Gorman On Gore EP9 First Annual Christmas Special Featuring Krampus The Naughty Cut (2015)

Merry Christmas and a happy new year. We round out the end of the year by reviewing the infamous Christmas cult sensation Krampus and the recent release of the new Naughty cut of the film. How could we not? It has kidnapping demons, David Koechner, anxiety-ridden holiday family dinners, evasive grandmas with shadowy pasts who simply refuse to speak English. Krampus is a good all-around film and a good starter for those unsure of if they want to dip their toe into, shall we say, meatier fare. Let us be your guide. Also, go watch Tremors, it's pretty good.

Happy holidays folks. Stay safe, and for the love of God, do NOT tear up your letter to Santa!




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Transcript

0:08

[Music]

0:18

it's that time again time for bright twinkling festive lights chill winter's breeze

0:24

the promise of well-wishing the re-affirmation of the familial bonds and the joys of gift giving

0:32

cinnamon and eggnog die hard and home alone stockings and christmas trees

0:38

it's christmas time and i bid you all welcome curl up by a roaring fire kick up your heels

0:45

and have yourself a listen did santa leave us a gift this year or a lump of coal

0:51

find out today on gorman on gore episode 9 christmas with krampus

0:59

[Applause] [Music] there is a santa claus

1:04

[Music] they want someone to notice who's good

1:10

or bad

1:15

[Music] the offspring of an alpha the human is

1:21

neither elf or is a human [Music]

1:27

[Applause] [Music]

1:41

welcome to our horror podcast everybody i'm your host peter gorman i'm pleased to once again have by my

1:47

side my co-host jacob hello jacob how are you feeling the yuletide spirit

1:53

uh yes i'm feeling pretty good

1:58

so yeah how's the how's the season been for you you know we haven't talked in a while

2:03

uh-huh that's fine i uh you know i went up to uh see some family for thanksgiving

2:10

unfortunately we uh we couldn't hang out but you know yeah jacob we couldn't maybe next time

2:20

well sorry stuff came up i have like a my own little christmas story it's ridiculous so i'm almost loath to bring

2:27

it up but i was trying to find a bunch of christmas sweaters this year i bought

2:32

three i ended up buying three i got one that's just deer with beer so it's just kind of a it's a normal christmas

2:39

sweater it's actually not bad looking you know some some christmas sweaters are supposed to look really ugly

2:44

but this one just looks fairly normal and then i then i got two that are just a little weirder i got a star wars sweater you

2:50

know because everyone does and then i got a um what i thought was a jason voorhees sweater uh it turns out i

2:58

was wrong and i didn't realize it until people started commenting on it

3:05

and they're like wow peter i didn't know you you liked wu-tang i'm like what you're like oh yeah you know that's

3:10

ghost face killer on your sweater i'm like is it i thought that was just a hockey mask for jason

3:16

and you're like no man you got dragons on your sleeves that's the woods symbol

3:23

wait yeah but yeah that should be a kind of a big clue

3:28

well i just thought they were random dragons i mean such is my naivete you know like i didn't know until somebody

3:34

at work it was like this delivery man who was just like oh man i love your ghost face kill a sweater i'm just like

3:41

what like he was like oh that's promoting me

3:46

i was like you know i haven't actually um i haven't listened to wu-tang i hope it's okay

3:52

he doesn't like say something weird does he i guess we'll find out i really like the sweater so regardless i mean it's got a lovely color scheme it's like

3:59

yellow and green and black i mean well granted a lot of people don't like those colors but i i

4:04

like them because they have kind of an intense kind of horror feel to me a lot i like kind of a

4:09

you know like a yellow green combo but uh yeah i guess it's also sort of just like

4:14

an african heritage thing and i had no idea so uh you know whatever

4:26

um so you know it's been interesting walking around with that and not really like i'm sorry

4:32

[Music] sure

4:37

i mean i feel like you're obligated to at least listen to analysis i oh yes i do and i'm sorry i should have done that

4:42

before i've just been i've just been terribly busy so you know

4:49

so busy everybody oh speaking of jacob i'm sorry but yeah

4:57

i will i will i'll give you guys an update on what i think of ghost face killa you know i see some of his more

5:02

recent work and see see you know what his ubra is like

5:08

but in celebration of the holiday season i thought it fitting that we cover a christmas horror film

5:15

for whatever reason there are surprising plethora of choices we got you know you got your gremlins you got your black

5:21

christmases there's three of those silent night deadly night

5:26

jack frost the michael keaton one and also the murderer one the list goes on

5:34

but i thought that we should go for something a little more recent so today dear listeners we're going to cover the

5:40

2015 film krampus you know it's like i just i wrote in my

5:46

notes like mention the naughty cut in case i screwed it up but i just got the naughty cut in the mail it just came

5:52

out it debuted on december uh i believe it was 7th from shout factory i

5:57

pre-ordered it on december 6th and so i got it just yesterday which is

6:03

the 10th because we're recording on saturday the 11th i'm hoping to get this out before christmas

6:09

i guess we'll see it just depends on how long this crap goes

6:14

i mean i'm not going to say you disappointed me if we don't get it out by christmas but uh

6:20

tick-tock yeah no i i think i can do it i think i have it within me so yeah you know fingers crossed to everybody

6:27

because i don't want to get whipped with a birch stick you know by krampus for having not done so

6:35

yeah yeah speaking of which i'm i'm going to mention later in the podcast i'm going to briefly mention some of the

6:42

krampus stuff but not a lot i do not in the least consider myself an expert on anything krampus i i think he's great

6:50

i love the idea of him but you know i i'm not from the austro-bavarian region

6:55

i'm not some sort of a pagan from northern germany i don't really know much about it i just occasionally see

7:00

those youtube videos of the creepy demons going on parade and i wish i was there

7:08

i will say i uh found the uh delightful thread on on twitter relating to krampus specifically

7:16

a set of old vintage drawings of a lady krampus a

7:24

gigantic woman beating men with sticks and putting them in her

7:29

sack on her pack and let me tell you something those guys

7:35

look please yeah you know i didn't know that was a thing

7:41

but now that you've said it i can believe it yeah that makes sense to me

7:46

i yeah it's it it's all yeah it like almost makes too much sense it's all coming together

7:52

all right so also i have to mention there are several

7:57

krampus films uh we're doing the good one everybody there's a bunch of bad ones okay well

8:03

maybe i should just say we're doing the best one i'll leave our reviews for the end but yeah you know

8:09

this is the 2015 one this is the one you're thinking of when you think of the krampus film not of those terrible ones

8:15

where krampus fights santa and all of that i don't know maybe eventually we'll get to those or we'll do them all in mass or

8:22

something you know like a krampus special with all the bad krampus films in a row you know i was kind of thinking that

8:28

would be a fun thing to do we'll see yeah i've been debating about that concept about like movies that don't

8:34

quite merit an episode and so you can just sort of like summarize them real quick and be like

8:40

yeah well whatever you could like do everything for a genre or some kind of really bizarre

8:45

sub genre some kind of little sub category or something like that yeah see i i was thinking

8:51

bigfoot movies oh you bring them up again horny rapist bigfoot

8:58

yeah not all that by the way audience it's not all that but it's

9:04

mostly that it's like 60 it's it's more the egg

9:10

more than yes and yeah i forgot actually of course we did um how could we not

9:16

yeah that's true i know i mean listen i'm from the northwest it's like the bigfoot capital of the

9:22

world and by the world i mean you know they don't exist anywhere but we talk about it the most

9:32

all right so or uh oh god you know what a uh a bunch of the like

9:37

off holiday horror movies would be another good one like like the ones are like hey it's like

9:44

valentine's day or it's like easter day perhaps perhaps even easter

9:49

day movies that like just have like one or two well i don't know i mean we could

9:54

try to save that for when those things actually occur you know but uh but then it i guess it would be nice to

10:01

kill them before that though just so you're not obligated you're like listen we already did all the terrible easter movies

10:07

we did critters too i mean that's kind of what yeah just knock them out yeah

10:13

but as soon as we get to st paddy's day though we're finished because that's all leprechaun movies you know and there's like

10:18

seven of those i'm not even sure anymore oh my gosh there's so many yeah no okay i think we can i think we can

10:24

just say definitively that maybe probably will do leprechaun movie at some point uh we are not going to do

10:30

some like giant medley of uh well you can't see it but i'm smiling right now you know i make no promises

10:38

but probably not probably i don't know to what deaths we

10:44

will sink dear audience you know for your listening pleasure

10:50

like that horrible leprechaun remake that nobody likes i think it was on like the sci-fi

10:55

channel or something yeah god that one's like yeah it's actually kind of wild how bad that one is

11:02

so anyway before we uh like especially with it i don't want to get too far off of what we're actually talking about

11:07

today so how's about we play the trailer yeah

11:12

all right

11:19

how are we going to survive christmas with 12 people stuck in a house with no heat and no electricity or food there's

11:24

plenty of leftovers howard beer it is it's the weirdest thing there's no cars no people how long can

11:31

this keep up he and his helpers did not come to give but to take

11:45

everybody hold on to each other [Applause]

11:55

he is the shadow of saint nicholas

12:07

[Music]

12:16

[Music] it's christmas nothing bad's gonna

12:22

happen on christmas

12:27

nothing bad ever happens on christmas jacob

12:32

i forgot how long that trailer was so yeah we have a real solid a really solid cast for this one we got so we got we

12:40

got adam scott from parks and rec we've got tony collette you know from yeah she's from

12:45

hereditary and knives out we got david kechner from anchorman

12:51

films and other stuff all kinds of things and then we have the adorable

12:56

misanthrope aunt conchata farrell she's from two and a half men she did that show for 12 years

13:04

good luck she's been doing tv since 1974. i looked her up on imdb it's just nuts how much stuff she's done

13:12

huh i will say uh speaking of uh tony collette

13:17

this movie is sort of like retroactively like like going back and re-watching it

13:23

very much more funny with her in it because i can't help but think but think

13:28

of her as the mom from her eyelid and it's like man that's really kind of funny now yeah

13:35

you'll see like her doing a face that you saw on the ground here and it's like okay that's pretty good yeah it's it's

13:40

weird because she plays a nice moment and uh and you keep thinking she's gonna flip out yeah but that's not her role

13:46

here she's just a regular mom yeah though there's like a an added

13:52

purely unintentional bit of intensity with their character it's like they hired michael keaton or

13:58

not michael keaton well he freaks out too but no i was thinking of uh jack nicholson because he's infamous for just

14:03

doing like flip out scenes you hire him and then you just have him do like really boring stuff and like everyone

14:08

just keeps expecting him to like blow up and then they never you know he never does he's like oh okay yeah yeah

14:16

yeah it's sort of like uh looks like nicolas cage movies where nicholas cage just kind of plays a guy

14:23

yeah like he'll do those every now and then and it's like what do you why yeah what is this

14:29

the other day i finally saw color out of space and he starts as a guy and then he starts like over the course

14:36

of the movie he turns into himself from vampires kiss you know where he uses

14:41

that horrible like fake accent like i don't know what that is it's it's

14:46

really bad acting but for some reason it's mesmerizing from him specifically

14:52

yeah i don't know if i would recommend that movie or his performance but i'm glad for both yeah you know what i i liked it

14:59

well and i would recommend it so before we get into the film

15:05

in our scene by scene analysis rather generally speaking would you recommend your common everyday

15:12

humdrum viewer watch this oh sure i feel like that's maybe the uh one of the best things about this movie

15:18

is such an accessible horror movie that's true

15:23

i would say like my younger cousins you know it is pg-13

15:30

by the way or at least the non-naughty cut is but i will say though that what

15:35

they add in the naughty cut is almost unnoticeable in the um offensiveness

15:40

category they lengthen a few gory scenes but it adds almost nothing and it

15:46

doesn't really change anything it's so minor you kind of wonder why they were forced to take it out in the first place

15:53

it's a strange business working with the mpaa yeah so yeah i would i would say a week yes

16:01

uh which i will explain by the end i'd say i don't know there's no there's enough good stuff here that people should see it but i do have some

16:08

reservations which we will get into okay

16:13

so without further ado let's have ourselves a merry little christmas jacob

16:22

so i watched the brand new collector's edition naughty cut i spent the 30 dollars

16:27

i bought the blu-ray 4k combo i can't even play the 4k

16:32

there's a real strong anti-pc thing with 4k stuff it really doesn't want to be

16:38

viewed on a pc it tries so hard to not in fact i couldn't play the regular

16:44

blu-ray either i had to burn it even though i just wanted to watch it like they forced me to steal it to just be

16:50

able to view it there was some kind of compatibility issue with you know with vlc you know

16:56

some of the regular players i was gonna have to go download a library or whatever it's like you know what i

17:02

already know how to rip stuff i'm just gonna do that so i i spent an hour last night just ripping this blu-ray on my

17:09

computer just so i could watch it uh i just bought it off of youtube

17:14

yeah yeah that's fine that's all you need i should have just got like a dvd or something but

17:22

no that's fine so yeah so jacob watched the theatrical cut i watched the naughty cut there's

17:28

about four minutes of difference between the two hopefully i caught most of the differences along the way here but i

17:35

only just got this cut like yesterday so you know it's fresh out of shout factory so you're gonna have to bear with me

17:40

folks i'm doing my best um there's a lot of notable dialogue that is easy to

17:46

figure out that it's new but a lot of the trimming of the gore and some of the action is really hard to figure out

17:53

unless you do side by side but the time differences mean that it's really hard to do things side by side i've never

17:58

done that kind of uh playing two things at the same time kind of a comparison it sounds too

18:03

complicated to me so i didn't do that even though i do have both

18:10

okay so we get a very frosty and icy looking uh universal logo i love the icicles on it

18:16

actually i don't know if it gave you like that fearsome vibe as soon as the movie started but i was just thinking that it

18:21

almost foreshadows how kind of dark everything gets like by the end you know because for the first half

18:27

of the movie it's pretty cheerful or at least kind of it's like um national lampoon christmas vacation

18:34

cheerful you know like it's cynical but you're still having a good time it's only later on where it's just like

18:40

oh all right then this took a turn it's kind of funny how like

18:45

how abrupt that turn is too it is very abrupt and yeah we'll get to that

18:51

we get a fun montage of retail workers getting trampled at a i think it's a black friday sale so it must be just

18:57

after thanksgiving yeah well wait no it can't be because this is a few days before

19:03

christmas like it's on the same day and the boy max is a bruise and they're doing a recital for uh i

19:10

think it's a nativity scene he plays like max is given a terrible role i think he's like a deer or

19:16

something and he's like attacking i think one of the three wise men who said something mean and so he started you

19:21

know punching him out but before all that i mean there's some kind of a sale i guess it's not a black

19:27

friday sale it's just some other kind of sale and one of the retail workers just leaps out of the way rather than try to

19:32

stop the crowd i kind of related to that lady it's like oh whatever guys just take it

19:37

yeah i've worked on christmas it's not fun yeah i did a stint in toys r us uh years ago

19:45

and it's all just madness like you know there's no there's no stopping the flood no

19:50

i will say i thought it was funny i noticed that sort of in the background one

19:57

couple mother [Music] husband you know yeah they're buying a just

20:04

gigantic box of pop tarts it's like that in wrapping paper i it's

20:11

like it was very silly for some reason when i was working at toys r us that was one of the things

20:16

they sold it was like all toys and then at the very front it was it was pop tarts and ice cream bars in in freezers

20:23

and i don't know why they did that so they must have had some kind of a deal going i don't know if that was

20:30

some kind of weird implication of the movie but that sounds a little too deep cut for me it's probably just a random

20:35

product they threw in there yeah yeah i guess as far as like

20:40

junk foodie stuff young me probably would have been pretty psyched to get a

20:46

huge pack of pop tarts yeah it's good college food you don't even have to cook it you just you just shove

20:52

it into your face yeah i have to say if you're gonna do that by

20:58

the way um you want the um i forget either the s'more i think was really good and also there was one it

21:04

was called like jungle berry or something like that i forget wild berry that one was pretty good raw try one of

21:10

those guys i feel like i'm mostly just stuck with the uh the cherry

21:16

yeah well it's pretty basic of you jacob i know it's like the most common one

21:22

yeah so okay so the title comes in early it's framed in a wreath overlooking the consumerist chaos

21:29

you know not not to come in too hot here jacob but does the movie think that we all deserve

21:34

to die i mean is that the point of all this um

21:40

yeah i mean i'm not gonna say die but i i do feel there is uh

21:45

an undercurrent of none of us are without sin i guess

21:51

yeah there's there's such a bleakness to the whole thing

21:57

and yeah like looking down on us with disapproval you know like like i feel like the movie kind of hates us a little

22:03

bit you know look at these stupid filthy people trying to buy their packages

22:09

forking over their hard-earned money with sad looks on their face for things they don't want to people who won't

22:15

appreciate it that's christmas yeah i don't know it's

22:23

so i don't know i mean it's a fun little montage but it is pretty pretty intense right off the bat i mean we get fist

22:29

fights we get tasering there's a weeping children on a fake santa's lap

22:35

we get a you know depressed and bedraggled customers were forking over

22:41

money as you already said you know hundreds of dollars to get crap and just looking real sad while you're doing it

22:48

i related most to the kids who were on the santa's lap and freaking out i was one of those kids there was like a blink and you

22:55

missed it thing where it also abruptly cuts to some smiling old lady

23:01

which i feel like in the greater context of that scene feels oddly sinister

23:16

there's a nativity scene recital at this store i guess and we have mj anthony

23:21

he's a boy who plays the sun max he's getting into a slow motion fist

23:26

fight with some kids and his sister beth is filming and just smiling broadly like

23:32

she's just just eating this up yeah you just made my day max

23:39

i mean i guess if i saw one of my siblings just doing deep [ __ ] on someone i'd probably smile

23:45

too yeah i really like the oblivious lady who's on the organ because she her back

23:51

is turned and she doesn't know what's happening so she's just like happily playing i don't know i was thinking maybe she's hard of hearing and so she just doesn't

23:57

notice that there's just chaos behind her oh you know that might be the lady i was talking about so nevermind they

24:04

if that is her then uh sinisterness withdrawn i was thinking well if that is

24:10

the way you're thinking of i mean yeah it's more just i think she's oblivious and uh yeah and innocent

24:16

yeah yeah as we find out later though the supernatural deities of this film

24:21

don't care if you're innocent or not they don't give any kind of a damn

24:27

they will pull you down into krampus hell for any old reason

24:34

max's parents intervene they they pull the kids apart and they take max home

24:39

and you know when they get there you see a lovely kitchen amidst a truly enormous amount of pastries and baked

24:46

goods like i don't know like 20 pounds of cookies and just sweets and all kinds of stuff

24:53

and you see max's german grandmother just quietly toiling away making gingerbread cookies

24:58

and she's got the um yeah in the background she's got the classic 1951 black and white adaptation

25:05

of the christmas carol that's the one that people think is the best it's got alistair sim in it as uh as ebenezer

25:11

scrooge personally it's not my favorite my favorite is the the made for tv one that

25:17

stars patrick stewart i like that one because they have a lot of adorable british things in it like

25:23

they they boil punch by putting a hot poker in it and they play their little victorian games and i kind of like that

25:28

weird kind of inside baseball stuff you know like learning about the weird lives of uptight british people from the

25:35

whenever's you know the dickensian period yeah i yeah i think they probably just went

25:41

with the most recognizable one yeah you have a favorite i don't know if you can think of one off the top of your

