeah you know i almost wish you would have been like the calf of his foot her side or his leg
2:23:34
so he could have like pulled up his pant legs he's like [Music] okay that would have been maybe too much
2:23:40
no it would have been i mean i was just thinking how weird that is
2:23:46
because he they don't explain the situation to him really like he doesn't know that they're looking for a bullet wound so he's just like could you just
2:23:52
take this off and just and just show us some stuff and he's just like all right i mean uh it's
2:23:58
a little unusual but uh i'm on board yeah no harm in this
2:24:05
just a couple of guys having fun it's the military yeah well i mean that
2:24:11
i think that also speaks to the isolation which is kind of interesting you know i think that there's something
2:24:16
about when you're trying to just survive and you have very few people to talk to you have very little
2:24:21
companionship that unconventional relationships make a lot more sense sure oh i mean uh not the
2:24:29
not the homoerotic stuff is wrong yeah no there's anything wrong with it no but like
2:24:35
the movie basically says this much later on uh when what the uh
2:24:42
like it's it you know like slowly being uh being a cannibal oh that's right yeah yeah i mean like
2:24:49
that's like that's what it does come down to is like you know it it's interesting because it
2:24:56
is such a uh despite how crazy calhoun is his motivation is
2:25:03
pretty human he's just he's a lonely guy it's very lonely out there and not even
2:25:08
just out there but it's lonely being a cannibal yeah i don't know it's lazy eating the flesh
2:25:15
of other humans yeah imagine so so
2:25:21
so yeah there's that scene and uh and i guess general slauson's like all right well clearly we've proved what we needed
2:25:27
to so we're going to just leave now and uh and then they have a very tense dinner
2:25:34
after the uh you know after the officials have left cleves is there and i just realized i
2:25:39
think he's had it the whole movie but he it looks like he's got a beartooth necklace yeah just like that's kind of awesome
2:25:47
or they might be bear claws but i think bear claws are dark so i think they're bare tooth because they're white
2:25:53
yeah hey that makes sense i don't know anyway i thought it was
2:25:59
neat no yeah it is oh wait no yeah i think there oh first
2:26:04
this is before the dinner scene i just realized that's when you first see the release when i first saw the necklace but boyd just walks in and just takes cleves
2:26:11
knife while he's working on some meat just like you don't need this do you i'm not a murderer
2:26:18
he's just like ah no go ahead take it i'll sleep better knowing you have it
2:26:23
[Laughter] love to let other people just have my knives
2:26:30
yeah can i can i take your your sharp objects like oh please i was going to give it to
2:26:36
you so yeah then they have a meal and it's it's i love meals like
2:26:43
this because it's you know it's like in dracula when he's just like i never drink vine
2:26:49
you know they just they have all their fun little secret conversations you know yeah oh god that's a like
2:26:56
i kind of want to do that one too because bram stoker's dracula i think that would
2:27:03
be a good one yeah i like that movie i honestly do oh no yeah
2:27:08
no i think it's genuinely good yeah i guess yeah it's been a while uh except
2:27:13
for keanu reeves but you know oh i disagree i feel like his
2:27:19
performance adds another layer to the movie fiery inferno in the night oh tell me
2:27:26
dracula yeah dracula
2:27:33
oh my god who knew he would become such a beloved actor
2:27:40
right after uh bill and ted's they're like you know what you'd be perfect for a dracula yeah
2:27:46
okay i like the idea that the studio insisted that he do the bill
2:27:51
and ted voice yeah i will not do this movie unless he's in this keanu must be jonathan
2:27:59
harker like like he like he wanted to do something better but the studio was like
2:28:05
no listen you have to sound like your character in billington please
2:28:12
yeah or just like well i was about to go do point break too but
2:28:19
oh no wait no this is before that yeah yeah it'll be a prequel for a movie i will one day do
2:28:27
hey yeah it'll be like george lucas you know he planned everything in advance you know like dozens of movies
2:28:36
okay so they have they have a dinner calhoun it says like you know what's the matter
2:28:42
boyd yeah you never eat meat and boyd says only as a last resort
2:28:50
like yeah i mean honestly the movie's made for this and i kind of wish there was more
2:28:55
of it endless just ridiculous comments yeah i don't know like okay i wouldn't say the movie's too
2:29:02
short but there's just like i wish there was more of it you know
2:29:07
there is a certain brevity to it yeah well i just realized i was looking at the timer we've already talked way
2:29:13
longer than the entire length of the movie itself yes absolutely
2:29:19
oh my god we're not even halfway through well no we move this right along shall we move over
2:29:24
something like that i guess it's a short movie maybe it just doesn't feel like it because not very much happens i don't know i mean i don't
2:29:30
mean that in a bad way but yeah there's very few actual events there's just less people at the fort until they
2:29:36
run out at the end you know yeah minor spoiler so uh boyd watches
2:29:42
boyd hungrily watches arquette chopping wood through a window he just fantasizes about knocking him
2:29:48
down and just cutting him up i don't know why but that scene has
2:29:55
haunted me more than any other scene from this movie from when i saw it back in 1999
2:30:01
it's very it's sadistic yeah there's something so weird about it you
2:30:06
know it's not that it's it's that there's a a joyful hysteria because he he's just cutting him open
2:30:12
and then just in the middle of it david arquette just starts just laughing hysterically while boyd is just eating
2:30:18
his bits yeah there's something kind of insane about
2:30:24
it i don't know it tickles me in a bizarre way yeah something about taking such joy and
2:30:30
