Gorman On Gore EP5 Malignant (2021)

You must see Malignant to believe it. A spectacle if ever there was one, Malignant is a daring new film by horror heavyweight director James Wan. The jury is still out but we here at Gorman on Gore think this one might be on its way to becoming some kind of cult classic. It is not for everyone, but we would gladly have a beer with anyone who does, in fact, enjoy this crazy, crazy film.

On this emergency episode of Gorman on Gore, we discuss what little we know of why this film exists. We come up with numerous movies and shows that brought up similar themes, but which cannot be described here without spoiling the crazy twist. Just know that it is pretty out there, and that you should not allow yourself to be spoiled until you're good and ready! Of course, we  spoil everything, so brace yourself!


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Transcript

0:02
aah [Applause]
0:08
[Music]
0:15
[Music]
0:36
hello everybody welcome back we've got something special for you this week we've got us an emergency episode from
0:44
the future this is gorman on gore i'm your host peter gorman with me once again is my co-host jacob
0:53
how you doing jacob
 uh i'm doing all right i mean i feel i know actually yeah but
0:58
so i still have that's not entirely true i do feel like i'm coming down with something so
1:04
really you got the 'rona jacob 
no i mean no i'm all like
1:10
i don't know do you get like a runny nose from coronavirus i don't think you do
1:15
yeah you do but uh you also get runny nose from like any number of other things yeah it could just be the
1:20
changing of the weather i noticed like i get a bit runny nose from just going into fall and that's where we are folks
1:27
see we recorded a big old backlog of episodes and i'll eventually get back to
1:33
them but we just finally had some decent premieres of horror movies and we just felt compelled
1:40
to to come in on short notice and just you know share our thoughts about one of
1:45
one of the more recent ones i hope you enjoy this fancy new mic that
1:51
i'm on which i eventually get in the older episodes like it's this is weird because it's like you you you're seeing
1:56
me from the future which is your present you know
2:04
how you doing jacob you said you're sick yeah yeah he said i'm like feel not that great
2:10
i did make a nice uh szechuan mala sauce earlier and i'm
2:17
feeling pretty happy about that oh yeah um i just had my apples finish for the
2:23
the the season although i have like five different varieties i got one of those apple trees
2:28
that have five different branches with five different types of apples and so they don't all kind of get
2:34
ripe at the same time so i i picked a whole bunch because they started falling off of the branches so i
2:40
was like well whatever that's good enough i don't actually know if they're good or not like that's close enough
2:47
they're a little bit green but i i they can still ripen a bit out in a basket and you know in my house so that you
2:52
know it's fine yeah you know it's it's it's fall you know all of the harvests are coming in
2:57
the the weather's changing it's getting cold outside it's time to just you know curl up and
3:04
and watch a horror movie on a streaming service because you don't have the the bravery
3:10
to go out into public and see it in a theater just yet i was actually i was looking and
3:17
it is going to be such like when i work up the the nerve to actually go to a movie theater is going to be such a pain
3:24
yeah there's nothing close oh isn't there no it's a
3:30
it's a bummer i was so close you know because today we're doing a malignant
3:35
you know which is out in theaters uh right now as of recording yeah and uh i was so close i was so close to going
3:42
to theaters i was literally about to walk out and then i just like well i don't want
3:48
to say like i curled up in the fetal position but i was just like i've been dreading this all week like i just really don't want to go
3:55
so you know what i'm just going to bite the bullet and i'm just going to i'm just going to get the subscription to hbo max it's half off right now
4:02
for like 10 days so like hopefully i can get this thrown together to where like maybe it'll benefit someone listening
4:07
and they're like hey i could just get this for seven bucks instead of 15 for the ad free and then i could watch whatever you want
4:14
but i'm i don't have enough faith in myself i don't think that's gonna happen but you know we'll see we'll see so by
4:20
september 26th of 2021 you know that's when the deal ends one way or the other
4:25
so if it's past that day i'm sorry yeah you missed it you should have paid better attention
4:31
you filthy animals so apparently amazon just kicked five
4:38
million people off of you know the the hbo end of their services
4:44
on prime like they finally just dis detached everyone and so that they have
4:49
this deal going right now to just try to lure people in they're like hey let's half off just please
4:55
please buy our service yeah please please there's so many of you
5:00
who have just left we we have the snyder cut please tell you please come back
5:07
um i don't i didn't see the new suicide squad movie i don't think that it's on the service which is a bummer maybe it's already
5:13
come and gone yeah i saw it on there well it's only oh well i think it's um i think it's
5:20
only for like 31 days after debut and then it goes away for a while so it might have come and gone it's it's
5:27
possible uh i saw the crappy one that no one cares about yes
5:33
birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of harley quinzell or whatever that one's
5:39
called yeah that was the last lubias on theaters oh was it yeah
5:45
i think i saw the invisible man i think was the last one i saw oh damn yes
5:53
the harley quinn movie is like it's okay i don't know you know yeah
5:58
it's fine i'm sure it is i haven't seen it but it seemed okay yeah i mean didn't seem to tickle anyone's fancy but that's
6:04
not their fault yeah uh why am i forgetting this name because i just watched a movie
6:13
with him mcgregor yeah you even mcgregor's in it he's pretty good i know he's in it yeah
6:19
and we did just cover dr sleep yeah um wait oh yeah i shouldn't say that you
6:25
know i might just take that out no eventually there will be an episode on
6:30
dr sleeve you're right
6:38
yeah i cannot imagine the kind of person who would like get
6:44
upset by that you you
6:50
you spoiling that we eventually cover that that's that's that's too much it'll
6:55
drop people crazy i guess no you'll be like when's it coming out you son of a [ __ ] okay first drop these
7:03
promises just playing with our emotions pier not enough people listen to this podcast
7:09
to care about that absolutely not no but you know you know one day and also you know what
7:15
i don't i don't care you know what reality is going to be telling me about any of this i'm just going to live my life as if okay
7:21
people give a damn you know maybe you got to fake it till you make it jacob that's how this works all right or you
7:27
just fake it until you die i mean either way so you know i get satisfaction out of cover in these
7:33
movies i hope other people enjoy listening to me covering these movies you know and with you covering them as well
7:40
you know for now it's for us for each other
7:45
and perhaps our extended family and friends whoever cares enough to listen to us blather on about horror movies
7:50
just you know whatever but you know what people might actually really be excited for this one because we're we're doing
7:57
something hot off the presses this is literally came out a week ago yeah well i think it's technically eight days as
8:03
of recording well yeah yeah which we should get around to because that's what this whole episode is about
8:09
and this is going to be kind of a short one this is just sort of an emergency podcast we just wanna we wanna just
8:14
discuss this yeah this was jacob's idea so you have him to thank for this
8:20
so i didn't i didn't write my usual long ass notes uh but yeah short and sweet
8:26
i mean peter how could we not i mean
8:31
now that i've seen it i actually agree and we can and will get into here's the thing
8:37
okay dereliction of any audience who somehow doesn't know yeah whoever doesn't know that somehow
8:45
you know that you clicked on an episode but didn't see what it was or maybe you're playing through on a playlist or
8:50
you are stuck in a car with somebody who's playing this and they care but you don't so i
8:56
however you you're hearing this sweet listener uh we're covering the 2021 film
9:03
malignant uh with uh what is that lady's name annabelle wallace or something oh well i
9:11
feel like i'm saying it wrong i know it is annabelle wallace man oh i'm batting a thousand first guess and i'm right
9:18
oh man that lady is from that yeah she's from the the tom cruise mummy
9:24
movie she's like the leading lady in that film and as far as i know that's it i mean i
9:30
i don't think she's done anything else really at least not not notable yeah let me let me click on her
9:35
thingy uh maybe she was an animal yeah it was gonna say
9:42
sorry uh whichever is that oh it's the first annabelle 2014. yeah so so she's no no
9:50
no stranger to horror and she also played apparently she's willing to put up with the exhaustive special effects that were
9:57
in this movie yeah yeah what else was she in
10:02
it she was an x-men first class as someone named amy i don't remember that
10:08
i don't i don't know yeah i've seen that movie more than once and i don't remember her being in it yeah i
10:14
wonder if she's like just standing in the background you know like before she's like famous yeah could be
10:19
i mean not to miss merch you know no she she's good in this oh here at least wait is she good in this i think she's good
10:26
in this i think she is good in this yeah although there are some yeah she
10:31
plays madison mitchell a crazy lady with strange past that nobody
10:37
understands even the people who have lived with her for years nobody knows anything about this woman
10:42
it is so strange it's like nobody's explored anything about her
10:48
you know or spoiler alert like looked into anything about her you know if you know what i mean like
10:54
yeah i don't want to get into it okay so this will be a spoiler podcast here on gorman on gore we're you know we're
11:00
horror podcasts we cover an entire movie scene by scene we spoil everything
11:06
so i'm going to be giving away all the goods on this however because this is a shorter episode we'll just be covering
11:13
you know surface thoughts impressions just things i saw i you know this is not a as exhaustive
11:19
and exhaust and exhausting as the normal gorman and gore podcast we do this is
11:25
just more light and easy breezy you know we're just going to float through i'm just going to tell you about about the
11:30
the fun roller coaster ride that is this movie uh yes i have to say the trailers do not give
11:36
this movie justice they were so wrong in the way that they did this these trailers they were done so dirty
11:43
you know what i i think it might actually benefit the movie yes but i think it's true no yeah i was
11:50
gonna say i'm so glad i came in thinking it was just gonna be another like kind
11:56
of like austere kind of like the conjuring
12:01
you know like yeah yeah and it's just another self-serious
12:06
earnest film yeah you know yeah which i mean like you know nothing wrong with that but it means
12:14
yes from time to time yeah i mean like this movie is not bad i mean like
12:21
like it gets insane and there's like is it there there's no
12:27
it doesn't there's like a certain turning point but it starts like yeah also very wacky well i was about to say
12:34
no like i don't think it ever turns i think it starts insane and then it just gets like crazier
12:41
i was so thrown off by that first scene that i like i thought it was like i thought it was a joke like
12:48
yeah you know like in certain movies they'll have like a cold open and they're doing like a bad movie and and
12:54
then they're like oh hey cut cut oh you're out you know you're out of frame or you know whatever like that kind of a
12:59
thing where like you know something weird's happening or like you know how like on certain movies or tv shows
13:04
you'll see a movie or tv show in that movie or tv show and it's even more removed from reality and there's like no
13:10
effort put into it that's that's kind of how the beginning felt to me i'm just like what is this
13:17
um it was it gives a gives off real strong like grind house vibes you know like planet
13:22
terror like it feels very much like that where it's just it's way like
13:28
stratospherically like out there like vibes you know just crazy yeah i mean it's also kind of funny because um
13:36
i do think the main actors are all pretty good
13:41
but in this well i think i think so uh but
13:48
the doctor characters are just really hammered up
13:55
in this first scene yeah no they they they really are um yeah i was a little embarrassed
14:03
i don't know he i feel bad saying that because i i i don't know i have very mixed and complex
14:09
feelings about this movie and i'm going to have trouble articulating it
14:14
because like i'm repelled and attracted to the movie at the same time like it keeps pulling me back and
14:19
forth you're just like oh oh oh
14:24
you know like i don't know it's real hard is that's interesting because it's an
14:30
emotional roller coaster my feelings about this movie are unambiguous
14:36
i love this one really i love this movie it's
14:41
like peter find me a bigger horror movie released in uh 2021 i don't think he can
14:47
do it uh well i haven't seen candy man yet but i assume that's better
14:53
maybe you know what i haven't seen it i don't know
15:08
yeah i think malignant will end up winning out in the end i mean i don't want to skip to the end
15:14
but uh the box office does not agree with you jacob so uh it didn't do very well okay yeah i don't
15:21
care because i mean look i mean like for one thing like they're not gonna make a sequel to
15:27
this no well and they shouldn't they should okay here's the thing i'm gonna say
15:34
things that are mean about this movie but i'm also gonna say that i very very badly want a sequel to this movie i
15:41
want a sequel to this so bad there must be more of this
15:49
god maybe i like i i don't know like i don't it's like i i want i want this i want
15:56
this to go on i mean we'll have to uh i will have to explain why later i mean we haven't even got into anything no no
16:02
so yeah so so let's get into it all right shall we
16:07
oh before we do uh i do have the trailer for this let me see if i push the right button
16:14
prepare yourselves everybody are we going to risk that for getting it removed yeah i'm going to try and you
16:20
know what if it doesn't work i'm just gonna take it out later so you know i might have to just take out this whole
16:26
part where i'm discussing it but whatever um yeah because this just came out if the copyright police are gonna
16:32
come after me this will definitely be the time so you know you may never hear this episode at all or if you do it
16:38
might be all cut to hell and i apologize in advance guys i'm doing my best here i don't know how this crap works
16:44
so yeah um this is an abbreviated trailer anyway i didn't want to listen to the whole thing it just takes too long sure
16:50
you don't need a trailer for this when i was young
16:56
something happened to me stop saying that daddy who are you
17:01
talking to gabriel is he your imaginary friend
17:06
whatever you went through before you joined our family it hurts you in a way that i can't even imagine
17:13
you created him what's going on so that you could survive oh yeah i
17:18
forgot that's it that goes into a part with james wan trying to explain himself there's like another two minutes of
17:24
trailer but i'm like yeah that's enough whatever i
17:29
okay the i will say uh there's something that i i like about this
17:35
project i i just learned today and i thought it was very cute
17:41
that uh it's like this is basically like james one using his
17:47
i guess hollywood clout to uh because this is like i guess this was like his wife's idea
17:54
he was like oh yeah i'm gonna like i'm gonna help you out with this and be like really supportive and i thought you know
17:59
what that's that's really cute i appreciate that uh you know they did that for her
18:06