25:46

head i honestly know well how about the flintstones christmas

25:52

carol i forget does anyone have kazoo and i because i i don't know if i feel like that's

25:58

that really affects my opinion of it because like i like the idea

26:04

let's see it'll go up a star if kazoo is there because you know you need that space alien yeah yeah yeah yeah

26:11

another old reference by the way i don't know if any child younger than us has actually sat down

26:17

and watched the flintstones but it was a huge thing back in the day it was the longest running cartoon show before the

26:22

simpsons ran for like 30 years so yeah and they had a christmas special where

26:29

fred flintstone plays ebenezer in a play and then he starts to act like i've been easier in

26:35

real life so it's got a weird meta thing where where like he has to reform himself in

26:40

the play and in real life which is very strange yeah anyway

26:46

so we got max engel we got his sister beth and his parents and they all you know they're all coming home they put an

26:52

ice pack on max's eye because he got punched max explains that he started the fight because the other kid was telling little

26:58

children that santa only existed to sell coca-cola i mean that's that's kind of true

27:05

i mean truth be told nobody portrayed santa better than coke i actually own a

27:10

leather-bound book with illustrations of the coca-cola santa claus with like poems and stuff you know like uh the

27:17

night before christmas and you know all the classics and carols and whatever yeah i like the concept of it better than the

27:24

execution now that i own it i was thinking about it i'm like oh i love those santa faces but when you own the

27:29

whole picture it's just like almost half the picture is the coke bottle and it's it's so consumerist that it really

27:36

it's pulling the some of the joy away i didn't think i would feel that way when i owned it but now i'm just like uh

27:42

god this is just this whole book is just a big coke ad the coke santa

27:49

is a great representation i mean like nobody wants to hear that or like be reminded of it no and he was

27:56

telling like first grader kids yeah yeah this kid who got punched and so also max as we find out he's a true

28:03

believer he's a little old for a true believer but he he kind of hedges when he when he

28:09

explains why he was punching the kid he's just like yeah he's he was revealing it to the little kids i mean

28:15

it didn't need to matter to me but you know but for the little kids as a result of his starting a fight and

28:21

ruining this recital nobody wants to watch the charlie brown christmas special with him

28:26

two things though two things max just drop kicked a wise man into the manger so it's not uncalled for to not

28:33

let him call the shots he's in trouble oh yeah absolutely yeah and secondly and perhaps

28:40

controversially the charlie brown christmas special while a classic and probably one of the best peanut specials

28:46

isn't that fun to watch i i don't think everyone agrees with me on that yeah but i i absolutely agree

28:55

oh dear i thought you were

29:07

a bit further i think peanuts in general can just be kind of a bummer to sit through

29:13

well i mean that's that's like the idea it's supposed to be like charmingly cynical or or bleak or whatever

29:22

it's just sort of like oh it's just my luck that this wouldn't work out you know but then that happens to him for

29:27

everything and it's just a big bummer i like i don't have a lot of patience for that kind of negativity

29:34

yeah yeah i mean like i do leave it still i do have like a

29:40

collection of uh some of the comic strips and they're like they're like they're fun they're cute yeah i give the

29:45

ones they're something uh depressing but it's like i don't know sitting through like 20 plus minutes of

29:52

that stuff uh it's a bit much it's not bad i'm not i'm not trying to say it's a bad special it actually is

29:59

nice no charm and it's kind of understated and has an adult feel to it that's actually rare for christmas

30:04

specials it's just that it only gets good for me right at the end because everything's

30:10

real you know bleak and kind of empty until finally they have like you know

30:15

they rebuild the christmas tree and they have a little song at the end and it's like hey there's one nice moment in your

30:20

whole miserable life charlie brown you know like if you want to skip to the end like i'll sit down for that part you

30:27

know that's fine with me yeah when i ordered the coca-cola santa book

30:32

the bookstore accidentally initially sent me a fancy leather bound peanuts christmas special book

30:39

and i'm going to tell you right now i'm going to tell all of you that when i opened that package and saw charlie

30:45

brown's face on the cover my heart sank i'm so upset

30:53

i thought i made a mistake i'm just like i can't believe i ordered this book i am such an idiot i looked it up and it was

30:58

like oh wait a minute they just set the wrong book so thank god i sent that thing away

31:04

immediately posthaste take this back i wouldn't take this if you were giving

31:10

it away i mean they probably wouldn't let you keep it to be honest yeah maybe i don't know i feel like amazon's like

31:17

oddly wax that kind of thing like yeah that's fine whatever just keep it no i i

31:22

did this through a private i forget some sort of book service or whatever you know yeah i do book collectory things you

31:28

know it's one of my many hobbies so yeah it's i've bought things from all across

31:34

america and canada and britain just all over the place

31:39

i don't mean to crap on you guys if you like charlie brown i'm just not really a peanuts fan so you know

31:47

yeah so in the next scene we have sarah angle this is uh tony colette she's the mom

31:52

she has a succession of family pictures taken with mall santas on the wall but there's only four so she's only been

31:59

doing this for like four years including this year which seems weird to me you know like why would there only be four

32:04

or maybe she like retires them when they get too old but i mean honestly i think family pictures are better the older they are

32:11

you know especially if there's like a long succession because you can just see how much people grow up along the way

32:16

or when like their life takes like a real harsh turn you know and suddenly they become like really shaggy and

32:22

disheveled you know or their clothes change you know people disappear you know that kind of

32:27

stuff jesus i feel like you've convinced me that just like doing the most recent ones are

32:33

good now when you know when when i'm going to call her sarah you know but it's tony

32:39

colette when when sarah checks out this latest picture everyone's standing there and santa's

32:45

just checking out her daughter's butt and uh it's just ridiculous and it makes

32:50

me sad good stuff everybody nice start to the movie

32:56

i i mean it's funny well again like it is funny it's just

33:01

i'm not sure what the tone is maybe for the whole movie but like even this beginning part like it it's it

33:08

almost has a tone but it doesn't quite have one like i can't tell if it's being really negative and cynical or if it's

33:15

just being kind of sarcastic and poking fun you know like ah but we're all friends here you know

33:20

like like it's not ultimately pessimistic i i don't know

33:25

i get this feeling that they're just being really negative and i also got that feeling from the other

33:31

thing that this director did this is uh directed by michael doherty and he made the cult halloween anthology

33:38

classic trick or treat let's trick the letter r and then treat

33:45

and that one too is it's a big hit with people people love that movie

33:50

i'm kind of lukewarm on it and i think for similar reasons i think that movie also has tone issues where

33:56

it keeps going back and forth between surreal and serious and cynical and i'm just like well

34:01

can you just choose the tone and just kind of stick with it you know i'd always felt a little i don't know a little muddled i guess

34:08

uh yeah i can see it you man but you know what uh movie of his uh

34:14

does not have town issues 2019's godzilla king of the monsters

34:21

yeah which one was that was that the uh was that the american one

34:26

that set up all of this interconnected universe stuff yeah it's the yeah like the sequel where

34:32

yeah they uh have all the other monsters and create some kind of monster verse

34:39

i want michael doherty to do more things so i'm happy to know he's got to do a

34:44

big expensive movie i'm glad he's not finished this movie was a relative success

34:50

so you know i think it's it's always yeah i was going to say i feel like all three of these moves are pretty well

34:56

regarded yeah aren't they doing a sequel to trick-or-treat i know they've been talking about it for

35:03

years i don't know if they've actually confirmed it so maybe i wouldn't be surprised all you need are

35:09

like three interconnected things just like three short stories yeah

35:14

but we'll save that for a halloween podcast okay right now this is christmas the time of of giving and joy

35:21

and warmth so yeah so

35:26

what was that i was gonna say was i mean so is happening if think about it you'd give

35:32

candy you give candy under dress because if you don't your house gets egged

35:39

i like doing it and speaking of which you know in this movie it seems to set up the notion that

35:44

you have to give your faith and love your loyalty to santa or your

35:49

your soul will be dragged to hell forever you know even just incidentally it

35:56

doesn't even have to be you it can just be someone in your family loses hope and then everyone dies

36:03

like the weakest link brings you all down yeah pretty strong message

36:09

i'll be real mad you know if krampus shows up to my house because i'm like wait a minute wait wait i still have

36:14

hope in my heart which one of you which one of you a-holes lost hope

36:22

which one you did you know peter if you uh reacted that way i feel like

36:28

krampus might have cause to uh be angry with you

36:35

yeah well we'll get into krampus motives or lack thereof as we go along

36:40

i'm not sure of what he's thinking about through most of the movie yeah he's kind of a blank slate to me

36:46

speaking of a blank slate max and his grandmother seem to have a special bond he calls her omi

36:52

which is sort of like a a slangy thing for like grandmother in german he understands her german but only

36:58

speaks english to her and she understands his english and only speaks german to him

37:05

what is with that i i don't understand this grandma is so weird to me

37:11

i feel like she's like one of my favorite characters in this movie just because she is a solid german

37:16

grandmother yeah well no i like i like an odd german grandmother but it just feels like she's being like

37:23

deliberately opaque it's like she doesn't want to help anyone and she doesn't want to talk to anybody

37:30

yeah i mean she definitely has a uh kind of dark and secretive horror to her

37:36

yeah omi tells max that to believe in saint nicholas is to believe in the holiday

37:41

and in sacrifice and then she just gets like a real ominous look on her face you know like

37:48

she's thinking back to her old cult days or something you know like seeing someone tied to a table we all have to

37:54

make sacrifices i was only 10 when we lost the battle of

38:00

berlin father said we had to go away we all knew he would never willingly go to

38:05

nuremberg he took his own life that year what was that omi oh nothing

38:17

that's my first and last grandma it was a nazi joke so there there you have it folks

38:22

yeah yeah i mean we gotta do one i didn't want to yeah

38:29

oh my god i worked out the math she would have been 10 years old so it works all right it works everybody

38:36

okay well i'm glad you did the uh did the math on that um we're gonna age out soon you know we

38:42

can't we won't be able to make the nazi jokes anymore because everyone's going to be dead so

38:47

this is like the last generation where it's even yeah yes

38:52

yeah what a bummer that will be for us making fun of germans you know

38:57

like what a loss we will all have collectively seriously

39:02

i can hardly imagine something worse yeah this inconvenience is really bumming me

39:09

out i'm gonna have to find like new things i'm gonna have to look something up finally something other than like

39:15

70 year old data i have about germany

39:21

i look peter don't worry we'll get something working

39:26

yeah i don't know i'll just go over to something about angela merkel and we'll just

39:32

now that she's gone you know like it'll be funny because it's irrelevant also

39:37

sure yeah okay so anyway moving on

39:42

up in her room in the attic uh daughter beth talks to her boyfriend over skype or something you know some kind of video

39:49

service he wants to get high with her on a festive christmas bong

39:54

but she regretfully says she'll probably not be able to go visit even though he only lives a few blocks away

40:00

i think he lives like four blocks from her house and just so the audience knows right now

40:06

the minor spoiler uh this character only exists to make people separate and die

40:11

so uh you know there you go folks he's just there to encourage people to go somewhere they

40:17

shouldn't go and then die uh yeah yeah i i don't know i don't know why i'm

40:24

such a stickler for it but i i am very irritated by like a i don't know what you call it

40:30

like a domino effect of like one stupid decision going to many more stupid decisions

40:36

i prefer that i don't know i it's more tragic when people are doing their best and it just doesn't work out

40:43

it just seems like it's a lazy writer thing to just make people stupid and short-sighted you know when they're just

40:48

doing stuff hastily and then people have to save them because they did something hastily

40:53

and that leads to more hardship and death uh i don't know i don't feel like what went

40:59

down was terribly unrealistic also i i did have a thought

41:05

about this uh this actor do you think he like goes around saying that he was

41:12

in the movie krampus because he if i was him i definitely would

41:19

okay let me get cause like you can't say that he wasn't in it but he was in it for

41:26

half a minute yeah i mean not to reveal too much but later on they go to his house and he's

41:32

not there either so he's just like never there yeah okay so dad is downstairs drinking a

41:39

talisker 10 year old single malt scotch whiskey i just happened to like pause the

41:46

movie when he had the bottle out i was like hey i could just look this up i've actually been trying various

41:51

scotches they all kind of taste like the same you know for cleaning surfaces

41:57

it's the tradition but i haven't tried a talisker 10. so i can't tell you one way or the other if

42:03

this is a good thing it seemed like it was kind of a pricey bottle so you know it's probably good

42:09

i also just like that he has to prep himself in his own quiet male way before

42:14

all of the in-laws show up at their house and just create chaos for the next three days

42:19

yeah mom sarah has to psych herself up to work up the nerve to open the door when

42:25

they knock on the doorbell or no knock on the doorbell they ring the doorbell and they ring it a lot i hate people

42:33

like this by the way like i know i'm not allowed to punch you in the face when you come to my door but if you ring my

42:38

doorbell a lot like i do briefly have that impulse just like what are you doing just stop

42:46

i mean i guess maybe if you don't know how people are gonna be maybe it makes sense i know that whenever i went over to uh

42:52

my pal dave's house or our pal dave i would knock on the door with both fists and just like really freaked them

42:58

out [Music] oh i think he loved that

43:04

oh i'm sure he did yeah because he was usually sitting right near the door

43:12

oh it's peter okay all right yeah okay also okay i guess you talked

43:17

the point of my story i guess is that i would have punched myself in the face yeah i although

43:23

i had a wonderful mental image of someone just like really frustratingly throwing open their door and just like

43:30

jamming their finger in someone's chest repeatedly going

43:36

back at them yeah or you do like that neck punch like they

43:42

do in training day where like it just like puts someone on their on their back like instantly because they can't

43:47

breathe oh i'm sorry do you have something to

43:53

tell me yeah don't punch people in the throat it's

43:58

real bad no yeah leave that to denzel

44:04

anyway this isn't uh this isn't an action podcast so uh we can't really talk about denzel

44:09

except for the one horror movie he's in and i actually think we will get around to it eventually because i like it

44:15

i don't know do you remember that film just off the top of your head uh

44:20

like fallen something no yeah that's it it's fallen yeah

44:25

we'll probably eventually get to that they kept it simple thankfully yeah

44:31

okay so yeah these the in-laws show up uh linda is at the door first i believe and she

44:38

is related to sarah so linda is sarah's sister so that is max's aunt

44:46

and then everyone else is an in-law of some sort to max at least i don't know who the main

44:52

character is in this i kind of feel like it's the parents but by the second half of the movie it kind of becomes max so i

44:58

don't know i guess that's part of the tone thing i was talking about like i'm not really sure

45:04

who the focus of the film is supposed to be it's kind of the family in general sort of

45:10

yeah so sarah psykes herself up she opens the door she greets them and then linda says she had nothing but crazy talk radio for

45:17

six hours oh god six hours oh jesus

45:24

that's a long drive i mean i think they're in somewhere in ohio so they must live like a state over or maybe two

45:30

states over to have to drive that long yeah linda comes in and then we got howard

45:37

that's david kechner then we got howard jr you know with the slack jawed mouth

45:42

maybe the most annoying looking child i've seen in a film in recent history

45:49

oh god yeah see i a thought came to my mind when i was watching that opening scene with him

45:56

religious scene i don't know what i would do if i had

46:01

a kid that just looked like some annoying little just

46:06

degenerate you know like sorry i'm sure my child is wonderful in

46:14

real life but i don't know if that was my son i would be like oh god i don't know

46:19

yeah later on you do hear david keckner you know howard he says he's trying to build him up to be a lineman so he wants

46:25

him to become a gigantic man you know that can take people out in football

46:30

yeah but right now he's a pudgy little boy with like a loose slack-jawed expression

46:36

just blank-faced and he'll just stare at you and not respond to anything you say to him

46:42

i mean that's it's barely acting but it is really funny

46:49

yeah it reminds me a little bit of those kids at the beginning of home alone you know when joe pesci is trying to talk to them

46:56

hey you guys going on a trip yeah where you going kid

47:03

yeah because yeah that would just that would really frustrate me so anyway yeah so how a junior walks in and then the two

47:11

daughters come in jordan and stevie they're both in war camo and varsity jackets

47:16

one of them is in lacrosse and the other one's in wrestling it looks like and they they both got varsity so i guess they're doing pretty good

47:24

oh and we also have uh rosie the bulldog in an elf outfit i felt really sad for that dog

47:32

it's a cute dog though uh you know i've heard that bulldogs are supposed to have been bred they're supposed to have

47:38

been bred to do something yeah i just when i look at a bulldog i don't feel like they've been bred to do anything

47:44

like they're so small and and weak looking i i don't know i just i feel bad for them

47:50

yeah no i know i mean it's certainly you know it's like the bug situation where it's like it's

47:55

cute but i don't mean stop yeah

48:01

late to walk in the door is sarah's aunt dorothy so that would be max's uh great aunt i believe

48:07

this is conchata farrell she's well see i originally wrote she's super fun in this film and then she says some

48:13

racist stuff later and so i'm just like i don't know if i should say that she can be fun

48:19

but i'm not gonna you know i'm not gonna just put like a blanket praise over her because uh some of what she asserts

48:25

later is a bit questionable she's a nasty misanthrope she's she's a grumpy old lady

48:31

you can tell she spent years never learning how to socialize or i don't know acclimatize to other people

48:38

and their opinions and thoughts and feelings so she kind of just says surface thoughts

48:43

and it's usually a bit aggressive and confrontational i don't think she's all that bad and i

48:48

think there's something interesting about that later on she does start to show some i don't know some regret

48:54

but it's it's way too late in the game you know like she she burned some bridges pretty early on so it's hard to come back from that

49:00

yeah oh yeah one of the first things she says is oh my lord it looks like martha stewart threw up in here

49:07

that's a pretty good line yeah oh yeah and there's one more family member that i forgot about and uh

49:13

speaking of which not just this scene the movie and everyone forgets about this character over and over again it's

49:20

a little baby chrissy who they left in the car linda the mom is just like hey jordan i

49:26

told you to take the baby in or bring it in you know and or bring her in and and jordan's just like it's not my baby so

49:33

it's just it's not entirely linda's fault she did try to delegate her you know to somebody to bring the

49:40

kid in i mean i'm not a dad or at least not that i know of but i assume when a parent is unloading a car

49:47

with lots of passengers you go babies first and then food and dishes you know like

49:52

prepared meals and then older kids presents and luggage probably in that order

49:58

uh yeah why would why would you why would you finish with the baby you know what

50:03

it's so horrible i mean i know it's a joke but it just it really bums me out

50:09

i was just envisioning you know they're all coming out of the car and they're just leaving the baby uh i don't like that

50:16

i don't like it at all but yeah jordan refused so maybe she's the real monster here you know like

50:21

everybody else was on the level linda explains to sarah that aunt

50:26

dorothy basically invited herself into the proceedings like he was going to pick up presents and on dorothy just

50:32

came out with luggage like oh i guess we're coming along too oh great

50:37

oh god and i will say that exploiting the polite forbearance of family is the

50:43

strategy of misanthropes everywhere it reminds me of when al pacino invites

50:50

himself to his brother's thanksgiving dinner in the the movie uh scent of a woman and just capital r ruins that meal for

50:58

everybody [Laughter] uh you know you gotta respect it you

51:05

don't need to see that movie but you should watch that scene it is an incredible ruining a dinner scene he

51:11

just goes way out of his way to just make everybody uncomfortable and i think at the end his brother chokes him or

51:17

something like it gets real out of hand so yeah it's like that everybody except

51:23

this time it's aunt dorothy so then they get to the meal you know

51:28

speaking of meals they have this big fancy meal that sarah prepared and it looks beautiful it's really fancy