watching someone devour you yeah maybe he's so medicated it just didn't
2:30:37
affect him as much as other people yeah well be that as it may the next day
2:30:42
comes and knox and you know david arquette they're playing chess on an adorable
2:30:48
little chess board and and knocks cheats so almost every time arquette looks away
2:30:54
he just moves a piece and uh and he wins you know our cat makes a silly face for
2:31:00
having lost like oh shucks ives is in the room and boyd is in the room and they're all very uncomfortable
2:31:07
i've i don't should i call him ives or calhoun i'll just call him ives from here right now um anyway
2:31:13
yeah yeah he closes the book he's reading too fast and so floyd just like leaps up and
2:31:19
whips out a knife and then everybody whips out a knife to defend him just like yeah i like that that's like it
2:31:25
does a good job of showing out like traumatized boy it is by all this
2:31:31
well it also it makes me sad because at the beginning they were having a fairly good time eating together you know hart
2:31:37
said that they have a good camaraderie and now they're just morale seems very
2:31:43
low indeed but they're all just pulling knives on each other and they're like afraid of falling asleep and stuff yeah
2:31:50
so boyd and ives finally have a moment alone i guess this is a little time later they they wander outside and have a chat
2:31:58
and ives finally gets to speak frankly to boyd and he says that he uh well first he
2:32:03
says that he found reich's body he didn't finish he can't blame you though
2:32:08
he was tough the soldiers should be tough yeah tough hard to finish but it goes soldier ought
2:32:14
to be yeah yeah that was it he has so much fun it's such a good line
2:32:21
i love it yeah and he explains a situation which almost makes you feel
2:32:26
bad for him but not exactly he's like you know he mentions he was dying of tuberculosis he had headaches
2:32:32
uh depression suicidal thoughts and he was heading to a sanatorium to convalesce
2:32:38
i don't know why he would head to a sanatorium in mexico maybe maybe it's a catholic one yeah let
2:32:44
me oh you know that makes like a weird amount of sense because he does have the uh little like rosary thing
2:32:51
oh yeah that's right yeah maybe it does make sense yeah okay that was a veiled criticism but you know
2:32:57
what oh you know that's fine yeah i kind of like that idea he mentions that a native american scout
2:33:03
told him of the wendigo myth and then uh i've said he just had to try
2:33:10
i mean that's what you do right and said he uh he felt better and then after uh you know coincidentally getting
2:33:17
trapped in the snow with a bunch of other people uh he ate five more people over the course of three months and his
2:33:23
tuberculosis disappeared all right so now you guys know if you have tuberculosis eat people lots of them
2:33:31
you'll feel that is the healing power of cannibalism yeah praise the lord
2:33:39
it would be weird if this ended up just being a propaganda film for cannibalism be like you should try it that's what i'm saying is like the movie makes a
2:33:46
good case for just a moderate cannibalism why haven't you tried it yet
2:33:53
you'd be a fool not to well i mean if what the movie's saying is true yeah you
2:33:59
would be yeah there was that weird line where uh he said he felt happy healthy virile and
2:34:06
he makes kind of a face and then boyd says did you eat her too and then he says well now that you
2:34:12
mention it and like i feel like it's implying a couple different things in a row i'm not sure of what all of them are
2:34:19
yeah i wasn't i was gonna ask you about that i'm not fully sure i
2:34:25
i think i well i think when he said virile he kind of made a face i was like well wait did so are you saying like
2:34:31
what you you raped mccready's wife is that what you're saying and then he's just like you ate her too
2:34:37
he's like well okay i mean all right that's depressing
2:34:43
uh yeah i guess it was just a reason to get him mad enough to slash his hand because that's what happens next you
2:34:48
know just like ah he pulls out his knife yeah it could just be like a psychological
2:34:54
game he's playing with him it could be he's toying with him but then again who knows i mean uh
2:35:00
yeah calhoun ives is nuts so he he might have uh yeah oh yeah so yeah
2:35:06
uh boyd cuts his hand and ives tempts him with the smell of his blood just kind of holds out his
2:35:12
hand it's a very vampirey scene you know he's just like you can't you
2:35:17
know you can't you can't stop yourself can you you know that whole thing
2:35:23
i don't remember exactly what he said but you know there's that whole thing about the the dissipation of strength when you haven't done a bit of
2:35:30
cannibalism in a while so i guess there probably are limits to maybe it's like a battery you have to
2:35:36
keep recharging you know uh so boyd loses it and uh he's
2:35:42
gonna slash his throat but then everyone comes out and sees you know that once again he's threatening him with a knife
2:35:48
this time in a more serious fashion so major knox just holding a bottle of liquor in his hand was stumbling around
2:35:54
he's just like ah you know what you're under arrest yeah you know what
2:35:59
hey somebody put him under arrest i'm gonna go lay down
2:36:05
it's pretty great and um i'm just thinking i just love how casual
2:36:11
he is about it you know i was i bet they have to do like a calculation in their heads
2:36:16
because if you know that someone's arrested that means they can't do their obligatory labor so he's just like oh
2:36:22
man if i arrest you that means you're not going to be able to clean out the latrine and then i'm going to have to do it
2:36:30
all right so i almost think he's angry to have to put him under arrest he's like god damn it
2:36:35
all right fine you're under arrest yeah stop trying to kill everyone
2:36:43
so um oh yeah actually he's gonna go get leaves to get him to arrest him
2:36:48
and uh yeah this must be later because the eclipse was alive in the previous scene but suddenly he's not in this one yeah
2:36:55
spoiler alert so martha goes to find him in i think the barn and there's full of dead horse