okay yeah that's interesting i you know that explains a lot to me actually
18:15
i mean that being said i okay so yeah well i was gonna say i i appreciate the fact that he will
18:23
james one will like do weird stuff like this every now and then like he'll do kind of be like
18:30
expected stuff yeah like hey you know here's a new here's a new animal
18:37
i'm doing another one jesus of course they're doing enough yeah yeah
18:42
how could they not they can't stop making money no i know but then yeah then he'll go like do something like uh
18:49
you know malignant or like yeah i mean i guess this one's still like pretty mainstream but it is very
18:55
funny that james won i don't i don't i don't know that it is it pretended to be to get people to
19:02
watch it and that's what's so funny about it it's like this is some real out there stuff this oh
19:07
what i was saying is that like yeah but then he'll also do stuff that's like
19:13
really not to what you can his like type
19:18
the fact he's doing like another aquaman movie yeah he's right in the middle of doing
19:23
that yeah it's like that's great because that doesn't feel like the kind of thing he
19:29
would do you know yeah it also means that he probably won't be finished by this movie if it
19:35
doesn't do well he'll be fine oh yeah definitely not
19:41
i mean uh you know you know like with like insidious animal he he's making studios
19:47
too much money for them to ever want to stop yeah
19:52
a note that just keeps popping up throughout my notes it's just the same sentiment over and
19:58
over again i kept writing is this a real film who paid for this
20:04
whose idea was this like why did they pay for why did they green light this yeah that was the other
20:09
one i mean i have to and it's strange do you want me to tell you what i thought the
20:15
movie was going to be before i found out what the movie actually is uh go for it
20:20
yeah well okay i thought this was a more yeah this is a more serious film you
20:26
know in the vein of something self-serious like the conjuring or whatever and it was about a woman
20:32
seeing visions being sent to her from like a remote location by something evil that was tied to her
20:39
from her childhood you know maybe she made a deal with the demon or or her parents did you know all of those
20:44
paranormal films where those are i don't know why those have so many demons in them but they do
20:50
so yeah i thought it was something like that um it reminded me or at least the trailers did of there's this old movie i
20:57
think it's blink from 1993 i was trying to look it up and it's about um i think that was madeline stowe where she's
21:04
blind and then she she gains vision but she sees things in weird ways because it's kind of coming to her
21:11
slowly and so she witnesses a murderer and then like visions from the murderer
21:16
seem to come to her after the fact i i thought i don't know if that's the right movie but i thought there was one where a
21:22
murderer was like sending her visions and as soon as he figured out that that's what was happening he was enjoying it like torturing someone else
21:29
with visions of badness you know the things he's doing you're like ah now i'll make you watch this
21:35
that's what i thought this movie was this is not that movie uh this movie
21:41
isn't really like anything i mean okay actually there's one or two things it's almost exactly like but like yeah
21:47
none of those things are normal well none of them you would expect to see
21:54
in a movie like this that you spent 40 million dollars made
22:00
in 2012 21. there are a couple of though look at this like one specific movie
22:05
that i feel like it's there was clearly some kind of influence
22:11
but it's insane even yeah yeah we'll we'll get into it we can't mention it now because
22:17
oh yeah so yeah let's let's begin the movie you know as such as it is i mean we're
22:22
just going to kind of gloss over yeah this was made by new line cinema my sweet baby i'm so i'm so happy to see
22:30
the the house that freddie built you know just continuing to churn out some just real strange over-the-top movies
22:37
you know like i'm proud of them way to go guys the first scene starts in arkham asylum
22:44
aka the simeon research hospital and you know it's not simeon as in like
22:49
ape it's simeon spelled s-i-m-i-o-n i i don't know why they did
22:55
that it's so confusing to me i thought it was an ape research lab but no it's probably
23:00
just some guy named simeon yeah i have no idea yeah
23:07
this is ins by the way uh this is one of those movies i i just read an article the other day about all of the
23:14
horror movies that are associated with with the 50 states of the us and the one that they usually go to for
23:22
washington state is the ring oh yeah and uh because yeah actually i still think that
23:28
that's the best one however this movie malignant is the second best it it it
23:34
gives us like more things than we deserve for instance the simeon research hospital it's like this gigantic like
23:41
it looks like it's 200 feet tall building yeah it looks like it was designed by evo
23:47
shandor the follower of gozer like he was supposed to summon spirits through the building or something yeah
23:53
where did all this money come from in like the 20s or whenever when you could just build a giant castle on the the
24:00
edifice of a of a cliff like over like you know the the coast of washington
24:06
state like i love it but it's totally false you know all of our stuff is pretty you
24:12
know low low to the ground i mean you know we're kind of a new state you know it took people a while to get here you
24:17
know yeah and the first people who got here were cheap let's be let's be let's be honest here guys
24:23
yeah but yeah for those who care it's a it's a it's a washington state uh horror movie i don't
24:30
know why they did that i mean maybe just because they wanted to talk about the seattle underground for a while that was
24:35
that was weird when they started doing that yeah that came out of nowhere yeah
24:41
but yeah we're not there yet yeah i don't want to diverge too much so at first we get a real kooky hospital scene
24:46
where someone off screen named gabriel is flipping out and all of these people
24:52
are going to try to subdue him and he kills a lot of people i don't remember exactly how it goes
24:58
like i said i didn't write this all down this time these are just my surface thoughts but but yeah this is what i first wrote uh
25:03
what the hell is this movie is this a real film creep show lighting because everyone's
25:08
lit in like bright red like through the whole like beginning part i don't know if you guys have ever seen
25:14
creep show i mean you should it's not very good but but it's a classic and it has this
25:20
wonderful thing where they try to imitate comic books where when something terrible happens they change the
25:25
lighting so there's an extreme red and maybe an extreme blue on either side of their face you know as they're doing a
25:30
scream like ah and it like fades in real hot yeah it's like that in this you know this
25:37
movie that i thought was going to be serious and everything's bright blood red lighting in this weird gothic hospital
25:44
and they're talking to a fleshy monster man who's like behind a curtain he's just like i'll get you for this he's
25:51
like talking to a radio yeah what a crazy ass beginning it is so
25:57
crazy i could not believe what i was seeing oh i know did nobody see the dailies i
26:03
was just like how did how did this happen how did this movie get made
26:09
that's another podcast but you know what i'm totally shocked like i'm pretty sure i'm sure they'll
26:14
cover it eventually i mean like i'm pretty sure to be honest but it's james one making
26:21
the you know this studio like a billion dollars the conjuring movies
26:27
yeah this is just his passion project yeah they do knock out gabriel and you see
26:34
that he's wearing panda socks on his feet they're like gray socks with like pandas on them which is i guess
26:40
like supposed to be like a very minor clue but honestly it doesn't really help at all for what happens later no yeah
26:49
i'm just reading through like the the order in which i these are just my thoughts in order and like the this next
26:55
one is once again this can't be the movie [Laughter] look like i'm just in disbelief for this
27:02
whole beginning part yeah so then they have like a bunch of these crazy like sam raimi zooms on like
27:09
you know on like uh surgical instruments and whatever and then the the lady i think her name is dr
27:14
florence weaver she's just like it's time we cut out the cancer i'm just
27:20
like well okay but you know that this thing is a person like that's that's real reductive even for something you don't
27:26
like you know like that that i didn't like that for a doctor to say uh but you
27:32
know but it is a very grandiose thing to say yeah i mean i liked it because she was
27:37
hamming it up in the best way possible yes yes she was yeah yes she was jacob
27:44
and like hot damn was that not so cold open you know because nothing has been explained
27:51
and it's so opaque for what's happening you know like because it introduces a lot of
27:56
really unbelievable concepts like there's a creature with some kind of powers that can control electricity and
28:02
lighting and stuff seems to have some kind of telekinesis seems to be able to talk through radios
28:07
and whatever it has super strength it's i don't know it's it's like you you cut
28:14
to the weirdest part of a movie well i guess that kind of is what it is but it's i don't know certain things
28:21
actually need an introduction you know like certain things probably shouldn't be a cold open
28:28
or i don't know or maybe just have it all off screen i've seen some like that where there's like i'll be back and you
28:33
know and you don't really know what's happening that kind of a thing yeah
28:39
so yeah so but anyway that's that scene and that was in 1993 so then we cut to
28:44
the right now times so i guess it's 20 21. and we have a pregnant lady home from
28:49
work i think she's a nurse i don't do do you know if she is a nurse i think she
28:55
is yeah yeah yeah i mean because like that actually
29:00
you know that comes up later because she hurts her head and then doesn't fix it you know and she's a nurse
29:06
so it's just like what are you doing like what like don't isn't this what you do i don't
29:13
understand you at all and your motives she has an abusive husband
29:18
they're miserable she's pregnant she looks real pale and unhappy and
29:24
he's real abusive and he gets real mad when she turns off an mma fight that he's watching because
29:30
it's like it's playing really loud and she's all stressed out from work she seems like a mess right from the
29:36
start and he's just like hey i was watching that and was like please i just need to take a nap i'm like having a
29:41
nervous breakdown and he's just like oh maybe it's because you you keep trying to have these kids
29:48
yeah i wrote i wrote down the line did you write down what he said to her i feel like it's one of those things
29:53
i i didn't as soon as you hear it in the movie it'll burn into your head forever i
29:58
should have just like you know um recorded the the audio but she says how many times do i have to watch my
30:03
children die inside of you i i almost did a spit take when he said
30:10
that i'm just like i know i shouldn't be laughing at that but who says that you know
30:17
no it's it's so horrible but yeah but it's also just so like just
30:23
way out of left field you're like whoa uh no he doesn't mess around
30:30
yeah and i just wrote husband really sucks and uh yeah and he does yeah um she says something to him i
30:37
don't remember what it is but he gets mad and throws her head into the into a plaster wall and like caves
30:45
in the wall a bit so it must have been some pretty substantial force you know and the back of her head is bleeding
30:52
so she locks him out you know he pleads to come back in you know but she notices that she's still
30:57
bleeding all over the place but as i said she doesn't do anything about it she just like goes to bed
31:03
and uh so her husband just sleeps out on the couch you finally start getting some good
31:08
shots of like the exterior of the house and the uh and the wooden banisters and stuff it's like it's like some house
31:14
from like the 1910s or 1920s and it's just beautiful like i love this house that they're in
31:20
their marriage is terrible but their house is is just wonderful oh yeah like i'll take the house or maybe not
31:27
the marriage but yeah the husband goes out to the kitchen when he hears a blender turn on by itself
31:35
and so he turns it off and then the the the fridge door opens by itself so this
31:40
all says telekinesis to me but they don't actually ever explain this so i don't know maybe it's well it kind of
31:46
has to be telekinesis i suppose either that or the spirit or whatever it is you know
31:52
the evil influence has to like somehow very quietly creep into a room start to
31:58
open something like a door or whatever and then leave without anyone noticing which that would be really funny if that
32:03
was the case but i don't think that's it no maybe it's one of those new smart refrigerators
32:11
where everything is electronic inside of it yeah even the door i noticed inside of the fridge there's
32:17
only take out and soda pop nobody cooks no that made me kind of sad you know they're like that their house is kind of
32:24
it's just a sign of how dysfunctional they are it's just all like pizza boxes and stuff yeah and like chinese takeout
32:30
like oh man no home-cooked meals from either of you i would have made the husband be the
32:37
the housekeeper just to like give him something because he's such a irredeemable pile of crap
32:44
they just make him nice in one way you know like before he dies because spoiler alert he's about to die everybody yeah i
32:52
mean it's a huge spoiler i feel like if you uh if you watch movies you can you know
32:58
kind of get the hint yeah i mean a lot of horror movies will have a bad character that just dies right away and this movie does that
33:05
similar thing where it sort of implies a lot of bad ongoing events and so it's almost a
33:10
relief when someone is removed from the picture yeah as awful as that sounds
33:15
so yeah he goes out to the living room and he sees like a dark shape that looks like his wife in the darkness he turns
33:21
on the light and she's not there but the cushion is rising up and i honestly don't understand that part
33:28
i mean that's amazing like for a horror movie that's awesome yeah but i don't know what that means
33:34
like maybe maybe it's telekinesis that pushed down the cushion where the shape
33:40
would have been i don't know it doesn't matter yeah but come on
33:46
it's not about these little details well the resettling cushioning is very
33:51
effective i i think it's really super awesome and creepy oh yeah yeah it just doesn't make a super amount of sense
33:57
oh yeah also this baddie and this like long-haired black woman shape it reminds me of samara from the ring yeah oh
34:04
you know what's gonna say he looks like he belongs in the band slipknot if you remember them
34:12
sure everybody does jacob whatever they used to be people knew who they were no no i know
34:19
i know i'm sure someone cares no i don't care but that doesn't mean that other people
34:24
don't whatever [Laughter]
34:29
so yeah the husband is accosted by this dark shape he's thrown around and he gets his neck
34:36
broken and the husband is very dead and i just wrote that um he has a good broken neck prop it's got
34:43
like a crazy like spinal column like coming out the side of his neck it hasn't broken the skin it's just
34:49
sticking out really far i think it's just nuts yeah it's pretty gross
34:54
and that's the end of derrick that's derrick mitchell yeah husband of madison mitchell
35:00
and uh yeah and he's just kind of gone i mean he doesn't serve any purpose other than
35:06
hurting her at the beginning i guess that was his contribution to this timeline of events yeah
35:12
and apparently being unsupportive and on about
35:18
his own wife and anything about her he must not have ever asked her questions about her past nobody did it's
35:25
i'm so confused by her life that she's like you know that everyone's kept her at arm's length like her entire
35:31
life to the point where they didn't know that she has visions and you know she'll she'll like seize up sometimes and she's