51:36

food but brother-in-law howard and aunt dorothy both work very hard to ruin this

51:42

particular christmas dinner howard makes fun of sarah's husband tom for growing up as an eagle scout

51:49

and then he tries to preach the gospel of gun ownership i mean look he was definitely right to

51:55

mock him for growing up as an eagle stack well first off we have a friend that's

52:00

an eagle scout and getting up to that rank is really hard hey hey dave um

52:06

no i know no we're not racist against skeletons we have skull friends no

52:13

yeah did you get it no just poking funny come on token scout friend it's okay let's

52:21

i don't know it's weird i don't know why howard hates tom i think it's kind of a jealousy

52:27

thing but i don't know it does seem like he's been hating him for years so he's just looking for stuff he's just trying to

52:33

pick a fight yeah yeah i do love that scene it was in the trailer where david keckner is like

52:40

eating the whatever it is some some bird i think it's turkey he's just like oh the bird's a bit dry you know and tom's like oh

52:47

mine's good and he's like well mine's a bit dry well you want to switch i do like at least you know most movies

52:53

they don't have the hasty advice thing that would happen in real life but tom actually gives hasty real advice like as

53:00

soon as sarah storms out of the room to make creme brulee for everybody tom is just like can you just say something

53:06

nice could you please she has worked so hard

53:12

it's between howard making fun of tom and then you know making it seem like everyone's a wuss and then linda

53:18

criticizes sarah for preparing food that's too fancy question mark i mean i'm not sure why she's resentful of it

53:24

no that's definitely a that's a thing is it a thing well maybe it's maybe yeah maybe again it's like a jealousy thing

53:30

or maybe it's like the you know think you're showing off or putting on errors or just making stuff that no one would want i'm

53:37

not some combination of those things yeah i uh i read a funny story by a uh

53:44

or an article for my guy it was like the guy like made some like fancy meal

53:49

for his family and they like watched and do it and then they just didn't eat it

53:54

wow and it's like like the guy is like a greedy [ __ ] but like i read that

53:59

story and i'm like man honestly i kind of get it now that's pretty brutal

54:06

yeah and when linda criticizes the food aunt dorothy says like oh who doesn't bake a

54:12

christmas ham what are you a jew um which

54:18

like like what do you even say to that like it blew my mind

54:25

like because i didn't bake at him what would it matter anyway oh god

54:31

you're like where did you even begin with that yeah it's just terrible

54:36

as a side note linda's baby you know chrissy she's throwing sarah's homemade gravlax on the carpet for rosie the

54:43

bulldog i only know that because sarah name drops the gravlax so i actually

54:48

looked it up it's a salmon dish that is covered in salt sugar and dill

54:53

and left to cure for at least 12 hours but possibly days or even like a week or

54:58

two so she took a really long time because she said she made it so

55:04

she took at least 12 hours to make this stuff and then they're just like throwing it on the floor and the bulldogs just

55:10

eating it yeah granted it's a scandinavian meal and they're not scandinavian so you know

55:15

maybe she is showing off and maybe you should throw it on the floor show her for trying to expand your

55:22

horizons so yeah support sarah she retreats to the kitchen to prepare the the creme

55:28

brulees and she does it in individual portions and like this is one of those things that's a minor point but i just love how thoughtful that is it's not a

55:34

big bowl it's all like a bunch of little mini bowls so you get your own you don't have to like

55:40

scoop around and you know and navigate you know yeah i really had it it's it's some kind of

55:47

positive ocd thing with me oh i shouldn't say that you know what i mean like it's a i like how orderly it is

55:53

it's nice yeah she's got the flamethrower thing it's great i love those little those little

56:00

flaming things i feel bad because my stepdad has one of those and he uses it a lot and i don't know what it's called

56:05

i don't either i've liked i like the idea of getting one but i don't know what i would use for

56:11

yeah i mean it's good for making caramelized layers on stuff you know like roasting a bit of sugar

56:16

you could probably make really good s'mores that way like roast it instantly that'd be kind of cool

56:22

but yeah generally you don't really need it it's just kind of neat oh also

56:27

one detail i i don't know this for certain but i guess like a shout out to uh

56:34

maverick flack howie jr for uh just double fisting a

56:40

what looks like a huge amount of mountain dew for a scene that they

56:46

definitely had do multiple takes on yeah he drains like a whole bottle of some

56:51

kind of knockoff mountain dew and then he just belches into beth's face and she goes to leave

56:57

and then sarah has to make a face at her like don't you leave and then she just like sadly sits down

57:04

again it's pretty good yeah i do i mean i don't have as much political disagreement amongst my family but we do

57:11

still have some of that kind of boorishness where like it's gross enough from some of the younger ones that like

57:17

yeah every now and then we just look at each other like oh god that i really really i have

57:23

yeah i have very little tolerance for that i have expected the kid to like throw up

57:29

a little bit because he belches too forcefully you know and like then i would leave the table like all right i'm out i'm out

57:35

yeah yeah no thanks gotta watch out for howard jr he's got acid reflux

57:44

so yeah well sarah's preparing this awesome treat i mean it's a flan dish i don't

57:49

like planned dishes but it's just the fact that she's preparing it it's so thoughtful and nice and aunt dorothy

57:54

trundles in maybe not picking up on the fact that sarah's basically hiding from them and she goes in to

58:01

criticize her food some more she's like oh you know this clogs up my pipes why do you do this and

58:07

sarah just angrily banishes her back to the dining room it's it's amazing she's just like get the hell out of my kitchen

58:13

yeah i will say i just try to get a bolt of lightning

58:18

i thought that was kind of funny because i feel like most other movies would have had that scene where she gets told off

58:26

way later in the movie yes like at the end you're right yeah oh

58:31

yeah and she does have a really good line i almost forgot because you know dorothy she's criticizing everything she's done she's just like why do you

58:37

make this food why why why and then sarah's just like okay fine why don't we go to your trailer next year and you can

58:43

you can serve us meals and it's funny because dorothy doesn't even consider it an option she's just

58:49

like oh wait no okay no no um i'm sorry you know she starts to apologize well okay i don't know what

58:56

she says cause she gets cut off but she yeah she looks like she's right about to express some remorse like she

59:01

just doesn't realize how thoughtless she is but then sarah just cuts her off and she's like just get out of here

59:07

which is interesting to me i like that they don't make her dorothy i mean on dorothy they don't make her

59:13

mindless she's just a little unaware people just haven't really discussed these things with her they've been

59:19

tiptoeing around here for apparently for years i think you could train dorothy to be hospitable but it

59:25

would just take time and nobody wants to do that so you know that's the issue

59:32

back at the dinner table stevie and jordan have managed to steal max's letter to santa out of his pocket

59:38

and then they just proceed to read it out loud to the whole table while everyone's staring at them and does

59:45

nothing to stop them or or or anything like i was so shocked that the adults

59:50

the adults everywhere everywhere on the table would just allow that to happen

59:55

you know what i want to see how this plays out i mean look on a certain level i you

1:00:01

know i get it i mean no okay sometimes i just want to see i would like to know

1:00:07

what's in the letter you know what i mean if i was there i would want to read i wouldn't want that letter read but

1:00:13

you know selfishness but but as an adult as a decent person you can't allow it to be read

1:00:20

you have to stop it i guess you're right yeah listen listen guys we all want to know

1:00:26

what this boy wrote about us but come on yeah

1:00:31

it is it's such a sweet letter that's that's what's so great about it it's like it's supposed to be a hugely

1:00:37

humiliating thing you know for these girls to read a letter that he wrote to santa out loud to everybody but he's

1:00:44

super nice he's just like i wish my parents would fall back in love and i wish that howard

1:00:50

and linda you know had an easier life and you know i wish that howard wouldn't wish that his daughters were

1:00:56

boys and when stevie reads that she gets so

1:01:01

mad she's just like screw you he doesn't want us to be boys

1:01:07

that stevie girl being mad about that dug up an old buried awkward memory from my past i i was hesitant about whether

1:01:14

i'd bring it up on the podcast but i guess oh god yeah hello yeah you have to now

1:01:21

okay well this isn't my awkwardness this is someone else's so i won't name names because it you know they might embarrass

1:01:27

them hey yeah yeah i used to go over to a friend's house a lot in the neighborhood and

1:01:32

that friend's house was the nexus of all of the local drug activity and a lot of

1:01:38

the vandalism and crime and stuff i was the good friend i was the friend that was allowed to stay longer because i was

1:01:45

nice and all i wanted to do was play video games or at least i characterized myself as nice like i don't know i don't know what

1:01:51

they thought of me but you know you know but i was orderly i didn't do anything wrong i was polite you know i left when i was

1:01:57

asked you know that kind of a thing but some of their other friends were really unruly i only

1:02:02

explained that because otherwise it's hard to explain what happens without that context so you know they trust me

1:02:08

that's what i'm getting at over the years they grew to do so and so one of the two brothers

1:02:14

during a drunken party made out with a local girl

1:02:19

and she was just she was actually a very sweet girl i remember she i don't remember her name but she had red hair

1:02:25

and she was an army camo all the time and it was 100 one of those like the dad

1:02:30

wanted a boy and so he just puts all this boyishness on on the girl but she was actually really nice you

1:02:37

know it was just like i don't know you know she was just growing up and she didn't know like what to do with herself yet

1:02:42

and so so they made out and then she went back to his house the next day to find

1:02:48

him she wanted to talk about it or figure something out and he didn't want to talk to her so

1:02:55

my neighbor called me he called me and he's just like

1:03:00

i want you to get this girl out of my house and i'm like what he's like yeah i

1:03:06

i got drunk i made out with her i don't know what to say to her could you please just you know get her to leave

1:03:11

i was just like i don't know i guess you know like he was hiding somewhere basically waiting for her to leave and so i had to go

1:03:18

and i did i went over there and i gave her the it's not you it's me speech on behalf of my friend

1:03:25

it was the saddest moment in my life i felt so bad for her oh god

1:03:32

i was as kind as i could possibly be you know i was but there was no you know there was no

1:03:39

salvaging it it was horrible what a strange story that was yeah god i i don't think i could do that for

1:03:45

someone like i or to someone good gun yeah

1:03:52

yeah i feel bad because i i think i i liked her as well and i think she also liked me so that also

1:03:58

made it even weirder you know that like i had to be nice just

1:04:06

oh man i don't think i ever saw her again i think if i had i might have actually tried to strike up a

1:04:11

relationship or something that's a dangerous thing to say but you know at the time that's how i felt you know

1:04:17

i'm just telling the truth here you know and so you know because of that like i said i was

1:04:22

i was trying to be as kind as possible and i understood how stupid my friend was being and i was i was basically

1:04:28

throwing him under the bus because he deserves it but you know but i had to just be like well listen you know he's you got to go

1:04:34

home you know that kind of a thing i don't think he he meant to do it and then

1:04:39

yeah sad story everybody i totally forgot about it and then this movie dredged

1:04:44

that out of my soul from years and years ago

1:04:49

okay that poor girl peter i okay i will say this the second you

1:04:55

agreed to do that you ended any possibility of coming back

1:05:00

afterwards and saying like hey i know that i basically broke up with you

1:05:06

but like what's up yeah no i know that was probably why she never surfaced

1:05:13

again i think she was just done with everybody and i can't blame her in the least so

1:05:18

yeah yeah that's a bummer i don't you know what

1:05:24

your listeners you know you can tell me like i don't know should i have told that story i guess i guess we'll find

1:05:29

out huh you know that's a weird one i had some

1:05:35

interesting neighbors

1:05:41

back to the story max flips out he tries to get the letter from jordan and stevie he manages to get it

1:05:47

from them but then you know they're separated and you know max does the old you know i hate you i hate christmas

1:05:53

thing and just runs out of the room and it's like right as sarah's coming in with the creme brulee so she doesn't

1:05:58

know what's happening it's just like i hate you i hate everybody which is pretty funny like i feel like

1:06:04

she she probably had just recentered herself she got back into the

1:06:09

like i can go deal with these people thing again and then immediately as soon as she comes out her son is like flipping out and running away

1:06:16

what a rotten night for the angles max goes to his room and is sad his dad

1:06:22

tom checks in for a chat he asks max to try to see the good in everyone the old

1:06:28

i know they suck but it'll only be for a few days dad's speech i know that

1:06:34

at least in theory anyway that dad's speeches tend to be pretty perfunctory they're just sort of like listen

1:06:39

we know this sucks but this sucks for everyone son so could you just just suck it up

1:06:44

just suck it up yeah every everyone uh really loves a like

1:06:51

dad phony phoning it in speech yeah he he tries i mean i don't know they do

1:06:57

try to make tom is like a little flawed but i actually think that tom is the dad i think tom is one of the nicest

1:07:04

characters he he really does mean well he just seems like he's a little distracted i mean they say that he's

1:07:10

constantly working and uh i think that his career has like consumed most of his consciousness to the point where

1:07:17

he's a little surprised by the thoughts and feelings of his family he's like huh yeah

1:07:22

i didn't realize this all of this was going on

1:07:27

so max seems to be calmed by the talk but after his dad leaves he tears up his letter to santa and throws it out the

1:07:33

window his letter flies up into the sky rather than down to earth as one might expect i

1:07:39

mean i feel like that's the indication right off the bat like i don't think this is going to end well for any of us

1:07:46

a big win builds up and knocks out the power all across the neighborhood i don't know i wonder if it's because

1:07:53

there's a value in innocent like virginal people i was gonna say boys it doesn't

1:07:58

have to be boys but what i mean is like you know i know there's that old thing about in rituals you know they say that a more

1:08:05

valuable sacrifice is one that's like a like a virgin or you know pure or untainted or maybe

1:08:12

someone who's like a very strong believer in a faith that you don't have

1:08:17

some of the really old stories are those are real fun we're like hey guys we caught a catholic we gotta roast this

1:08:22

guy immediately pray to your gods it'll give it it'll give us more like potency in our

1:08:28

sacrifice so i wonder if this is like that where because max is a pure and innocent boy

1:08:34

who actually believes in santa claus and his heart and then he doesn't believe like it you know it goes away it becomes

1:08:41

a greater sin against the universe or it's a bigger loss draws the attention of the the dark gods

1:08:48

of commerce you know they have to come take everybody away now you know because just because this one boy lost hope

1:08:55

yeah i mean on imdb on the dvd case in the articles

1:09:01

i read about the new naughty cut the movie is always summarized as max accidentally summoning krampus

1:09:07

i mean is this all his fault or i don't know no or maybe i don't buy

1:09:13

that well i don't know yeah maybe his little ray of hope and innocence was just preventing evil from befalling his

1:09:20

family of mostly rotten people maybe he was the last thing that was just like maybe maybe

1:09:26

krampus would have come years before if not for him that's almost a good message

1:09:32

because then it's not max's fault but i feel like the movie is kind of being like i don't want to say it's your fault

1:09:38

but it's kind of your fault i don't know i feel like it again it's more of that you know do the

1:09:46

right thing or else or else yeah

1:09:51

yeah i mean isn't isn't max entitled to his feelings he's just a kid for god's sakes you know he's allowed to lose hope

1:09:58

now and again people been treating him very badly max wakes up the next morning to see an

1:10:04

enormous snowman out in his yard facing the house it looks like it's like at least eight

1:10:10

feet tall it's got an enormous hat that's like probably two feet all by itself there's no way anybody had that

1:10:17

hat just like sitting somewhere like i'm gonna make a huge snowman and then i'm gonna have like a mad

1:10:23

hatter hat that i'll put on it i've been saving it in the garage

1:10:28

i use it as a sack in the off year it's full of christmas supplies yeah but that's one of those things where i feel

1:10:34

like uh i don't think the writer when they were writing that scene intended for the uh

1:10:40

the snowman to look like that no i mean in a way i like that because to a kid that's what he would look like

1:10:48

and also to an adult even if it was wrong they they would refuse to

1:10:53

acknowledge that something is wrong like that because it's too mundane i mean when he points it out to them

1:10:58

they're just like yeah whatever there's a snowman in the yard if someone told me that i would at least

1:11:03

look you know and be kind of fascinated so like it's a it's a creepy looking snowman i mean like i would be concerned

1:11:09

yeah it looks like it's got a bomb in it or something

1:11:14

yeah you hear about that story where somebody puts a snowman

1:11:19

around a tree trunk or maybe it was a rock i forget but then somebody tried to run down the snowman and just destroyed

1:11:26

their car that was pretty good [Laughter]

1:11:32

that was like some looney tunes stuff yeah i mean wait was it not like wait was it on the street

1:11:37

it was in the yard so they drove onto his yard to to destroy this oh okay yeah then

1:11:42

so it's extraordinary yeah it must have been a very flat place you

1:11:48

know like kansas or something someplace where you could veer off the road really easily yeah i wonder if that's something that's

1:11:56

happened to that person before and they're like all right next time yeah next time this one yeah this one

1:12:03

this one's got your name on it and indeed it did yeah like this snowman in this movie

1:12:09

he's like he's huge in a way that he shouldn't be he's got a gigantic bottom it looks like

1:12:15

a man is hiding inside spoiler alert later he's not there is no man in there so i don't know why he looks like that i

1:12:22

think the the guys at weta those new zealanders they did this movie i don't know if they did all of the visual stuff

1:12:28

but they did a lot of it so i think they're just like i want to make a creepy snowman you'd be like i'm not

1:12:33

sure if that's what it would look like nope that's what we're doing

1:12:39

10 feet tall an enormous hat oh yeah i love this dhl driver that

1:12:46

shows up i forget if they even have dhl anymore i feel like it was one of those services i was fading out but

1:12:51

you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna check i don't wanna you know hurt my reputation by saying something untrue on a podcast everybody let's just look at

1:12:58

that no it still exists okay i must be thinking of another one with a similar name anyway one of those doesn't exist

1:13:04

anymore but anyway yeah this driver shows up with like a gift basket and uh linda and

1:13:10

howard go to the door to accept stuff for the angle family like it's not their

1:13:15

house i don't know why they're doing that but howard's all like real scornful of it he's just like why do rich people

1:13:21

get all the free stuff it must be democrats

1:13:28

and that's not me saying that that's in the movie all right that's the movie doing that yeah so blaine blame michael

1:13:33

dord he doherty he wrote this as well he didn't just direct it i it's a good joke i got i got a laugh

1:13:41

out of it oh no i did too uh you know but you know but still um yeah but

1:13:47

amongst the gift basket is also like a big obvious santa bag full of gifts

1:13:53

and uh the dhl guy is just like i don't i don't know what this is this was here when i got here maybe it was another

1:13:58

service and they just bring it in without looking at it i feel like if they had checked it out they would

1:14:04

have known that there was something weird about it it's all like antique boxes and like weird stuff

1:14:11

piled into like a satin bag nobody's going to be delivering it in a bag like that

1:14:16

they don't really question it at all no i mean i guess like i i

1:14:23

i don't know how much i question free stuff either i guess

1:14:28

i was trying to give him some crap but maybe you're right yeah maybe i would just take it yeah and just not worry about it i mean yeah

1:14:35

it happens so rarely yeah so beth wants to go check on her

1:14:40

boyfriend you know the one that lives four blocks over in the naughty cut a scene is added where aunt dorothy says that she had to

1:14:46

wait two years for her boyfriend while he was out fighting charlie so uh there you go guys that's one of

1:14:54

the glorious upgrades when you get the naughty cut uh

1:14:59

nice little racist vietnam joke a lot of these scenes are just lengthened slightly so you know often