2:37:02
carcasses and hanging heads and such very strangely arrayed with just blood
2:37:07
everywhere i'm not sure i don't think it was eaten i think it was just slaughtered
2:37:15
i guess it doesn't matter either way but i was just thinking like who would have time to eat a bunch of horses you know
2:37:22
and so so martha goes to to uh what's his name i forgot his name
2:37:27
a major knocks his window and she's just like the horses the horses are all dead
2:37:33
and then a bunch of blood pours all over her face from up above there lays poorer cleaves david our kid
2:37:40
dead on the roof rest in peace uh you terrible character that directed the movie
2:37:46
oh i liked him well okay yeah he he didn't i guess he didn't really fit but i don't know he was a lovable yes
2:37:54
i'd say most of the most of the fort was a lovable goof i don't know about that
2:38:00
that is the big downside of the end of the movie is a distinct lack of lovable goofs because
2:38:06
they're they've all died terrible deaths by that yes definitely
2:38:15
so the next day martha has to well martha is just compelled by knox to
2:38:21
go walk on foot to alert the authorities which means that general slauson has to come back again
2:38:27
to escort boyd to military prison like hey i know you just left probably a
2:38:32
couple of weeks ago but uh he's done even more crazy stuff so you got to come back
2:38:38
i love though that that knox tries to keep things semi-official where he's just like someone's gotta volunteer to
2:38:45
go on foot and martha just like really sadly raises her hand like yeah all right
2:38:51
i i like her character a lot i don't know if that like yeah hey
2:38:56
it would be really easy to just make her like a character that basically does and says
2:39:02
nothing but like she has like personality to her despite like not saying a whole lot
2:39:09
yeah and also she is given the wonderful gift of not being there at the end yeah which
2:39:16
means she gets to live it's like twice in a row she uh lucks out like that
2:39:23
oh that's true yeah both times yeah it's like leaving a building the two
2:39:28
different times a bomb goes off uh that's weirdly specific is that like in reference to something
2:39:36
no i guess it shouldn't be good i was just trying to think of something you know abruptly oh sure you know
2:39:42
or i i don't want to say it's like a shooting that's depressing for some reason bombs feel cleaner to me in an
2:39:48
analogy but maybe maybe i'm thinking too hard yeah
2:39:54
okay all right moving up moving on moving on moving on
2:40:00
so ives is preparing a stew and he's got so many carrots
2:40:06
i also noticed that if i just there's so many carrots and it's
2:40:12
like there's there's a lot of onions and potatoes too i was just thinking well i mean i know they have a reserve of some
2:40:17
sort but like why why you gotta be so weird about cannibalism you could just live off of carrots and stuff sure
2:40:24
i feel like he's almost wasting them because he wants to mix them into a stew with the human stuff he's like oh if you're gonna eat any food it's gonna be
2:40:31
our food and with martha gone this is very easy math
2:40:37
so i just want to point out though that with martha gone it's down to major knocks
2:40:42
ives and a chained up void they've chained him to a wall and there's just this random scene
2:40:48
where before he prepares the stew ives just walks into the room where boyd is chained up and just smacks him in the
2:40:54
face so that he can like smell the blood on his hand after he smacked him
2:41:00
i i don't know what that scene was i mean it was kind of great but yeah it was very strange yeah it was very abrupt
2:41:08
i guess it sort of goes to the homoerotic thing again where like it seems like they're bonding in a strange way
2:41:14
yeah i can see that yeah i mean because it like it does feel like
2:41:20
calhoun is very invested in making sure boyd is like
2:41:26
a part of this and like getting into it you know so like like it would almost make sense
2:41:33
for him to be to be mad that he is like not awake and not experiencing it
2:41:40
i guess i'm just gonna smack him away yeah i don't know i do like the i love the insanity of the
2:41:48
scene where boyd is chained up while ives is making that stew with all the carrots and he just keeps calling out to knox
2:41:54
his major knocks phantom knocks please say something just prove you're alive please
2:42:00
because because it would drive you crazy if you know you're you're down to just two people you're just like oh please
2:42:06
just say the fort is still a human fort and not a cannibal monster yeah
2:42:12
and knox is just like shut up you killed my horse i guess i can't really blame him for that
2:42:19
knox asks ives if he can help with the stew and ive says oh well in time
2:42:25
perhaps later you might contribute that was it oh yeah sorry i didn't write it down word for word but yeah it's
2:42:31
wonderful he has the little secret smile yeah the audience has a good laugh it's a good
2:42:37
time we're all having a good time here knox can't find his sword
2:42:42
if he complains to boyd about it i guess maybe he thinks boyd's hiding sharp objects i can't really blame him because
2:42:49
he did take the knife from cleaves in front of everybody yeah it's like you know maybe he took my
2:42:54
sword too the door is left open when knox comes in the door to the outside so he closes enough
2:43:00
he looks around and he's wondering right knox is uh
2:43:05
he's no no well uh well knox finds the door knox finds the door open
2:43:11
turns around sees hart and then then geez because i thought this i thought
2:43:17
knox was the stew oh he's gonna be the student oh okay all right i thought that i thought
2:43:23
theater yeah he said he will contribute right before that that's weird
2:43:29
no all right my mistake anyway all right yeah heart kills him and it's a big reveal there's suspenseful music and
2:43:35
then you think it's going to be ives that kills them and then it's not it's kind of a fun subversion it's i mean
2:43:40
it's a pointless one but it's not fun it was like oh it wasn't isaac killed him it was another surprise it was the