35:37
like weird about stuff and you know every now and then lights flicker around here at all this nonsense
35:45
well they might it might have only been a recent development because it seems like it's only after this this injury
35:51
that she starts to manifest some of it so maybe she was normal for
35:57
a while i guess yeah i mean i think that's the strong implication yeah
36:03
so you know some detectives i don't like show up and they they find the husband's body and they talk about him there's a
36:08
forensics girl who's like in love with the detective i um she might be my favorite character i
36:14
was gonna say i really like this character
36:19
what is what is the purpose i don't know i don't know because the
36:26
whole movie is about about madison mitchell being kind of nuts and to be honest every time they're not with
36:33
her i'm annoyed i don't like any of the detectives i don't like any i don't like her sister i don't like anybody i want
36:40
them all to die throughout the whole movie i kept writing that i'm like please just kill these people no
36:45
i didn't mind the sister i do like the forensics lady though yeah yeah you like the cyst no i don't like her
36:59
oh actually um oh yeah we're just about there anyway because you know the the detectives come take away the husband's
37:04
body and then you know mrs mitchell uh madison uh she goes home
37:10
and she's accosted by her evil double it just looks like her but like an evil shadow and it's running around chasing
37:16
her through the house it looks awesome she tries to close the door on it it knocks it down and she you know she gets
37:22
knocked out she wakes up in a hospital and she's sans baby bump
37:28
holy hell guys because like this this is a heavy start for a movie you know
37:34
i mean we got this cold open in a crazy hospital and then we got this husband beats his wife
37:40
you know it hurts her very badly and then husband dies yeah and then she gets accosted by a spirit and and
37:47
miscarries her baby like this is like all of the bad things all all at the
37:53
same time i mean yeah it's weird because the movie does start pretty heavy here
38:00
to how things go towards the end yes it does but then again it it fits in a
38:06
certain way because the movie feels very heightened where everything is kind of dialed up to 11. yeah even yeah just
38:12
kind of the normal domestic stuff maybe that's why the forensics girl is so like just thirsty for that detective
38:20
like everything has to be dialed up to a thousand i guess it's i i will say it is so funny that eye
38:26
detective that that goes nowhere absolutely nowhere
38:36
yeah i i like it better that way yeah
38:41
speaking of that detective uh he shows up and he's got a very hard to say name so i'm going to try and if i say it
38:47
wrong i'm very sorry this is a detective kakoa shaw
38:53
yeah i believe that's it yeah that was natural i i wrote it a couple different ways yeah peter that's not that hard
39:00
i'm just saying i well i i no i don't know
39:05
i just wanna i'm you know i'm just covering my bases okay i don't yeah i can't well i'm trying to figure
39:11
out like where it's from or whatever i mean i don't know it sounds hawaiian to me but it could be anywhere but whatever it is it's cool
39:17
it's a little odd he's well i was gonna say he's the main character i guess that's not true he's like
39:22
the main secondary character he's the lead investigator on all of this
39:29
and he has no time for forensics girl i've already forgotten her name i'm sorry forensics
39:35
girl but he doesn't care at all but sydney
39:40
uh wait is her name sydney lake oh that's right yeah she introduces herself so i wonder if she wait is she married
39:47
or something oh no i think that that's their last name but
39:52
madison lost it because she got married and you know she became madison mitchell yeah
39:57
so yeah so her sister comes to visit you know madison is super dour and skinny
40:03
and looks like she's gonna die she looks like morticia a little bit but sydney is like the exact opposite
40:08
she she looks like florence pew she's like blonde and like you know cute as a button and like she's like an actress
40:15
and she's living this like sunny happy life and her sister is just such a giant bummer to her i mean not that it's her
40:22
fault or anything but it's it's very funny that she keeps like coming by and being so sweet and then madison will
40:28
just say something devastating some new horrible turn of events so yeah so sydney has to explain
40:36
to madison how she miscarried her kid oh god and then the detective walks in
40:43
you know like on this horrible scene and he's like it's it's edited in such a way that his
40:48
eyes just a light on sydney he's just like oh wow look at this lady yeah
40:54
like is this really the time detective so much has happened just now
41:01
her husband is dead her baby's dead i don't know maybe there's never a good
41:06
time when you're like a murder detective is that a thing by the way or are all detectives murder detectives or yeah no
41:12
there's got to be like a homicide unit right but yeah yeah i mean i mean peter reacts i guess if it's all
41:17
blood and guts to you maybe this is all just ho-hum yeah yeah i remember i only remember from la noire
41:24
because you get promoted through various departments and i believe there was a homicide department so yeah sure yeah
41:30
i'm sure it's just like that like from like the 1930s or whatever in a video game made by australians
41:38
okay so oh yeah uh detective shaw he says that
41:43
there was three miscarriages in the last two years i don't know if that's four in total or
41:48
if he's counting the current one but like it's almost horrible to ask you like you know what whatever she's lost a bunch of babies yeah it's it's been
41:55
unfortunate i don't think the specific number matters too much yeah also it's a whole subplot that
42:02
really shouldn't be in this movie they're going to explain later why it's here
42:08
it shouldn't be here no but it is yeah hi so yeah
42:15
so we're just gonna make do folks yeah no it's not a big deal well no it is a big deal what i mean is it's not
42:21
made it's not a big prominent issue i guess you could say in the film it's just it's
42:27
just a real horrible thing off to the side like oh hey by the way everything you touch dies madison
42:34
there's no babies for you maybe you should adopt jeez oh yeah and honestly like you know as
42:41
you find as you find out later like she probably shouldn't be having kids for various
42:46
reasons probably not a good idea no yeah there's a lot of potential there
42:54
as we will get into so yeah the other detective lady um she says ah there's no forced entry an abuse
43:01
of husband motive and so there is
43:06
there's a lot of really strange music in this movie and this is a good time to bring it up because uh yeah this is the first time you hear
43:12
yeah madison mitchell she gets a very strange light motif if you didn't know that's basically like
43:18
a little theme song for whenever someone enters a room or whatever yeah it's got a real weird like airy like
43:25
elegant italian horror film kind of sound to it like [Music]
43:30
like it was in suspiria or something like or a giallo film yeah yeah one of those good hor italian horror
43:37
films you know and the ones with nice dresses and bright colors there are a couple of horrible horrible
43:42
murders there are a couple of just bizarre musical moments in this movie
43:48
yes there are yes and it's it is a bonus i i i love it but it
43:54
is very strange because it goes from like it goes from like sweeping operatic scores to
44:00
crunchy cynthia 80s retro nonsense yeah and i'm just like yes yeah like thumbs
44:07
up for me like yeah no i love a good soundtrack and i also love well i don't want to see a bad soundtrack but you know a real weird one
44:14
and this is a real weird soundtrack but you know like i i listen to 80 synth
44:19
just like on the side like that's just one of my jams so i'm all about this kind of thing
44:26
so yeah so she goes home i guess they allow her to go home and evil her is out under the light post
44:32
you know like menacing her and she she tries to lock up and the doors just keep reopening themselves which makes it
44:39
unclear about you know like why why even bother yeah i don't know and like windows will open
44:44
like silently without people noticing like either her or other people in the future also are bamboozled by just
44:51
moving stuff in the room and there's this great cool overhead shot where there's no roof and
44:57
you can see madison running around in her house while she's being chased by this you know horrible black colorless version of
45:04
herself and that's when i wrote they spent too much money on this film maybe [Laughter]
45:11
yeah it's very creative and beautiful probably not necessary you know it's one
45:16
of those like it's it's an extravagance but it's it's great but it meant that they had to create this whole set just
45:22
to be able to do this shot where they're shooting straight down from above i i love it but yeah
45:28
but why i mean for this i don't know it's it's good i don't want to like i said i have
45:35
strange feelings about this movie it's it's like a sweet and sour sauce of like a weird mix of like and dislike where
45:42
like i i'm almost repelled and then yeah but then i get pulled back in you know just
45:48
like it's like watching reality tv back in like the 90s when people used to
45:53
actually do that you're just like i can't look away
45:58
i don't know maybe that's a slight disservice to this movie this movie's better than a reality tv show although it is about the same level of
46:04
substance i don't know about that let's be real here i mean yeah this is a
46:10
very thin script i mean the characters barely make sense even in their own universe
46:16
there's no like variety of similitude here i don't know i like i said she's a nurse
46:22
but she keeps not fixing her own head i mean okay well there's ways of explaining that later so maybe there is
46:28
a thing but i don't know it's just it just feels strange to me that like they make up
46:34
rules and then they're like a little a little loose about it let's just put it that way i mean
46:40
i don't know i feel like even if you're a doctor or you're a nurse and you know better like nobody
46:46
wants to be going to the doctor for uh you know
46:51
hand bleeding that's a lot of head bleeding though like she wakes up and her pillows just got like a little like dry puddle yeah
46:58
so gross maybe she just doesn't want to admit about like you know the extent of the domestic abuse he's like yeah he cracked
47:04
my skull but i just don't want to think about it so yeah so she so
47:11
she says oh it's all in my head it's all my head and i'm like yeah probably literally you know because
47:16
you know i've seen the dark half so here okay here's the thing this is when i realized well actually i realized almost
47:23
immediately i was sad when i realized what was happening like i wanted to not know for longer but as soon as as soon
47:30
as i realized that i'm like oh that's what this movie's doing
47:38
we'll get into that movie later because you know like for people who haven't seen that movie or this movie this is still you'll still be surprised later
47:44
you know and nobody's seen the dark half that's not a good movie so don't worry about it oh yeah we'll talk about it later terrible movie
47:51
it's it's pretty bad timothy hutton you should be ashamed of yourself no i love that movie and i do rewatch it
47:57
but it's not good it's it's it's actually very not good
48:03
okay so we get a fun retro synth thing for like the montages and then yeah and then
48:10
i think this is the part where you know maddie tells sydney that she's adopted and sydney gives her like
48:17
the most like my mind is blown face i've ever seen from anybody ever like she's just so
48:24
floored by the fact that her weird sister who actually who doesn't look anything like her doesn't act like her
48:30
doesn't talk like her is adopted she's like oh my god it's it's so bizarre
48:37
and then it's just like and then it just cuts to like an overview of of seattle and you see
48:42
like the space needle you know just to remind people because that's what you need every time you're in in seattle you got to show the space
48:48
needle to be like hey man come on however in fairness
48:53
the the city is built in kind of a weird bowl shape so everything actually does kind of face the space needle almost
48:59
every building has a nice view of it yeah so it's it's hard to escape even if you wanted to
49:06
and this is when we bring in the uh the boring tour of underground seattle have you ever done the underground
49:13
seattle tour jacob uh yeah yes it is boring i did not actually
49:20
oh so yeah tell me about it because i've never gone i should i guess
49:26
you go you you go around looking at you know pretty pretty unsafe looking
49:33
architecture while they give you a history to listen well yeah i mean like i mean i didn't
49:39
think i mean let me say it i don't uh i don't know yeah i actually have the recording
49:45
i mean maybe i shouldn't have because you know like i said this movie just came out so maybe they'll be mad at me for doing this but yeah i have the recording of the lady describing
49:52
the underground seattle area let me see oh i [ __ ] pull it up because i have it all on
49:58
these like color coordinated buttons and if i push the wrong button it'll be very embarrassing so let's see
50:04
i mean like it's okay here we go i i have little no
50:10
we'll see okay yeah so here we go here we go this is a tour of old seattle buried
50:15
underneath here like a time capsule of a bygone era all this used to be at street level where the people worked and lived but
50:21
after the great fire of 1889 they decided to rebuild the new city on top
50:26
of the old city one story higher to stave off flooding you can still see the cobblestone
50:32
streets and the store fronts down here and there are rumors of passages stretching for miles
50:39
and that's it uh yeah little that comes up again no they do go back there later well yeah
50:46
i don't know why but but yeah it's fun to see because this is the second movie i know of where
50:52
they they use the uh a villains sneaking into the the underground part
50:58
of seattle there it was also in the second cold shack movie the the knight strangler
51:04
where i think i could be wrong but it might have been jack the ripper or it was some kind of like deathless person
51:12
who was like hiding in in the in the seattle underground it was like his secret evil lair
51:18
and apparently there are parts of it that are all bricked up and like semi-flooded and not safe so it's actually possible that there could be
51:25
some creepy parts uh where a bad guy could live and you know and and and have a layer i suppose
51:31
sure peter for a moment that is not the case in this movie by the way
51:36
yeah call check was pretty fun i was i was thinking
51:41
about that recently yeah that was that was the dad from uh the christmas story
51:47
yeah yeah yeah and he just plays like kind of a grumpy detective who like deals with
51:53
vampires and werewolves it's very and it's yeah it's kind of a fun time yeah it's very silly but i don't know i uh
52:01
i liked it a lot it's a precursor to the x-files it's a very similar story structure he will find a thing
52:08
he tries to tell everybody about it nobody believes him and because they don't believe him they
52:13
allow him to continue to have his job you know like i guess the world would kind of end if people ever believed
52:20
you know that he was fighting vampires and stuff yeah i don't know i feel like most of the time
52:25
the stuff he dealt with was pretty low level you know yeah
52:31
yeah which is yeah it was sort of like he was basically like a as a sleazy paparazzi but it was for the
52:37
supernatural yeah i mean i think like i don't know like i think the worst thing he dealt with
52:43
was like a dog when i was like possessed by the devil or something like that and it's
52:50
like well okay it's like satan's involved so that's pretty high stakes but for the rest of
52:55
the time it was just like yeah you just deal with like random vampires or like
53:02
you know you're just like a ufo okay yeah all right i mean i guess it
53:09
doesn't really matter yeah
53:16
so check it out guys it's fun so the the seattle underground tour lady
53:22