1:15:05

you'll have the same scene but it just goes a little longer and they say like one or two extra lines

1:15:11

sarah doesn't want to let her go and tom does for some reason maybe because he's a bad dad or maybe

1:15:18

because he just wants his daughter to be happy and live free i don't know but it's already blizzardy out there so i

1:15:23

don't know i don't think i would let anyone leave but you know nevertheless they let beth go and she immediately runs into krampus

1:15:31

it's like a block away she just immediately heads outside and he's just out on the roof just wandering

1:15:37

around yeah i think the first shot is also really great

1:15:43

no he looks great i do like his design he's yeah like a huge horned figure with a

1:15:50

hunchback striding around on the rooftops he's got a huge stride

1:15:55

and he has like a mega jump that just goes up several stories whenever he leaps straight up yeah

1:16:01

so beth sees him she runs away she flees to the dhl driver in his van and he's frozen to death like inside of the van

1:16:09

what did that guy do i don't feel like he's involved at all and yet here he is dead

1:16:14

i mean i don't think anyone in that neighborhood really got spared it's not clear everything seems very

1:16:21

abandoned it's not just that the power's out it's that everyone seems to be gone and it seems like maybe krampus and his

1:16:27

crew had gone around and systematically murdered everyone like the night before or over several nights

1:16:33

possibly or all in one night how could he do that uh for the power of christmas magic

1:16:40

yeah really speaking which by the way krampus knock is i believe it's december 5th

1:16:48

it's supposed to be the day before the feast of saint nicholas which is the sixth

1:16:53

so this is three days before christmas just regular old christmas so

1:16:59

it's wrong everybody it's wrong oh something i thought was kind of

1:17:05

interesting about this scene is i feel like in other movies the first person to see

1:17:11

krampus would have been the brother and not the sister yeah and

1:17:16

they wouldn't like it how it would have played out was he'd like go out he'd see him he'd escape and come back and he'd

1:17:23

go like yo guys guys there's like a you know a guy out there and then like the

1:17:28

parents wouldn't believe them yeah that's the normal formula yeah i mean yeah like yeah a lesser movie

1:17:33

movement so you know it's nice to uh i'm not gonna say the movie doesn't like fall into a certain kind of formula but

1:17:40

it uh it does a good job of like switching things up yeah it sets an immediate tone though

1:17:46

which for me was ominous because they already set up that beth is a little annoying but she's actually relatively nice she

1:17:53

clearly cares about her brother she's not a bad person she's just a teenage girl

1:17:59

you know she's just growing up and so having her i don't know if she dies or just gets

1:18:05

kidnapped right away sets a real real dark tone for about how things are

1:18:11

going to go it gives a real um nobody's going to be spared feel right off the bat

1:18:18

it's just like yeah ain't nobody getting out of this so that that's something that's kind of

1:18:23

interesting i assumed that in the uh the naughty cut there would be

1:18:30

like this is that um top down shot where the car is shaking and she's

1:18:36

like screaming as she's getting attacked i assumed that in the naughty cat there would have been some like cgi blood or

1:18:42

something no there isn't any of that unfortunately yeah she hides under the van and it's

1:18:48

it's like the t-rex in jurassic park you know like she's trying to keep keep the krampus from detecting her but

1:18:54

it doesn't work and so he leaves but he leaves a little um a little a jack in the box

1:19:00

and it comes out real slow and it's got like a creepy clown face and i guess it i guess it eats her but i mean as you

1:19:07

find out later in the movie i think they're more like capturing devices like they just swallow you whole so that they

1:19:12

can bring you somewhere or at least i hope that's what's happening maybe they're maybe they are dead inside i don't know

1:19:18

but yeah she gets caught right away which is kind of a bummer yeah

1:19:23

it feels like that scene was like shot with that kind of that kind of like gore in mind which i guess was maybe a

1:19:30

little too uh exploitation for this kind of thing yeah maybe i mean they were going for

1:19:37

pg-13 when they did the original cut and in the new cut they haven't added anything i think they might have added a

1:19:44

little more sound effects but i'm not clear on that i think that they were always a little silly sounding you know

1:19:49

later on there's parts where people get bit it never like

1:19:54

sounds like the wounds you later see like it always sounds way more elaborate and there's way more like ripping and

1:19:59

shredding noises the sound guy yeah took a lot of liberties on those noises

1:20:05

yeah there's like uh we'll you know talk about when we get to it but there's there's one scene where

1:20:10

when i first watched it it was like i was a little unsure what happened to the sister but i'm like oh wow he's just

1:20:16

dead and it's like oh no he's just like he's fine yeah but it was just the noise the noise

1:20:23

they used so it's like super like visceral like crunching noise i'm like oh that guy just got snapped in half

1:20:30

yeah was there something that she said or did that made her deserve that fate

1:20:37

maybe krampus and his minions have very little rhyme or reason to what they do maybe they just kind of take whoever

1:20:44

like once they're once they're in once they're summoned they like they don't care like they don't

1:20:50

make moral judgments they're just like picking off whoever they can find i don't know maybe

1:20:55

but maybe also she [Music] should have stood by her brother

1:21:02

she did want to leave to go smoke pot with her boyfriend but i mean like that's

1:21:07

that's pretty normal i mean if i'm being honest about it a lot of people do that and i don't feel

1:21:12

like they all deserve to die because of it well i mean krampus also probably hates it when

1:21:18

people smoke weed yeah i bet that's like his pet peeve i hate that smell

1:21:25

back at home max discovers the huge snowman is closer to the house now and a second one has appeared

1:21:31

can i just say that i love creepy snowmen stuff i wish more of this movie was about the

1:21:37

ominous movements of snow people i would love just a whole movie of that uh peter

1:21:43

what if i told you that there is a movie that's that this little horror movie called jack

1:21:50

frost oh god see i was hoping you weren't gonna say jack frost because i have seen that and it's terrible

1:21:58

no i want something really almost like a gothic horror you know like you would need to have a really big

1:22:04

lawn or a big area around a house and like very slowly

1:22:10

weird figures would just gather around the house you know and it doesn't make sense i think that'd be really neat

1:22:16

i actually own a silly horror game on steam called frosty nights it came out in 2017.

1:22:23

you play as a little boy who is in his room and he has to stay up all night melting snowmen who are breaking in

1:22:28

with a hair dryer and it's one of those uh what do you call it it's one of those oculus type games where

1:22:34

you can only deal with the stuff that you're facing so you have to turn and melt snowmen in time before they

1:22:40

kill you it's pretty cool oh yeah dragon i need to uh

1:22:46

what's the name of it uh there was a oh there i think i got it it was a uh

1:22:53

horror anthology anime called uh the world yami zukan and one of the

1:22:59

first episodes it's about a kid who uh makes a

1:23:05

friend with a uh an adorable magical snowman who

1:23:10

eventually is revealed to be a terrible abominable smell man monster who

1:23:17

kills his family and i think the kid falls off a cliff to his death or something it's like really wow

1:23:24

that's pretty intense yeah i know it was pretty fun there was also a

1:23:31

i don't know why this made me think of this but there was there's an old stephen king story it was one of his short stories and it was about a car

1:23:38

that's like in a guy's yard and over the years it gets closer and closer to his house it's like a wreck of a car like

1:23:43

embedded in the dirt it's all rusted out and it's still moving over time you know and they couldn't explain it but then

1:23:49

one year it gets too close and the guy dies because the they find the car like crashed into his house

1:23:56

like like it just flung itself in at some point during the night

1:24:02

misremembered the uh the shirt i have in here in front of me the snowman wants to be his friend forever

1:24:08

so he pushes his father off of a cliff but the father doesn't die the father just

1:24:13

is terribly injured and then watches as the snowman eats his son alive in front of him

1:24:19

oh well that's that's actually worse than your original justice yeah

1:24:24

yeah that's a huge bummer holy cow yeah yeah you'll be a part of me forever

1:24:31

now yeah yeah i should've rewatched it but it's like

1:24:37

yeah okay so we have we get a little scene with tom and sarah you know the mom and dad they're sitting together staring out a window worried about their

1:24:44

daughter beth tom's been working so much lately that the marriage has sort of fallen apart

1:24:49

and they have this really sad little humanizing moment you know where they just say that they you know they miss each other

1:24:55

and you know it's a nice it's a nice little thing but it honestly though it doesn't really go anywhere the movie doesn't have time for that

1:25:02

so they just kind of bring it up and then that's it you know you never really you never get any conclusion on any of

1:25:07

that there's just not really time in the midst of a cramp no

1:25:13

yeah i mean i'm i'm glad it's there i appreciate those little touches

1:25:18

yeah and then some of this is a little longer because of the naughty cut so you'll have to tell me if you

1:25:24

recognize what i'm talking about in this next couple of scenes because it's talking stuff that isn't terribly necessary but i think it was lengthened

1:25:31

a bit so in the next room uh omi has been maintaining the fire for the rest of the family she's been keeping it up

1:25:37

nice and hot and then in what i believe to be an added scene aunt dorothy says if she was

1:25:43

a homeless person out in this cold she'd just kill herself she even does the like you know the

1:25:49

finger across the neck thing i yeah i think i feel like you would

1:25:54

have remembered it if you had seen that yeah i don't know like that's also like such a

1:26:00

blinking new miss kind of a thing yeah it's just in between when tom the dad

1:26:06

walks into the room and enlists howard and his mighty truck to go look for beth

1:26:11

because you know how howard is he's one of those gung-ho uh hunting dudes he's got like a

1:26:18

some kind of crazy truck you know he spent probably way too much money on it's probably like a v24 or some kind of

1:26:23

ridiculous [ __ ] yeah i know there's not that many v's i'm

1:26:29

just kidding guys jeez but you know when he when he shows up the whole house vibrates you know it's a

1:26:34

joke but he's driving something that is the equivalent of a humvee but i'm not sure what exactly it is i'm not

1:26:40

i'm not a car guy and they also don't really show the truck very prominently from the outside

1:26:45

no it feels like something you'd see in a jurassic park movie

1:26:51

yes it does look like it could be chasing alongside a dinosaur like if you're looking for samples or something

1:26:58

injen needs to go steal some scales off of the side of a dino or something so you know they're about to

1:27:04

go look for beth and omi just implores everyone to just stay and wait out the storm that is the

1:27:10

advice of the movie by the way that's all they have to do and uh you know spoiler alert nobody

1:27:16

does that so they all bad things happen a lot of bad things happen to everybody

1:27:21

yeah i will say just as like a quick aside man it kind of is wild that there's a new jurassic park coming soon

1:27:27

and i don't think anyone's excited for it it's like whatever yeah they've been

1:27:32

cranking those out haven't they yeah they've been like cranking them out and

1:27:38

they're still the exact same stuff like don't do something you know do that stupid like dinosaur

1:27:45

human hybrid thing that that like concept oh no it was so bad yeah

1:27:51

well yeah okay but it would also be different it would it would freeze

1:27:57

jurassic world more like jurassic purgatory because it's all the same [ __ ]

1:28:02

yeah yeah anyway yeah

1:28:09

omi wants everyone to wait out the storm so why didn't she try to stop beth from leaving earlier i mean she kind of sucks

1:28:15

at being a protective grandmother uh yeah i would have just added a little scene

1:28:21

where omi is just like please don't go please i'm i'm begging you and then you know beth wouldn't listen so all they

1:28:27

have to do is just have her do that she's like she could even just lie and be like oh yeah i won't go and then she just leaves

1:28:35

i kind of like that that'd be that'd be kind of cute just not wanting to lie to her grandma

1:28:41

yeah because that's kind of how we are sometimes with old people i mean let's be honest you know just like like what you want she doesn't know one

1:28:48

hurt her i mean she's crazy anyway and she's talking about krampus and stuff oh wait a minute well no she's not she

1:28:53

should be she's not saying anything for most of the movie yeah sorry

1:28:58

yeah she's like explicitly not talking about krampus for someone who as we find out later was

1:29:05

spared so that she could tell people about krampus she really doesn't like to

1:29:10

talk about krampus i mean to be fair people react to that about as

1:29:18

realistically as i think they would in real life yeah maybe she tried when she was

1:29:23

younger and people kept laughing in her face or embarrassing her that she just got jaded it was just like fine i won't

1:29:28

tell you just let you die whatever she's played weird

1:29:35

she doesn't really try very hard to save anybody and she knows more than anybody what's happening

1:29:42

you know as we you know as we find out later so i don't know what her deal is

1:29:47

maybe she just didn't learn any lessons from any of it she's just like a survivor like i don't know what's going

1:29:52

on she's just all burnt out and doesn't want to think about it i mean she seems pretty knowledgeable

1:30:00

so there is a little added scene i mean this is a scene you already have but there's a scene where tom and howard are

1:30:05

in the truck together they're out looking for beth they add a little bit where tom tries to find any working radio stations on the on the radio

1:30:14

they only manage to find one broadcast that mentions that all of central ohio is engulfed in a blizzard

1:30:20

including the town of warren valley which only matters because that is the fictional town

1:30:26

featured in director michael doherty's other film the halloween anthology as we mentioned

1:30:32

before trick-or-treat so it's like he's tying his little worlds together you know like how stephen king

1:30:37

does with fictional main where like all of his stories happen in the same place

1:30:43

that's cute i like that yeah i mean it failed i guess because it's only in this later edition that it

1:30:49

you know like this was all cut out i wonder if some you know some editor was just like we don't need this

1:30:55

this doesn't add anything yeah so everything happens in haunted ohio i

1:31:02

guess in michael doherty's uh universe so there you go ohioans

1:31:10

yeah you know we uh had our erie indiana and now we have wherever that is in ohio

1:31:18

yeah ossuary ohio because that's where bones go

1:31:26

sure it's the only oh i could think of that was like weird right off the bat yeah

1:31:32

yeah doesn't quite work ominous ohio but that's lame i don't know

1:31:37

yeah

1:31:48

oh no i'm playing some nice guitar you can't hear it but that doesn't matter i'm gonna fade this

1:31:54

out don't worry about it folks welcome back

1:32:00

to the layer of the damned at least i'm calling that okay so

1:32:09

to the pit of despair the devil's anus there we go

1:32:17

okay so uh where were we i think we were just howard and tom they were driving to go

1:32:23

to derek's house that's beth's boyfriend to try to find beth

1:32:28

so they're stopped they're forced to stop when they find a truck in the road well it's a snowplow so they get out of

1:32:35

the car they find that the keys are still in the ignition and presence lay in the passenger side seat i don't know why the

1:32:41

presents are there it seems like sometimes later in the movie presents will be put there as a way of like

1:32:46

mocking people who have died it's like leaving little calling cards

1:32:51

from like krampus and his crew however i think these presents in the snowplow they're just

1:32:57

actually the guy's presence so some nice man was just trying to clear the roads

1:33:02

and something forces its way through the windshield and just kills this guy because they find there's this big hole

1:33:08

in the driver's side door or window or rather and it's all imploded or it's going inward

1:33:15

so that he probably died a real bad death one way or the other and it's kind of a bummer

1:33:21

yeah i mean it's like the whole town died just because this boy lost faith in santa claus

1:33:27

disproportionate response guys i mean i don't know they can't assume that what

1:33:33

if something unrelated yeah it could just be that it just happens for no reason at all

1:33:39

it just shows up i almost feel like if they did you know like the boy's just like i'm so sorry krampus and he's just

1:33:44

like uh who are you i was just here man i do almost feel like if they made a sequel to krampus

1:33:51

which to be clear they shouldn't do but if they did it would be kind of like a funny cynical thing to be like oh no that

1:33:58

other stuff was going on that was not related to the to the main issue here

1:34:05

can i just say i hate it when people do that they make a bad joke of the plot of the thing that made it famous

1:34:12

i've had like games and things do things like that too where they're just like oh that whole thing oh that didn't matter

1:34:17

you know like did you make a little joke about it uh god what offhand

1:34:22

kind of bullying okay well i can think of one see i didn't want to bring up my nerdy you know gaming stuff but uh in the original fallout you're saving

1:34:30

with a water chip that goes that's defective and then later on they're just like oh

1:34:36

that didn't matter at all there was water chips everywhere you're just looking in the wrong place hahaha isn't that funny you went to all that trouble

1:34:42

for nothing i mean i guess that feels very fallout though

1:34:48

yeah i mean that's whatever that's a post-apocalyptic game people

1:34:53

who don't play video games yeah they're still making them so you should know what it is or at least be aware of it yeah

1:34:59

bethesda has has taken that title and it's going to ride that hog all the way to hell

1:35:04

i feel like the cat already did with that that last one but i don't know maybe do

1:35:09

worse yeah yeah but that's neither here nor there for our purposes

1:35:15

sensing that something terrible might be a foot howard pulls out a real sweet looking

1:35:20

pump shotgun from some kind of elaborate fold-out case like in the trunk of his car

1:35:26

his car or truck or whatever it is it's like a mobile combat unit it's got you

1:35:31

know it's it's not just that it's holding weapons it's that it's holding them in specially made form-fitting containers it sinks into

1:35:39

the you know where the gun needs to be like it's been custom made that's amazing commitment to something

1:35:45

you'll probably never need yeah it feels very uh burt gummer from uh tremors

1:35:52

oh that guy see i was about to say bird gummer yeah we haven't gotten there yet but

1:35:58

i would heartily recommend that anybody go see that first movie or you know find that movie just watch it it is a fun

1:36:04

watch you can get anyone to watch it it's great it's action-packed sort of

1:36:10

it's folksy and approachable yeah don't worry about the sequel don't you know don't worry about that just just watch

1:36:15

the first one well i mean i was gonna say one of the great things about that series is that the further it goes on uh

1:36:21

the better the movies get i don't you know i gave up really early

1:36:27

so i don't know but i i have to imagine that that cannot possibly be true

1:36:32

uh no i know there's a point where they where the the creatures are flying around with

1:36:38

with flatulence so so yeah i i can't imagine

1:36:44

that that movie is a winner yeah peter uh would you like to who's to say

1:36:49

i never saw would you like to know the name they use for that form of uh of creature

1:36:54

no jacob fill me in okay uh they call them ass blasters

1:37:01

of course of course yeah real on the nose guys

1:37:09

yeah so anyway watch tremerson time it's good we'll get to it eventually it's one of those movies yeah

1:37:16

if i have a list of like 100 greatest horror movies it'd probably be low on the list but it would be on that list

1:37:22

yeah i would recommend it yeah let's check it out probably cheap oh yeah

1:37:28

kevin bacon all right anyway howard pulls out a shotgun and a bunch of shells and he gives

1:37:35

what looks to be a 357 magnum to tom and tom holds it from the bottom like

1:37:42

dangling down you know like the way you would hold a dirty diaper which i just thought was really funny he's just like

1:37:47

oh gun this is really heavy

1:37:53

i don't have a lot of gun experience and stuff but i feel like i would do a little better than that i would at least hold it like you would a gun you know oh

1:38:00

yeah i would at least pretend yeah i mean like i'm not like oh of course i'm not a gun guy but i definitely like

1:38:08

figured it was worth knowing enough about guns to figure out how to like hold them in a way that won't get someone shot

1:38:14

yeah it actually would have been really funny if you did just hold it normally and then howard has to be like you need to take your finger off of the trigger

1:38:21

when you're just walking around that's real bad you know you don't want to just squeeze it by accident yeah blow off your feet or something

1:38:28

yeah i don't know that it's a 357 magnum it just looks like it's got that classic silvery look it's got the revolver