2:43:46
pedophile the ped file is also a cannibal
2:43:52
ferris bueller's principle is back and he looks like crap i mean i mean he really does
2:43:57
i mean all things considered what happened to him he's looking all right
2:44:03
he was on the brink of death yeah yeah i know i mean he he looks very good for someone who
2:44:08
should be dead but yeah when he first shows up he looks strangely bloated and kind of sweaty and
2:44:14
scarred and weird looking which is interesting because in just a couple of scenes he like he looks in the
2:44:20
peak of health it is actually a pretty good job with makeup oh yeah he tells the boy to oh i hated doing that killing
2:44:27
knox with his own sword and uh and then basically they just lay
2:44:32
it out to to boy their their cannibal proposal it was like listen
2:44:38
we want you man it's lonely being a cannibal it's tough making friends
2:44:43
i mean what are the odds that you'd be able to gather up enough cannibals to have a cannibal establishment yeah
2:44:48
exactly i mean you'd have to i feel like the ideal way of doing it is you uh
2:44:54
create like a crazy like cannibal incest family like sonny bean or something
2:45:02
so i mean they leave boyd chained up while he makes up his mind wait a minute wait
2:45:07
no wait they are walking outside i forget why it might be they don't i think they just leave them handcuffed because i do remember that there's a
2:45:12
scene where they walk out and ives is butchering knocks on a stump with the cleavers taking away ives leads him out
2:45:20
to the to the view outside of the fort and he has that great manifest destiny yes
2:45:25
manifest destiny westward expansion it's pretty great
2:45:30
and he says he wants to pick off the gold hungry americans just now and then
2:45:36
he doesn't want to break up families i mean in a way i mean it sounds like he's doing a service
2:45:42
see like it like yeah he'd be crazy it's like i keep saying the movie is a
2:45:48
proponent of moderate cannibalism you every now and then pick off some gray self-serving gold
2:45:55
hunter is the world uh worse off for it hard to say
2:46:01
i mean yes actually but i mean i see where you're coming from
2:46:07
so a little random chaos into a greedy situation making it worse yeah i mean what what's the harms like wow there's a
2:46:12
little harm but but yeah it's not a bad setup i mean because they
2:46:19
would totally control the circumstances they don't need a lot of people to run the fort and they could just you know they could
2:46:24
pick people off very selectively it's a pretty ideal cannibalism yeah
2:46:30
if only they could just all live with themselves but boy just won't yeah in a way he's the villain of the movie yeah
2:46:38
for just not being a team player get with the program man come on boyd you were drinking blood
2:46:44
before any of us were doing this crap so boyd refuses to play along so
2:46:52
ives stabs him non-fatally and just says acquiescence is easy
2:46:58
just give in he mentions it's a non-fatal stab so long as he makes quote unquote the
2:47:04
proper precautions yeah so heart prepares the stew a la major
2:47:10
knox which actually looks pretty hearty and delicious yeah
2:47:16
yeah it does i mean at least just visually it looks
2:47:22
like nice beefy chunks you know yeah although i don't know i feel like the like flesh of an alcoholic would be
2:47:28
uh it wouldn't taste that great i wonder if it would taste kind of alcoholish or i guess i feel like it
2:47:35
would like i guess i don't know the science of it but i guess it would like i feel i mean there's science of magical
2:47:40
case you know i'm just saying like the science of like eating an alcoholic uh i mean i feel like the alcohol would like
2:47:47
you know give it kind of i mean it's because it's a poison
2:47:52
so if i feel i feel like it would taint the meat well i mean uh you know heart says that
2:47:58
if he eats the stew he'll heal up in no time and be twice as strong
2:48:04
which i wonder if that's a thing that piles on over itself so maybe if you eat a bunch of people in a row you'll be
2:48:10
that many times stronger so if you eat like 10 men do you think you could lift a car over your head um
2:48:18
i don't know but i like the idea i mean i think so i mean i could be wrong but
2:48:23
superhero movies are big these days yeah who like they should do like a
2:48:29
superhero movie or the heroes powered by uh cannibalism well venom used to eat the brains of his
2:48:35
enemies oh yeah let's see yeah okay yeah that's literally a cannibalism-powered hero yeah all right
2:48:41
yes let's see again until they made it chocolate later yeah yeah like oh wait this chemical is easily
2:48:47
obtainable in non-brain ways so i guess i'll just do that yeah that sucks i uh well i i'm sorry i like venom when
2:48:55
he like eats brains and when he lives in a weird underground like hobo city beneath new
2:49:03
york that was weird yeah i i didn't read enough of that i mean venom
2:49:08
was of our time he's very radical 90s i uh oh okay i'm sorry real venom fans
2:49:15
would remember the time that he fought carnage and the two of them went all goopy and then
2:49:22
fought inside the internet by like becoming goop and then like sliding into
2:49:28
a phone or something yeah that was pretty bad
2:49:33
that doesn't matter no it doesn't it also like makes me wonder what
2:49:38
what did people think the internet was because it feels like people i don't know it feels like people just thought
2:49:45
it was like actually magic which i guess it like seemed like at the time but
2:49:50
come on yeah it did seem very mysterious at first i suppose
2:49:55
so i guess i can't believe yeah i'm not i can't fault them too hard but still come on
2:50:02
i think it's hurt quotes ben franklin no no i've quote some there's two different ben franklin quotes right away
2:50:08
it's weird so i think ive says it first he says eat to live don't live
2:50:14
yes it's just that's good and it's it's actually good it's sage
2:50:20
advice and then later on i think hart says waste not want not
2:50:26
i was a little disappointed that he quoted ben franklin because hart already set up earlier in the movie that