we find out later i'm going to say it now this is madison mitchell's mom uh she is the biological mother of emily
53:30
lake who later becomes maddie wait no no no not emily like i don't
53:37
know what this lady's lame name emily something and then she becomes emily lake and then she becomes
53:44
maddie lake and then she becomes maddie mitchell that she has a bunch of name changes
53:51
so yeah but this this lady she uh you know she she gave birth to a daughter there were
53:57
some unfortunate circumstances and then she just rebuilt her life and now she's doing underground seattle tours where
54:03
she's sort of sarcastic about like ghosts and stuff
54:08
what a recovery this woman's made she seems in good cheer i mean seems fun
54:14
yeah so she gets grabbed and then she's just like what do you want and then the radio is just like to show you what i've
54:20
become or you know whatever yeah there's a lot of like evil voices talking through radios when when the the
54:27
evil thing is out out and about yeah the malignant force
54:34
and then we get uh we cut back to maddie doing stuff when we get this wispy 80s style tune on the radio
54:41
i approve it's it's good stuff for long walks on strange nights yeah i like a
54:46
good dreamy 80s song you know if i was a smoker i'd smoke at night to
54:52
this song if i was a vapor i would vape to this
54:57
one if i was a glue sniffer i would sniff glue to this
55:03
if i were gonna take horse paste i would take it yes
55:10
yeah so while doing laundry maddie gets an awful vision of dr weaver's home being
55:16
invaded she like sees her like screaming through the other side of her open laundry laundry machine door i think
55:22
it's the washer and then she does that thing where like she falls over she's terrified and then
55:27
the whole room changes around her it's a real beautiful effect and they do it like five or six
55:32
times and every time it's amazing so like i'm glad that they keep doing it oh yeah well they do like a 360 view all
55:39
the way around her and while they're doing it the whole room like melts and then reconstitutes itself into a
55:46
totally different place while it makes a real weird noise
55:54
so apparently the evil force evil her is in
55:59
dr florence weaver's house i don't know how the tour guide lady knew weaver well whatever it doesn't matter i mean like
56:06
oh i know right where she lives because we could because we talked to each other years ago yeah whatever don't worry
56:11
about it anyway the evil force or whatever it is it grabs a trophy that clearly has a dagger
56:18
in it right off the bat i'm just like why would you make this weird dagger shaped like trophy it looks cool
56:24
out of it does look cool it's got like a snakey thing around it which later gets broken off and it's got
56:31
a wide marble base which also gets broken off inside of dr weaver's head
56:37
because she gets knocked over and just bashed in i was just thinking it was such a wasted opportunity at the time
56:42
because it's like well you got this sharp part and then you just beat her to death with like the blunt end like why why would you bother
56:50
yeah but it turns out that the evil person say i don't want to use the name yet but
56:56
the the evil force like uh uses the dagger so i i guess he's real fond of using this
57:02
trophy so it becomes like the distinctive murder weapon of you know of the malignant
57:11
the detectives say that she was a specialist dr weaver was a specialist in uh child reconstructive surgery which
57:18
almost makes it sound like they reconstructed entire children oh maybe
57:24
yeah maybe yeah yeah they they go check out her corpse and they're like oh man she was a tough
57:29
old bird she fought till the end you know and and nothing really comes of it because these detectives are boring so i'm just going to kind of skip over that
57:36
yeah whatever she really really didn't want to die that being said yeah this looks
57:43
uh agonizing it does it's it's pretty bloody there's a lot of there's a lot of spray it
57:49
didn't look like it was a good clean end or anything uh no yeah
57:55
and this is what i wrote i am annoyed by all of these detectives
58:00
so once again i just get increasingly annoyed with them as i go i don't like i don't like the detectives like you know
58:06
and i'm sorry you know to the to the actors it's it's more just their their function in the movie and and i don't know when
58:14
you've seen enough of these movies you know that they're probably not going to be very effective because if they were
58:19
the movie would be shorter uh yes so they they have to kind of not be very good at their job
58:25
in order for things to happen and boy the cops of this movie
58:30
are not effective yeah they really are not
58:36
so yeah we get a sam raimi a zoom on the trophy while it's being polished into a dagger
58:42
you know that's pretty groovy yeah i like it um yeah but yeah that whole bit uh that's
58:49
another good like music moment when yeah when the weapon is more montage yeah
58:56
yeah james one seems to like montages of villains crafting their weapons because
59:03
he did the same kind of thing in uh yeah man oh did he yeah
59:08
like it's similarly uh i watched that once
59:14
yeah so then we get to uh silver cup apartments to some high-rise apartments
59:19
there's some fat old doctor guy in a high-rise he's got a nice walk-in closet
59:26
the it's like stormy outside and the window opens by itself but it opens like right next to him after he's turned his back
59:32
so he did it somehow silently but it got water all over the floor and then the lights in the walk-in closet go out so then he walks in and
59:39
the door moves a little bit but no one's actually in there i think i forget so once again i think it's a
59:45
telekinesis thing where like things can just happen around people without them noticing
59:51
he has spooky paris yeah he has spooky powers you know and then
59:57
gabriel is like comes out and grabs the guy and his theme is pretty ridiculous
1:00:02
he's got his own little theme song
1:00:07
very very intense i like it maddie has visions of the upcoming
1:00:13
murder you know every time one of these happens she's able to see what's happening and she'll she's laying in bed and she wakes up and she's laying next
1:00:20
to this guy this weird old man that she's never met before so she screams just because of that like she hasn't even been murdered
1:00:26
yet she's already freaking out yeah and uh you know and then this dark evil version
1:00:32
of her in the weird leather suit it's like a leather trench coat does like a weird like spider walk over the top of
1:00:39
her like from one side of the bed to the other to get on top of this guy and then just like stabs him and it
1:00:44
looks so weird and wrong like you can tell that something is way wrong
1:00:50
you know if you weren't sure about what's happening in this movie like this is the part where you're like wait a minute that that looks all wrong that
1:00:57
that is not how humans move just you know like in this weird like
1:01:02
awkward backward looking stab you know there's like ah yeah what do you think you are some kind of
1:01:09
kind of slender man yeah sydney finds maddie screaming in bed in
1:01:15
the morning she notices blood and does not check it out nobody look the truth is too horrible to
1:01:22
countenance i'm starting to wonder if it's like a learned complacency where people
1:01:29
maybe they're so deep in a problem with maddie that they just don't want to face up to whatever it is they're just like i
1:01:35
don't know what's with you you're just bleeding all over the place i don't i don't know i don't know
1:01:40
like what your deal is i mean you think i don't know
1:01:46
maybe because i maybe they're just dumb i mean i don't want to have to just say it like that
1:01:52
it's possible they're all just stupid but then detective what's his butt
1:01:59
straight up is falling for city sydney mid-murder investigation
1:02:04
and i just wrote again please just die already i feel like he he's
1:02:10
the only one i really like that's wrestling cops oh you like him huh uh he he
1:02:17
accomplishes some very silly stuff later on which i have to respect
1:02:23
that's true he does try he tries to try yeah so yeah they go um sydney and
1:02:29
sydney and maddie go to the police station to tell them where a murder has happened that
1:02:35
nobody knows about yet so they're they're like listen we know a murder happened we know what happened at
1:02:40
the silver cup apartments and we want you to go check it out and he's just like how do you know this
1:02:46
do you know the murderer you know and and no one's like maybe you are the murderer maybe we like
1:02:53
how do you know everything about all of the murders yeah like even before anyone else does isn't that weird
1:03:00
but you know they don't know that at this point they don't believe her so they have to just follow her and it's kind of implied that maybe they're going
1:03:07
because he's sort of just crushing on sydney and he just wants to humor her or something yeah yeah
1:03:12
like the other detective just like flat out says that he's just like you're only here because of her he's like shut up
1:03:18
i you know i i do kind of like his crush on her
1:03:23
because it gives an excuse for this kind of thing i guess i mean
1:03:28
it makes him seem less incompetent and more just like love struck i suppose you know or
1:03:35
passionate maybe is the word i don't know yeah yeah oh yeah they do an artist's rendition of
1:03:40
the murderer's face and it just looks like a pile of meatloaf with like an evil grin i just thought that was really funny yeah
1:03:46
yeah wait where the hell is this so yeah
1:03:54
i just wrote maddie gets a call from herself this must be really exhausting for her brain i think this is when she's
1:03:59
in the bathroom and it says she gets like a call on her iphone from unknown and just like
1:04:07
she's like my name is madison mitchell he's like now mitchell is just a fake name given to you by your husband
1:04:13
like it's a real mean voice yeah and then you know the voice tells her that her real name is emily she doesn't know
1:04:19
this yet and she's just like who are you and he's like didn't you didn't you say that i'm
1:04:24
only in your head wink wink everybody
1:04:31
little thing called 4chan yeah
1:04:36
oh um they drive past the pike place market later it makes an appearance yeah
1:04:41
the best place in washington to get yourself pickpocketed that's true and but you know if you feel like
1:04:48
yeah also a great place to uh have fish for about you yeah that's that is the famous or
1:04:55
infamous place where people just throw fish around there's not really a reason to do that anymore but it's just fun so you know
1:05:01
they like yeah i mean i know that that area is legitimately
1:05:07
not safe but it is fun to go there yeah yeah they got golden age collectibles
1:05:13
down in the bowels of the market yeah you can go check out the shops there's a little like magic shop place
1:05:19
where you can get like mexican jumping beans and stuff yeah i eat lots of lots of chocolates and stuff yeah i did
1:05:24
actually buy some mexican chili beans from uh from there one time oh really well you know i almost did
1:05:32
but i found out there's little insects inside and so i felt bad for them and so i didn't buy anything yeah i mean
1:05:38
but they like i'm sorry they were gonna they're gonna die anyway you might as
1:05:43
well like entertain me i suppose that's true yeah they entertained me before just saying i
1:05:49
mean it's grim but i mean it's true you know it is true like better better to you
1:05:55
know give me some mild amusement than to just like hop away in some uh some
1:06:02
store you die in a drawer yeah
1:06:08
so sydney and maddie go to visit their adoptive mother who gets a crazy zoom on her face when she hears the name gabriel
1:06:15
who's gabriel and she's like it's very good
1:06:21
i i don't remember when they start saying the name gabriel but that is the bad guy in this yeah it is is an evil
1:06:27
entity you know connected to to madison somehow
1:06:32
it is gabriel and sometimes it's also referred to as the devil i don't know why maybe just to be scary
1:06:39
or like it's something you can say in a trailer you know yeah yeah he's the devil
1:06:44
oh no you scared bro so they go into uh yeah they go into the adopted mother's
1:06:49
house and they start watching home videos and they're all just creepy as
1:06:55
as all get out absolutely they're so creepy yeah when she's getting like phone calls
1:07:01
from herself like on a little kid phone like kill my kill my my unborn sister
1:07:07
i shouldn't do that why would i do that because it would feel good i don't
1:07:15
believe you these supremely tolerant parents
1:07:23
they yeah they put up with quite a lot considering like i'm sorry uh if i had
1:07:29
like a biological child that was acting like weird i would be like we need to
1:07:36
discuss some options here so if i could be dealing with this
1:07:41
yeah i mean like they said in the trailer i mean the mom is just like well listen we know you came from something real terrible and we know how badly it
1:07:48
hurt you and we just were hoping that we could you know we could make your life meaningful help you rebuild no i
1:07:55
mean i mean i don't know it's nice no i mean like that is like that is the ideal
1:08:01
you know is to yeah you want to give a traumatized kid
1:08:07
like a just an absurdly understanding home
1:08:14
yeah so we go back to detective shaw he pulls up old psych files in a box
1:08:22
and they're in like a bunch of flash drives and i was so annoyed because i wanted it to be floppy disks and then
1:08:27
you would have to try to figure out how to how to use it yeah like what the hell even are these things
1:08:33
it's from the 90s it would totally be floppy disks i mean unless they were updated recently yeah i was thinking
1:08:38
about that and also god i you know i for the longest time i had a
1:08:46
an external drive that could use floppies huh
1:08:52
it was just kazooie i had like a you could burn cds too and just sort of
1:08:57
like as a side benefit yeah but uh play a real old-ass text
1:09:04
i okay so apparently there was three
1:09:10
doctors who helped maddie get over you know her difficulties yeah
1:09:16
and two of them already dead there's you know the fat old guy from silver cup apartments forgotten his name and then
1:09:22
there was dr florence weaver she was kind of in charge and then there's this third guy dr john gregory kind of a weird-looking dude it
1:09:28
was gonna say he does look like a public figure of some infamy
1:09:39
jeffrey epstein oh i for a second i thought you were going to say like dr mengele or something no no
1:09:46
he like oh my god no but it is like actually kind of distracting you know which the guy does
1:09:52
look like jeffrey upstairs very unfortunate huh
1:09:57
that's that is unfortunate i did not make that connection i mean i guess i'm
1:10:03
more into like the conspiracy side of the internet so i'm like yeah i know about these kind
1:10:09
of things so i i didn't write a lot of this part so i so i might be missing some details
1:10:16
i i believe the dr john gregory is stabbed to death in a bathtub yeah
1:10:21
yeah and then detective kokoa was going to try to stop it and he chases gabriel
1:10:28
out the side of like a fire escape yes this and it just looks it just looks so ridiculous this whole scene
1:10:36
is so good yeah it's it's wonderful and it it really foreshadows how the entire rest of the
1:10:43
movie is going to be they're like listen yeah if you thought this was going to be serious we have got a scene for you guys because
1:10:50
yeah this is this is real weird watching someone running like backwards and all
1:10:55
weirdly you know and just fumbling around shoot what does he do he like he like jumps off what does he land on but
1:11:02
it like a dumpster yeah yeah it's like that looks like that would hurt
1:11:08
so much yeah he looks like he broke ribs he he he didn't have a far enough down
1:11:15
to go so he's just like oh i guess i'll just drop the rest of the way even for the bushes uh
1:11:22
but no but like i mean like that's so much better thinking about the fact that he's like running faster and longer than i think i
1:11:29
have ever run in my entire life with his like broken ribs
1:11:35
at least some bruises yeah yeah i actually would have loved it if that scene had like stopped for a moment
1:11:41