1:38:35

you know what you call it uh bullet holders oh god

1:38:41

chambers whatever the revolving thing yeah anyway yeah it's it's a cool classic look but it you know i've heard

1:38:47

that they're an impractical gun it kind of got big because of dirty harry but having fired a 44 it does feel like it

1:38:54

wants to try to break your hand when you shoot it so you know it's a little hard to use

1:39:01

okay so then we go back to the house and in probably the longest added scene so i don't think you see any of this on on

1:39:07

your version there's a nice moment where linda and sarah look at sarah's carefully curated christmas tree bobbles

1:39:14

full of family memories apparently sarah saved the angel on the top of the tree

1:39:19

you know linda didn't know where that had gone off to and there's like baby pictures in the tree

1:39:24

and you know linda just compliments her she's like oh man you saved everything and sarah's just like yeah i you know i do my best

1:39:30

and then sarah kind of opens up a bit about how you know she has a lot of anxiety and

1:39:36

because her husband's gone a lot and her kids are growing up she feels really lonely she doesn't use the word i think

1:39:41

she says quiet but you know but she means lonely and she's just like you know what it's really nice to be able to just talk to

1:39:48

you again to have you here for a couple of days and it's a really nice moment i mean it doesn't really add anything

1:39:54

except it it makes you feel bad for these people yeah you know when bad things happen to them later

1:40:00

so there's that what i guess why'd they cut that it feels like that would've been an interesting dad

1:40:05

it was nice yeah maybe just for time yeah it goes on for a couple of minutes it might be the longest ad of the whole

1:40:10

thing it doesn't exactly put asses in the seats when you call the naughty cut

1:40:16

the the nice tree side conversation about family memories cut you know or whatever

1:40:22

also i have to say golden memories i was trying to do a bit of research and

1:40:29

the internet movie firearms database has failed me he has no page on krampus

1:40:37

i was trying to figure out what well now it's just their fault yeah you know yeah i did my due diligence

1:40:44

it looks like a 357 but it could be any number of other similar guns there there i know there's lots to just use

1:40:49

different cartridges and whatever close enough sure

1:40:55

i feel because it's it's uh this is howard we're talking about he's a you know he's a gun nut and he's kind of

1:41:00

ridiculous he would probably go for a 357 just because it was the gun that clint eastwood used

1:41:07

it just seems like something he would do yeah but then they get back to a scene that you do have where the family hears stuff

1:41:14

moving around up in the attic and you know they try to blame it on squirrels

1:41:19

i hate that i can actually relate to this a little bit because i'm i live in a big house with my with my folks and my

1:41:25

nephew we have a big old attic and we do hear stuff thumping around up there that has no business doing that

1:41:32

and it's not clear if it's on top of the roof or it's in our attic and on different occasions it's been

1:41:38

both so you know at one point or another and i so every time i hear something thumping

1:41:44

around it just makes me real unhappy because i really i don't want to go up

1:41:49

in the attic we have kind of a creepy attic it's hard to get into and we've had some bad stuff

1:41:55

it's happened up there i don't know did i ever tell you about that story about the rat we found up there uh no

1:42:01

i do don't believe okay well this is a dreadful story so so brace yourselves everybody this is

1:42:07

this is a bad story okay so all right here we go so okay so we had a

1:42:13

lot of rats well we still do sometimes but we put out a lot of those rat traps and

1:42:19

we got the ones i think they're sometimes called crocodiles they're like big black jaws

1:42:24

and they're supposed to come down and you know break the spine or neck of a rat that's come to eat the food

1:42:30

of whatever is you know whatever bait you put there and so for a while i was living i think

1:42:36

i was downstairs at the time and i kept hearing a thump and i thought it was somebody upstairs

1:42:42

and and it turns out i went up there to complain after about a week of it i'm just like who keeps thumping

1:42:50

and my mom or i forget it's either my mom or my stepdad she's like i thought you were thumping i don't know who's

1:42:55

doing all this stumping and so we all like once we talked to everybody in the house that it could possibly be we realized

1:43:01

that it was nobody and so the only option was that somebody was or something was tapping like one of

1:43:08

the wood timbers and it was you know thumping through the whole house so we figured out

1:43:14

the hard way that it was a rat up in the attic it had triggered the the trap

1:43:21

and it had come down on its head but it hadn't fully killed it

1:43:26

so it was like it it took the whole rat trap and was thumping it against the wall like the

1:43:32

wood she's like boom boom boom and i didn't see it i i think

1:43:38

i think my lucky stars i never saw it i luckily we got my stepdad to go up there i feel a little bad

1:43:44

you know for being a wuss but i really didn't want to see what it was he said that it was

1:43:50

it was kind of brain dead like it was more like a muscle action thing which is way worse yeah that it's just

1:43:57

like you know it was just twitching basically it's like right that's uh

1:44:03

that's horrible so yeah so that's the attic i don't like

1:44:09

going up into i we've had some raccoons up there too so

1:44:15

you know yeah that was that was one for one that one that one haunted me for a long

1:44:20

time i'm not gonna lie yeah that's just the idea of that it's just so

1:44:25

horrible yeah it sounds like something that would be in a stephen king story oh except it

1:44:31

really happened yeah well no if it was the student king story

1:44:36

you would have gone up to see it yeah and it would have like and like the rant would have like tried

1:44:42

to attack you maybe i don't actually know what my dad did to

1:44:48

finish it i don't want to know it's one of those the less i know the better about all of that

1:44:55

i'm more of a poisoner i don't like the mechanical traps i want them to just go quietly die somewhere and just you know

1:45:01

i don't i don't want to ever have to deal with it yeah for exactly that reason it's just so horrible i mean

1:45:08

yeah i guess i mean poisoning is not a great way to go either but i mean they're

1:45:13

they're a lot of great options yeah there aren't any so uh you know happy christmas everybody

1:45:20

you know sweet dreams tonight think about that rat in my attic

1:45:28

and how he persisted for like a week that was the weirdest thing is that he was he was up there like that for so long

1:45:34

yeah oh god anyway okay so you're like let's let's move on like you're bringing down the house like

1:45:40

that girl in gremlins yeah phoebe cates and her wonderful

1:45:45

story i actually i think i bring it up in my notes in here somewhere [Laughter]

1:45:51

i love that story in gremlins it's out of nowhere and it's just it's totally extraneous and yet feels

1:45:58

utterly necessary to the story somehow and i can't tell you why no

1:46:03

if you haven't seen gremlins watch it watch that scene and just try to make heads or tails of it why she just tells

1:46:08

everybody about the time her dad died in the chimney in a santa outfit yeah

1:46:14

and that's how i learned there was no santa claus oh boy phoebe oh boy

1:46:21

okay where the hell were we um let's see oh yeah that's right squirrels in the

1:46:26

attic that's why we brought this up oh jeez i really wish i hadn't remembered that they go back with tom and howard or we

1:46:33

go back with tom and howard and we see them enter the frostbitten home of beth's boyfriend derek

1:46:41

out in the living room they find a chimney all smashed outward like something too big it forced its way through

1:46:46

there are hoof prints on the floor if derek was going to be in this movie

1:46:52

physically this is where he would be but everyone's gone everything's missing and smashed up i wonder if it's miles in

1:46:58

every direction every household is just destroyed i kind of wonder what a post-krampus

1:47:05

ohio would be like because it's not clear at the end of the movie what happens

1:47:10

in certain things i don't want to give it away yet but if enough of this is true it means that

1:47:16

probably thousands you know or maybe even tens of thousands of people died or were brought to krampus hell or wherever

1:47:24

yeah wouldn't that be weird if that's actually what happened they just find like candy canes everywhere

1:47:31

he did it all in one night just like santa claus

1:47:36

they hear beth screaming for help somewhere outside tom rushes out while howard lags behind a bit in the deep

1:47:42

snow something under the snow bites onto howard's leg and starts dragging him around

1:47:48

tom fires a few shots with his gun which scares it away

1:47:53

tom and howard head for howard's truck only to find that it's been totally destroyed something totally totaled it

1:48:01

it's weird that they didn't hear that though like they must have something must have very quietly destroyed his truck yeah

1:48:07

maybe also the family because you know they don't live that far away it's like four blocks away sarah is about to go

1:48:12

look for them when tom and howard rush in i love that howard flips out real early

1:48:18

on he's just like grab all the pots and pans and prepare yourselves and then tom has to be like no listen you have to

1:48:24

pretend like you're an adult for the children so that they don't flip out yeah

1:48:29

you know and you're just like oh yeah right of course all right kind of a nice moment in a way yeah

1:48:36

they do that annoying thing where they shoe the children into another room so that they can like they can tell the truth to one another

1:48:42

and then they'll bring the kids in afterwards once they formulated a pleasant lie to tell their offspring

1:48:48

yeah i got to feel like this would be one of those times when you uh you got a lot of metal i mean

1:48:54

maybe although they also did need to dress howard's wound i forgot see we were mentioning earlier about the

1:49:00

crunchy noises when howard gets grabbed in the snow yeah he gets dragged around

1:49:06

it sounds like his leg is chewed off by the the kinds of sounds you hear just crunches and twists and you know that

1:49:12

kind of stuff yeah and then when you see it it's more like a little shark bite just kind of a bite shape

1:49:18

i don't know why they add so much maybe just to make it more dramatic is that a mark against the sound design

1:49:24

i kind of like the sounds it's just that it's it's a little misleading it's not realistic i suppose uh yeah it's a

1:49:30

little bit i think i mean yeah like i said when he gets like yeah because he gets like buried down down just like armpits and you're

1:49:37

like crunch and i'm like oh you just got snapped in half that's like that that wasn't a chomp

1:49:44

yeah i thought it would be one of those yeah like in um starship troopers or something like when you pull up someone

1:49:50

and it's just like their top half yeah the rest of it's gone oh my god

1:49:57

while in the kitchen aunt dorothy shows the kids how to make peppermint schnapps

1:50:02

and then she lets howard junior drink some oh dorothy you're such a character

1:50:08

yeah don't you rat on me kids i thought that was funny i i'm glad honestly that they just dope up howard

1:50:15

jr because that kid creeps me out i just want him to get drunk and passing just go away kid

1:50:23

i mean look i'm looking could someone sedate him please i mean yeah i'm not i'm not condoning it obviously but man

1:50:31

i don't know sometimes you got to do what you got to do in different situations

1:50:37

that poor kid i mean yeah he's cast perfectly just that kind of slack-jawed look and everything yeah

1:50:43

he's like a mistake of nature you know okay i thought i'd always be a little harsh on him

1:50:50

yeah well yeah so in the living room the adults try to make sense of the damaged largely

1:50:57

abandoned neighborhood sarah wants to go back out to look for beth but howard shows the frost burns on his skin from

1:51:02

just being outside for a few minutes in negative 20 degree weather for those of you who use celsius that

1:51:09

would be negative 29 degrees i mean whatever they're both real bad

1:51:15

i feel like negative 20 in any system is bad uh yeah not ideal i have walked around in

1:51:22

negative 11. when it's really still it's fine but whenever there was a even the slightest

1:51:28

breeze it would cut through anything you had on and you would have to just stop and wait for the breeze to to subside before you

1:51:35

could continue on with your day i distinctly remember that i was walking home from a class

1:51:41

yeah and it was negative 10 or negative 11. and uh everything was was fine you know because when the air is still you

1:51:46

don't really feel it but then there was just just just the slightest breath of a breeze and it felt

1:51:52

like like an ice dagger just like slipped through my coat and just like oh and i just like almost doubled over

1:51:58

i had to just wait for the very low breeze to go away yeah it's weird that way there was a

1:52:05

really bad snowstorm in uh seattle that i got caught in

1:52:11

that was probably the worst that would i think ended up killing people like uh was that the the record one

1:52:17

where like it it started flooding afterwards when it all melted yeah it was like was it they gave it like a

1:52:22

stupid name like snowmageddon or something of course they did yeah

1:52:28

yeah it never gets super cold around around these parts on in the west coast areas it's it's more

1:52:34

mild and kind of mediocre medium degree temperate you know yeah although like when that

1:52:40

happens it means that nobody's prepared for it so yes

1:52:47

that is true and in places that don't expect weather they're the ones that get the worst of it because people just

1:52:52

aren't prepared they have no idea yeah so yeah if it gets real cold like if it got to

1:52:58

be negative 10 around where i live right now you know like in the kind of seattlish area yeah people would be straight up dying

1:53:04

just because they wouldn't understand yeah yeah we had a heat wave i think just this

1:53:11

last year and and that was a bad one we don't have central air conditioning in these parts and

1:53:18

a lot of the houses around here were built with the assumption they're just like oh it'll never be that hot you don't really need it yeah yeah but

1:53:24

that's a stupid assumption i don't care what place you live in you should not be assuming it's never going to be an

1:53:30

uncomfortable temperature yeah that was a miscalculation on their part

1:53:39

so anyway tom decides you know well i don't know they all decide to board up all the doors and windows and just wait

1:53:44

out the storm again this is what omi said earlier it is the right decision and i wish that they would just continue

1:53:51

to do that they changed their mind later but you know at least for now they're doing the right thing

1:53:58

howard apologizes for thinking that tom was a spineless dick

1:54:03

all these years like oh thanks yeah all right

1:54:09

i mean i didn't know you felt that way about me but i'm glad that's no longer the case so uh yeah

1:54:15

howard suggests that they should take turns keeping watch and agrees to go first

1:54:21

then he just immediately falls asleep right off the bat

1:54:26

the kids are playing something on a tablet or laptop i'm not sure what it is but whatever it is the battery dies

1:54:31

because they they fall asleep with it on so that sucks and the fire goes out even though omi

1:54:37

kept telling them like you got to maintain this fire it's a big deal guys so we get a hooked chain that descends

1:54:44

from the chimney from up above with a ginger man a ginger man well a gingerbread man attached it's clearly

1:54:51

bait but unfortunately the only one who wakes up see no i feel bad now see you mentioned

1:54:57

earlier like you know i was being mean to howard jr but here i actually wrote that he is a

1:55:03

little idiotic troglodyte

1:55:09

i don't know why i'm being so mean to this kid but i mean he's falling for an obvious trap i mean it's a chain in the middle of a chimney with a gingerbread

1:55:16

man attached to it yeah you really shouldn't walk up to something like that like ever

1:55:21

it's you know it's it's clearly a trap yeah but he falls for it he you know he

1:55:26

grabs a he grabs it he takes a bite out of its head and i do love that the gingerbread man it's not just that it

1:55:32

comes to life it's that it comes to life and then it's mad that it's head was bitten it's just like what'd you just do

1:55:40

you know if the kid was greedier he might have been okay he could have just bitten off most of his eyes and then the gingerbread man wouldn't be able to see

1:55:47

him yeah oh god that would almost be funnier okay how i might have filmed the scene

1:55:53

was it the gingerbread man comes to life as he's opening his mouth and kid bites down

1:56:00

immediately just goes limp

1:56:05

[Laughter] he was too fast for me he was too hungry

1:56:14

we're going to need to send another junior man who's going to volunteer yeah

1:56:19

no yeah he like bites down kills the gingerbread man then some like a long hands people reach him and grab him

1:56:25

anyway you're like oh whatever yeah okay the gingerbread man comes to life and

1:56:32

wraps him up in the hook chain and uh you know starts dragging him up and people don't wake up from all of

1:56:37

this noise and confusion until he's already like halfway up the chimney which is very annoying to me i don't like how inept everyone is is shown to

1:56:44

be in this when it comes to saving children yeah i mean this is the first time but i'm just going to tell you right now

1:56:50

they do a poor job with all of them every time a child is in danger they do a real poor job yeah of saving that kid

1:56:57

pretty bad track record yeah they do sarah grabs his legs and

1:57:02

howard jr and starts getting dragged up too so then the rest of the adults grab her legs and they kind of hold on like

1:57:09

kind of a ladder style and then somehow someone kicks a smoldering fire log full of embers

1:57:16

under the presence that are present under the tree so the tree immediately goes up and if

1:57:22

you've ever seen those videos fire departments make for just how fast a christmas tree fire can rage out of

1:57:27

control you know this is 100 accurate the whole tree lights up in like two seconds it's like

1:57:35

here's a little safety shout out everybody water those trees keep sockets clear

1:57:41

you don't want heat sources anywhere near any of that stuff only you can prevent having christmas

1:57:46

memories like those of phoebe kate's in kremlin's yeah but also don't listen to them about the

1:57:52

whole deep frying turkey thing it's delicious just do it oh man that is amazing footage

1:58:00

apparently the thing is that you actually have to thaw out the turkey i think it's the temperature yeah but no don't attempt it don't don't think that

1:58:06

you're going to be the one that'll figure it out i don't want your death on my hands folks

1:58:12

it's pretty good man one way or another you know they go to put out the fire and it creates just

1:58:19

enough of a distraction that they let go of howard jr and he just disappears up into the darkness

1:58:24

and then howard you know the father he looks up the chimney after his son

1:58:30

and like an insult a single shoe falls down and smacks him in the face

1:58:35

smacked by his own son's shoe beautiful bombs away

1:58:41

you will notice that i do not bemoan howard junior's fate not to be rude but yeah

1:58:47

i feel better after he's gone i mean you never wanna say this about a dead kid but like

1:58:55

he kind of had it coming sort of i don't know it's hard to say i mean the only things he did let me think

1:59:02

he belched in someone's face and then otherwise he was just kind of slack-jawed

1:59:07

yeah i don't remember if he even said anything else he's like a zombie uh i i really meant more he led some

1:59:13

kind of half-life i i really want more of that he shouldn't have fallen for that

1:59:19

oh well yes he did have it coming yeah i mean yeah that's just like what are you thinking kid

1:59:26

how did you think this would go omi interrupts their sorrow and guilt by

1:59:32

relighting the fire and finally speaking some english so she tells a real

1:59:37

real real sad story about war-torn wherever i guess it must be germany because she's speaking german she seems

1:59:44

to be a german lady right all right but it's some kind of war-torn place and she's in a breadline so i

1:59:49

don't know if this is maybe right after world war ii or something i actually have no idea yeah yeah i

1:59:56

never really thought yeah i don't know maybe she's a german speaker but she's you know maybe in like poland or some

2:00:02

other place that would make more sense but i i don't know i i mean um so anyway she

2:00:07

tells you first oh let me i was gonna say i mean i'm sure that german people weren't doing great for a while

2:00:15

so the man yeah probably not she tells a story about you know how the

2:00:21

people of her town became bitter and lost hope and uh this invited krampus into their lives and it caused

2:00:28

him to come and take things away so i actually have a clip of that moment so i'm going to play that

2:00:34

brace yourselves everybody i will i knew saint nicholas

2:00:40

was not coming this year

2:00:45

instead it was a much darker more ancient spirit

2:00:55

the shadow of saint nicholas it was krampus

2:01:01

[Music] and as he had for thousands of years

2:01:08

came not to reward but to punish not to give

2:01:14

but to take he kills her parents or takes them whatever and he leaves her a fun little

2:01:20

bell and you know i'm not i don't know i guess i'm not really a huge fan of this movie but i really do

2:01:26

want that bell i'd love to have that bell on my shelf yeah

2:01:33

girls from krampus krampus spared her and left her a neat looking bell like i said and

2:01:40

howard thinks the story is crazy and i mean it kind of is so i can't really blame

2:01:45

him yeah but at that point what else could it be

2:01:52

enough weird stuff has happened that yeah you would at least not rule it out i suppose yeah i mean i don't know i