2:50:32
he read like you know aristotle and plato and all these people he could have quoted anybody
2:50:38
he probably could have quoted them in their language say some latin or something i mean it oh
2:50:45
well it fits well there's a weird theme that comes up after a while where
2:50:51
there's like an american flag in hart's room or not room well i mean his office
2:50:58
and it seems like they're they're alluding to something about america i'm just not sure what i don't know just the emptiness and
2:51:05
the greed well it's like i was saying earlier that the whole like western way of life is like cannibalism in that it's
2:51:12
it's it you take you take and take and you don't give you're like a virus well no it's like
2:51:19
i'm not trying to sound like uh like edgy here but you know i i think there's some truth to that
2:51:27
oh i was on the verge of quoting the matrix you know yeah i know i do like to cut that off spread to
2:51:34
another place because i don't think that yeah please don't don't stop it stop quoting the
2:51:41
matrix no yeah because no because i get no i hate that quote honestly because it's like people yeah people are not a
2:51:48
virus it's the way in which some people choose to
2:51:54
live is virus like in in like it's
2:52:01
consumption and exploitation i'll give you a better example actually
2:52:06
we have a bunch of animals outside of my house we we feed squirrels and crows
2:52:12
stellars jays and just i don't know over a hundred different kinds of birds with bird seed and peanuts and we'll throw
2:52:18
out scraps of food and all this stuff and it's like this this wonderful ecosystem and then occasionally we get a
2:52:24
hawk or an owl we'll get like the apex predators will come in and just harass everything else
2:52:31
but we also occasionally get rats and we wouldn't care to be honest like if we
2:52:37
just saw a stray rat now and again it would be fine but rats don't ever chill
2:52:42
out they're always eating too much and they always have gigantic litters so
2:52:48
if you see just one or two rats they start breeding out of control when they have a
2:52:53
present food source so there's been times where we've had almost 50 or it
2:52:59
could have been 100 rats in this year good lord that big of a yard and we say yeah so we had to start
2:53:05
putting out poison everywhere and my my family hates poison you know we're
2:53:10
all very live and let live and we would have given anything to have done anything else but there was literally no
2:53:16
choice rats made us kill them because they just couldn't live in balance with everything else yeah
2:53:24
so are we like rats jacob is that what you're getting at um that wouldn't say inherently no
2:53:32
if we are rats are cannibals the poison um maybe they could keep us all in line by
2:53:39
picking us off one by one see what i mean more pro-cannibalism
2:53:46
i mean uh the anne rice books were a little bit like that i actually read one or two of them
2:53:52
they had at least lestat you know tom cruise played him in the movie where he would he would pick off criminals so
2:53:57
he'd try to sort of justify it to himself that he's like oh well yeah i'm killing people and
2:54:02
drinking their blood but these people suck so you know it's fine yeah i feel like that's pretty reasonable
2:54:10
at least he was thinking about it i mean like a vampire is just like a like sexier cannibal
2:54:18
yeah it's a more specific cannibal yeah that was actually a question i was going to ask you about
2:54:24
you know which do you think this is more of is this more a vampire movie or is this more a werewolf movie uh and i only
2:54:31
ask uh because the when to go part of it makes it seem like the escalating danger and the
2:54:38
inability to control yourself feels very werewolfish sure
2:54:44
but the weird hidden connections and the preying on people and looking down on them all feels very vampirish yeah if i
2:54:51
had to choose i would say it's more vampire-ish it does feel i i think i agree it feels
2:54:57
more like a like a vampire movie yeah so there you have it folks
2:55:03
yeah this is like basically twilight it all kind of yeah
2:55:10
don't say that it's it's a it's a it's a tale about cannibal friendship oh yeah that's what
2:55:16
i would agree with i would agree with that last time we were actually talking about the movie
2:55:23
floyd was non-fatally stabbed so they park him in front of a fireplace you know with the
2:55:28
stew in it they're all eating their stew and they're just kind of eyeballing him seeing if whether he'll eat or he'll
2:55:34
just choose to bleed out and die yeah and i i don't know that it would be as immediate as all that but i think in a
2:55:39
in a cinematic sense you have to show you know very explicitly that he's like straight up dying right then and there
2:55:45
and he's only going to live if he eats this stew yeah and so he's like spurting up blood and
2:55:52
he's swaying around and guy pierce plays it huge yeah like he's going like
2:55:57
cross-eyed with pain and you know and maybe hunger i'm not sure what it is or maybe terror
2:56:04
i was just thinking afterwards never in my life did i think i would see a movie
2:56:09
where a cross-eyed guy pierce would just be hungrily eating stew
2:56:15
yes no it's a very specific kind of scene
2:56:20
he plays it so big yeah i was just thinking it actually helps the movie that's the other thing i mean that's the
2:56:26
bizarreness it's it's like these big performances are offsetting the cannibalism
2:56:32
yeah i could i could i can agree with that like if cannibalism were a set piece on
2:56:39
a table you know it would be big and would be ridiculous and getting in the way so it's like you have to put big
2:56:44
stuff around it to just make it look normal or or reasonable sure you know
2:56:49
yeah you have to put things that are almost the same size you know so it all scales correctly
2:56:55
so you got to have people just like coughing up blood and just swaying around looking like they're going to vomit while they're eating stew
2:57:06
long story short he hits the stew and he feels better so he they chain him to a wall while he uh recuperates
2:57:13