where like he rolls off the dumpster and then he's just laying in the street he's just like oh do the family guy like
1:11:49
[Music]
1:11:55
or like he just never gets up and like you see him later on just getting led away by like you know an ambulance
1:12:00
oh my god oh god that seems so much cooler in my head
1:12:07
yeah i thought that was gonna go so much better i mean he manages to chase uh gabriel
1:12:14
all the way down into the seattle underground where they go into like a secret part
1:12:20
like they break open a hole into a room with like a bunch of old fancy carriages from 1889
1:12:26
and they fight for a while and then you know and then and then gabriel gets away i also so they might as well have just had the
1:12:34
detective get really hurt in that street scene i mean it doesn't go any further than that anyway no i oh i i also like
1:12:40
that i think there were like two or three different times during the chase where i'm like oh
1:12:46
he's losing him here he's there he's never to figure out that like gabriel like knocked out some like bricks in the
1:12:52
wall and he's like he's just like no i know exactly where you're going
1:12:58
he actually is he's not a great detective but he is a great runner and tracker he's pretty
1:13:03
good yeah yeah
1:13:08
oh yeah and this is when i wrote i want gabriel to live and be in someone else's movie
1:13:14
i just had so much fun you know with his long greasy black hair and the ridiculous trench coat and the
1:13:21
weird spider walking yeah just like i love this guy
1:13:27
maybe okay so yeah so that's the end of that scene okay we'll we'll see um he got me thinking about something a
1:13:33
little we'll discuss it at the end but uh i feel like he would sure he would work well with another
1:13:40
kind of forgotten villain character that never got their uh well i mean dare
1:13:47
i say it i want kind of a league of extraordinary gentlemen type situation i i want a bunch of like weirdos working
1:13:53
together to do something uh shoot wait what is that name what's that movie
1:13:58
on uh breitbart oh wait the the evil superhero yeah
1:14:06
i don't know man i mean yeah once he gets evil voices
1:14:11
from aliens to tell him to kill everybody well i mean we'll kill your family we'll get to it for the man like
1:14:17
you know he gets he gets pretty super towards the end
1:14:22
that's true actually yeah he's got some crazy power totally unexplained and totally awesome
1:14:30
yeah like fine with me okay first of all i would they shouldn't explain it because any
1:14:36
kind of explanation is going to be stupid yes
1:14:42
like i that is something i really appreciate about this movie is that when they do explain something
1:14:49
it is always nuts and then
1:14:54
and then when the explanation can only be something stupid and boring they just don't bother
1:15:02
which is like yes to its creation this is this movie is stupid in a it's
1:15:07
stupid in a calculated way like in a good way
1:15:13
okay so yeah so next scene they they get a hypnotherapist to mess with
1:15:18
maddie which you know this is going to be a train wreck like why are we doing this but you know whatever they want to
1:15:24
dig up her first eight years of memory because she was adopted when she was eight she has absolutely no memories of
1:15:30
what came before yeah which is you know honestly that is pretty unsettling just thinking of that like what happened before was so
1:15:36
horrible that she just blocked it all out and just like all right and then finally i was free of all that like
1:15:42
that's like her last memory is like feeling relief like that's that's super spooky yeah
1:15:47
that is um like i'm glad that's over so yeah we get this crazy
1:15:53
flashback of emily slash maddie she gets like psychic phone calls on a twinkly
1:15:58
kid phone that plays row row row your boat yeah merrily merrily merrily merrily life was
1:16:04
about a dream and it gives her like advice to go
1:16:09
you know slice a a piece of cake for her for wait is it for her or for something
1:16:15
for her is it for her it's somebody's birthday cake but like she's gonna like slice
1:16:22
but yeah like the idea was like she's taking it for herself you know well i thought she did well she gets a
1:16:28
phone call from i mean you know from herself let's be real here and and it's just like
1:16:34
it'll be you'll be so happy it's a good surprise if you cut this cake you know and and so she goes out there
1:16:41
and it just gets to this point where like you know she thinks she's about to cut the cake and then it and then it just morphs all around her and it
1:16:47
becomes her pregnant you know adoptive mother yeah another knife over it you know it's just like oh my god
1:16:54
speaking of which i have that audio cue too so let's do it jj let's
1:17:00
absolutely get this video demonetized yes let's copyright claims
1:17:05
three two one
1:17:16
cake
1:17:22
[Music]
1:17:52
i just realized you probably couldn't hear like half of that i heard it's just that weird morphing sound yeah i heard the important parts
1:18:00
yeah that's like my favorite part of this movie is just like the weird ominous voices the slice of cake
1:18:08
yeah slice i okay
1:18:13
i will say this i like gabriel is so fun
1:18:19
he's just a good guy as an evil yeah like and he is an evil thing he's not a person he's a thing yeah yeah well i
1:18:26
mean that's i feel like it's been such a long time since i've seen like a recent horror movie this is
1:18:33
directly derived off of something else as kind of like an iconic like
1:18:38
weirdo who's like he's like because like he's a little silly you know
1:18:44
yeah oh yeah he is like in that sort of like a vein of like an iconic like horror character who's
1:18:51
like yeah he's like a little wacky and he's got like crazy powers
1:18:57
i don't know it was refreshing it's nice yeah so you know the she freaks out
1:19:04
while she's doing the hypnotherapy session after you know remembering this and and she wakes up she's like gabriel did
1:19:10
it you know and the detectives are like you're you're saying you're imaginary friends with this
1:19:16
yeah and i'm just getting so mad at them because once again they've established that maddie knows
1:19:22
everything she was at or near each of these situations
1:19:27
she has a history of mental issues and you still don't consider her a suspect or like you haven't arrested her
1:19:33
or anything like you guys must be the worst cops in the world man i yeah i mean i guess like
1:19:39
to be fair at least like the first murder that legitimately just doesn't seem like
1:19:46
something that she was like physically capable of doing yeah maybe not
1:19:53
and it's funny because they they probably wouldn't have considered her a suspect ever if the underground seattle underground
1:20:00
tour guide lady hadn't just broken through the roof and just falls into the living room right next to them
1:20:07
right then in there right in front of the hypnotherapist and everything you know we're gonna talk about that so yeah
1:20:13
she yeah she was tied up in the attic i mean we didn't know whose attic it was but they showed scenes earlier where you
1:20:19
know she's interacting occasionally with gabriel yeah like he's taking her hostage and she
1:20:24
finally gets free and just collapses through like the whole house and just lands right next to these people
1:20:32
it's like it's like it's like the movie is like listen we know these cops are dumb so we're going to make it so they have to
1:20:39
finally just consider that maddie might be the killer you know we'll have a the kidnapped woman collapsed right through
1:20:45
her house like right in front of them you know what it reminds me of it reminds me of like
1:20:51
a role-playing game when like the dm just gets really frustrated
1:20:56
because the group just like it's not getting all the plot points together you know and moving the storyboard yeah so
1:21:03
like okay fine this happens now now you unambiguously
1:21:10
have to go like go for this instead of debating i'm just going to
1:21:16
have the overlord of dragon's land in the middle of course yeah i've come to steal the crystal you don't
1:21:23
believe exists you know whatever okay yeah real
1:21:29
you have to deal with this now god damn at least half a second on this
1:21:35
yeah jacob and i are both old uh d d veterans so yeah
1:21:40
just another add that to another like you know check on our nerdy list so yeah if
1:21:46
anyone's keeping count i'll call ourselves dungeon heads that's a term that they use
1:21:54
did we have a term i don't know if we had one i don't know like nerd dungeon heads no
1:21:59
that's yeah okay i'm sorry nerd means you know something i think
1:22:05
geek is better because it's like enthusiasm without skills
1:22:11
yeah i mean geek is good because it's like that's also like uh
1:22:16
prison that's like circus sideshow slang too
1:22:22
for like the guy who eats like chicken yeah i mean that's a good that's a good summation of uh
1:22:29
people who were like into dnd yeah so yeah so
1:22:35
maddie is forced to be accused and so she is yeah
1:22:41
and i actually have a cue for that one as well i don't know if this one's necessary but i'm going to do it anyway let's get into all of it
1:22:47
so here we go it was gabriel he got into my house he's done it before
1:22:52
enough with the boogeyman story please you've seen him
1:22:57
you know that it's not me who is the woman madison i don't know gabriel was to suck her into my
1:23:04
house yeah so that's you know they finally start to question her
1:23:10
and it's i'm glad for them but also i'm a little annoyed because nobody knows yet that this is madison's
1:23:17
mother my biological mother i don't know maybe they wouldn't have a reason to know that but it's yeah things wrap up
1:23:23
quite neatly in this movie like all the people you want are already amongst you you know just like they just fell into
1:23:28
your lap oh man if only we knew the biological mother oh she's right here oh here we go yeah
1:23:35
for such a wacky movie it is pretty compact in a lot of ways
1:23:42
yeah it it there are a lot of loose ends but they're at least closely associated
1:23:48
with one another yeah yeah they're stacked neatly i forget why but sydney goes to
1:23:54
investigate the simeon research research facility that it was hard for me to say that i'm sorry
1:24:02
um i think she's looking for evidence of who maybe this is how they figure out who the mom is
1:24:08
they're going to get files and as far as i know sydney doesn't really encounter any troubles she just goes and digs stuff up
1:24:16
oh she reads that file that says there was oh there was absorption in utero growing with patient
1:24:22
oh my god it's all coming together jacob
1:24:27
oh man i to live that life where you could be a person who had gotten this
1:24:33
far in the movie and to have your mind blown when when the movie seems to think you
1:24:39
should like i wish i could be that that dumb and curious
1:24:45
where you're just like oh my god it's the same person
1:24:51
yeah yeah uh i mean that's funny because like i
1:24:56
i started the movie under the assumption that was the case oh she i didn't know but i
1:25:03
said well i heard something ambiguous online there was little tidbits that were hinting at it and so like i had
1:25:10
like a suspicion but yeah i actually found out right away and i was mad at myself for figuring it
1:25:15
out so like i guess like originally i thought the twist was going to be that
1:25:22
yeah so i feel like she has this like psychic nonsense haunting her
1:25:28
but then all of the outside stuff would have been gabriel was just another person who had
1:25:34
the same thing going on yeah i thought maybe they were from the same psych ward yeah yeah i i i was a
1:25:41
demon yeah i legitimately thought the twist was going to be just it was another person who was
1:25:47
dealing with the same thing that she was and it could have been that boy am i glad
1:25:54
i'm wrong yeah no seriously this is so much more
1:25:59
ridiculous and crazy this is crazy town folks this is real
1:26:05
real crazy town yes and um i i think part of it also this
1:26:11
movie was partially ruined for me because i've seen the dark half many times and i've thought about it a lot
1:26:17
yeah about that horrible scene in that movie where the boy is like playing football
1:26:23
or something and he just collapses outside of his you know out in the front yard and they they have surgery on his brain
1:26:30
and a horrible sightless eye opens up he's like and it's got like teeth and stuff in
1:26:35
there peter do you ever think about that like
1:26:42
like the idea that you can have just like some gross stuff like that inside of you and just like
1:26:48
not know it you know no and i think it's awesome i have heard
1:26:53
also that people will get that from tumorous growths like when they grow really big because some of the cells
1:26:59
will assign to different things so yeah like you'll get like weird things like in
1:27:05
yeah well i guess that's that's that is what they call it in this as well yeah i don't think it's fair to call
1:27:11
gabriel he's not he's healing he's another person yeah
1:27:16
yeah i mean like he's got his own little spine yeah i mean i can yeah like he's not he's not
1:27:22
he's not a random thing no no i mean yeah like a territory is like you know i mean like
1:27:28
hey people out here listen to this theoretically you can have a giant sack
1:27:35
of uh teeth and hair inside of you and just like not know about it hell yeah i
1:27:40
mean it's not gonna like hell yeah you might yeah maybe it's not gonna hurt you but just yes it's happened you know
1:27:46
it's a little piece of that of that twin or whatever that you never sure yeah
1:27:52
living with you forever i mean or just yeah we're just cells they're
1:27:57
they're going this i don't know it's yeah one or the other or if it's
1:28:03
that manitou movie it's the soul of a native american messiah who's coming back
1:28:10
okay in your back yeah okay wait so yeah that that's what happens in that movie that is i i love that movie also
1:28:17
i think you watched that or did you make me watch that you made me watch that see jacob
1:28:23
recommended this this dreadful 70s movies
1:28:28
a passing thought about it in some episodes so i do discuss it very briefly uh that you know that i watched it the
1:28:34
other day it is very ridiculous in the vein of this kind of a movie it's like i i don't
1:28:40
think that they were thinking of the manitoba malignant but it is very much in the same kind of
1:28:46
vein it is very similar yeah and just how ridiculous it is i mean i think that's something i like about
1:28:52
this movie so much is that like it feels like such an old school idea
1:28:58
like remade yeah i don't know here's the thing i actually found
1:29:04
i know i knew rather i knew that i'd seen this story before and i'm
1:29:10
like i have seen this i've seen that sure because you know you can't for you can't
1:29:15
forget the time you saw a person's face on one side of their head and then another face
1:29:21
on the other side of their head there's only been a few times in like movie history well first of all first harry potter you know uh professor
1:29:29
quirrell oh he's got that there's a but actually i track there's also a japanese spirit
1:29:35
and i can't remember oh there's like a there's a there's like a
1:29:41
lady spirit and like japanese folklore that has a face on the back of her
1:29:46
uh yeah i don't know i can't remember okay so yeah the thing i found
1:29:53
which is this like this is so similar it might actually be potential lawsuit territory i hope they don't do that but
1:30:00
okay so season seven episode 10 of tales from the crypt in 1996
1:30:08
debuted a movie and not a movie an episode called about face
1:30:13
and it's about a girl who like well they think it's twins so there's this pastor who
1:30:19
had a you know an illicit child but he's wealthy so
1:30:25
this girl shows up there's this beautiful girl named angelica and then she has a a sister who is crazy and has
1:30:32
a deformed face and her name is lee and uh and the pastor is like kind of just
1:30:37
putting up with them like you know he wants to keep angelica because he could he could make use of her but you know
1:30:44
the ugly one with the scarred face he doesn't want anything to do with her she's also kind of insane and has these weird prophecies and she calls everyone
1:30:51
a sinner and she's kind of murderous so i mean very similar to this and then
1:30:56