2:01:57

guess that maybe that's a uh i have a low bar for immediately jumping to

2:02:02

uh something supernatural must have done it i guess but i don't know

2:02:10

maybe so however one of your children was just pulled up a chimney by like a weird

2:02:15

chain thing yeah sarah doesn't say anything but she actually did see one of the gingerbread

2:02:20

men alive he dangles down on the chain when she's in the chimney oh so she knows some weird stuff's going

2:02:26

on oh yeah well there you go but howard didn't see that and so he just wants to go storm off and find his

2:02:32

son i don't know why he's storming outside you know because he went up the chimney so he would be

2:02:38

well i guess he might be on the roof i don't know i guess you got to try something i think

2:02:44

i would have checked upstairs first like maybe up in the attic before going outside yeah

2:02:49

or at least i thought so i was trying to think because i so wait if they did just go out on the roof does that mean that

2:02:55

the gingerbread man were just like waiting outside it'd be really cold for cookie men to you know organize an

2:03:01

attack out on the roof i feel like they i had the feeling that they were just up in the attic and they somehow got into

2:03:07

the chimney like maybe they dug a hole or something uh i don't know i mean they're like magic right now i don't

2:03:13

think i don't think they have to worry about getting cold yeah maybe not they do have to worry about getting eaten though well yeah

2:03:20

because they were clearly eatable yeah i guess that's yeah i'll wait for the uh i bet they taste

2:03:26

really good oh yeah definitely the yard is full of snowman and cackling

2:03:32

krampus helpers later on they they identify themselves as elves or other people identify them they don't really

2:03:38

speak yeah so they flee back inside and uh and then they just kind of wait

2:03:43

things out it goes to december 24th christmas eve the storm worsens

2:03:50

and here's another little added scene i think from in the naughty cut max offers stevie and

2:03:56

jordan some of his saved up halloween candy and i just wrote who saves it for this

2:04:01

long i mean like what you've been sitting on your halloween candy for like two months yeah wow maybe he's rationing it for

2:04:07

himself i guess he's trying to make the girls feel better but the big reason they do this

2:04:12

is just because when he opens the box there's a lollipop and it's the lollipop from the character sam

2:04:18

from trick or treat it's like the uh he uses it as a weapon in that movie yeah

2:04:25

you'll note however that sam's has a bite taken out of it so that he can use it as a weapon whereas the one depicted

2:04:31

in this movie is a full lollipop so i guess it's like the same brand of halloween face lollipops

2:04:38

and this one just hasn't been eaten yet yeah it seems like the most notable additions

2:04:44

of the naughty cut involved mostly just tying his films together you know yeah i

2:04:49

wonder if this is just his pet stuff you know like stuff he thinks is interesting i i mean

2:04:54

i guess i can't blame the guy if i was making horror movies i would also attempt to do that

2:05:00

but it is very self-serving so i mean i can't blame editors for being like yeah we don't we don't really need this this

2:05:06

doesn't really add much yeah if i'm going to throw in a reference i

2:05:12

would put it in a vital scene where it has to stay i have it in the background or something

2:05:20

hours pass and the family sits in quiet misery and just waits which again this is what omi told them

2:05:26

to do and so uh if they just kept doing this they would be fine i don't want to you know i don't want to be repetitive

2:05:32

but they'd all still be alive if they had just done that i mean not to spoil things but at least

2:05:38

some of them from here on will die or be captured i don't know it's not

2:05:43

clear what krampus is doing here you know when he grabs these kids i i think they're maybe they're captured to be

2:05:49

taken later or maybe they're dead because sometimes it sounds like they're being digested or

2:05:55

killed or cut up and sometimes they're just kind of being grabbed and i don't know yeah the motives of why krampus is doing

2:06:02

what he's doing are unclear at best so stevie and jordan ask omi like well

2:06:08

okay well what do we do what if we're really good people won't krampus go away and you know nomi's just like it's not

2:06:14

what you do it's what you believe so even being good doesn't help

2:06:20

how depressing is that it's crappy themes like that that made me dislike the narnia films you know

2:06:26

because they were just like oh you don't believe in aslan oh well i mean i know you're a good person but you don't

2:06:32

believe in aslan so um we're gonna have your whole country get attacked and almost die because you don't believe in

2:06:37

him you don't believe in jesus lying yeah i mean not to

2:06:44

get into it too much we they just feel very uh christian so hey

2:06:51

in keeping with the holidays that's very preachy of something it's not necessarily i mean this is almost

2:06:56

pre-christian in a way anyway but yeah it's i don't i just don't like that

2:07:03

that weird unacceptable stance you know where you just have to be an adherent to a very

2:07:08

specific set of beliefs that you might not know anything about i'd probably die in this

2:07:14

scenario just because i'm you know i'm contrary i'd just be like no i don't know i don't know about any of

2:07:19

this i don't believe it i don't care i'm gonna die frankly this whole thing feels kind of messed up like

2:07:26

what you're gonna just kill us all to prove a point well do it then

2:07:32

i'm not playing your games sir linda moves the burnt christmas gifts

2:07:39

into a bedroom i think it's beth's room i mean i guess it doesn't matter which bedroom it is but it's it's one that no one's in

2:07:45

and uh the packages start to come alive you know surprise surprise the mysterious gifts that were left on the

2:07:51

porch were a trap i mean i i get that they weren't thinking about it before but i feel like

2:07:58

there's a lot of things that people just don't think about there's i don't know maybe maybe the movie just needed another rewrite to just give people more

2:08:05

credit to double check stuff and to look into things a little more deeply i i guess just a little bit i just want a movie

2:08:11

where people are doing the right thing it's kind of a played out joke but we're

2:08:17

in the wrong genre for that unfortunately that's true this movie does do one thing i do like

2:08:24

though it goes out of its way to make you understand and even care about characters that

2:08:29

you don't really need to oh yeah i mean even like most of howard's children

2:08:35

i actually like most of them even though they're you know like the you know stevie and jordan are both pretty unpleasant but i can kind of get where

2:08:41

they're coming from and i can relate to that and like the life they've led but it doesn't quite work out in this one

2:08:47

because i don't want to give away the ending yet but you know a lot of build up for nothing really i mean let's put

2:08:53

it that way why did we spend all this time getting to know these people oh yeah

2:08:59

i realize the movie needs to have stuff happen in it but i guess i'd have preferred it if they were forced by

2:09:07

unfortunate circumstances to split up rather than choose to do so of their own volition

2:09:14

and in that vein tom and sarah lay out a plan to try to go help i don't i'm confused by their plan so i think

2:09:20

they're supposed to go to the snow plow and then drive it to the local mall and they just assume that there will be help

2:09:27

there and if not then they'll just keep driving so it just doesn't strike me as a good

2:09:32

plan to begin with and i don't know why they want to do it i think the idea is that because beth is

2:09:38

missing and now howard jr is also missing that they mean to go hurry up

2:09:43

and get help so that they can save the people they've already lost

2:09:49

it's almost like by loving people they're dooming everyone else

2:09:54

so i mean is that the moral of the story that they should have just cut their losses and just like sat there

2:09:59

well they're gone whatever i i don't think they were thinking about it that way

2:10:04

i hope not because they yeah again very bleak yeah those children were unbelievers

2:10:10

like if you were in a willy wonka factory and you know like augustus gloop just went into the chocolate river he's

2:10:16

like whatever he was stupid let's not try to save him although i wait come to think of it that

2:10:22

is kind of how it is in that movie yeah let's just shrug it off yeah whatever

2:10:27

i mean she's a blueberry now whatever go to the juicing room okay

2:10:34

max is looking outside with a pair of binoculars and he spots krampus on a nearby rooftop

2:10:40

so i guess krampus is a bit of a lookie-loo i mean that is kind of his everybody it

2:10:46

adds nothing i i just think it's kind of neat yeah i guess it is kind of his thing he is a lucky lift

2:10:52

he more than santa really wants to know your business and what you believe and how you believe yeah

2:10:59

i mean honestly it really makes you appreciate santa yeah although

2:11:05

it also hurts santa because at least in austrian traditions it seems like these two guys kind of work

2:11:10

together so i just feel like there's some kind of real weird relationship going on here like they're two halves of a coin or

2:11:16

something i never got that impression i don't know that's always that like well i don't know that thing where

2:11:22

there's like the good spiritual entity and then there's the bad ones like well why don't

2:11:27

wasn't the good one just do something about the bad one well i mean i guess if you're

2:11:33

acknowledging that you know there's good and bad parts of everybody you kind of have to have them as two essential parts

2:11:39

of nature you know the yin and the yang the good and the bad but i don't know if that's exactly what

2:11:45

they're going for it just seems i don't know i wonder if krampus and santa have weird

2:11:51

conversations like don't you want to let those kids go krampus no

2:11:57

they were bad and you know it i feel like you led you go hang out with your your keebler elves

2:12:04

i feel like you could do something with that a very weird movie yeah

2:12:10

okay so i don't know if this is an added scene or not i almost hope it is because it's unpleasant that i don't want him to

2:12:15

bring it up but there's a part where either stevie or jordan i think it's jordan says that the downstairs toilet

2:12:23

is all clogged from aunt dorothy she clogs the toilet she didn't fix it

2:12:28

and so they have to go to the upstairs bathroom just to be able to use a bathroom and

2:12:33

jordan is scared and so she wants stevie to go with her i've seen enough horror movies to know

2:12:39

that this is just a thin excuse to force people to separate so that they can get themselves in trouble and then get

2:12:46

captured and then even more people have to go endanger themselves to try to stop it yeah todd i don't so aunt dorothy

2:12:53

just killed everybody with her with her poop and ways god i can't remember going on i can't remember that

2:13:00

dialogue but i also can't remember why they went upstairs so i like it might be that they took it out and

2:13:05

just went up there without any explanation in the theatrical cut and i could be wrong about that i've only

2:13:11

recently now watched the naughty cut so oh you know what i actually like i have

2:13:16

i clicked to the exact moment of dialogue so yeah no it's that's in there

2:13:21

oh god i wish it wasn't like i don't want it to be dorothy's fault it's such a terrible

2:13:27

aspect of it you know like why everyone's in trouble because you you couldn't use a plunger

2:13:34

you suck aunt dorothy i mean hey she redeemed no not i mean she like tries

2:13:41

her best later on yeah she does she does okay which we'll get to we're coming up on that

2:13:47

so uh yeah the two sisters are they're about to head into the bathroom in the the hall on the second floor and they

2:13:53

hear well i was going to say they hear beth's voice but they don't they hear an approximation of beth's voice it's not a

2:13:59

very perfect imitation it sounds like mechanical like an

2:14:05

obvious trap and i hate it because it's a disconnected voice and stevie and jordan are just hey everybody's been looking

2:14:11

for you why didn't you come down and and and beth's voice yeah you know quote unquote it's just like no no you need to

2:14:18

come up here i've been waiting for you it's such an obvious creepy thing to say

2:14:24

and they only go up there because apparently they're written to be idiots and i i kind of hate that i actually

2:14:30

rewrote the scene for myself for everyone's benefit because of how much i don't like this scene you know where they just go up there and get in

2:14:36

trouble because imagine this instead imagine that they go up there you know and they

2:14:41

hear this voice they're like hey you should come up and you know whatever and then stevie and jordan are just like no

2:14:47

um you can come down here i mean it's actually a really big deal you need to come down right now and the

2:14:53

voice is just like no and you know and then they get creeped out when they realize it's not her and they go downstairs and they tell

2:14:59

everybody and then sarah you know beth's mom hearing that beth's voice is upstairs

2:15:05

like even if it's even if the possibility that it really is beth is al is almost zero you know

2:15:11

that a mom is gonna go up there and be absolutely sure so she would insist on going back and going up there and then

2:15:17

they could just get in trouble and you don't have to insult anyone's intelligence for having done so why like why why why do they have to be dumb and

2:15:24

just go up there and get caught yeah i see your man i mean it's it's kind of a minor point

2:15:30

it's just that i like to give everyone credit even characters you're not supposed to necessarily like i don't dislike the girls i mean they

2:15:37

are mean and stuff but whatever i mean i feel like most of these people are kind of just normal i mean we have people

2:15:42

like this either in our lives or at least we're aware of them yeah they're out in the world i don't feel like we

2:15:48

need to show them being murdered to give me some kind of a catharsis or something

2:15:54

like you know i'd rather they just be depicted as people and do a good job

2:16:00

i don't call me an optimist i can agree with so anyway they go up there

2:16:07

and you know they get caught by uh by a jack in the box but we don't know that immediately but you know we hear a

2:16:13

ruckus downstairs or upstairs and while the parents are going up there to check it out

2:16:19

max says to omi oh yeah wait i have the line so i'm going to play it it's a it's a it's a

2:16:24

short line but it's funny all right so here we go

2:16:30

i think all this might be my fault yeah kid it is it's all your fault

2:16:37

oh you think you lost the joy of christmas in your heart max

2:16:44

mr engels i mean again i feel like the movie is just sort of like you know what it's this is your fault kid

2:16:51

you just cost all these people their lives because you couldn't send a letter to santa claus

2:16:56

i don't know i like i'm not going to say the movie doesn't have like a cynical attitude but i don't think

2:17:03

it's intended to be as like mean-spirited as as here uh

2:17:09

yes i am it's possible that i'm i you know that i am interpreting it poorly

2:17:16

we'll get to that when we get to that because we're not to the end yet but yeah so at the same time that all the i

2:17:22

think linda sarah and tom go upstairs and then howard he's injured still i mean he's injured for the rest of the

2:17:28

movie he hears something going on in the kitchen so he goes to investigate that all by himself you know that old trope

2:17:34

yeah i'm gonna go investigate a noise although in his defense he does try to

2:17:40

get the bulldog rosie to follow him along and the dog refuses that dog knows

2:17:46

she knows what's up like i ain't going in there upstairs linda finds all the gift boxes

2:17:51

open from the inside out there's a box for a jack-in-the-box like the one that beth

2:17:57

was captured by and there's an opened tin of gingerbread cookie men

2:18:03

they find a huge bloated jack-in-the-box like around a corner just just finishing swallowing

2:18:10

jordan i thought at first that it swallowed both because it's enormous but i guess it only swallowed one of the

2:18:15

girls and it's just like tucking her shoes into its mouth when they find it

2:18:21

and i know it's horrifying what's what they're seeing it's got a detachable jaw it's all gooey and gross it's something

2:18:26

you're not expecting to see but there are so many scenes with people

2:18:32

standing near this thing and they keep on not grabbing it and

2:18:37

they keep on not getting the girl out of it and it just it just drives me crazy

2:18:44

although i have to admit that yeah i just can't stand it yeah that's sort of like resigned like you

2:18:50

got to be kidding me it's like yeah i guess that's about how i'd feel

2:18:56

if i actually saw a monster i may be horrifying but good gun

2:19:01

really yeah tom shoots at it after it finishes

2:19:06

swallowing the girl and it just kind of escapes question mark it kind of just slithers out of sight and they just

2:19:13

forget about it for a while which again yeah like it's real it's real annoying to me because it's a big cumbersome

2:19:19

thing and it's hard to move itself like it's really hard to drag its body around

2:19:25

yeah i hate thinking about it so you know i'm just gonna try to like go through this part quickly

2:19:32

howard at least does better he's down in the kitchen and he uh he gets shot by three ginger

2:19:37

men holding gingerman i keep saying that three gingerbread men uh

2:19:43

holding a nail gun i mean we assume they're bread but who knows yeah it

2:19:48

could be redheads oh i have to say though i love these gingerbread men the the way they look

2:19:55

and the way they sound and the way they act is all great i wish there had been so much more of them in

2:20:00

the movie they're so much fun to watch i mean i feel that way about like all of the creatures in this movie

2:20:07

yeah some are like more than others yeah i mean like not just the signs but like yeah like full you know gingerbread men

2:20:14

they have a personality to him yeah i was going to bring it up later but i

2:20:20

mean i kind of wish there was just more of this stuff being showcased earlier in the film i like a good character

2:20:26

development but i wouldn't have minded some kind of um like a cold open showing

2:20:31

something weird happening with them or you could have shown like what was happening to one of these families that

2:20:37

are all just gone so you could show like the tail end of another battle in another house you know with people

2:20:42

getting captured by gingerbread men just to add a little bit of action and show that stuff's happening

2:20:49

there's a lot of waiting in the movie which i kind of dislike i mean i guess it'd be hard to do that though just like timeline wise movie

2:20:57

yeah maybe i don't know i don't mind the way it plays out there's the uncomfortable family stuff

2:21:03

at the beginning but it's like it's like 20 minutes and then the movie gets into the supernatural stuff

2:21:09

i appreciate that it kind of goes like all right we set this up now let's get going

2:21:14

once it starts it really it really goes it really shifts gear and the whole tone changes

2:21:21

okay so howard manages to shoot the lamp next to the gingerbread men and uh sets them all on fire it's pretty awesome

2:21:27

actually yeah also more personality from little gingerbread monsters they're uh

2:21:32

but the way they just kind of like scream and ride around it's just funny yeah

2:21:37

i like that they value their own lives yeah oh god no

2:21:46

so upstairs sarah is attacked by some kind of an evil angel puppet i don't

2:21:51

know what it is actually some kind of angel monster thing yeah i didn't know if you had a better

2:21:57

name for it yeah it looks a little like one of those angels you put on top of a christmas tree

2:22:03

sort of i don't know i mean whatever it is and then uh yeah it's a creepy thing whatever it is

2:22:09

yeah linda is mauled by a rabid teddy bear monster and then tom is attacked by some kind of

2:22:16

an evil toy robot it's just like all these things just emerge at the same time and attack them just to keep them

2:22:22

all distracted yeah you know and it almost works because they're also fixated on their own thing that they're

2:22:27

all distracted and it lets the uh what do you call it that jack-in-the-box

2:22:32

monster start to just clumsily fumble its way towards an air vent and it keeps showing it again and

2:22:38

again i wish it didn't show us because it keeps it gives you this anticipation like oh man they gotta save that kid

2:22:45

there's a ticking clock you know i'm just gonna tell you right now that doesn't go anywhere they don't save that kid so i don't know why they kept

2:22:51

showing us i mean it just frustrates me like i don't want to be reminded of their

2:22:57

incompetence you know you know what i mean like like just all right if it's gonna go then just go i don't know like

2:23:03

i'm not going to say raises the stakes but it just i i don't mind the tip it does give steaks i suppose

2:23:11

the last two flaming gingerbread men that are left charge howard he pastes

2:23:16

one with the shotgun but misses the the last one it leaps at him with a sharpened candy cane

2:23:23

and then uh you know david keck you know howard he like he closes his eyes he thinks he's gonna just die i guess i

2:23:28

mean he sort of gives up but luckily rosie comes in at the last second and and eats him out of the air

2:23:34

so you know good girl i guess yeah he's a good doggie i don't know if he was like expecting to die but i feel

2:23:40

like if something's like leaking at my face i'm gonna stab it open i purple flinch

2:23:46

i suppose the angel puppet gets some kind of christmas tree lights from out of the

2:23:51

box and starts hanging sarah up by her neck up on a rafter

2:23:57

so linda sees one of her daughters unconscious on the ground i think it's

2:24:02

stevie so she grabs an icicle because everything's frozen wherever these bad monsters are so so she grabs an icicle

2:24:08

stabs the bear she's fighting in the eye and then throws it down the stairs and

2:24:14

it makes a little wilhelm scream which always makes me happy

2:24:20

linda cuts sarah down with an axe and then bashes the robot off of tom's

2:24:25

back so basically she saves everybody she has like a mother moment and it's great