heart comes in he looks much better now he actually looks great he's the best that uh
2:57:18
you know that what'd you call him the pedophile yeah it's the best he's ever yeah
2:57:24
okay look i didn't call him the pedophile he is a pedophile
2:57:31
like like i didn't just i didn't just make that up like i always count with child pornography it's like i'm like i'm
2:57:39
sorry but it's not slander it's true yeah that's just what he is
2:57:47
boyd asks to be unchained hearts asks him if he is to be trusted and boyd's
2:57:52
like absolutely not and uh heart does it anyway i think he just likes heart or not heart i think
2:57:59
heart likes boy while they're talking heart brings out
2:58:04
those walnuts he's had since the beginning of the movie you know he had such trouble with him in the beginning and now he can just crush them in the
2:58:10
palm of one of his hands yes
2:58:15
which is pretty cool honestly yeah you know honestly the most depressing thing about this this scene and this is
2:58:22
a sad scene in general but hart mentions that you know all of his books were taken away because he was presumed dead
2:58:29
so he's got nothing to read you know for basically his immortal life i don't know if you're an immortal with
2:58:36
with cannibalism powers but i'm sure it probably extends your life yeah
2:58:41
and this is that scene where i mentioned before this is a there's almost nothing in the scene except for an american flag
2:58:47
in the corner yeah and boyd starts listing all the people
2:58:52
that died so that they might live and hearts just like i don't want to hear it
2:58:57
we have to kill we have to kill to live
2:59:03
what is this thomas hobbes up in this in the up in this piece that's some house
2:59:09
so that's pretty good
2:59:27
just yeah it was it's such a weird thing to say i guess i think it's hard it's daunting on heart
2:59:33
maybe slowly that his life is gonna be just unbearable in this cannibal
2:59:38
existence you know he's gonna have to just keep killing people and he's he was a soft nice man
2:59:45
who liked to read academic books you know and just get quiet enjoyment from them
2:59:51
and all the while while they're having this conversation ives is out on the wall he's got a periscope or a telescope
2:59:58
or whatever they call it and uh he's uh watching people come back it's martha and the two men again lindis and general
3:00:05
slauson i think yeah he just says breakfast
3:00:10
lunch and reinforcements uh another wonderful line
3:00:16
oh no i mean yeah just everything everything is gold coming out of calhoun
3:00:22
ives's mouth yeah heart frees boyd
3:00:27
when a boy says he's going to kill ives but he he frees him on the condition
3:00:33
that boyd kills heart first because you just can't live this way
3:00:38
this is a very quick turnaround and i suppose you could have had all of this happen after the course of weeks or
3:00:44
months or even years they could have had it where they were just running the fort for a while but i like that they condense everything
3:00:50
down to like all right well this would eventually happen so we're just gonna have it happen like immediately yeah
3:00:57
let's just skip right to it so yeah heart has remorse
3:01:02
boyd takes his weird walnut dagger i don't know why he had it
3:01:07
yeah it's weird because it almost it looks almost like a size yeah i was gonna say it looks like a like a sigh it's it's an odd looking dagger
3:01:15
maybe he actually got it from some weird market or something i mean he's kind of a worldly fellow he could have even
3:01:20
gotten it from asia yeah like yeah could be either that or i think it might be one
3:01:27
of those peri daggers that they use for like rapier sword fights especially when you're training oh sure it helps you
3:01:33
like it might help disarm the opponent i'm not positive it's possible i'm not really a sword guy
3:01:42
boyd goes up and stabs him in the throat and just just a fountain of syrupy blood
3:01:47
pours out yeah it's good it just covers the window
3:01:53
he really dies yeah well it's interesting because it's
3:01:58
it's sort of the only kind of suicide he could do because he he's cowardly enough he can't do it himself but yeah he he
3:02:04
doesn't make any real effort to not bleed to death he just sort of limply holds his wound
3:02:10
and it's weird because he's so hail and hearty and it's like such healthy looking blood
3:02:15
it almost doesn't seem that bad it's just almost like he's just sort of falling asleep yeah
3:02:20
he's just like oh that stings all right i'm passing out
3:02:28
i mean i guess it was the nicest way to kill them besides maybe decapitation or something
3:02:34
but you know they don't have a lot of resources at this crappy little fort yeah
3:02:39
you work with what you got exactly ives discovers the mess through the
3:02:44
window boyd attacks him with knox's sword then ives flees out into the courtyard
3:02:52
well then they basically just have like a long drawn-out fight i don't know if there's any specific parts you want to point out along the way no
3:02:59
it's really more of a conclusion than others well yeah i mean they're essentially vampires at this point in the sense that
3:03:06
the wounds they inflict on one another are not that damaging or effective yeah
3:03:12
so they both take turns stabbing each other boyd stabs ives with a pitchfork
3:03:18
and then uh ive stabbed boyd with a with that sigh or dagger or whatever it is
3:03:25
they drop a roof on ives uh boyd beats him with a log at one point
3:03:32
and uh oh i forgot uh when he was looking for when he was looking for ives
3:03:38
boyd saw an enormous bear trap yes
3:03:43
and i just wrote chekhov's bear trap and it's like you can't have a bear trap and then not use that bear trap uh no first
3:03:49
camp while he's doing this ives puts a bloody cross on his forehead out by the
3:03:54
blacksmith equipment i don't know why he does that it looks creepy i was going to say it looks cool yeah i
3:04:00
mean there is that so he's just like yeah i'll do this while i'm waiting
3:04:06
and uh so i guess boyd surreptitiously set up the bear trap because they they fight their way into that room
3:04:13
and ives grabs him and they're in sort of a power hug yeah