it's revealed later that it was a deformed child and like you know about hidden behind her hair is this other
1:31:02
face so she's got the same face twice on either side of her head but one side is all scarred up and the other side isn't
1:31:09
oh so yeah it's almost the same story uh also okay i looked it up uh the thing
1:31:16
i was thinking of is called futakuchi ona
1:31:21
the two mouth woman it's a woman who
1:31:26
appears to have a completely normal face where one would expect a face to be
1:31:33
and then on the back of the head the skull splits apart for many lips
1:31:39
teeth and a tongue wow
1:31:50
with like japanese folklore and like having spirits that are like literally just women but awful
1:31:59
i yeah i don't know i like it though
1:32:04
we should do one of those movies at some point like i was thinking maybe at some point we could do the slit mouse
1:32:13
i was like thinking about that that's a good movie actually i like that i do too
1:32:18
uh also that story is very creepy yeah yes yeah it's based on a real event and
1:32:24
by real i mean reported i yeah oh hey also uh well people were scared
1:32:30
of a thing that probably wasn't real yeah i mean you know real enough to make luvio
1:32:44
oh hey we're back okay i got it well i mean we are back yeah we gotta continue the
1:32:51
fact i also have a dog with me now uh
1:32:57
yeah after a short break jacob brought his dog clover in depending on whether or not i'm cool
1:33:03
about this like some of the audio may or may not survive of her little doggy claws clattering
1:33:09
around on the floor i'm awesome just like i have to like keep readjusting if she
1:33:14
keeps leaning up against my chair and shifting my position
1:33:28
who's the pet and who's the master jacob
1:33:34
when we uh when we last left off uh sydney had just figured out that
1:33:39
gabriel is a real thing and it's attached to his adoptive sister yeah
1:33:45
i wish i was surprised i mean are we supposed to be i don't know i i honestly don't i don't think the movie expects
1:33:53
you to be surprised but you might be it would be interesting if
1:33:58
you were at this point yeah that revealed though it's very good
1:34:06
yeah it's pretty nuts because they start showing flashback videos you know first they show uh serena may oh that was her
1:34:13
last name may you know maddie's birth mother the seattle underground tour guide who
1:34:18
just recently emerged from the attic she you know she was giving up her baby
1:34:23
because it was the result of a of a rape i guess and they don't explain who it was i don't think
1:34:29
but she says that it was the result of the devil like she had a very religious family that wouldn't put up with it
1:34:35
with any of the outrage i guess granted once you see this baby or at least this kid oh my god yeah you know i
1:34:42
could kind of see where people they might see that there's something horrible going on here i mean frankly
1:34:48
because they finally show kind of a kind of a miracle that she made a list
1:34:55
yeah really so emily may she's like
1:35:00
they're talking to her you know in a scene where you see only her front and you know they said like oh we've got
1:35:05
gabriel doped up so we can just talk to you and they're like you know they have a fairly normal conversation and then
1:35:11
they're like okay now we're gonna wake up gabriel so you know just just hold on and they pan around back and it's like a
1:35:18
horrible little withered mummy monster man with like a horrible
1:35:24
face it's like stretched flesh and like little velociraptor arms no
1:35:29
t-rex arms just like oh yeah okay
1:35:35
did when you saw this scene for the first time did you emit an audible
1:35:41
hell yes uh because i did i i gasped and then laughed yeah that's
1:35:47
that was my order of things okay it's like i was so pleased with the
1:35:53
movie just the madness of it i'm just like i was like they they did it they really did it i
1:35:58
don't i know i like i mean like it's so funny to like like
1:36:04
be like this tickled by one scene in a movie but it's just like yeah i'm
1:36:10
just like they could they could do this in in horror movies in in in you know past
1:36:17
past the 80s this is this it's been a while it's yeah it has no it's just like
1:36:25
good things can really happen to you if you wait long enough well
1:36:31
okay one way i was thinking of it was that we don't usually make lights of of ableism
1:36:36
anymore where we're gonna like think someone's evil because they oh god they were born inside of another
1:36:43
person or whatever but you know but that's what this movie is doing no he's not evil because he was born instead of
1:36:49
another person he's like people because he like loves killing yeah
1:36:54
just yeah he seems he seems like he's really fond of killing this thing even before all that yeah
1:37:01
that's the thing is like yeah i mean yeah i guess you could like i mean like first of all okay
1:37:07
i'm sorry but like it is hard to make a character like this sympathetic because he is very gross
1:37:13
yeah but yeah i mean he starts out evil you're
1:37:19
not supposed to like sympathize with them but you're also not supposed to like i don't know
1:37:24
i don't think it's like uh you know i don't think this movie is like a
1:37:29
treatise against uh conjoined people or whatever it's just
1:37:35
like it's a it's a monster man yeah well he said he was getting his autonomy
1:37:42
he was he was winning the battle like he was taking too much nutrients from from
1:37:47
emily yeah you know madison and so they were they just decided to end his life essentially or at least
1:37:54
most of it so that you know they cut out his weird little spine rib cage thing that was kind of over hers
1:38:01
yeah and they cut off his little t-rex arms and most of his face
1:38:06
and then they're like well listen we can't we can't take this all out because it's attached to her brain
1:38:11
so we're just gonna push it into her skull and just come out
1:38:19
and they don't disable the eye so it's still like looking around while they push it into her brain yes just like
1:38:25
yeah just get in there get in there yeah uh what i didn't realize is that
1:38:31
she has a retractable door on the back of her head like the bones
1:38:36
retract and recede and come and close again like on command i guess well okay
1:38:42
we gotta save that for maybe the best scene in the movie
1:38:48
sorry yeah i didn't mean to give away but we are right about at that part because they finally arrested maddie
1:38:53
and they stick her in a jail cell with like 30 women like a lot of women yes
1:38:58
and like half of them are weird cartoonish stereotypes and like one lady is from the 70s
1:39:05
yeah yeah it's it's not just a prison uh it's a time prison
1:39:13
it's like people from throughout history like if i went back and i saw that there
1:39:19
was like a crow magnet criminal in there i would be like yeah
1:39:24
that makes sense like we're like in this in this jail cell yeah certainly
1:39:30
some like woman with like a roman legionary armor it's like okay yeah sure
1:39:36
that tracks with this scene it was the prophet of delphi uh she's
1:39:42
right over there yeah they have this the this african-american american lady
1:39:49
she's in yellow bell bottoms and like a ridiculous afro and like and gold
1:39:54
jewelry of some sort i think yeah well okay what is she doing there well yeah okay
1:40:00
i'll say this uh i i have seen yeah i mean like i don't like the effort
1:40:06
was like super popular but i mean like you know women still
1:40:11
wear their hair that way i don't know where the hell you get billboards
1:40:17
i don't know maybe she's from a festival or something maybe there's a whole backstory about why she's there it's like
1:40:25
bizarre and then there's like the like female
1:40:30
tiger king lady uh yeah yeah the mullet yes yeah
1:40:39
i mean it's i mean it is delightful also the uh latina gangster
1:40:45
lady is another delight yes she looks like a gangster
1:40:51
goon from some you know from like a barrio or something no no yeah yeah if you told me that she played a
1:40:59
role in the warriors uh
1:41:06
it is a ridiculous motley crew of lady criminals
1:41:11
[Music] and it's awesome it's maybe one of the best things about the whole movie yes it's just this room of women
1:41:19
oh okay whose idea was this i i don't know
1:41:26
that's well i was thinking about that for the whole movie i'm just like what are we doing here
1:41:32
i mean yeah what even is this well like
1:41:38
this one's fun because like there's obviously like a lot of wacky stuff that like the studio just kind of
1:41:44
like left up to james one because he makes them a bunch of money
1:41:49
but like there's like stuff like this where it's like so many people had to see this weird
1:41:56
scene you know
1:42:01
so for some reason some unexplained reason the
1:42:06
the the tiger king lady or however you described her and um and the and the afro lady just
1:42:14
decided to pick a fight with poor madison and i don't remember her saying or doing anything they're just like oh
1:42:20
you look so weak and fragile like would you what are you in for you know just like like crossing the street without
1:42:25
permission or i forget what they say but you know something ridiculous yeah and they nearly beat her to death
1:42:31
they're like kicking her in her stomach and stuff until like blood's coming out of her mouth yeah like they're really
1:42:36
pushing it it's it's it's weird and you know and this is happening as
1:42:42
they're revealing you know that gabriel is real and is a a real thing you know
1:42:48
yeah and you're getting exposition from doctors and they're like yeah they share the same brain and when maddie is think
1:42:55
she's at home doing stuff she's actually been given that vision by uh gabriel while he's out doing his
1:43:01
murder work you know basically and so you know it's just you know it's
1:43:06
just a big exposition dumping it's explaining the stuff that you might have been curious about i i thought it was unnecessary you probably could have just
1:43:12
picked up the pieces yourself at this point i mean they share the same brain he could have just been deluding yeah
1:43:18
yeah oh well i will say with what comes next it would be so much funnier if they just didn't explain
1:43:25
any of that so yeah it would be just such a like what
1:43:30
[ __ ] you know like if there was no explanation at all yeah yeah i almost would have preferred
1:43:36
that like if there was less evidence for the whole movie and then it comes to this scene
1:43:42
yeah it's like no yeah where she's just pushed to the edge yeah and it's like look at what's in the back of my head
1:43:48
yeah yeah so yeah so she starts to flip out and you know and they think she's having a
1:43:53
seizure and she just pulls apart the back of her head just peels it back
1:44:00
and it opens like a trapdoor and uh yeah and the meatloaf face with like a toothy mouth and an eyeball
1:44:07
like just come out and they move a lot like you think she'd be able to feel her own brain moving
1:44:13
around like you know with like muscle stuff in there yeah but whatever
1:44:18
it's neither here nor there everyone flips out and uh and then she just like she dislocates both of her shoulders so
1:44:24
that her arms can move more freely backwards yeah and then gabriel takes over her body and she just kills
1:44:32
everybody she kills john so many people this whole like
1:44:37
the whole prison is not yeah i have a brief clip from that as well so i'm gonna play that
1:44:45
dude go for it dude go for it i'm a fan
1:45:13
i don't think you could hear any of that but no but yeah it was just the sounds of pulpy bones breaking and women screaming
1:45:19
so yeah and that crazy like bassy guitar rib thing like
1:45:26
no but he's actually something i love about that is like at a certain point the soundtrack just becomes like oh this
1:45:32
is just hotline miami yeah it's like yeah forget about these
1:45:37
pretensions of like a of a glorious soundtrack we're just gonna like just get some real intense crap going on here
1:45:43
some neon lights and you know yeah palm trees it's like i'm sorry it's like
1:45:48
this is still ostensibly a horror movie but like i mean i i mean i guess but it's like
1:45:55
like it goes so nuts it really does i mean yeah she like tears out a woman's
1:46:00
throat she steps on a head she breaks bones just out of people's arms like freely
1:46:06
yes like it's just just just just a murder machine just plowing through these women
1:46:12
yeah yeah she kills everybody then she kills the cop who tries to help you know she
1:46:18
steals the keys she gets out yeah well okay i guess he steps out or whatever he's hijacked her body but yeah this is
1:46:25
gabriel running the show now so he goes right over to the forensics lab where the you know
1:46:31
the cute thirsty forensics girl is just hanging out going through boxes
1:46:37
and she has to go hide while gabriel comes in and steals back the uh you know the black leather trench coat and the
1:46:44
the horrible stabby dagger weapon thing yeah okay i will say this gabriel just loves
1:46:50
that thing i was i was briefly afraid because i didn't want the thirsty girl to die i thought she was fun no yeah i
1:46:57
didn't either i was gonna i actually wrote cute thirsty forensics girl is about to die and i was sad
1:47:04
yeah i think she doesn't need to do that i don't know why i care about this
1:47:09
character you know i mean like yeah that is weird because like there's nothing to her but the fact that she
1:47:15
wants to get laid by this guy but absolutely nothing no yeah there's no story or anything
1:47:21
yeah i don't know i guess like i guess i have a i guess i like weirdo friends girls and
1:47:29
shows and movies i mean it's like a calm enough trope
1:47:36
you know ncis you know yeah the the other thing yeah that that
1:47:42
poor goth girl is marked for life yeah was that jag i could be
1:47:48
don't get them mixed up maybe there's one on j there was definitely one on ncis which like i i
1:47:56
you know maybe i'm wrong i'm gonna i have to briefly look it up i mean which also like
1:48:01
why didn't why the hell did i watch so much of the ncis i don't care that because she because
1:48:07
that goth girl was in it i get it yeah that's like seems really pathetic in hindsight because it's like i don't care
1:48:14
about how much but like yeah maybe crimes oh that's why i thought it was jag
1:48:20
because i thought it you know i thought that was the only navy or or military show no you're right it was ncis i was
1:48:26
thinking of yeah there's more than one
1:48:31
damn right so her name is paulie parrett
1:48:38
354 episodes holy [ __ ] yeah oh my god
1:48:44
and that's just the episode she did so you know that's like a full year's worth of episodes oh yeah
1:48:51
one for every day well almost also okay i guess i'm also
1:48:56
like looking at the suit she is still playing the
1:49:02
quirky goth girl in her like 50s
1:49:09
uh i think oh no i guess well i mean oh yeah i guess she wouldn't yet she would have been 50 when they were at the last
1:49:16
season jesus amazing yeah all right actually yeah
1:49:21
honestly at least they didn't age her out you know yeah yeah remembering the prices right when bob
1:49:27
barker would like get rid of his lovely ladies who would help him in the show like every couple of years he would get
1:49:32
new ones i always felt so bad for those women no i mean like
1:49:38
vanna white had the right idea she was turning over letters for decades i mean she's still doing it yeah you know
1:49:45
yeah that's the way to be she's still cute i don't know
1:49:50
whatever sure i mean yeah whatever to each his own
1:49:56
no a lot of people love that goth girl i don't know why that was a thing but it was it was definitely a thing
1:50:02
yeah exactly i mean i can't yeah i can't defend that uh
1:50:08
i i think it's like a dearth of representation in cinema in film there's just not a lot of like you know black
1:50:15
lipstick tattooey girls on tv for anything you know there's just a few well that's
1:50:21
the thing though isn't it like on those kind of like investigative shows though there are a whole lot of
1:50:27
like kind of like the quirky like i work in the morgue or
1:50:32
like i'm a tech girl kind of a thing like like a longer
1:50:40
my favorite um my favorite is the one the lady from the first men in black
1:50:46
oh man i love that part where she's just like you know what i like to do here in here when it's when i'm all alone
1:50:53