2:24:31

although she's not quite able to stop the jack in the box like she's right about to swing at it and it gets away

2:24:36

and it once again just frustrates me because i just feel like they should have saved the daughter

2:24:41

from the jack-in-the-box and then just have her get captured a different way later i just don't know why they

2:24:46

they draw that one out there's a lot of ways they could get grabbed again i guess i don't know

2:24:53

i wouldn't say involved well it bothered me jacob no i know

2:25:00

linda finds stevie wrapped up on the floor i guess she was gonna be eaten next

2:25:05

they all go downstairs howard is back from his adventure in the kitchen so they all kind of regroup

2:25:11

they hear the jack in the box struggling to leave the house like it's not even good at being a monster you know like

2:25:16

it's having a real hard time going through the air vents so max releases rosie into the air vents

2:25:22

after it and rosie actually manages to get the thing to come crashing out of the ceiling right in front of them i mean

2:25:28

okay this is the one that bothers me the most because it's literally laying there like semi-conscious in front of them yeah and

2:25:35

they still manage to not save their daughter i i have to admit uh during that part of

2:25:40

the scene when i first watched it i thought we were going to get a sweet the family teaming up and tearing that

2:25:47

thing apart soon which would have been a fun bit of family togetherness they're all

2:25:54

working together a moment of bonding in violence

2:26:01

so howard goes to shoot it and the angel puppet emerges from the hole in the ceiling and attacks him so he gets distracted and then the injured teddy

2:26:08

bear the teddy bear monster climbs up on the back of the sofa and is about to attack

2:26:13

omi when aunt dorothy takes up the shotgun and pastes the bear's puppet brains all over the far wall

2:26:20

i don't know if i feel like they might have lengthened that shot of the of the bear like getting destroyed in the

2:26:25

naughty cut but i'm not positive i need to do a side-by-side competition i can see that like i guess i wouldn't be surprised

2:26:33

it seems like you get a pretty good shot of the inside of the bear's head in the cut i have so i don't know if they change that for the regular or not it's

2:26:39

real brief uh theatrical one okay they throw the angel free and then

2:26:45

dorothy kills that thing too actually i really love that kill because she shoots it out of the air you know like it's a

2:26:51

like a clay pigeon and then the angel flies into the wreath over the fireplace

2:26:56

and it looks like it's there on purpose like it's part of the display a little dead angel monster it's a nice touch

2:27:03

yeah oh yeah and then tom rather dramatically says

2:27:08

aunt dorothy finish it and she's like with pleasure and you feel like again yeah you feel like the movie's about to

2:27:14

become positive maybe things will be okay but hey a bunch of elves burst in

2:27:20

through a boarded up window they just intervene at this random moment maybe they sense

2:27:26

that things are about to turn and you know they're about to succeed they boarded up the window and and the

2:27:32

fireplace still has a fire going even when they get in they have to go kick out the fire because i guess they don't

2:27:37

like open flame or something i know there's a lot of old fairy tale myths about bad things getting into your

2:27:43

house if you don't keep the embers burning so it's probably tied up with that somehow you know sure

2:27:50

but whatever it is it robs them of saving jordan which is yeah as i said before very

2:27:56

frustrating to me so a bunch of masked elf hooligans run

2:28:02

in and douse the fire they hold everyone at bay with ancient jagged weapons the elves grab chrissy the baby everyone

2:28:09

left unattended and they actually show multiple shots of this baby crying by itself and like nobody helping it or

2:28:14

picking it up it really bothers me i mean i know they're busy and i think

2:28:20

last person to hold it was i shouldn't say it hold her is aunt dorothy but you

2:28:26

know but she got busy with the shotgun so i guess she just forgot about the baby it you know it happens

2:28:33

i guess so the elves chain up aunt dorothy and drag her away but not before she says

2:28:39

see you in hell which is pretty sweet aunt dorothy was a hardcore thug until

2:28:45

the end ghostface killah would be proud jesus christ peter

2:28:55

the elves also chain up the jack-in-the-box to drag it out the window and howard in a fit of

2:29:00

frustration that i can relate to he leaps on the thing to try to save his daughter and gets dragged away too so he

2:29:06

just kind of i guess he sort of dies needlessly but it's a pretty brave thing to do so i'll

2:29:11

give him credit for that i actually think it was a cool way to go he did his best i feel like the rest of them didn't but

2:29:17

he tried at least when he wasn't being you know a sumbitch at the dinner table

2:29:25

so the elves have the rest of them surrounded and pinned to the wall it's one of those moments where the characters who remain they seem finished

2:29:32

but then you hear in the distance the call of krampus is approach and they're like frightened away

2:29:39

you know it's one of those kinds of things you know like when like a tribe surrounds you but then like the chief

2:29:44

shows up or or like a monster they're afraid of you know or a lion or whatever

2:29:50

so it's that kind of a thing out of the frying pan into the fire omi desperately tries to re-light the fire but the

2:29:56

matches keep blowing out tom announces they're all leaving to go get help

2:30:01

i don't know why he does this i don't know why they all agree i don't know why omi doesn't try to stop

2:30:07

them yeah yeah i don't know you just kind of suck omi

2:30:12

you know what's what the score is you know that they can't go out bad things will happen but you're

2:30:17

really not pushing to save them yeah so the lights are flickering on and off

2:30:23

again i guess somehow krampus is able to play with the electricity in the house

2:30:29

puff beats on the roof mark the arrival of the shadow of saint nicholas the anti-clause

2:30:35

krampus i wish i had a musical sting right there

2:30:44

imagine jingle bells but sinister actually that would be really funny like there was that old episode of the

2:30:50

simpsons where it was i think it was a valentine's day episode and they kept trying to play music and it kept being the monster mash and after a while like

2:30:57

the the radio host gets really mad yeah that's it i can't work under these conditions what a great song

2:31:05

yeah i wanted to play during the halloween episode but you know you got to buy the rights and uh you know yeah i

2:31:10

ain't got that kind of yeah i bought their album and apparently the guy wrote more than one song which is

2:31:16

just astonishing to me yeah honestly you write just the monster mash like your career is kind of dumb

2:31:22

that's all you need he also wrote the monster motion which was like a sequel song and it's almost

2:31:28

exactly the same oh yeah yeah so it's like that kind of stuff he's just kind of cashing in

2:31:34

on the hype sure and you know what i can't really blame him for that i mean that's like his one thing so you know what you have your one album yeah and

2:31:41

then you retire on the proceeds yeah i mean it's fun song the

2:31:47

idea of doing the monster match is inherently kind of funny

2:31:54

yeah i mean i mean like you know you can just say and then they do the monster mash and it's like yeah okay that's uh

2:32:03

in my mind's eye i tend to imagine it's like a like a cabbage patch kind of a dance i can see it

2:32:12

so anyway yeah the family heads out over the threshold you know they're gonna go save

2:32:17

somebody i don't know all these kids are missing now they were all captured at different points

2:32:23

i'm not sure who they mean to save at this point i guess they just want to escape just to pick up the pieces in

2:32:28

some other location but omi's not coming along she locks the door behind them and just you know locks

2:32:34

them out and says no you know you guys go on without me i'm gonna you know i'm gonna face off against krampus and i do like

2:32:40

at least that somebody who was writing or rewriting the script had the sense to bring up that there's a huge hole in the

2:32:46

window where the elves got in so max actually says that or or maybe

2:32:52

tom says that somebody says it it's just like out of the window and then you know then the other person is just like no

2:32:58

she actually wants us to go like she's trying to help us and they just agree with that i mean i

2:33:03

don't know why they would why is she in danger doesn't she believe in krampus and santa claus more than

2:33:10

maybe anyone on earth wouldn't she be like immune well i mean

2:33:15

she did uh kind of let a lot of this stuff happen

2:33:20

and also she's a really bad proponent of krampus that's what i'm saying if that was her job as a survivor she really

2:33:28

didn't spread it around she's like embarrassed about it and she really doesn't help and she really doesn't

2:33:34

spread the word you know or instill the the magic of christmas in people's hearts i mean i guess in her small way she did because

2:33:40

she would do all the baking and be nice to people handed out the hot chocolates

2:33:46

but yeah i don't know i just yeah she just really sucks at being like the the protective grandmother she's

2:33:52

supposed to be in either case you know whether or not she believes or

2:33:58

or maybe you know max is being just punished for his lack of belief and everyone around him is just collateral

2:34:04

from that like collateral damage either way krampus comes down the chimney and makes

2:34:09

a dramatic entrance he looks great when you finally get a good look oh yeah he's giant he's hunchbacked he's got

2:34:16

huge ram horns coming out of his head you've got a santa-ish face although people have complained that he

2:34:23

looks mask-like and it turns out that the director says that that was on purpose that he's literally wearing a

2:34:29

santa mask of some sort because he looks really bad underneath yeah

2:34:34

i mean i heard in the story is that krampus is supposed to be half demon and half goat

2:34:40

so he probably looks pretty bad under there so i wonder if he i think he's just wearing the santa mask as sort of a

2:34:46

like a mockery because he knows he's the anti-claws the uh the shadow of the claws yeah i kind

2:34:52

of like that he's having fun with it yeah he's got a long beard long tongue long

2:34:59

talons chains and bells everywhere and the the famous humps

2:35:04

and you know he just smells when you're watching this scene oh yeah he probably smells really bad i

2:35:12

would think he smells like tar i don't know why but i just imagine that yeah i can see that

2:35:17

when you're watching this scene for the first time you might think to yourself as i did

2:35:23

well krampus knows this lady believes she's made her sacrifices i mean she's literally sacrificing herself right now

2:35:30

on behalf of her children and her children's children she tries to teach others to do the same

2:35:35

she's cool he'll let her go but no he doesn't let her go he opens a bag of

2:35:41

toys that swarm all over her and yeah i mean yeah she's she's dead or gone i'm not sure which there's just no

2:35:48

mercy for anyone for literally anyone in this movie brutal film just brutal

2:35:57

i'm sorry if you're gonna be brutal in your movie you definitely can't spare the grandma

2:36:02

i guess not for those of you keeping count out there that leaves us with tom and sarah

2:36:09

max linda and stevie so that's five people left

2:36:16

they've come across the snow plow that had the keys still inside but it's clear from the coming noise that krampus

2:36:21

minions will soon be overtaking them so in another noble sacrifice sure to be

2:36:26

unrewarded tom begs his family to get into the plow while he tries to slow the monsters down

2:36:32

with a shotgun tom tries his best but he's not a great shot with that shotgun he buys them maybe 30 seconds at

2:36:40

best by stopping to get surrounded and eaten by those things under the snow i feel like he should have just gone with

2:36:46

them uh yeah couldn't have hurt he gets pulled under

2:36:51

and that's the end of him rest in peace tom you were a nice guy

2:36:56

a goodish dad and literally did nothing to deserve any of this

2:37:03

if only your son could have kept his faith in santa or whatever

2:37:08

yeah it really was his fault and then we get a really weird rendition

2:37:13

of silent night that plays in the background while they load up the plow i think it's like to indicate that some

2:37:19

real sad stuff's about to happen because then linda she's like last in line you know helping people get into the plow

2:37:26

she gets pulled down into the snow by whatever's under there i don't know if they specify which thing it is that's

2:37:31

grabbing them under the snow i think it's elves but i don't actually know that yeah i'm not sure

2:37:37

sarah max's mom pauses to look at linda which is apparently also long enough to be

2:37:42

grabbed as well so she gets just long enough to look at max and say i love you before she is also pulled down into the

2:37:49

snow like a graboid would pull down someone into the sands

2:37:54

in tremors check that movie out everybody

2:38:00

so yeah good one adults you're all dead now so now there's no parents left and nobody to drive the snow plow yeah way

2:38:06

to die idiots way to die

2:38:11

the body count really escalates out of control at the end here doesn't it uh yeah now we're down to just max and stevie

2:38:18

cold and alone in an abandoned snowplow with a busted in windshield so it's not

2:38:24

even like a complete windshield and it's already shown signs of krampus minions getting in there you know and just not

2:38:31

worrying about the glass at all there is no protection from having this glass between you and them

2:38:38

so max tries to start the engine but this is a horror film so we must abide by the rule that it will take six or

2:38:45

seven attempts before the engine finally rolls over or at least that's what i wrote but i

2:38:50

don't think he ever gets it going so it might just be that the card just can't turn on and it just has bad luck

2:38:57

they uh i know that certain cars when it gets too cold certain cars won't ignite

2:39:03

so it could be that but i don't know if that's what's going on or not i mean they do uh

2:39:09

kind of imply early on the movie that there weren't any cars out on the street maybe

2:39:15

they just didn't work at that point could be so those um those crummy masked elves

2:39:22

their back i think they sense that these kids are low hanging fruit they're like oh we can just walk up and grab them

2:39:28

so they just surround the plow and reach in for them max finds a tire iron and he beats back

2:39:33

his attacker he does okay but stevie is not so lucky she gets grabbed and pulled out of the

2:39:39

car which is a little shameful i don't remember if she's the lacrosse girl or the wrestling girl but whichever it is

2:39:44

she's still some kind of an athlete i feel like she should have done a little better i mean they're elves

2:39:50

i guess you could say maybe they're supernaturally strong but actually i i was thinking it's the other way around i think they're probably really weak and

2:39:56

it's more that they're just kind of a horde i guess so i don't know i know that there are

2:40:02

certain krampus type ceremonies where a lot of masked hoodlums will go to various houses and kind of like demand

2:40:08

offerings if not then they'll do like mischievous tricks you know it's sort of the precursor to things like halloween

2:40:17

giving monsters their due give us offerings give us some figgy pudding

2:40:24

mandarin right now i tend to believe that song is about people just heckling for food they're

2:40:31

just demanding figgy pudding wishing them a merry christmas yeah

2:40:37

so stevie gets grabbed by the elves and pulled down into the snow i feel like for the shot they use salt

2:40:43

because it makes it's got kind of a quick sandy look when she gets pulled down into the white snow

2:40:49

not that that matters i just think that's interesting yeah max does the stupidest thing in the

2:40:54

world he gets out of the snowplow to go save stevie but why didn't he go try to save his mom

2:41:00

or linda or anybody like why why why stevie why why what are you doing here kid you're an idiot

2:41:06

like why now well i mean that's the person you really care about yeah

2:41:11

stevie no i had a quiet crush on my cousin

2:41:16

like let's throw that wrinkle in at the last thing that's not in the movie folks we're just kidding

2:41:22

i guess we don't know we don't know what was in max's heart maybe that's why krampus showed up

2:41:27

you felt the wrong way about your cousin though that would be such a funny turn

2:41:34

just like yeah all right we got a bit we got like you know 10 15 minutes left of

2:41:39

the movie let's just pull that yeah let's just pull that out of nowhere

2:41:44

i mean everyone literally just died so that max could live and then he just throws it away he just walks outside

2:41:52

lucky for him the the snow monsters have stopped and and krampus comes over to him

2:41:57

personally like just shows up and and drops a krampus bell with his torn up santa letter wrapped

2:42:04

around it just to you know really stick in the dagger you know just just embarrass him

2:42:09

for his losing hope this is why all your friends and family are dead

2:42:15

you should have sent that letter and so you know after that he just leaves i mean he's just like yeah this

2:42:20

is why it happened [ __ ] now i'm leaving that krampus ever says anything

2:42:27

that'd be funny though if you did yeah so but yes he spares max i guess to instill fear and belief into the hearts

2:42:34

of a new generation of children i suspect that if max had gone along with that he would have been a much better

2:42:39

proponent of krampus he probably would have actually taught people about it and stuff he seems altruistic in that way

2:42:47

in a way that maybe his grandma wasn't i mean i don't think she was like being

2:42:52

nefarious about it no i don't know i i don't i'm honestly mystified by her character i'm not sure

2:42:58

what was going on with her i feel like we just don't know enough but you know regardless max isn't having

2:43:04

any of that he finds the krampus procession they're all like loading up like roadies going on to like a road

2:43:10

trip or something with all of their victims and captured people they're gonna trundle them off to hell

2:43:17

or wherever but max renounces his wish and he throws the bell back at krampus the bell just

2:43:23

like mysteriously lowers into the snow i don't know why it does that but it's cool it has a nice symbolic feel to it you

2:43:31

know i reject this bell and he demands krampus give back his

2:43:37

family you know and they all just kind of laugh at him and ignore him yeah krampus opens a flaming hole in the

2:43:43

earth and goes to throw stevie into it i was just thinking how cool it is as a demon to just be able to summon a

2:43:49

flaming hole i just think that's really neat yeah you wouldn't need a garbage can you could just summon a flaming hole and throw

2:43:55

stuff down it to be honest i feel like implications for your soul inside there

2:44:01

are a lot of perks to being a demon seems like yeah they're about to throw stevie in

2:44:07

the pit and so max walks right up to krampus and he's gonna hit him with a tire iron but then he kind of gives up

2:44:12

and i'm not sure why maybe he just sees the fruitlessness of it you know like he's not like he's going to be able to kill

2:44:18

this thing so he just asks him to undo all the harm that was caused he's like i know this is in your power

2:44:24

it's funny he says that i mean i don't think he knows that but maybe he just hopes you know yeah like i hope this is

2:44:31

in your power look at what you've done here everyone's dead

2:44:36

but you know he does the the ultimate sacrifice thing and it's great i actually really like this he just says like you know please bring everyone back

2:44:43

in exchange you can take me if this theory about maybe that he's a pure soul and so he

2:44:49

would be worth more than other people that kind of a thing if that was true then they would go with this

2:44:56

you know and they pause for a minute so it gives you this brief false impression that this movie might

2:45:02

have a better ending but it is not to be it's not to be krampus laughs and

2:45:10

stevie is just cast into the pit and then he picks up max by his head and

2:45:15

dangles him over the fiery pit and you can hear the pitiful shrieks of people down beneath so like you know for

2:45:21

sure this is some kind of a hell you're about to be dropped into yeah like all of your plans have gone gone to ruin

2:45:27

max for his credit you know to his credit pleads with him and just apologizes like

2:45:32

i'm sorry krampus monster i just wanted christmas to be the way it used to be

2:45:39

which is it's like the exactly right things to say he's just being honest and just trying to repent

2:45:44

and krampus don't care he just drops him into the pit

2:45:50

and that's that credits no not quite max awakens from a dream yes this movie

2:45:58

has that happen in it it was all a dream god if

2:46:05

only i could have seen this in theaters yeah no really

2:46:11

he looks out the window everything looks normal again he goes to an ornate wooden advent calendar he has on his wall i mean

2:46:17

they've been showing an advent calendar opening for each day i didn't realize it was on max's wall i

2:46:23

don't know why they gave him this gorgeous old antique i assumed that omi gave it to him

2:46:28

well you seem to like this please don't throw anything at it yeah i think that's a safe assumption

2:46:35

so it's christmas day downstairs everyone is alive and well bedecked in festive but comfortable pajama sleepwear

2:46:43

omi hands out hot chocolate you know just just hot chocolate they

2:46:48

open gifts somebody gave jordan brass knuckles holy crap

2:46:54

yeah it's bad idea i looked it up it's brass knuckles are illegal in 21 states

2:46:59

including mine apparently you can have them in ohio where i think this movie takes place if

2:47:05

you have a permit i don't think she has one though so they're probably still breaking the law here yeah

2:47:11

howard gifted sarah a taxidermy creature i i'm not sure what it is i don't know

2:47:17

if you took time to think about it i thought it almost looks like a lemur or something uh