3:04:18
yes and boyd trips him into the bear trap and the the best part of that is that it
3:04:25
doesn't trigger it so like they're laying on the bear trap and they're both just on top of it and then boyd has to like grab iv's head
3:04:33
and just bonk it against the pressure and then the bear trap comes down on
3:04:39
them and so they just lay there both bleeding out crushed in a in a big horrible bear
3:04:46
trap uh yes not great and ive says that was very
3:04:52
sneaky i mean i guess it might have been more sneaky if he had
3:04:58
only gotten you with it but then again does he really want to live i mean maybe this is for the best thing yeah they
3:05:04
both check out maybe and they have this weird kind of insane
3:05:10
conversation where ives is just like well listen if if you die first i'm eating you and i'm gonna get better
3:05:17
so the question is if i die first will you eat me
3:05:22
and i was just thinking like well why can't you just eat him now i mean do you care are you being so polite that you're gonna wait till he dies to eat him why
3:05:29
not just like eat his face while he's laying there i mean that would have been so much more gruesome and horrible
3:05:35
just like chewing on his cheek
3:05:41
i gladly didn't do that it's an alternative
3:05:46
if nothing else is a gentleman he's like i'm not gonna i'm not gonna feed on a living man i mean that's just outrageous
3:05:54
i don't know maybe he feels like he like one of more if like
3:05:59
bleeding you know yeah so while they're laying there dying general slauson finds the stew and
3:06:06
drinks some of it this is just the movie being gross you know and honestly i'm i'm fine with it
3:06:13
yeah like all right sure let's do that
3:06:18
some yummy long pig stew oh yeah i'm actually super sad to see ives die
3:06:25
he does die first yes he has a really long sad reluctant death
3:06:32
rattle yeah i have to say just in movies in general death rattles are unusual to
3:06:37
hear people don't usually think of that because when you die you let out your last breath and it's almost like a sigh
3:06:42
of relief yeah it's like ah and he actually does one and it's long
3:06:47
and it's like he it's like he just really doesn't want to die you know but he does
3:06:52
like he just reluctantly fades away and it made me sad it was like oh man he's gone yeah
3:07:00
it was a cool death though no it was yeah and boyd looks at his face in kind of a
3:07:06
weird way for a while i guess debating whether to eat him and he just sort of makes a decision for
3:07:11
himself he's like yeah i think i'm done here i think i'll just die all right later everyone
3:07:17
and it starts playing that plinky uh banjo again i think it's called boyd's journey yeah
3:07:25
[Music]
3:07:33
martha finds them in the bear trap she's lifting through the door she's like all right this is cool i'm leaving now yeah
3:07:39
she doesn't help him at all what do you even say okay well she knows i mean he was talking
3:07:45
about the wendigo thing wait does she know about ives though
3:07:51
i mean did she know he was a cannibal i think she would probably i was thinking if she knew that both of them were
3:07:58
cannibals then what she does in the movie makes sense and is cool she's like ah well hell with them i'm glad they're
3:08:03
gone you know i think she's if she only if she only saw the one and maybe she's
3:08:10
just like well whatever i'm just gonna let this play itself out i i think she knew i mean i feel like
3:08:17
she displays enough wisdom and you know where with all and
3:08:23
to like i think you know yeah for whatever reason she's just like well
3:08:30
i'm i'm just gonna let this just happened right over here i
3:08:35
i have to imagine that sometime later general slauson and lindis would walk in there and just be like what is this oh
3:08:41
my god holy [ __ ] no
3:08:46
now we're going to get more dysfunctional weirdos yeah yeah
3:08:52
and then he'll eat more stew like oh man i got so stressed out i got to eat more
3:09:00
so the camera pulls out from their dead bodies and and you see just how enormous
3:09:05
the bear trap really is and uh the movie plays it out and basically that's it i mean uh yeah
3:09:13
you see some mountain ranges the beauty of the countryside of wherever this was filmed i guess
3:09:18
slovakia probably and uh yeah i mean uh
3:09:24
it's great movie it moves fast and it goes down easy uh yeah
3:09:30
i mean i mean i feel like we've been pretty good about praising the movie i i
3:09:35
liked it a lot you know i i mean it's interesting because i uh
3:09:41
it's been a while since i've seen this movie and i remember having like vaguely like positive feelings about it
3:09:47
but like watching it again i'm like yeah this is pretty good yeah i would say that guy pierce is good
3:09:54
but uh robert carlisle is enthralling as uh i've seen like he's he's wonderful
3:10:00
yeah i don't think you could have made this movie with the same
3:10:05
level of quality with anyone else he's perfect for the role yeah i mean that also really helps carry
3:10:12
the movie because the subject matter is so gross you need someone really charismatic to kind of carry you over
3:10:18
that you know yeah you get past it so
3:10:23
i looked it up and uh you want to guess what what this has on rotten tomatoes before i tell you uh it's probably
3:10:30
pretty low yeah it is it's 48 uh that's
3:10:35
uh [ __ ] by the way well i wouldn't say that but it is an
3:10:41
act well yeah actually yeah it's a travesty it's it is sad um i think maybe it's just
3:10:48
the exploitative nature of the film the silliness and the grossness of the well
3:10:54
cannibalism is never gonna get a great response i think uh silence of the lambs will be the only time something like
3:11:00
that will win an award yeah well yeah so you know there's only so much you can
3:11:06
do with you know with what you got here sure oh this also got 46 on medic ready
3:11:13
so i guess the critics liked it slightly less overall well all right
3:11:19
they're entitled to clear opinion you want to give it your rating
3:11:26
um god that's like
3:11:32
so like where where are we doing the reading like what's like well i forgotten already huh well no well because we've