and he's just like no like no i don't want to know what you do
1:50:59
in the morgue late at night i don't work on that you know what look it up it's good
1:51:05
character a good scene and they they introduce her as a character and then in the second movie they're like oh she couldn't hack it
1:51:11
uh so she quit like they just like assassinate her character like
1:51:16
off-screen that's a shame yeah no and i forget the the lady's name
1:51:21
but like she was great apologies yeah to that lady
1:51:28
yeah we're i'm liking we're gonna get into like a deep rabbit hole if i would go into like the men in black cartoons
1:51:34
let's like back off yeah no no no no yeah we can't get into that morass
1:51:42
so yeah so gabriel gets his stuff yeah and i just wrote love that leather trench coat because it's pretty sweet oh
1:51:49
yeah it's really it's really unnerving seeing annabelle wallace's face like cgi maps
1:51:56
onto the back of the head yeah of the person doing all of the stunts like killing everybody and like pretending to
1:52:02
to do it all backwards it is very off-putting yeah in a way that is really hard to articulate
1:52:09
yes like i don't know if it's like i wouldn't even say it's like a bad effect it's just
1:52:15
it's just creepy it's real weird and yeah so gabriel
1:52:20
he just manages to wipe out the entire police department while just doing like matrix style flips
1:52:26
like over desks and stuff you know somersaults yeah the whole thing yeah someone
1:52:32
listening to this might think that we're like exaggerating on the matrix matrix
1:52:37
like comparison no we're gonna like go watch the scene like
1:52:43
pause the video go watch me yeah what i mean first of all watch the movie but like watch that scene it is it's the
1:52:50
matrix the gabriel gabriel is like it has matrix
1:52:56
powers right so for the entire rest of the movie i only have like three lines
1:53:02
left in my notes because this does wrap up real quick yeah yeah so yeah i just wrote oh oh oh
1:53:09
hey forensics girl lives gabriel goes to the hospital to kill the real mom you
1:53:14
know his biological mother he blows up a pacemaker on a guard like
1:53:20
real unnecessary death there fella but also pretty cool it's like yeah
1:53:27
pretty creative yeah i mean yeah i don't feel like the guy would have put up much of a struggle he
1:53:33
probably could have just done without murdering that guy but it's cool gabriel you're pretty evil yeah
1:53:40
yeah so then gabriel is gonna go kill the mom cindy tries to stop him
1:53:47
uh so gabriel throws a big heavy like bed like i think it's an empty bed like
1:53:53
at her and like pins her down and he's gonna kill her and maddie's just watching you know like
1:53:59
just like in these previous instances when she sees these visions she's she feels helpless to intervene and she's
1:54:05
standing by like like as if she's in a nightmare and then cindy's like i know you're in
1:54:11
there maddie because you totally are and you're conscious and stuff and so cindy's voice is able to kind of
1:54:17
like wake her up and but even when she's awake she still like doesn't have the willpower to do
1:54:22
anything until all that foreshadowing from the beginning pays off because cindy says
1:54:29
gabriel has been feeding off of your children you miscarried all of your babies because of gabriel
1:54:37
oh god i mean like yeah just let that settle in for a moment just yeah just just marinate on that for
1:54:43
a minute yeah first of all how you know how
1:54:50
but second of all why why why why is this in the movie
1:54:56
yeah just to give her like a real strong reason to be mad i guess yeah that feels weird because like
1:55:02
because because like gabriel clearly wakes up because of the violent trauma to the back of her head
1:55:09
so it's sort of like yeah what was what was that doing you know man like what was the
1:55:16
purpose of feeding on the the fetuses you know oh just to slowly rebuild over time i
1:55:22
guess i guess reproductive organs aren't connected to him you know yeah but she might be woke
1:55:29
up anyway so like what was the point of i don't know that just that feels
1:55:35
very needless yeah i i don't know i was gonna say i
1:55:40
disapprove well i mean everyone disapproves of that but what um it's yeah it's more that i don't know
1:55:47
it's it seems like maybe almost an undeveloped idea that was going to be
1:55:53
more prominent in a much sadder movie that i would not want to see yeah
1:55:58
you know if that was the main focus like in um nightmare number street part
1:56:04
five the the dream child i think it is where like freddy is like putting the souls of dead teenagers into the baby
1:56:12
of of the dream master girl to try to like corrupt the baby into becoming a new freddy for him or a new vessel for his
1:56:19
bod his evil spirit i mean that movie sucked because that was the main idea you know like that's not a great angle
1:56:25
it's weird and it's gross yeah that's that's a bummer
1:56:30
yeah if we're being honest i mean it does anger her enough that she maddy like manifests her control and
1:56:38
she's able to take you know the power back and you know and there's this horrible
1:56:43
scene where gabriel kills sydney just blows her brains out and then smothers
1:56:48
the mom and she's like i've i've done it i've done my evil things and then you know and then he hears like
1:56:54
a voice in his head and he's just like oh well you're in a prison of mine making i don't remember exactly what she says but anyway maddie's got him in a in
1:57:01
an illusion you know and actually she's taken control of his body the way that he's done to her so basically like
1:57:08
just in the matter of these seconds she's like learned every trick that he's ever done to her over the
1:57:14
years and can reverse it and you know i know that's really contrived and stupid but it's also like
1:57:22
beautiful i like i love like how convenient and ridiculous like that she's just like and now i can do
1:57:28
all of these things i've done the uno uno reverse card and now i can do those
1:57:33
things to you that you did to me i that's kind of just it
1:57:40
well because we get some like uh the movie has like a bit of it i think it's probably the strongest like
1:57:46
psychic nonsense we get in the movie it's like that scene in fight club where
1:57:52
like you know tyler durden takes the control back from tyler durden i mean i think they're both
1:57:58
named tyler jordan but it's not clear yeah
1:58:04
edward norton takes it back from brad pitt yeah i only remember that movie from the video game time
1:58:10
oh really no that's not even more obscure no i'm kidding let's
1:58:16
oh good thank god dear lord you know what i
1:58:23
i was willing to believe that was true i didn't want it to be though yeah yeah just i just never watched slight club i
1:58:29
didn't love the video game though also it happened in the stephen king movie dreamcatcher
1:58:37
where he like he has like a psychic battle with an alien
1:58:42
for control of his body and mind and he eventually imprisons the alien and takes control of
1:58:48
his mind back uh peter that was not a very good book and it was not a very good movie to be
1:58:54
clear uh that was the uh book with aliens called uh
1:59:00
[ __ ] whistles yeah that is the book that stephen king's
1:59:06
wife calls the one with the [ __ ] weasels in it and i feel like that is a good way to
1:59:11
just summarize that whole book it is that is the worst book of his i've
1:59:16
ever read i i absolutely hated that book yeah i mean that one feels apparently he he
1:59:24
he wrote the whole thing when he was sick or it might have been after he got hit by the van and and was really hurt
1:59:29
so he was doing it on pain meds laying in a hospital bed and i feel like you can really feel that in the story that
1:59:35
like it's all very painful and poorly thought out and stuff that one's weird because it feels like
1:59:42
the kind of thing you would write if you were trying to write a completely self-serious parody
1:59:48
of stephen king's toys you know where it's like you're not cracking fun
1:59:55
but you're like let's do the most absurd stephen king thing
2:00:00
that would be that yeah yeah anyway peter does not recommend
2:00:06
dreamcatcher don't watch that it's not good uh the movie is bad the book is bad yeah stay tuned for our dream catcher
2:00:13
episode you know what like i said yeah we still haven't gotten an episode of this where
2:00:18
i've really hated the movie that that could be a contender for something i would really
2:00:23
really just hate we'll see so yeah so maddie takes control back and
2:00:29
puts gabriel in brain prison it's like literally jail bars he's just like shaking his fist from i know that i will
2:00:36
i'll get you gadget one day like because like there were so many less dumb ways to
2:00:43
show that but i really appreciate that with the bars
2:00:48
yeah and uh you know then maddie needs to go help her adoptive sister yeah uh
2:00:54
sydney and sydney's trapped beneath the bed and she's like oh you can't lift it and maddie's like
2:01:00
hey listen if gabriel has mega strength then i have mega strength
2:01:05
and she does and it's amazing she's just like i've unlocked my body's full potential
2:01:12
even though i'm like this 110 pound looking woman i'm gonna just lift this thing with iron heart iron
2:01:19
hard muscles of steel the power of adrenaline you know the the
2:01:24
mother strength when you have to lift a car yeah you know i
2:01:30
i'm i'm on board i i love that she lived i thought this was going to be one of those movies where she would have to
2:01:35
kill herself you know to do the world a favor but no
2:01:40
gabriel's like i'll be back and she's just like yeah and i'll be ready for you when you do
2:01:47
in the sequel she could just look like you know right at the camera yeah that will totally happen i'll be ready
2:01:54
for you with my awesome super powers that i now have
2:02:00
yes i should just do this and yeah and because of this ending this ending she could have like swept a
2:02:06
cape and walked away to like grandiose music like even though she's technically
2:02:12
responsible for the murder of like 40 people at that police department she's just like wasted everybody
2:02:18
they they make this seem so weird and triumphant it it really does feel like the beginning of like of uh building a
2:02:24
team yeah i want her to be a strange character and like some kind of weird supernatural you know hit squad or
2:02:31
something yeah i don't know yeah you can i don't know if i want a direct sequel
2:02:38
to this but like you can do something with no that's no i would want her just as a character
2:02:44
in some other you know story or something yeah just throw her in i mean you've already
2:02:49
established her crazy story that's why i was saying about the breitbart thing is like let's get somebody who's like a
2:02:55
nutso character is that like like they're not making a break for them
2:03:01
too they can't everybody should you know in a in a just world i feel
2:03:06
like the world was just going to end after that first movie you know yeah i know but i thought some of the stuff
2:03:11
like i think maybe the thing that i was most excited about was like the end credits where it's like
2:03:18
deeply implied that he just hooks up with a bunch of other crazy
2:03:23
evil killer like super villains and he just goes around killing people
2:03:29
from then on out yeah it's just like as if yeah if there's
2:03:34
only super villains in the world and no superheroes so basically the world's just doomed you know yeah
2:03:40
he'll probably become some kind of a tyrant that just rules the earth i you know i don't know i like
2:03:46
uh yeah i don't know i i like the idea of having
2:03:51
even like it you know an evil superhero or like a reformed evil superhero doing
2:03:57
some stuff you know yeah speaking of sequels though uh forbes put
2:04:02
out an article i think it was just a couple of days ago and it just says james wan's malignant is a box office
2:04:10
tragedy yeah i mean maybe not yeah
2:04:18
i don't know that this went too well with people i was this too crazy do you think that they went too far um
2:04:25
yeah probably but like that's what makes it so good it's weird because i i i do i have a
2:04:33
weird love hate thing with this i'm so glad it exists but i mourn
2:04:38
for how poorly it's going to be you know how it's going to work out for everybody you know what i mean sure but i mean
2:04:45
i mean i guess like the unfortunate thing is that when you release a movie like this you
2:04:52
kind of have to like be a james 1k like kind of guy who can go like
2:04:58
but then i'll make something like more suitable to the studios you
2:05:04
know after this yeah and they'll know you know i think they'll know that like
2:05:10
yeah of course like aquaman is going to make a shitload of money you know
2:05:15
i'm looking forward to this movie i'm looking for aquaman i liked the first one a lot
2:05:22
it was fine so yeah this movie cost yeah it cost what was it 40 million dollars
2:05:27
and it got 5.57 million on its opening weekend
2:05:33
so it's not even close to breaking even yet no i was afraid for this movie as i was
2:05:40
watching it i'm like this was too much money this is too much yeah you know
2:05:46
and like and i'm sad because i don't want to encourage bad behavior you know
2:05:51
like this could lead to bad movies but yeah for this movie i'm pleased you know like i'm glad this one exists
2:05:58
i don't know if i like this practice like this is a little wasteful and extravagant you can go pretty cheap on a horror
2:06:04
movie and have it be great but yeah but i feel i feel for this film i i
2:06:10
wanted to do well i was hoping it would do better well no actually i didn't care until i saw the
2:06:16
movie now i hope you know sure like thank you for doing such a weird
2:06:22
movie another strange reimagining of the dark half
2:06:28
another stephen king story that's not very good i was gonna say and lovely use the movie uh reminds me
2:06:35
uh of basket case oh yeah also basket case that's a good
2:06:41
one i mean like although it's funny because like in basket case
2:06:47
the evil twin is treated with uh far more sympathy
2:06:52
yeah ironically yeah they're much nicer to him yeah even though he's well no
2:06:58
he's about equally horrible maybe a little less horrible yeah yeah yeah i mean
2:07:03
it's a different dynamic but i feel like there's no way that james one or his
2:07:09
wife didn't see basket case i don't know yeah i would love to know
2:07:15
what their influences are i was afraid to look i don't i didn't want to have all of that meta knowledge flavor myself
2:07:23
i wouldn't mind figuring it out now like just going back yeah so yeah
2:07:29
so i did i did write down the imdb keywords for this which are all pretty weird well some of them are anyway
2:07:37
uh so i'll run through these and you know and then that'll be basically it all right okay i will say there's you
2:07:42
know what more is there to say i did just find an article called uh how
2:07:48
basket case's legacy carries on in james one's malignant
2:07:59
yeah i feel like it's a much much more direct line to dark half and it is almost the same story as the
2:08:06
about-face episode of tales for the crips but whatever yeah maybe all of those things or maybe none
2:08:12
of those things it could be that like they're so like those things because the um juan's wife never saw them and didn't
2:08:18
realize that she was you know straying into that territory you know yeah i mean
2:08:24
hard to say i uh i mean whatever the case i'm a fan
2:08:31
yeah okay sorry i was gonna say uh sorry not to like
2:08:38
gush too much but like i i do think this is probably the most fun i've had watching a horror movie
2:08:44
recently it is very fun yeah no i agree i don't know what tone they were going for but
2:08:51
fun is what results oh yeah from the film i'm i'm not sure because the
2:08:57
everything that happens is so dark miscarriages murderous murderous visions
2:09:02
yeah a ruined childhood an abusive marriage
2:09:08
an inattentive adoptive sister a world that seems to ignore the lady
2:09:15
and yet it's funny somehow yeah it's it's it's it's cartoonish almost in
2:09:22
a way it's hard to describe but yeah it makes it really fun it's like a weird old like
2:09:29
pulp rag or something you know what that's like a weird fairy tale you know that's a good point
2:09:35
because i you know i can feel that the twist of the second