2:47:23

yeah i thought it was some kind of wombat

2:47:28

i don't know yeah some kind of small mammal oh wait if it's a wombat it wouldn't be a mammal it would be a what are those

2:47:35

called marsupial yeah whatever a small furry creature i don't know where the hell they got it

2:47:40

from but they said they had to reattach its foot so i think howard did at least part of the taxidermy stuff himself which is

2:47:46

very strange yeah everyone's getting their gifts and then max gets you know a present put in his

2:47:52

hands it's a little box you know it's nice and kind of old looking and uh yeah he opens it up

2:47:59

and it's full of satin and in the middle of the satin is a is a krampus bell

2:48:05

and it's great because as soon as he picks up the krampus bell and everyone sees it it's like

2:48:10

it's like um i don't know it's like they were going through a program or something and the program ended you know

2:48:16

or like they ran out of a script or something it's like as soon as everyone saw it just a look of loss

2:48:22

crosses each of their faces one by one and they just look like there's a look of utter despair that just seems to

2:48:29

overtake all of them yeah they're all weirded out by the bell the

2:48:34

whole warm scene falls apart the camera pulls out of the house to reveal that the angle household is

2:48:41

sealed in a snow globe in krampus sinister fairy tale workshop

2:48:47

there's hundreds of other homes adorning the grimy old shelves and just before the credits we get a

2:48:54

jump scare with all the krampus minions sleeping out of the camera yeah just for no reason why not uh yeah i

2:49:01

mean the end

2:49:08

that's how it ends everybody everyone is either dead or in hell i i don't know

2:49:13

which it is but they're in one of them yeah not too many other ways to interpret

2:49:19

that to be honest yeah the credit sequence has a cool advent

2:49:25

calendar layout for the cast and i think if the movie had decided to have a happy ending i would care about that

2:49:31

but the fact that it just ended with everyone being dead and in hell like i don't even want to think about

2:49:37

it's like all right whatever i can't blame the cast for that decision

2:49:43

like i actually really like all of the actors i think they all did really well yeah but guys guys everybody i just

2:49:50

i wanted a happy ending for this film i really i really wanted that

2:49:55

i don't like this ending i don't i don't i don't like it

2:50:03

it's not for me okay so let's go through some of the numbers shall we

2:50:08

krampus has 67 on rotten tomatoes so you know it's not bad

2:50:15

relatively well received yeah i mean it's got 6.2 out of 10 on imdb

2:50:20

and it's got 49 on metacritic see i'm starting to wonder if i'm some kind of an elitist because like i feel

2:50:26

like i line up slightly more with the metacritic than i do with the rotten tomatoes on this

2:50:33

it cost 15 million dollars to make and it grossed 61 million worldwide so yeah it was it

2:50:39

was an actual success it did it made its money back and then some you know it did pretty well yeah

2:50:45

so jacob what'd you think what would you rate this film on a one to ten scale uh

2:50:52

whatever metric feels fair and reasonable to you um i guess i would

2:50:57

i don't know if it's fair to say a seven but it's like it's a pretty strong not like average

2:51:05

but you know it's just it's a pretty good horror movie

2:51:10

it's not great i don't think but it's pretty good

2:51:16

so um so you said a seven out of ten something like that yeah you have to decide jacob okay uh

2:51:23

sure all right god at some point i do like go back and see what i gave each

2:51:30

movie rating is i know i've i've been trying to reorganize everything and uh i keep

2:51:36

forgetting to write it down so yeah i will eventually um yeah i'll put it on a list because i feel like

2:51:43

my first thought was maybe like an eight but i feel like i've done that for a lot of movies i feel like at least half have

2:51:49

got to be an a but i'll have to run some numbers yeah well you know we should have done that for

2:51:55

this episode because this is going to be the end of the year episode i suppose we could have just done like a roundup but we can do that in another one well you

2:52:02

know yeah we could start doing some analysis of our analysis yeah some real inside information stuff

2:52:08

sure i you know at some point i would like to kind of do just like uh

2:52:13

an episode that's not really necessarily about a specific movie but just kind of like a

2:52:20

a bit of a meta one you know yeah it might be fun yeah okay so for me

2:52:28

i don't know this this movie i i wrote like a couple paragraphs trying to explain myself so here we go

2:52:34

this movie is like it's like 70 perfect to me but that 30

2:52:40

really sticks in my craw so first the good the actors are all excellent their

2:52:45

chemistry and interactions are great the setting the set design the concepts the

2:52:51

music sound effects visual effects cinematography is all wonderful

2:52:57

visually it's a lovely movie there's so much here that could make this movie a christmas cult classic in the vein of uh

2:53:03

something like gremlins but the tone as i've mentioned before the tone is uneven it takes too long in

2:53:11

my estimation to get to krampus and his minions much of the dialogue is snappy and great

2:53:17

but everyone's motivation ceases to make sense after bad things start to happen

2:53:22

i mean in a lot of movies with slashers especially like jason voorhees you know there's a lot of unknown

2:53:29

killers so people keep doing dumb things because they don't know they're in a horror movie yet

2:53:34

once you're given warning you you start to make precautions it changes your behavior

2:53:39

but i don't feel like there was enough changing of behavior from characters once they knew

2:53:45

that supernatural forces were capturing their children i feel like they they do a lot of oversights and i think

2:53:51

a lot of it as i mentioned before i think a lot of it would have been improved with just another rewrite just like another draft just where they kind

2:53:58

of polish things up a little bit too many bad decisions made by almost

2:54:04

every single character including leaving a baby chrissy all over the place yeah that wasn't great

2:54:10

i hated every single shot they had of that abandoned baby so i guess some of this stuff is just sticking with me so

2:54:16

maybe there's just some of that most of the surreal dark tone and bleakness

2:54:21

would have been excusable or even enjoyable if max really had been dreaming the whole time and i know

2:54:26

that's an unsatisfying ending but it would have been something that people could more readily accept you could probably have

2:54:33

this on like tbs you know or cable tv every year if it was just a bad dream he had i

2:54:41

know that's lame but it's digestible but by having it be this horrible ending where everyone's

2:54:48

doomed in hell forever it's just it's so it's so dark it's way

2:54:54

darker than it needed to be i don't know there's the big thing about it is that there's this inability that

2:55:01

you can seem to do anything about krampus once he shows up it's like if you accidentally summon krampus you are

2:55:07

doomed almost no matter what i mean at least that's the implication it seems like you can't do anything you're just doomed

2:55:13

and that super downer ending where you know everyone both good and bad is doomed to eternal purgatory just really

2:55:18

doesn't just doesn't please me as a viewer think of the beginning where the movie shows us how much people can suck during

2:55:25

the holiday season now combine that with the knowledge that if others succeed in making you lose hope a supernatural

2:55:31

monster will come kill you as well as other innocent bystanders that happen to be in your family

2:55:37

there is absolutely no reasoning with this thing and escape yeah as i said it appears to be impossible or only

2:55:44

possible for people like omi who will live as warnings to others you know like living like a like a half-life where

2:55:51

you're just just yeah you know like as a stark reminder of the

2:55:56

fickle nature of the gods or something so yeah all of that sucks it's not fun

2:56:02

at least not for me so my gripes are mostly tone and philosophical disagreement but i think it's fair to

2:56:09

say the movie would be far more rewatchable if it has some sort of a happy ending it doesn't have to be a happy ending i

2:56:15

offered but just a happier ending yeah so i don't know i'm a little undecided between a five and a four

2:56:23

okay um i think it's made too well to give it a four because that would put it on par with me for uh maniac cop

2:56:30

and this movie is way better than maniac cop so i think i am obligated to give it

2:56:35

a five but it's a low five for me so yeah i guess you could say this i am displeased

2:56:42

even though most of the movie is good i just yeah i just don't like a bad ending i think

2:56:47

maybe that just really pulls it down for me uh sure enough

2:56:52

so yeah as for the naughty cut i like the various bits of dialogue they added back in and the slight lengthening of a

2:56:59

few scenes i heard that some of the gore was extended but i couldn't easily tell the difference anyway to talk about that a

2:57:05

little bit yeah it doesn't say like it get a blu-ray you get a 4k ultra hd both jammed with behind the scenes stuff

2:57:11

that i have yet to go through because i literally just got this edition late last night so you know i wouldn't say i wasted my

2:57:18

money but yeah it's it's not vital for people who aren't collecting ultra high def horror films

2:57:25

all right well it's a nice addition yeah so jacob how well do you suppose that

2:57:31

people who visit imdb could summarize this film um i mean honestly considering how it's

2:57:37

gone in the past pretty well probably yeah let's find out on today's edition

2:57:42

of imdb plot keywords i should make a little like musical

2:57:47

jingle for that or i could do like the bad radio hosting you know where like it's just my voice

2:57:53

modulated to just say whatever the title is you know like plot keywords

2:57:59

i wouldn't mind that and maybe like you know you like replay the last part of you saying it like a couple times over

2:58:05

like your max headroom like plot key words slowly over time i'm just going to

2:58:11

transform into a shock jockey you know to the chagrin of everyone yeah i need to eventually bring back that sound

2:58:17

board idea eventually yeah okay so there was 251 plot keywords that is a lot of plot

2:58:25

keywords yeah they are sorted by relevance so

2:58:30

these top ones are the most relevant technically so here we go

2:58:37

boyles and ghouls number one christmas

2:58:43

sure yeah yeah i mean undoubtedly that's a slam dunk of course

2:58:49

two folklore sure also a slam dunk yeah very nice

2:58:54

well done everyone number three christmas horror i mean again yeah very

2:59:01

nice good so far yeah solid number four

2:59:07

krampus probably should have been number one but yeah it could be number two yeah it's a

2:59:13

little low i guess five demon

2:59:19

yeah i mean there's actually multiple demons i don't know what a lot of those monsters are but they seem like demons

2:59:24

wearing cheerful costumes you know like that jack-in-the-box thing has like a gooey

2:59:30

mouth underneath the angel lady is like that too so there's something gross under there

2:59:36

and they just like wearing cheerful costumes six baby one person found that relevant why

2:59:43

is that so high up there i don't know well i mean this is when it's getting to like one or no relevance

2:59:49

okay findings so so one person mentioned the baby and i think that is

2:59:56

relevant i actually think that's worthy of being high because child abandonment can really

3:00:01

trigger some people you know moms and protective people you know parents

3:00:07

so yeah you probably should warn people about that that they keep abandoning poor baby chrissy like all over the

3:00:13

place in the movie why do they do that like it's like a

3:00:18

running joke almost they're like oh forgot the baby again seven dog

3:00:25

i i think i would have been more specific and said bulldog but you know i guess that'll do

3:00:30

there is a dog yeah i mean a bulldog almost isn't a dog it's more like a small creature like a

3:00:35

homunculus or something yeah it's familiar it's yeah it's a strange little

3:00:42

a little life but yeah hardly resembling a dog anymore yeah not to throw shade at bulldogs

3:00:50

eight holiday getting a little vague here but that's fine

3:00:55

uh nine snow globe probably should be higher because you know it's both the ending and it's also

3:01:02

quite prominent in the film yeah also i want to note that the snow globe

3:01:07

is is featured prominently on the cover of some of the krampus box arts for some of the dvds

3:01:15

and i know people don't realize it but that is giving away the entire ending

3:01:21

yeah he's got him in a snow globe now i mean there's no way you could know that

3:01:26

unless you watch the movie you know well yeah that's true it just seems like

3:01:32

abstract art until you realize it's literal like no that's literally what happened yeah well it's sort of like uh what was

3:01:39

it uh was that movie it was like the found footage like quarantine

3:01:45

where uh the cover is also the uh just like last shot of the movie the

3:01:51

last shot yeah yeah before the lady gets dragged away yeah that's true spoiler for that movie sort of hey wow

3:01:58

yeah ten we got german you know that also should be higher but a lot of these kind of compete for

3:02:05

relevance on here because they're all pretty relevant i mean this is a very german movie just

3:02:10

because of how much they allow omi to just speak german

3:02:15

that's become kind of disfavored in the you know these subsequent generations of american cinema i feel like in some of

3:02:21

the earlier decades we were more prominent with other languages i mean not just german but just whatever

3:02:28

usually like you know french or german or whatever but it's weird to just have her speak that way i i'm i'm glad they went it's

3:02:34

weird because it's both nice but i don't know i i feel like maybe she overdoes it i feel you know as i said

3:02:41

earlier i think she almost hides behind her language because she knows english and she can speak english and she just

3:02:48

stubbornly refuses to i don't know why that is to be clear we're talking about the character not

3:02:54

the actress who is in fact german is she yeah oh wow

3:02:59

oh yeah the actress is great yeah no i also yeah when i was crapping all over the grandmother character i'm not

3:03:04

crapping all over her name is krista stadler yeah she was great

3:03:10

it's her character yeah it's not her leave that woman alone oh sorry austrian all right should have

3:03:17

oh god okay whatever same difference they were annexed by germany

3:03:24

you accepted hitler with open arms okay man come on

3:03:30

[Laughter] again like i said yeah we're running out of living generations you know that can

3:03:37

be involved in any of that so you know what you guys will be off the hook soon you know give it another 10 or 20 years

3:03:42

and it'll become logistically impossible to to accuse someone of having been

3:03:48

involved with nazis anyway yeah uh

3:03:54

11 santa claus that's wrong there is no santa claus in this movie this is wrong

3:04:00

he is mentioned yeah and then well i mean i guess there is the uh sorry what was that

3:04:05

oh there is the small santa yeah that's checking out beth's butt yeah yeah way to go maul santa oh yeah i

3:04:12

guess it does kinda count but not really yeah sort of it's santa adjacent

3:04:18

uh we got 12 mythology sort of i don't know

3:04:24

what the difference is between folklore and mythology and i'm someone who collects books about

3:04:30

folklore and mythology it just seems like i guess if you take it too seriously they start to call it mythology

3:04:38

yeah i don't think there's a terribly meaningful distinction

3:04:43

yeah so you know it's fine 13 surprise ending yeah yeah

3:04:50

it is surprising i was honestly surprised maybe i'm too much of a softy i don't

3:04:56

know yeah i i'm very hard on this movie and i think it's just because i like a good ending or maybe i just like the

3:05:03

sanctity of of the christmas season you know like in the back of my mind i'm always just like but it's christmas you know

3:05:10

yeah peter i i don't want to be like too too harsh on you but i do think that uh

3:05:16

part of this is just you know you're you can be a bit of a softy but this kind of thing

3:05:22

that's fine yeah i'm just saying sure yeah i speak for the people jacob

3:05:29

or i speak for some people there's gotta be i can't be the only one also coincidentally i'm born on christmas

3:05:36

that doesn't affect my my reasoning at all it's kind of like not having a birthday

3:05:41

yeah i was gonna say that's that's unfortunate to be honest yeah you know but i was born that way

3:05:47

you know it's never been not like that yeah you know what i mean yeah no no

3:05:54

okay 14 bad guys win solid yeah

3:05:59

i mean 15 ambiguous ending uh also kind of solid yeah i mean it's sort of ambiguous

3:06:05

i mean i don't know if i call them ambiguous i feel like it's pretty uh pretty obvious what happens

3:06:11

you know if they made a sequel to this movie where they start in the snow globe and they actually managed to escape

3:06:17

somehow i mean i know that sounds stupid but if they did i would actually like this movie better just because the

3:06:23

ending is less bleak you know if there was even the possibility you could somehow get out i

3:06:31

would like this movie better i just hate thinking that they're trapped in there forever i don't know why i care about these

3:06:36

people i mean maybe it's the movie's fault i mean they did you know they give us just enough backstory you know it got me thinking about what

3:06:42

their lives were like and stuff you know made me feel bad so number 16. we got character name as

3:06:49

title yeah yeah that's very i was gonna say it's very specific but i guess that is a category of things

3:06:56

yeah that's interesting yeah i don't have to like them pointing it out though

3:07:01

yeah 17 we got krampus character i mean they already had krampus so

3:07:07

that's kind of a waste yeah come on dude 18 we got grandmother

3:07:12

grandson relationship which actually that is pretty that's pretty good because like that's actually quite prominent in the film

3:07:19

yeah but that feels specific enough yeah and also i mean max is one of the

3:07:24

only people who learns german just so he could speak to his grandmother or understand what the hell

3:07:30

she's saying at one point her son tom does speak to her in german briefly

3:07:36

yeah but it seems like max is the only one that has any interest you know which is you know that's pretty impressive for

3:07:42

a boy of whatever he is he looks like he's eight or ten or something all right so last two we got uh number

3:07:48

19 supernatural power i guess yeah i mean like

3:07:54

yes but why even put that in there that's not like terribly like are people looking for the uh

3:08:01

the krampus movies without supernatural powers in them there might be some i mean there's

3:08:06

enough of these bad krampus movies that some might just be you know like a jerk showing up basically oh yeah because that's what

3:08:13

krampus would be without supernatural power he would just be a jerk you know he would hit kids with a stick

3:08:18

and they would like call their parents yeah yeah my dad's gonna kick your ass

3:08:24

i still don't like it number 20. you really want like this then

3:08:30

number 20 boy

3:08:35

why just just boy yeah he's got a boy in it jacob yeah it's

3:08:41

important we need to know this i would legitimately feel

3:08:47

somewhat concerned if someone needed to search movies with boys in them

3:08:53

i was thinking about the movie the boy i hope that boy is in the boys

3:08:58

description i mean getting kind of funny but i mean although spoiler alert there is no boy

3:09:04

in the boy so it would actually be a little misleading wow okay so

3:09:11

i love how like stumped you are by that you're just like uh any parting words jacob

3:09:17

words of wisdom concerning krampus yeah don't [ __ ] up or your entire family will

3:09:24

die yeah i wrote something similar be good or krampus will will whip you

3:09:30

with a birch rod yeah i mean well that's more general krampus but then i wrote the more specific for this movie one

3:09:36

where it's if you're the sensitive spiritual one in your family make sure and send out your letters to

3:09:43

sansa or the blood of your whole family is on your hands so yeah yeah

3:09:50

i mean that's kind of the lesson i mean i mean or maybe maybe there is no lesson maybe

3:09:55

that's the thing is that i i'm looking for lessons and there's just nothing to be learned from this it's just stuff

3:10:01

that happened i mean i think there's like a moral to it but i think you are adding a bit more

3:10:08

weight to that than the movie did i guess

3:10:13

well jacob i think this means that we can rest easy for the rest of the holidays or at least you can i'll be editing this

3:10:20

episode but you know yeah yeah but i think this is yeah i think this uh this came out pretty

3:10:25

well uh yeah i hope that you have a merry christmas huh well

3:10:31

you know what you should also have a merry christmas or else i was thinking like you could have just

3:10:37

been like thank you and you just like don't say this no i

3:10:43

i wouldn't do that man like thank you and good day

3:10:50

and that goes for the rest of you out there in podcast land 2. enjoy your holidays even if you happen

3:10:56

to celebrate one of the crappy ones uh also uh to be clear let's not extend

3:11:02

it to people who dislike the podcast if you don't yeah if you don't like them

3:11:07

eat [ __ ] i hope you have a bad holiday go live in a snow globe

3:11:12

oh krampus comes for you don't burp at the table it's gross

3:11:18

yeah so from all of us here at gorman on gore we wish you the best

3:11:25

happy new year to you all as well so until next time i've been peter i'm

3:11:31

jacob and uh this has been gorman on gore see

3:11:38

ya [Music]

3:11:52

[Music]

3:12:00

[Music] i got one more i got one more thing

3:12:06

let's see where is it 


i think all this might be my fault