3:11:38
changed it what was that what was our earlier metric at least once i was just well it's one to ten uh by
3:11:45
what it aspired to be you know what it attempted to do i guess you could say it's it's
3:11:51
functional utility as a horror film god that's really like that's hard to say because like i'm not sure
3:12:00
i mean i guess it's hard to say like what they were trying to do i mean i like the results but the intent is uh
3:12:08
it's obfuscated for me yeah well i i think i might also factor in maybe the overall success is at least
3:12:15
part of it i guess i mean like i mean i like so i guess
3:12:21
by that metric i would maybe rate it like a seven
3:12:27
but i like the move i like the movie more than that you know
3:12:32
interesting well i would say that the uh i think this
3:12:37
movie is a blast it's a it's actually a semi-decent period piece yeah i mean for what it is
3:12:43
it's just funny enough to balance out all the gruesome subject matter it's uh probably my favorite movie about
3:12:50
cannibalism i mean outside of silence of the lamb yeah so hmm i think i might be rating this
3:12:57
high but i'm gonna go with eight out of ten okay that's how much i like it uh it's marked down mostly because it was a
3:13:03
critical and financial failure you probably
3:13:08
wanted to do more with it i just think that for what it is it's actually a very successful
3:13:14
version of this film i don't i don't know how to describe that i mean it's for what they were trying to do i think
3:13:21
the story is very effective it's very clean and very lean it's like it gets to the point it gives you what you want it
3:13:26
gets out you know it doesn't overstay as well yeah
3:13:33
like when i first uh re-watched it i it was like kind of surprising and it was like oh wait it's over
3:13:40
because cuz you just kind of go with the flow yeah the movie goes very quick when
3:13:47
you're watching effortless i would say sure why not
3:13:54
okay so once again i tracked down the the imdb keywords
3:13:59
okay all right there's there's 197 plot keywords in total
3:14:05
i'm not going to be reading all that i i'm only doing the first 20. okay all right
3:14:11
sometimes i don't know if it prioritizes which are more brought up or if this is just totally random but
3:14:17
even if it is i still find this to be pretty fun so we'll just see how well this summarizes the middle here
3:14:24
okay so cannibalism yeah yeah obviously
3:14:31
cannibal sure homoeroticism yes
3:14:39
oh there's effect number three that being number three is so good yeah
3:14:45
yeah twirling one's mustache
3:14:51
oh good but it does does anyone do that he does do it i think ives does yeah i think yeah yeah
3:15:00
is someone keeping count of a mustache twirling film i i don't know but that's i like that it's a thing
3:15:08
i hope i hope that's true that'd be amazing uh mexican-american war
3:15:15
sure yeah i guess i just mentioned talking to a corpse
3:15:20
yeah i do love i don't i love when he's talking to to his corpse
3:15:26
you're safe now when to go sure
3:15:33
intestines uh boy and how inhale
3:15:40
bear trap yeah yep us frontier yep
3:15:48
on true story uh i i mean like
3:15:54
i mean i like that it's in here but that's not no yeah i mean i guess like in a very very very loose sense
3:16:02
yeah it's very loosely based off of alfred packer and a little bit of donner party yeah
3:16:08
if only alfred packer had had superpowers yeah he'd be alive today
3:16:16
feasting on people the world would be a much better place
3:16:22
clearly you'd be cheating people out of other things okay so next uh chicken
3:16:31
there are chickens and a heart does talk to them at one point he says flee flee for your lives
3:16:37
as he's walking past them oh well that's right he really does
3:16:42
yeah why are you saving nothing because somebody cared about chickens enough to make yes
3:16:48
chickens uh walnut sure so yeah
3:16:54
malnutrition yes sure uh weeping
3:17:04
insanity i mean yeah yeah it kind of comes with the territory sure
3:17:11
american soldier yeah title directed by female yes
3:17:18
yeah i mean that's true uh united states army sure and uh yeah last but not least
3:17:26
victorian era uh that's probably true i don't actually remember the time in which queen
3:17:32
victoria is alive it was around here that's good sure i don't care
3:17:38
whatever i thought originally i thought it'd be funny to make a joke about saying that the victorian era was when
3:17:44
king edward was in charge but uh i will not make that okay well i also don't care about uh the queen so
3:17:53
yeah well yeah for the uh yeah there's the edwardian period which i think is after the victoria i
3:18:00
don't know uh for the record this podcast is uh anti-monarchist
3:18:05
yeah we don't want to have to keep track of the the reigning times of your silly
3:18:12
frivolous leaders we want some dates something we can all
3:18:18
agree on i don't want to know about the lifespan of your pope or your whatever yeah it's it it's honestly [ __ ]
3:18:27
it's the jewish calendar or nothing i'm just kidding have you ever looked up the jewish calendar it's totally nuts i
3:18:33
think it's like at the year three or four thousand now or something yeah i have um
3:18:38
i don't i don't remember what it is but it's something really bizarre yes
3:18:44
um so yeah i think that about wraps it up yeah yeah
3:18:49
i mean you would recommend this movie oh yeah absolutely yeah i'm a sucker for a good soundtrack
3:18:55
and i i don't think we've mentioned it enough but the soundtrack for this movie isn't oh yeah you show this movie to your family by the way
3:19:02
yeah don't tell them what it is just let them guess what it's going to be while it's playing yeah
3:19:08
it's like it's like it's like playing a fun little prank
3:19:15
i i really would recommend you check out this movie as long as you feel you have the stomach for it as it
3:19:21
were so so until next time
3:19:27
i've been peter
and i'm jacob still
3:19:34
and this has been gorman on gore later
3:19:40
[Music] [Laughter]
3:19:48
[Music]
3:20:07
[Music]
3:20:21
that's so annoying
English (auto-generated)