2:09:41
head that feels like a very tails from the crypt kind of a thing
2:09:46
yes and and that's because it literally is well i mean but what i'm saying is like in like
2:09:52
the comics you know i mean like oh yeah oh yes absolutely like you do
2:09:58
you do the splash panel of the like and this is what's behind her head like
2:10:04
holy [ __ ] another head yeah whoa
2:10:09
yeah that was when the british had taken over uh making the episodes of tales from the crypt the seventh season was the last
2:10:16
season it was also maybe the most dry and inferior yeah although that episode is pretty
2:10:23
good yeah i i not not too recently decided to uh
2:10:31
go back and rewatch some tales from the crypt and man like i know you like that show but
2:10:38
you like in those times pretty quick yeah well okay the the yeah the episodes
2:10:45
are very hit and miss but for me it's like soul food it's like it's greasy and it's bad for you you know it's not it's
2:10:51
not great but it's oddly comforting to me like i i will go watch tales from the
2:10:56
crypt to cheer myself up to reaffirm my joy of life you know i
2:11:02
don't know no i know but yeah a lot of the episodes are really dreadful yeah yeah
2:11:09
okay so i still think it's really that one time we were like hanging out here like we gotta watch
2:11:15
the episode with the handcuffs right but yeah it's just like
2:11:22
good lord like well they they said you like i love that episode no names like
2:11:28
i like i thought that was like so dumb at the time but i was like like afterwards i was thinking about it i'm
2:11:35
like it's actually like the perfect episode to introduce the details from the grips
2:11:41
yeah yeah i i forget what that episode is called or even what season it is but yeah it's that one where like there's
2:11:47
that guy who's he fights a cop he kills the copy he gets handcuffed to the cop he has to carry his corpse across the
2:11:53
desert while he's being chased by a buzzard who like doesn't want to eat the dead guy he wants to eat the living guy
2:11:59
because he's an evil criminal yeah you know maybe criminals taste good so then you know he goes through all
2:12:04
this crap and he's right about to make it to mexico and get away from everybody and he just falls off a cliff and breaks
2:12:11
his neck and gets paralyzed and the vulture just eats him like just you know fresh you know like
2:12:18
while he's still alive and he's screaming he's just like i'm not dead
2:12:23
and man yeah that if you haven't seen that i mean don't don't watch all those tales from the
2:12:29
crypt a lot of the episodes are horrible but yeah find that episode watch that yeah it will stay with you forever
2:12:36
and maybe a good maybe a bad way you know depends on who you are no like
2:12:41
these legitimately leaves an impression it's haunting yes it's like the best way to describe
2:12:48
that episode is like please aim like haunting the story it's stuck with me
2:12:56
yeah i i used to have that joy of just like you know traumatizing my friends
2:13:04
yeah just a little bit i don't know because i guess like before that my like experiences like tales from the
2:13:10
crypt was like the movies which are like grim but less
2:13:20
yeah the tone would vary on who was in charge you know who the director was because every episode was different it's
2:13:25
an anthology so you know yeah somewhere better than others
2:13:31
okay so i got the top 20 imdb plot keywords all right so uh
2:13:38
let's just dive into them real quick woman in jeopardy
2:13:44
i mean that's i mean yeah that's also every horror movie
2:13:49
yeah three people found that relevant but i mean yeah that's like yeah that's almost all movies isn't it like yeah
2:13:55
yeah scary man trying to kill people like oh okay all right someone is upset
2:14:03
well there is some of that yeah okay yeah that one's not helpful but the next one is uh giallo esque
2:14:10
you know because you know it's like a giallo film so yeah i can see that yeah it actually it does have an absurd
2:14:17
italian feel to it in a good way this movie is an amalgamation of
2:14:22
bad habits of several different subjects sub genres of horror all just pushed
2:14:28
together oh my god you know like i'm thinking about it in the whole twist with the
2:14:34
little monster man living on the other side of woman's head i would really want to see a like a 70s
2:14:42
like globally do something like that because it would be just like a horrible puppet and it's like not over
2:14:50
lying for that kind of movie to do that sort of thing but you would no look it would probably be at the very
2:14:56
end of a movie yeah it's just like a shocking outro yes it would be like i wonder who did it
2:15:02
it just revealed ahead like ah yeah it would look so much worse
2:15:08
and then she would just reach out and grab someone's testicles and just rip them off through his pants
2:15:14
yeah like whichever movie that was when that happened it was like the last shot of
2:15:20
a movie with like a frankenstein woman that someone was trying to make and you know it was just a dead body
2:15:25
there was no reason for it to be alive but it just shoots out her hand and just rips off someone's junk and then it just
2:15:31
goes to credits i feel like i know that movie but i can't like
2:15:36
i can't recall it i don't remember what it's called yeah not off the top my head it's too hard to
2:15:42
search for right now but yeah i believe it was covered at one point on the dead meat so you can you can figure
2:15:48
out what you know whichever episode that is
2:15:55
okay so um yeah monster is it a monster well i guess yeah i mean
2:16:02
it acts like a monster
2:16:09
dream blood vision
2:16:14
serial murder and that's you know it's all just basically it's here yeah
2:16:21
imaginary friend it's not bad yeah it's uh not true though i mean they
2:16:27
think it's an imaginary friend but it was never imaginary it was always a distinct organic mass with its own thoughts and
2:16:34
emotions so yeah i mean like shared at least part of its brain with her in spirit i think that works though
2:16:42
yeah everyone seems to think it is serial killer
2:16:49
serial killing death of husband
2:16:55
yeah gore sure
2:17:01
retro horror yeah it does have a very retro feel and that kind of pseudo 80s
2:17:07
thing that we've been doing lately yeah definitely i do like a bit of honoring of the 80s
2:17:16
i'm glad that people have kind of been pulling their punches a bit because i remember in the 90s there was
2:17:22
this weird throwback to like the 50s they were like you know they used to play happy days yeah and like there was
2:17:28
like a pound puppy show where they like played like doo-wop for the theme song there was a lot of weird 50 stuff oh a
2:17:34
little shop of horrors you know it was all doo-woppy and everything yeah
2:17:41
that was heavier into that you know whereas nowadays in the you know the 2020s i guess in the 2010s before that
2:17:49
there's a there's a certain reverence for the 80s but it's not overwhelming it feels like i don't feel like they've
2:17:55
taken it too far although this movie might be borderline this might be a little much easier
2:18:02
i think that's fine i mean like you could do you could do worse i think they didn't go with like 80s outfits
2:18:09
yeah that's the same thing is like it could have been a stranger thing
2:18:14
side ponytail you know on the side of your head oh man i'm glad they didn't bring that back that was terrible
2:18:21
horrible times for everyone yeah terrifying
2:18:28
oh only two of three found that relevant so one person is like no
2:18:34
not terrifying i don't know i mean i guess that's hard to say i mean it's not like i
2:18:40
could freaking i was never scared yeah well wait no let me think there was one or two creepy parts
2:18:46
sure oh that part where the underground tour guide lady was walking down the dark tunnel
2:18:53
and was hearing noises and she had to like run to turn the lights on that part did freak me out because i've had
2:18:59
i've had that happen to me like a hundred times in my life where like i have this feeling like something's right behind me and i need to turn on a light
2:19:07
that part was good yeah i can see that for me yeah
2:19:13
that weird it's an irrational fear you know but but yeah i felt like that like something's like just right about to brush its hands on your back you know
2:19:23
female protagonist yeah
2:19:28
only two or three found that relevant so once again someone's just like nah yeah
2:19:34
gabriel was the real hero yeah
2:19:39
you know that if they do make a sequel they're going to have him be like oh you need me again it'll be like loki or
2:19:46
something now you bring me out thanks
2:19:52
then we have a domestic violence two or three found that relevant so yeah once again now
2:20:00
he was totally in line when he pushed that girl said no i don't that probably isn't what they're thinking but i don't
2:20:05
know
2:20:10
oh next one is the same it's the same yeah abusive husband two or three found that relevant
2:20:18
i'm starting to wonder if there's just one person who's just like a curmudgeon
2:20:25
i don't like this contrary uh psychic connection yeah psychic connection actually is the
2:20:31
most good way to put it because it doesn't give anything away it fits either
2:20:36
version of this movie like the demon thing or like a murderer with a psychic connection or literally being in her own
2:20:42
brain i like that it doesn't it doesn't reveal anything no
2:20:49
and then we just got terror and we got dark sure like okay yeah
2:20:56
there's some dark parts and uh yeah that's it that's the movie
2:21:02
such as it is it's malignant everybody round of applause
2:21:09
[Music] i i'm glad you exist movie thank you
2:21:15
thank you james juan yeah i'm i was pumped for sea less
2:21:21
yeah no i it feels like it was made for me as like if i was like an evil king you know and
2:21:27
i'm like do something that only i would like this is this is what would probably be
2:21:33
made you know i was gonna say like in a lot of ways it feels like
2:21:39
you know so you know when we were younger and we would like watch movies together as a group and
2:21:45
like the the two of us would do this where we would be like
2:21:50
man wouldn't be funny if and we would like come up with like
2:21:56
the most insane scheme or like twist for a movie to take
2:22:01
yes uh this movie did that yeah and i really appreciate it yeah
2:22:08
it's like it's like from a creative standpoint it's excellent yeah yeah just just to see
2:22:14
that someone actually did it they made this this crazy goddamn movie because yeah those things you know we go
2:22:21
like it'd be really funny if they completely messed stuff up at the end and like so and so just went
2:22:29
totally insane and oh yeah this that's just this
2:22:34
movie yeah that is that's they should have advertised it as such
2:22:41
but i think they were trying to bring in people who just wanted to see an ordinary movie yeah i know they they
2:22:47
made it they made a solid attempt to just lure people in like maybe they won't realize that this
2:22:53
is just gonna be a a balls out ridiculous gory
2:22:59
siamese twin monster movie you know like a yeah creature feature uh bizarre
2:23:05
grindhouse nonsense uh yeah
2:23:12
thinking about it like yeah i don't know how you like come in with like no expectation of that
2:23:20
kind of wackiness and then walk away being satisfied
2:23:26
how does a regular human take this movie yeah yeah yeah no seriously you're like what is this
2:23:32
who wasn't expecting this and this is what it is yeah i mean i can see people being mad you know be
2:23:38
like what what even is this yeah but yeah it
2:23:44
it scratches the itch for me like yeah this is like an expression this is like a seeing something through to its logical
2:23:50
or illogical conclusions in a way that uh yeah i find really satisfying yeah
2:23:56
i'm not sure do you think you would recommend it to other people and if so how
2:24:02
uh i already did so that's true that's why we got this podcast going and
2:24:08
you know and thank you jacob because honestly i never would have watched this movie if you hadn't said anything it
2:24:14
looked boring from the trailer oh yeah that's the thing is that's how you that's how you lure in the suckers
2:24:21
and then yeah when and then then you sit beside
2:24:26
the true believers from the people who are like wow i wanted
2:24:32
a lot of animal you know yeah sorry
2:24:37
i wanted laronia or have you say
2:24:49
the the whatever that is yeah yeah yeah like i mean like you don't get a lot of
2:24:54
uh folklore like monster movie
2:25:00
or maybe it's more like ghost movies like that you know so it's always like
2:25:06
very like domestic like vaguely based on slenderman like american movies yeah
2:25:13
yeah yeah but not directly because there was an attempted murder involved in in that one oh sure
2:25:21
like even the conqueror got into that it [Music]
2:25:36
uh i don't care for this no yeah but this this kind of sucks
2:25:43
no i'm fan my only regret in the film is that the detectives didn't die i honestly didn't
2:25:49
like cocoa cacoya kekko shaw yeah i knew i was going to say it
2:25:55
and uh and detective regina moss his his partner i wanted them both to die
2:26:01
they only get a little cut up at the end and that's it yeah well i mean uh there's a lot of loose plot threads
2:26:06
about them that are never resolved you know like the relationship with the sister or any of that none of that's
2:26:12
addressed it doesn't matter i mean nobody cares well yeah nobody cares we also
2:26:18
see that stuff for the sequel man yeah that juicy sequel coming up
2:26:24
from this huge flop god i hear you have to make like double your
2:26:30
production budget more or less break even so it may be a while before they even get in the green
2:26:37
on this one yeah it's not happening which is a shame well is it a shame it's
2:26:43
sort of a shame i have mixed feelings about it but i want i would like
2:26:50
i would want to see a sequel based on this even though i think it would be a really bad idea to do a
2:26:56
sequel yeah i like i said i want i want gabriel and
2:27:02
this lady uh madison madison mitchell i want them to be in someone else's
2:27:09
movie as like just just brought in sure it's some kind of us yeah supernatural team or something weird
2:27:16
or just throw her in as a specialist or something you know like i don't
2:27:22
i don't know maybe that's a maybe that's too corny and comic booky but that's kind of why i like the idea and you know
2:27:28
honestly this movie is so ridiculous it would fit right into that kind of thing it's borderline
2:27:35
you know like you can see it's too early she's got the superpowers already yeah that's the thing is
2:27:41
like there's no reason they had to establish that she had the powers after gabriel
2:27:48
yeah i'm real strong why don't worry about it yes
2:27:53
like why had that detail if you are willing to just go completely
2:28:00
insane vote sequel maybe james wan has already written like two scripts and he just hasn't told
2:28:06
anyone he's like yeah it's part of a trilogy good i hope so i think that'll be a lot
2:28:12
of fun yeah start up a kickstarter james one i'll give you five bucks
2:28:18
you sure yeah possibly more i do
2:28:24
all right so yeah i think we're about done here jacob i feel like we've done some good work
2:28:29
yeah so uh the lord's work even yeah
2:28:35
excise the tumor in our brain that was our thoughts about this movie
2:28:42
yeah uh we cut out the cancer and uh and we pushed the bad parts back into the back of our skull and we sealed
2:28:49
it up yes that's a great way to think about it
2:28:55
so if anyone out there has any interest in any of our other stuff you can go to gorman on gourd at uh
2:29:01
or go gorman on gourd.bustsprout dot com i can't even pronounce my own crap our email is at gormanon gore at
2:29:09
protonmail.com you can tweet us at gormanongor
2:29:17
yeah and uh yeah i mean i wish you warm and good feelings i
2:29:22
guess you know enjoy yourselves have a good time have a good life
2:29:29
yeah that sounds really final for uh well we're gonna do more
2:29:44
enjoy your last moments everybody yeah enjoy the parasocial relationship we
2:29:50
have yeah so i've been peter
2:29:55
i'm still jacob and this has been gorman on gore
2:30:03
[Music]
2:30:14
hey there we go that's good enough
2:30:20
that's pretty good
2:30:25
[Music]

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